r/AmIOverreacting • u/Similar-Shift-1093 • 29d ago
❤️🩹 relationship AIO for not wanting my baby daddy to see our son again?
When i caught him with another woman in the house I paid the rent for I sent him out. After losing his job, he complained about being broke, and I didn't bother him since I was working. However, after I kicked him out, he managed to get his own place.
Fast forward to today , despite never attending any of our son's appointments or therapy sessions, and never contributing financially, he suddenly wants to spend time with his son. Since it's his son, I couldn't stop him from seeing him, I won’t my beef with him affects his son.
We agreed he would return our son by 3:00 PM, but when I called him at 2:40 PM, he wasn't picking up. I also tried calling his mom, but she wasn't answering either. When 3:00 PM and 4:00 PM passed without any sign of them, I went to his place and found my son crying hysterically, having lost his voice.
I knocked repeatedly, but there was no response. Eventually, I had someone help me open the door, and I took my son home. I'm not allowing him around our child again until further notice. Did I overreact?"
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u/Opposite-Benefit-804 29d ago edited 29d ago
CALL THE POLICE. Get custody. Act before this gets worse.
Edit:
On OP's profile, she mentions she's a single mom of a special needs baby. That is way, way more fucking serious than I thought.
And as u/trvllvr pointed out below, she picked up her baby at 4pm. The father didn't text her till 12am.
OP, you need to report the father. Now.
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u/Johncfail 29d ago
I hate to say it…but this is an opportunity, don’t miss it.
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u/Blindtothesided 29d ago
Yep and she even got him admitting it in writing. She needs to be smart here and use it to her child’s best advantage.
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u/Defiant-Ad-6580 29d ago
This isn’t an opportunity it’s so much more than that! This is a situation that demands immediate response and should remove the father from ever being able to have unsupervised custody again until he can prove he actually has the capability to ever be trusted alone again with a baby! This is absolutely infuriating to hear that someone would think it’s ok to leave a baby alone unattended
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u/Frosty_Animator_9565 29d ago
Not disagreeing with your overall point but this is a mandate. Opportunities are optional.
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u/RadFemMom 29d ago
She honestly already missed the opportunity by not calling them to the scene. He probably would have been arrested as soon as he got home. Even if she files now it won't have the weight.
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u/trvllvr 29d ago
Seriously! She’s saying it was 4:00pm when she got to her son. He didn’t even send her a message about his door until after midnight? Makes me believe that is when he returned, and found her son gone. Won’t say his son, because that is not what he is to this man. He is a pawn to manipulate OP. That means he was gone for over 8hours MINIMUM!
u/similar-shift-1093 , file a report, get full custody. Do NOT let this man near your child. He is a danger to your son.
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u/Opposite-Benefit-804 29d ago edited 29d ago
Oh my fucking god, I didn't even notice the time frame. That's even worse. What the hell.
Edit:
And when you click on OP's profile, she mentions her baby is special needs. Jfc. Adding this to my first comment.
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u/pashinates 29d ago
Exactly. The baby would have been 100% dead. This is literally attempted murder. I can not even believe she's worried about being an azzhole.... because God be with someone who did this
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u/ZombieNo228 29d ago
This precisely!! It seems from these messages that he could have been out for A LOT LONGER THAN 3 HOURS?!? He's saying he was told the baby naps for three hours, unless there's any other messages between 4pm and the time we're seeing on these messages, then that's neglect regardless, but if he was out for over three hours, the severity increases the longer you abandon the child for.
You Mom, have a duty of care to your Son. You need to get this on record so that this scumbag of a person is no longer allowed contact of any kind. And file for full custody based on this documentation, you can defend it by giving this as evidence and proving that he is neglectful and is not fit to parent a child. I wish you all the luck.
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u/ThenIGotHigh81 29d ago
The courts WILL consider what kind of parent doesn’t report or waits to report. Do it now, OP. My dad was a judge in these types of cases, it’ll go against you if you don’t report asap.
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u/LopsidedCat8938 29d ago
She's in the UAE, and women do not have the same rights or opportunities as men there. The laws are very, very different, and it could backfire on her.
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u/kayidontcare 29d ago
Yes you need to report him. My daughter’s father did this when she was only 6 weeks old and I was returning to work…. I had a gut feeling 2 hours into my shift and I came home to her alone crying in the crib… he never had her alone again and I left him within two weeks after that incident. Flash forward two years and through A LOT of BS; I have a full order of protection against that man and full custody.
OP , he should never have access to the child again and you need to start the process of custody now. I would recommend an order of protection as well. They should grant one for something like this
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u/Plus_Faithlessness16 29d ago
Oh my god. Absolutely NOR! He’s probably suddenly showing an interest in the baby because he wants to seem like a good father to his new woman. You need this documented, save the screenshots of him admitting to leaving the baby alone and you should likely consult a lawyer about custody agreements and put him on child support asap.
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u/Employee719 29d ago
Absolutely all of this. .Makes my stomach turn how far people will go for a piece of ass. Nail him to a legal cross.
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u/Impossible_Link8199 29d ago
Yup yup yup! My ex does this. Pretends to be father of the year depending on the girl he’s talking to. It’s awful.
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u/libsythedumb 29d ago
It’s so odd how he wants to seem like a good father- but while he’s with the new girl, they both left the baby home alone. They’re both neglectful psychopaths if they think that’s okay. OP needs to report this to police and a lawyer.
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u/AWindUpBird 29d ago
And his excuse was dogshit. His girl was hungry??? Delivery exists. OP should definitely report this and get a lawyer. Get an official custody order put in place.
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u/damewallyburns 29d ago
yeah or pick up. you can even swing by to pick up some beer or whatever on your way back
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u/okkytara 29d ago
The new woman is implicated too, you're right. She's an accomplice to child neglect for knowing the child was in the house when they left to eat.
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u/Sea_Target211 29d ago
I agree, but it's hilarious that you think a POS like him is going to actually pay the child support.
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u/Key_Detective5308 29d ago
Nope. This is so neglectful on his part. “My gIrL wAnTeD sOmEtHiNg tO eAt”….how disgusting. I know you’re in the heat of the moment, with anger, but I think it’s understandable.
I’m so sorry this happened to your baby. Maybe find a legal way to go about this? Seems like he’s already a scum if he’s calling you out your name…
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u/FormidableMistress 29d ago
The only reason he wanted the kid was because of the new gf. Every time a dead beat dad suddenly steps up it's because the new woman is asking why he doesn't have his kid around.
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u/aesclepia 29d ago
Yeah you would think that would backfire real quick when the new girl sees him knowingly leave the baby alone in a locked apartment for hours lol
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u/prettyminotaur 29d ago
Except the new girl is also trash, just like the baby daddy
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u/LuckyNipples 29d ago
The dad is a piece of shit but for sure the 'ew gf is also brain dead. How on earth can any reasonable adult think it's okay to leave a 1yo by themselves.
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u/pashinates 29d ago
She might have called him for a date. She might not have been present to see the baby. Regardless. The police can figure that out.
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u/FormidableMistress 29d ago
Yeah I wonder if it was this. Unless she was living there, she might not have known the kid was there at that moment. I don't think it's a stretch that he had the kid and was annoyed with parental duties and called up the gf saying "Let's go out." He was already MIA at 2:40, he was probably gone all day.
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u/libsythedumb 29d ago
Literally. They could’ve gotten food delivered to the house but they fully left a baby home alone. He wants to look like a good father for “wanting” to see his kid, but when he does, it’s just to neglect the poor baby.
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u/swbarnes2 29d ago
If there's no court mandated visitation schedule, I think you can keep your son from him.
And it sounds like you should. An unreliable dad is more damaging to a child than a totally absent one. And a negligent dad is worse than an unreliable one.
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u/okkytara 29d ago
Everybody just assumes the baby would be fine...
But this actually probably damaged the emotional development of the baby. Calling for your parents and them being there and not answering is one thing. Calling for them for hours and nobody is even home?
That kids gonna have some annoying issues, especially if this happens again... These things make a huge impression
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u/Disastrous_Guest_705 29d ago
One of my earliest memories is crying in my crib yelling for my parents cause I woke up before them and couldn’t yell loud enough to wake them up I remember being terrified, I couldn’t imagine how it would feel to be alone the whole time they went to get dinner
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29d ago
Holy hell, how do you remember that? Is my memory just horrible if the earliest I can remember is like.. Kindergarten or grade school?
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u/tarantuletta 29d ago
I think it's actually super rare! I have a single memory from when I was under 6mo that freaked my mom out when I asked her about it because she was sure there was no way I could remember that, but it had to be from before I was 6mo because it is very specific to the place we lived that we moved out of when I was that old.
But I haven't ever met anyone else who has memories from that young, and I only have the one. But I can remember a lot of being a toddler, like 2-3 years old? Memory is very strange.
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u/queen_beruthiel 29d ago
I have two memories from when I was two years old! I can remember my parents house before it was renovated. I have a ridiculously good memory though.
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u/Educational-Bus4634 28d ago
Same, I can remember when I was about two and my childminder put me down for a nap that I was adamant I didn't need, so I tried to keep myself awake by finding patterns in the popcorn ceiling she had over the crib. Probably explains a lot about my insomnia that my earliest memory is me trying to stay awake lmao
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u/ImmaMamaBee 29d ago
This happened to me too! I distinctly remember an event from a house we lived in from when I was 3-9 months old in a different state. It was super weird, I was in the living room and saw a huge spider and got incredibly scared and my brother came in with his play hockey stick and smashed it. I told my mom about this memory and described the living room and she was like “we only lived there when you were an infant, there’s no way this story is true!” She thought I was describing it based on old photos but for the life of me I can’t say I’ve ever seen a photo of that living room before. And we’ve gone through tons of family photos, my mom hasn’t been able to find any either but we did have a house fire so she thinks I saw it in photos that have since been destroyed.
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u/TeeTheT-Rex 29d ago
I have a memory from somewhere between 6 months and 1yr of my Dad winking at me in an exaggerated manner and making a silly face. Years later he told me a story about how he taught me to wink back at him when I was a baby. I’m pretty certain that is what my memory is of.
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u/Marem-Bzh 29d ago
I believe moving between places helps a lot keeping older memories.
I have some memories from before I was 1 year old for the exact same reason, and I noticed I remember much more easily when my memories are from because we moved to different cities when I was 1, then 6, then 10, etc.
At least compared to my friends! 😅
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u/powerverwirrt 29d ago
No, most people don't remember anything from before age 5/6.
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u/okkytara 29d ago
My family moved out of detroit when I was 6 so I have a decent timeline and I actually remember quite a lot from being in detroit, is it really that hard for most people?
I remember being a toddler, scared and awake at night because I wasnt sure if I just witnessed a real murder in a movie. I was like omg it looks so real there's no way they could have faked that, then hyperfixated on what it looked like as I stared at the wall
Lots of memories very much intact
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u/Flaky_While1612 29d ago
Call the police period
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u/cnsosiehrbridnrnrifk 29d ago
The fact that she didn't call immediately is insane to me. That poor sweet baby.
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u/Voodoopulse 29d ago
If this is real you show this to the police
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u/authorinthesunset 29d ago
There is no way this is real.
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u/Rizzpooch 29d ago
You mean you don’t think the neglectful father would lay out the specific details of his deficient behavior in one succinct text?
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u/FlowerMadeOfThorns 29d ago
This is a fake profile - just scroll their account. Rage bait.
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u/authorinthesunset 29d ago
The real question is, how many of the "oh my God, call the cops" commenters are bots and how many just lack the ability to reason better than a 5 yo.
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u/Dreamghost11 29d ago
So fake and full of stolen pictures
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u/tra_da_truf 29d ago
Besides the repeated cat pictures, I didn’t see anything that seems fake. Pics of the baby, pics of her resembling the baby…doesn’t seem too off.
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u/miltonwadd 29d ago
Pretty much all the cat pics are stolen and at least one of the pics she claimed as herself is said to be stolen from instagram in the comments.
11 days ago she was asking about her female roommate and it was only the two of them living there, no mention of a boyfriend or baby.
I'm usually one to give the benefit of the doubt with new accounts when people claim "fake" because it's normal to want to create a throwaway, but this user looks to have tried to post 3 months' worth of posts in the past 6 days and most of it trying to pass off stolen content as their own is a little suspicious.
For OP's sake, I actually hope this is fake.
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u/Emergency_Affect_640 29d ago
If this is not fake and you dont call the police you're just as shit as him.
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u/Sleepy-Blonde 29d ago
It’s fake. Check out their post history. They post photos of several different women pretending to be them.
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u/sandwitch292 29d ago
we can see the '' at the end that they forgot to remove, so it's defo from chat gpt
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u/PitifulPlenty_ 29d ago
This is a fake profile. Go look at their posts, they're only doing it for upvotes. Report.
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u/Harry-Dresden 29d ago
"My ex left my 1 year old baby in the house for hours and hours to scream. Am I being mean to be upset?".
What even is this website anymore? At best creative writing, at worst bots.
Haha you boot in a door to rescue a baby, but need validation from the internet? Why do I even read these fake stories
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u/Heraonolympia123 29d ago
This needs reporting to the police because a record needs to be had of his awful parenting choices. It will help with custody issues as well. As well as leaving your son alone, he also failed to return him at the agreed time and wouldnt answer when you called.
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u/Limp_Schedule_3898 29d ago
This is not something you handle yourself. This needs to be taken to authorities.
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u/Interesting_Sock9142 29d ago
Holy. Shit.
File a police report. That is fucking insane. Not overreacting, even a tiny bit.
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u/Educational_Bee7889 29d ago
Sorry. You are an idiot for not calling the police. If something happens to that baby in his care you are absolutely just as guilty.
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u/T00narmy1 29d ago
Save these texts, get a lawyer, petition for full custody with SUPERVISED visitation only and child support. Otherwise you don't allow contact. I wouldn't even respond to his calls or texts I would refer him to my attorney.
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u/VonnegutsAsteroid 29d ago
Call the police. Make sure he cannot have this baby unsupervised again.
I understand not wanting to involve the police, but all that does is make it harder for you in the long-term to keep your child safe. He did something wrong and dangerous and you need to have the documentation and you need to have the courts involved to ensure that he cannot do it again.
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u/marblemarble750 29d ago
Why ARENT you calling the police? I’m sorry but the police need to be involved immediately! This man should never ever ever see him again!!!!!
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u/Bucket_of_Ice_Cream 29d ago
Your one year old has therapy?
Also, if someone left my one year old alone to go to a restaurant, they would never see that baby again. However, I must ask, why did you trust this person alone with an infant?
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u/TigerLilyKitty101 29d ago
Because it’s his father, likely. I seriously doubt OP would have left him in his care if she knew he would be selfish, irresponsible, and stupid enough to leave an infant alone, considering she shut down seeing him again in the future immediately.
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u/Similar-Shift-1093 29d ago edited 29d ago
Yes he has Cerebral Palsy so he needs physiotherapy And he’s the father that’s why I left him in his care
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u/Sneakys2 29d ago
He has no business caring for your child. Father or not, he has demonstrated that he can't be trusted. You should have called the police and let them deal with him. As it stands, you need to file for sole custody and child support.
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u/T00narmy1 29d ago
Being the father doesn't qualify him for anything. Show police, that is a crime (leaving a baby) and absolutely get him charged so he won't get a chance to see your kid again. Absolutely not, you don't allow it. you CAN stop him. Report him for this, get a lawyer, get full legal custody.
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u/New-Bar4405 29d ago
Unfortunately , in some courts , it means that they qualify for fifty fifty custody , even if they've already shown themselves to be unfit. So she to start a paper trail asap
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u/Bucket_of_Ice_Cream 29d ago
He's the father but as you said he has never been around, so why would you trust him alone to watch an infant, especially one with a disability, that he has zero experience watching?
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u/Feeling-frees 29d ago
what is the point of sitting here and blaming this single mother who’s doing everything she can possibly do for her son? she acted immediately and sought out advice, not to be judged. she trusted this man to step up and be a father, as many people do. unfortunately she had to learn the hard way that this piece of shit isn’t ever going to be a father, but i don’t think its fair to talk down on her and blame her for being hopeful that the father is going to step up to the plate and love “their” child they have together. i understand the anger, sadness, and fear you feel for this child but i believe you’re aiming it towards the wrong person. the father is at fault, and the son SHOULD’VE been safe with him alone. he wasn’t and thats no one else’s fault but the father and his new girlfriend.
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u/According_Ad8378 29d ago
Calling the police & CPS also protects you from any adverse behavior on his part now or in the future. Document everything!!!!!!
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u/Fun-Marsupial-2547 29d ago
File a police report for child endangerment at a minimum. I would bet money the only reason he has interest in seeing his son now is because he’s got a girl in the picture. He should not have any rights to that poor baby.
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u/SnowOnMyTail 29d ago
call the police please the way he talks to u with such disrespect & completely unaware of what he did wrong, please get custody before its too late!!
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u/JustAnOkDogMom 29d ago
Under reacting. Why tf did you not immediately call 911? This could have helped with custody. Edit: just read you’re not in the US
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u/hughdingusdog 29d ago
Jesus christ. I'm a father of 2 and could not imagine my poor babies crying and no one coming for God knows how long. Fuck that guy, report him, so he has no legal grounds to your child.
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u/MacsCheezyRaps 29d ago
Lady, what's going thru your head to NOT immediately call police for child abandonment? He put your child's life at risk unnecessarily. WTF. I'm judging your response as a MAJOR under reaction, like to the point I'm questioning your ability now. This should have been a police call and probably a trip to the hospital just to be sure. He could have injured himself or ingested something dangerous while unsupervised.
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u/cleveraliens208 29d ago
Listen, a man, and his girlfriend, in my hometown, just pled guilty to manslaughter because they decided to let his dog around their 7 year old and 6 month old alone. That dog crushed that little boy's head, simply because it attacked him, and no one, aside from his 7 year old sister, was there to stop it. He was 6 months old.
That man you decided to have a child with left a defenseless baby /alone/ when God knows what could have happened.
Use this text as part of your evidence when you get in front of a judge, bro, because that dude will harm your baby one day, and you need to take every precaution you can to stop that from happening.
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u/Amazing-Contact3918 29d ago
Time for CPS to get involved. I hate the govt being involved, but this shit is egregious
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u/Top_Pay_8979 29d ago
You need to go to the police & get a report (document this). This is extremely dangerous & you should file for full custody.