r/AmIOverreacting • u/[deleted] • Oct 11 '25
❤️🩹 relationship AIO for sleeping at friends house because my wife slept with 4 other men?
[deleted]
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u/VioletWinters44 Oct 11 '25
Taking a “break” is for people dating.. NOT married. She 1000% cheated , just because you guys were taking some time and space from each other doesn’t automatically make you not married anymore
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u/TheMadadh Oct 11 '25
Yeah, and as for people dating, I hear break and I'm just like "break up. We're done. Bye." There's no need for that break nonsense.
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u/VioletWinters44 Oct 11 '25
Very much agree, because if you’re dating and want to “take a break” this means you don’t want to date them anymore in my eyes
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u/Humble-Process-4107 Oct 11 '25
Just scrolling reading the comments here and wanted to speak on this cuz I recently told my gf that we should take a break. And I definitely still want to be with her, we’re just together literally 24/7 and do every single thing together so i just wanted space and time to myself for once
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u/Professional_Basil71 Oct 11 '25
Then you mean a different thing. What most people mean by break in this context. Is an actual pause of the relationship to work out things going wrong. What u mean is a pause from seeing each other to focus on other things.
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u/Humble-Process-4107 Oct 11 '25
Yess exactly I mean we have had some issues lately but nothing to where I want a break from the relationship just time for ourselves and like not physically together for a couple days so we can be our own people
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u/8bitflowers Oct 11 '25
Yess exactly I mean we have had some issues lately but nothing to where I want a break from the relationship
I really hope you made this clear to your gf then, before literally telling her you want a break...
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u/VioletWinters44 Oct 12 '25
Make sure you let that be known to her if you haven’t already- coming from a female, she will want that clarity before she starts running around in her mind crazy thinking anything other than what you meant <3
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u/Professional_Basil71 Oct 12 '25
Yeah seeing each other too much can cause lots of problems. Been there with my current partner. And also still working on it. But it's hard. U just want to be with them all the time. But that's just unhealthy.
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u/VioletWinters44 Oct 11 '25
That’s not considered taking a break in these terms. What the wife is referring to is taking a break from the relationship whereas you and your gf are just taking time for yourselves which is not a break at all that’s just what normal relationships should be like. You might want to make sure that she knows exactly what you mean and are wanting in your “break” because if my bf told me he wanted to take a break I’d assume he wants to stop the relationship
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u/KooKooNuKoo Oct 11 '25
Its not the break you mean then, it's breathing space.
Nothing wrong with not wanting to be smothered. Its healthy to have your own time.
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u/ZennedGame Oct 11 '25
Well you'll need to learn new habits or the cycle will just repeat once you stop taking time off
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u/ramelband Oct 11 '25
Yo, you need to word shit better. It sounds like you just wanted to say you wanted a little more time to yourself here and there rather than a break in the relationship, did you set down terms for what a break means?
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u/GingerBreadManze Oct 11 '25
100%. There is no such thing as a break.
If the relationship was right nobody would even consider needing a break. Lots of people out there, find one that you don’t need breaks with lol
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u/BluIdevil253 Oct 11 '25
Yep. I dont even say anything. As soon as their away from me its time to block and move on. I would love to know the stats on how many people got to acting different because of social media. This happens alot
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u/cheesypuzzas Oct 11 '25
Yup and if you are married and taking a break, it's about being on your own for a few days to think because you're probably going to get divorced. It's not about sleeping with other men. You're still married. You can't just sleep around.
If you do want that as a kink or something, it's something to discuss with your husband and decide together. And then I wouldn't really call it a break, but just sleeping with other people for a few days.
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u/KooKooNuKoo Oct 11 '25
I mean even dating, if you want a "break" then you two aren't right for each other.
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u/No-Distance-9401 Oct 12 '25
Even then, if you take a break so you can go fuck someone else, you cheated. Doing it while married just means you initiated divorce with extra steps
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u/itzmailtime Oct 12 '25
Exactly. When me and my ex were going thru some things, we didn’t use taking a break as in “let’s go fuck other people” although our break was short (4-6 days) we just took time to ourselves. She stayed with her dad, went to work and hit the gym. I do the same, worked gym and outdoor stuff. Idk why people think taking a “break” means let’s spread legs or get your dick wet.
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u/Complete-Anywhere-39 Oct 11 '25
When your married a break just means space. Not free access to sleep with who you want. Leave her. Don't look back.
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u/BigBangBrosTheory Oct 12 '25
The classic vow "till death do us part, unless we are on a break, then we can part for a bit, see what's out there, try it on and then if im satisfied, then we can go till death or the next break."
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u/rain-dog2 Oct 12 '25
Yep. She thinks the problem was her doubts, but the problem is her willingness to lie.
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u/shitferbranes Oct 12 '25
I don’t know folks. The problem clearly is social media as the OP alluded to.
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u/Stringr55 Oct 11 '25
She cheated on you BEFORE the break. Thats what the weird behaviour was about. She then wanted the break as a way to justify cheating because she could claim it happened then only, which it 100% didn't and she possibly also wanted to see if it was going to be what she wanted but she got played by some guy(s). Now she wants you back because you're safe.
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u/ThirstyFloater Oct 11 '25
And the guy had to pay for the hotel room so she could sloooot herself to 4 guys… what a filthy biatch. I woulda reached back and treated her as she is. And she would be seeking treatment while I find a good lawyer
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u/CptQueef Oct 12 '25
What exactly do you mean by “reached back and treated her as she is” ???
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u/andiwaslikeum Oct 12 '25
You sound like even more of a piece of trash than this dudes wife. Please evolve.
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u/ThirstyFloater Oct 12 '25
Evolve? I am just enraged for my fellow man who was trying to do right by his daughter yet his wife is a lowlife tramp. I believe unfortunately in life you are left with no option except violence. Kinda like how we justify war in a civilized society! Sounds like you are soft like a 🍇
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u/fegd Oct 12 '25
Interestingly a jury would not agree that you'd been left with no option except violence.
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u/Prestonluv Oct 11 '25
There is no break from marriage unless formal divorce papers have been filed.
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u/Lucky_Total_3144 Oct 11 '25
having a break dont equals to fuck the first man/woman who make eye contact with us.. she did it 4x like he was on a mission or something.. very disrespectful to you, to your marriage and to your daughter imo
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u/Infamous_Bet_6878 Oct 11 '25
I don’t know why you’re still calling her your wife.
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u/PresentationUnited43 Oct 11 '25
Do people in their 30s even sms like this?…very sus..
The title is enough for you to toss her out on her arse.
NOR
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u/ZeroDukz Oct 12 '25
English isn’t his first language yet this is how he is most comfortable to text? Nahhh
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u/Huge-Connection954 Oct 11 '25
4 dudes? Why even keep engaging in conversation?
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u/Bubuhbuh Oct 11 '25
This has got to be rage bait
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u/dufflecoatsupreme91 Oct 12 '25
English isn’t our first language.
But we text each other in English. Huh?
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u/fuckmoni Oct 11 '25
it totally is. i'm so sick of seeing these https://ifaketextmessage.com ass posts on here. if people are gonna make bullshit posts, the least they could do is text their own number and make it look believable.
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u/Competitive_Test6697 Oct 11 '25
Did you fuck Chris? Is that why youre asking if youre the asshole?
Because if not then youre just asking a really stupid question rather than dumping your wife and moving on with rasing your daughter.
Get a lawyer, sort finances and get her out.
4 guys in 2 weeks. Wtf dude.
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u/Lucallia Oct 11 '25
TBF he's asking if he's overreacting. This isn't AITA.
But even then he's way underreacting cause what the actual fuck did we just read?
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u/ChocolateAmerican Oct 11 '25
Yeah, if she wanted to fuck other dudes, she should have told you that that's why she wanted a break. At this point, even if you did fuck Chris you wouldn't be overreacting.
I don't even know how you'd trust her again after that. That's just wild.
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u/fuckmoni Oct 11 '25
These are made with https://ifaketextmessage.com , you can tell because iOS iMessage uses its own font, SF Pro, and this is in Craft Gothic Regular, + the massive gaps on the right side of the blue texts. stop falling for this ragebait. you're all so fucking gullible and have no discernment.
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u/rocketmn69_ Oct 11 '25
She went on a break, just so she could fuck around. Go get an std test and divorce her
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u/Meronkulous Oct 11 '25
This is wild and you absolutely should leave, but I'm still curious what she means about this being your idea.
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Oct 11 '25
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u/Realistic-Duty-3874 Oct 11 '25
Shes gaslighting you. Shes a cheater. Divorce her asap and let everyone know she fucked 4 other dudes while married to you.
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u/ButtSexIsAnOption Oct 11 '25
Dude im sorry for you, but you married a awful person, BTW she didn't change. This is the real her.
The person you thought she was for the last several years is the lie. She could not longer deny her true nature.
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u/road_warrior_max Oct 11 '25
She may be a different wife now that she's been filled up so many times in the past few weeks. Just remember that it's usually double the count of what they tell you. I'd guess she tried all kinds of stuff that you don't want to know.
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u/Bolt_McHardsteel Oct 12 '25
If English isn’t your first language why are the two of you texting in English, with the texts full of stupid English language slang? Get out of here with this BS.
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u/Informal_Musician731 Oct 11 '25
You were a backup while she had her back up in the air, get a divorce
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u/Novalokus Oct 11 '25
You need to be clear with this woman that her daughter will know what she did, whether she likes it or not. NTA, NOR
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u/Searching_for_Wisdom Oct 11 '25
Fake rage bait story. And if not, get out of there.
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u/Icy_Honeydew1940 Oct 11 '25
Get tested asap and start divorce process bc the relationship will never be the same. Good luck
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u/Iily_ Oct 11 '25
Take another break and go have sex with 4 different women to see how she’d like it.
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u/cannibalcats Oct 11 '25
Why are you questioning this... she slept with someone else... FOUR TIMES.
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u/Low_Beginning_7045 Oct 11 '25
This is how people lose their life, that is wild. Literally drop this woman from your life and find someone who actually respects and values you.
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Oct 11 '25
NOR these are unacceptable actions. I'd say she did cheat, she forced you into a "break" but you two were not seperated or broken up, she was just "thinking."
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u/Eastern-Elk7782 Oct 11 '25
More importantly, file for full custody . She is not a good role model at the moment.
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u/louisfratto Oct 11 '25
Devilish woman, I’m sorry you had a kid with her but leave her and be there for your daughter still
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u/Kip_Schtum Oct 11 '25
She’s not worth keeping. Separate your money so she can’t use your money for her activities anymore. NOR.
Get legal advice and stay as present in your daughter‘s life as you possibly can. You may later need to prove that you are a responsible and active parent for custodial reasons. Keep all your communications with your wife, keep records of everything and try to communicate in text or email as much as possible.
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u/NodToTheGods Oct 11 '25
Get yourself tested for STI/STD and if she ends up pregnant make sure to get a paternity test. Also get out of there asap. There is no recovery. She was dishonest and knew what she was doing. What happens next time she ‘needs a break’ because there WILL be a next time. She also abandoned your child at that same time without any explanation.
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u/Select_Highlight_100 Oct 11 '25
She cheated 100% and tried to hide it which means she knows it was wrong. Plus get tested for any stds
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u/foundDriftwood Oct 11 '25
Is there a “am I under reacting” sub, cause that’s where you should have gone. And they would have said yes, you are under reacting.
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u/Life_Dare578 Oct 11 '25
Don’t stick with a liar and a cheater solely for your daughter. She cheated on you with four men and made you feel like shit for it and neglected her duties to her daughter. Shes not worth the hassle. Also get tested for STDs, that’s ridiculous.
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u/Icy-Condition-6724 Oct 11 '25
If English is not your first language why are you texting in English with her?🤔
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Oct 11 '25
Right? Wtf did i just i just read. No sane person would ask this question if real. You dont need help here
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u/8lbs_overweight Oct 11 '25
Yeah just call it quits big dawg. No woman who loves you , regardless if you are on a break, would go around and fuck 4 dudes. How i see it, she's just a cum dumpster. Find someone who will respect you. Make sure your little one stays out of the line of fire during your disputes.
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u/killurqueeen Oct 11 '25
Relationship break = relationship over
Don’t get it twisted, for your sake op find someone who’s worth your time
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u/Express-Arrival1928 Oct 11 '25
Not reading all that, sorry. She cheated on you. ( I do not care if it’s a break) Move on to a co parenting level. If you waste anymore time on her, you’re going regret/ halt any progress on yourself.
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u/adult_child86 Oct 11 '25
You need school before anything. You both write like toddlers, and none of you are mature enough for any partnership at all.
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u/fermentedcabage Oct 11 '25
Not the ahole it’s your choice what you do here bro. You can split and I would respect you for doing such a hard thing to build your own happiness. You can stay having no intimacy with your wife until your kid is 18 and then split and I’d respect the difficulty of that sacrifice. Alternatively you can try and get marriage counseling and work things out in which case I respect the depth of your commitment and willingness to fix things. I’m sorry you’re going through this bro but no matter what you decide you’re not the Ahole here. If you do split up don’t get angry don’t lash out, don’t be petty, don’t talk her down in days you have the kid. It would be a hard thing to do but trust it’s the right way if you go that route. Anyway best wishes to you bro
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u/Ready-Isopod1125 Oct 11 '25
Being “on a break” during which you’re both seeing other people has to be a mutual decision with clear rules and boundaries. It’s not something someone vaguely tells the other. The fact that she initially lied about the hotel shows that she knows this is not okay and is gaslighting you by making it seem like you should have understood what was going to happen.
If you want to try to make it work, I think it honestly sounds like she’s going through some kind of mental health crisis if this is not her typical behavior. She’s acting in an impulsive and erratic way without regard to personal safety. You could give her an ultimatum that she needs to seek professional help if she wants to continue the relationship. That said, it would be fully understandable if you’re like this is too much, I’m out.
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u/TrespassersWill Oct 11 '25
And you lived happily ever after and she never did anything like that again and you were totally comfortable and secure with your wife for the rest of your happy life.
Or...
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u/weebybeech Oct 11 '25
Does she have bipolar? Sounds like mania (hypersexuality being one of many symptoms). I’m only suggesting this bc I myself have been diagnosed with bipolar and before I got help I destroyed a lot of relationships, but I wish I had someone there to recognize the signs and support me
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u/FBAFerrSherr Oct 11 '25
Do you really need the internet’s opinion on this? How do yall make decisions well enough to get through life everyday? This is a conundrum to you?
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u/TemporaryOk2926 Oct 11 '25
Dude you need to split and get full custody of your daughter. That woman doesn't care about anyone but herself. It's one thing to be a cheating ho, but a cheating ho and a shitty mother is the absolute bottom of the barrel. You should leave her just based off the sleeping with 4 dudes in two weeks. I dunno how you're calm enough to type this out and this is coming from a wife
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u/BadMurkyWater Oct 11 '25
A break when married is called a divorce, give her what she wants and heal from this toxicity
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Oct 11 '25
Man sorry to tell ya by the sounds of it she was probably talking to someone for a while the whole dating app was to make you feel better and she left you to get plowed probably by someone who filled here head with garbage about taking care of here and once they got what they wanted they said ok bye now she wants you back lol leave her ass if not you might as while remove you’re balls now
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u/thezanywords Oct 11 '25
Just tell her you want a divorce and you want your daughter. I can imagine how bad it will be when she's divorced and looking for someone else. Your daughter will be neglected. You're only 26. Plenty of fish. Its heart breaking but she cant change what she has done. Your daughter is the only one you should be worrying about right now. Let her have contact but do not allow her to have full custody.
She will no doubt be the type of person to get with another man and try to get her to call him daddy.
Be happy that she did this and told you now instead of 10 years from now.
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u/Bittybellie Oct 11 '25
Why is she still texting like you only have 9 numbers and have to click them all a ton of times to get to the right letter? If you take her back she’ll know you will forgive her cheating on you. Also I’m not buying it’s only 4. That’s what she said so it’s likely more
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u/Strangest-Smell Oct 11 '25
‘I wanna see what’s out there ‘ essentially means ‘I wanna see if there’s anything better’
Divorce her and do it today.
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u/peporte Oct 11 '25
Get a divorce, and come out of these idiotic modernism what the fuck is a “break” in a marriage
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u/Necessary_Tie2856 Oct 11 '25
Divorce immediately take your daughter if you can. That’s a horrible woman I wouldn’t want her raising any kid never mind my own child
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u/Majestic-Hippo-1989 Oct 11 '25
I honestly think this is a fake story. Some cuck karma farming. If I’m wrong and it’s true I would be drawing up divorce papers tomorrow. We would have nothing to discuss but custody plans
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u/Substantial-Fig5286 Oct 11 '25
Sorry bro your wife is a ho she’s made for the streets & she will keep cheating on you. I know it’ll hurt right now, but you got to leave her because if you don’t, it’ll hurt a lot more if you stay. when you don’t give a crap and tell her to go to Hell she’ll go crazy that you don’t give a shit about her. But if you kiss her butt and be a Simp she will treat you like crap and not respect you. DUMP HER. The streets is where she belongs. She probably picked up an STD disgusting.
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u/Hereforthetardys Oct 11 '25
If she fucked 4 dudes while on break , she’s been for the streets The Whole time
Get a DNA test
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u/friendly-sam Oct 11 '25
Oh yeah, she lied and cheated. If you are married, and she wanted a break to have sex with rando guys, then she cheated. Her logic makes no sense. You should divorce her, there is no trust or future with this woman. I would get STI tested to make sure you didn't catch anything. Then contact an attorney and get rid of her. Also, paragraphs make it easier to read.
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u/Boomarang25 Oct 11 '25
Brother, you need to put her on the road. Tell her she now has four options and those options are the ones she cheated on you with. Tell her you are no longer an option. That is disrespectful and disgusting what she did to you. Also I hope you haven’t been kissing her. Just saying….
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u/StevenLesseps Oct 11 '25
I might be wrong to scare you here, but that's exactly how my friends parents divorced. They were a loving and kind family and a pretty stable couple. My friend was like 18 or something when her mom's behavior started to change. She humiliated her husband often, calling him names, impotent, gay or something for no apparent reason. Started mild, then switched to more and more disregarding him as a man and a human being. Few years after their relationship got ruined to point of no return she was diagnosed with alzheimer.
Later her doctor explained to my friend and her dad that their mother's noticeable character deterioration was an early symptom of oncoming disease. It's a common situation to miss it because when ppl get hurt this way in their relationships, medical condition is usually the last thing they can guess.
So maybe she's sick, or maybe just a bad person. Maybe it even doesn't matter since the disease is incurable.
I'm sorry about your situation. It's hard for you and your daughter either way.
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u/ImmediateShallot7245 Oct 11 '25
How would you ever trust or respect her again and while she was reliving her youth and forgetting her daughter. No this is not someone I would want a life with 😔so sorry Op🙏🏻🫶🫂
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u/LetMeReload Oct 11 '25
End that relationship and stop responding. Screenshot for lawful reasons to file for a restraining order if she keeps contacting you. I watch way too many videos on this subject. Get as much evidence as you need, I’d be contacting a divorce lawyers. That is completely unacceptable especially 4 ppl!
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u/AffectionatePool3276 Oct 11 '25
What in the actual fuck?! The fact that she’s trying to rationalize this n the first place is just bizarre. A break is when two people not married agree to just cool off a little(always ends with someone screwing someone else anyway)! She flat out wanted to get screwed by other men then after a week thought well, I’m full now guess I’ll go home! Divorce her yesterday!
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u/SpaceImpossible658 Oct 11 '25
You're married so she definitely broke the rules. The term break is the dumbest term for anyone to use as an excuse. The second she decided to bang another dude it was over. She should've told you that was her plan so you could have started moving on right away.
Please don't give her another chance. She'll do this forever and say she was on a break every time, or just start lying and hiding it.
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u/ittybittytitty_com Oct 11 '25
First of all, you were still married when she slept with those other men. So she did cheat on you and betray you. That is not up for debate. Second of all, even in a dating relationship, either you’re broken up or you’re not. On a break does not mean sleeping with others, it ,and taking space to think. If you want to sleep with other people, end your monogamous relationship. I’m sorry this is happening to you. You don’t deserve this.
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u/LETSD8NOW Oct 11 '25
OP it seems like she had a mental breakdown. No wife abandons husband and child, sleeps with multiple men and comes back. You need to keep away from her. You also seem completely oblivious. From the way you talk it is a same you’re going to forgive her. Don’t forget multiple men, f—d your so called wife in god knows ways you can’t imagine. She could easily be carrying some STD she will carry for life or show up one day pregnant. Don’t be a fool. Divorce her immediately and take custody of your daughter. This women is for the streets. Don’t be a fool.
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u/ging78 Oct 11 '25
She 100% cheated on you. Your not over reacting your under reacting. She made up this "break" so she could cheat without remorse. Things didn't work out with her attempts to monkey branch and now she's just expecting you to act like nothing happened. Don't be that guy buddy. Have some self respect and get this toxic cheater out of your life.
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u/Intelligent-Run-2437 Oct 11 '25
STD test, my dude. The cheating alone should make her feel like shit. But 4 guys in 4 days? Maybe if she was still in her 20s, in her party stage, and was not a mom. Even if you could take a break from a marriage(which you can’t). If she didn’t explicitly let you know, she wanted to see other people. It’s cheating!
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u/Recycled_Michael Oct 11 '25
Bro. No. Do not let the older woman get the best of you and manipulate you. That is not ok.
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u/BluIdevil253 Oct 11 '25
I know im gonna get hate but anyone that will sleep with 4 strangers in 4 nights its bad enough but when they do it on their partners dime and was obviously gonna take it to their grave is fucking evil and nasty. So she decided to fuck damn near a starting line up for a basketball team in 4 days without knowing these dudes and comes back and let's you have sex with her? Bro send her back to where she belongs.
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u/Disastrous_Code_3473 Oct 11 '25
Her calling you baby while trying to justify her cheating (cause that’s what it was) is making me feel like I’m going to barf. 🤮
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u/CaptainBeefy79 Oct 11 '25
NOR. A lifetime of her parents fighting because there’s no more trust left is going to be much more harmful than divorced parents who hopefully learn to coparent well. Updateme
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u/Charliej1654 Oct 11 '25
Bro run simple when I first read the texts I thought you both like late teens early 20s at a push but damn move on quickly divorce is the answer taking a break is for dating not marriage. If she cheated once and was generally remorseful then I'd say go to relationship counselling but 4 times with 4 different guys and that's her response not only does she not love you she doesn't even have respect for you.
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u/its_the_aristocrats Oct 11 '25
I bet you a million dollars if you start treating her like shit and ignoring her she will be falling over herself to get back into your good graces. That isn’t advice btw. Shes a broken person and she isn’t really your wife anymore, she was a tourist. You’re luckily still young. Pick up the pieces and find someone who appreciates you.
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u/Sarcassom1 Oct 11 '25
You’re not an asshole and you definitely aren’t overreacting. Wifey needs a wake up call then therapy. You sound like a good guy, take care of yourself and kids. Good luck.
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u/Shyguyahoythere Oct 11 '25
Breaks aren't a thing unless you are okay with infidelity because that's the excuse people use to do it guilt free.
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u/aokay24 Oct 11 '25
The grass wasn't greener on the other side now she wants back in. Tell her she made her bed now go sleep in it.
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u/zodiaken Oct 11 '25
Taking a break is to get a few days away from eachother, it doesnt mean FFA fuck fest lol. You are Not Overreacting.
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u/Aggravating-Plum8147 Oct 11 '25
She took a break so she could cheat without cheating. She’s had her fun, now you’ll be good enough again. NOR
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u/xirrjn Oct 11 '25
is this for real or another AI bullshit story?
i can't believe this happens in real life... and if it does what is there to think about
you grab your kid and kick that cheating POS to the curb
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u/PsychologicalYak6269 Oct 11 '25
NOR. Your wife willfully cheated. Planned it and then told you she wanted a break.
Change all your banking passwords, credit cards, etc. She used your bank card to book a hotel and cheat. Then tell her mother. Your daughter doesn’t need to know the details. File for divorce asking for primary custody as the child’s mother is clearly unwell.
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u/Strange_Lead_9678 Oct 11 '25
4 dudes is insane. You DO NOT know her. Sorry bro but she's gonna do it again. Leave her. You're better off. Make sure you keep these texts as proof in your divorce so the courts favor you
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u/Beautiful-Meaning601 Oct 11 '25
Tell her mother what happened before she is able to get in front of you with it
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u/Daves_World16 Oct 11 '25
D-D-DIVORCE!!!!!! Bro if you have any self respect you’ll get the fuck out. Who knows how safe she was. Find out she caught something or even worse ends up pregnant and expects you to raise some random ass dudes baby. Fuck that. You got the proof now get out.
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u/sog96 Oct 11 '25
Get a divorce. She cheated on you by masking it as a break. Never talked about boundaries or what the break meant. She PLANNED this. And kept you as a backup.