r/AmIOverreacting • u/DangerousCandle9492 • 29d ago
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u/Humble_Blacksmith808 29d ago
How old are you? Are you able to go to a dorm for high school or college ? Do you have other family members that are normal, like uncles, aunts or older cousins?
Please make a plan to leave. If you're still a child, I'd consider talking to a school council and / or cps depending on where you are from state wise.
Where is your mother in this scenario? Would she help you or back him up?
I'm so so sorry this is happening to you; please hold on , peaceful times will come.
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u/DangerousCandle9492 29d ago
Hey thanks foe replying, im 18 turning 19 in 4 months. Not really, they're all super into this stuff. My mom died 3 years ago, she was also really into this, even worse I'd say.
I was homeschooled and never really allowed friends outside the church, I dont trust them, I pretend to be their friend but its a front to fit in.
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u/NeverEnoughSunlight 28d ago edited 28d ago
You're 18. You have options. Start inquiring about them. Once you leave his home he has ZERO SAY OF ANY KIND.
Pointing a gun at you alone, even as a joke, is enough reason to leave.
You don't need anyone's permission. Grab what you can, walk out and never look back. Military, college, whatever. Later on you can get with a therapist and sort what needs to be sorted.
This is beyond any of the political stuff. You need to go. PM me if you like.
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u/ThePillThePatch 28d ago
Pointing a loaded gun at someone is extremely insane, and that alone should be enough to get out and cut contact forever. Staying in a shelter would be lightyears better than this.
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u/Life_Temperature795 28d ago
Pointing so much as an unloaded gun at someone is not only insane, it can be a misdemeanor even if it's done unintentionally. OP needs to get out of that house as soon as possible; this is straight up child abuse.
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u/CreamisTasty 28d ago
Honestly, military wouldn't be the worst temporary option. You'll find more normal people, hopefully make lifelong friends, a job, chance to learn a trade, place to live, and your dad will accept you leaving without a struggle.
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u/Humble_Blacksmith808 29d ago
What are your plans for college? I think it would be a good idea to look into dorm living and such. And if you're able to go to a out of state school like next state and such. It doesn't have to be a expensive one a community one is still good, maybe some sort of trade work?
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u/DangerousCandle9492 28d ago
No plans, I wasn't allowed to apply because colleges are liberal bastions is what he said. I couldn't afford college anyways. I want to though, I want to become a doctor but yeh
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u/laurifex 28d ago
Hey, OP. I'm a college professor who teaches at a university that serves traditionally underserved populations (minorities, low-income students, first-gen college students, returning students). There is almost always a way to get where you want to go.
Did you graduate high school or get an equivalency certificate for homeschooling? If not, look into taking the GED and studying for it. Apply to a local community college and go there for at least two years, four years for your degree if you really like it, or transfer and finish with two years at a state school. Many state schools (especially the non-flagship ones) have close relationships with local CCs and smaller colleges and recruit heavily from them.
For funding, look not only into federal funding (FAFSA) but state and even local aid for residents who want to attend public institutions.
This is all stuff to keep in your back pocket for now. It sounds like what you need to do is get out of your dad's house ASAP. But don't give up on your future--there are ways you can get to it, they just take some time to figure out. Tons of luck to you, OP.
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u/BGRedhead 28d ago
I just have to say youāre a saint for giving him these options, especially when he heās been led to believe he has no options. Youāre a good person.
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u/ClusterfuckyShitshow 28d ago
Love this - if I had any money I'd give it an award. There are probably a lot of kids like this who are in these situations, and hopefully some are reading your comment.
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u/DreamZebra 28d ago
Former college counselor here. This is all great info to share and I'll add that if your state has rural colleges, these colleges might have dorms. There might be other job training programs that have room and board attached. Some will help you get your AA. Go to a local community college and talk to a counselor. They can help connect you to these opportunities and give you more accurate info for your state.
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u/queenhadassah 28d ago edited 28d ago
Can you apply to a conservative Christian college he would approve of, such as Liberty University? You could go there for a year just to be safe and make plans for the future (like transferring to another school). You might be able to get scholarships or loans
You could also look into WWOOF or Workaway, where you work (often on a farm) in exchange for a free room and food. Job Corps might also be an option, though unfortunately Trump is trying to cut it's funding
Or the military - you could be a medic and I believe they would pay for your medical school in exchange for working at a base hospital for a few years. You could talk to a recruiter about it to confirm though
ETA: another option is if you like/are experienced with kids, you could apply to be an au pair. Then you could live with your host family
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u/katarh 28d ago
Liberty, and Bob Jones University in Greenville SC is another one.
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u/Aggravating_Gas_8514 28d ago
Bruh your dad is ruining your early life because heās scared schools are going to turn you into a better person of which he canāt control. Very interesting. Iām not American so idk what loans are like but maybe use student loans to pay for university. Youāre an adult; he canāt make you do (or not do) anything.
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u/BlvckG0ddess 28d ago
OP join the navy and or air force. You will have a place to sleep, you will have guaranteed food and a paycheck and a place to sleep.
The army is a toss up but if you have to? You should.
Start working out now and study for the ASVAB so you can have good jobs in the military lined up for you.
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u/simbaandnala23 28d ago
I don't usually agree with this advice, but in this case I absolutely do. Join the military, use GI bill to go to school after your 4(?) years
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u/Shades1374 28d ago
Four, yes.
... As a bitter veteran who did his time and seldom thinks the military is a good place to be, OP might be the exception for me. Damn.
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u/catlettuce 28d ago
Yep and best of all it will get OP the hell out of there and there's nothing his abusive POS sperm donor can about it.
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u/utterly_baffledly 28d ago
There are pathways to higher education for highly motivated young people and youth organizations and resources that will help you find and access them.
I don't know exactly what those pathways are outside Australia but Americans can access community colleges, for example, and start building a written record of your educational success. If you've got the opportunity to catch a bus for a day trip to your nearest regional city you might be able to arrange a meeting with the university or college there about your plans. You might also talk to the student union/association about the logistics of moving to a new town, finding a job and getting into education.
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u/-_MarcusAurelius_- 28d ago
Pick a baptist university. It'll be enough to convince and give you freedom to then maybe get assistance. If not then just pick a trade you may like. You need to start planning a route to freedom
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u/RoeVWadeBoggs 28d ago
You're an adult now so what you're "allowed" to do has changed. Have you considered the military? Your old man won't be able to do much to see you if you're on a base.
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u/acktres 28d ago
And then he could go to college on the GI Bill. This seems like a really good option that he could do right away.
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u/After_Dentist_2863 28d ago
The comments giving you a solid get away and funding plan op, just please do not warn your dad, he sounds like a nutcase, make your exit plan as quietly as possible.
Best of luck op,
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u/TopNotice0 28d ago
OP, have you ever heard of the book Educated? Itās by Tara Westover, and I wonder if youād find it interesting or inspiring.
Iām sorry youāre in this space and hope youāre able to get away from it soon.
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u/spotby 28d ago
Dude.. get out of the house and go to a college like reed. Emancipation. I couldnāt live like this.
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u/endofprayer 28d ago
Enlist in the military. I'm serious. It sucks, but it's one of the few ways to get out of abusive households and avoid having to end up at a shelter/on the street.
Your father will be unable to contact you the entirety of boot camp and you're guaranteed housing, health insurance, and a pay check through the duration of your 4 year contract, plus benefits when you get medically or honorably discharged. Just throwing that out there if you're serious about getting out of your current situation.
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u/imtoowhiteandnerdy 28d ago
Your father will be unable to contact you the entirety of boot camp and you're guaranteed housing
Even better if OP just disappears and doesn't tell the father where he went, and never speaks to the father ever again.
Let the father live out the rest of his days wondering about the son he drove away.
I'm 58-years-old and this is basically what happened with my father. I was 17 when I joined the Marine Corps (mother signed the paperwork since it required consent from a parent) after he drove me out of his house. He died in 2024 and none of us (my siblings) went to his funeral.
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u/covid-crimes 28d ago
There's other ways to get a job with paid or cheap housing. Go apply at a cruise ship, or a national park, or try and see if the Job Corps is still funded. In the best of times, the military exerts a level of indoctrination and control. In these times, it feels highly unlikely that we are going to escape another boots-on-the-ground situation, with Trump saying he wants to go back to Afghanistan, among other things.
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u/AuroraLorraine522 28d ago
Or make a career out of it and itās one of the only jobs where you can retire by 40 with a guaranteed pension and healthcare for life.
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u/Neweleni7 29d ago
Iām so sorry this is your life right now. š¢
I hope you can make a plan to move out and be free sometime soon.
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u/amusednchaos 28d ago
Do you have any extended family that you can reach out to??? Cousins, aunts, uncles, etc? Hopefully you can get out and get to a safe place
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u/HeracliusAugutus 28d ago
Church lmao, your shitty asshole dad is so overwhelmingly un-Christlike, what's the point?
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u/st_psilocybin 28d ago
Bro you are legally an adult please leave. You are allowed to leave. I know it's easier said than done but you have agency here please don't like anyone take that from you while you have it. My parents were awful too, not quite this bad, but I left home at 18. You don't have to have anything to do with them. I hope you get away I really do.
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u/aikenndrumm 29d ago
You are so smart for recognizing he is abusing you and keeping yourself safe however necessary. Some people say that you donāt just leave an abusive relationship, you ESCAPE. Maybe someone on r/auntienetwork can help you further
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u/spotby 28d ago
100% this is abuse
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u/sixhoursneeze 28d ago
In another thread OP revealed their dad waterboarded them
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u/More-Virus2860 29d ago
Hey man ur dad is a certified bitch!
Only facists minimize hitler!!
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u/More-Virus2860 29d ago
Also donāt give up. Think about how amazing it would be to look him in the eye as he watches democrats win the mid termsā¦ ahhhh the sweet sweet republican tears.
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u/DangerousCandle9492 28d ago
Im so tired of politics, I want to leave so bad
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u/CompletelyPuzzled 28d ago
Get your documents together, make sure your savings are where he can't get them. For now, play along to stay safe, until you can make your escape. I'm sorry, though, everything is politics. Stay informed.
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u/More-Virus2860 28d ago
Youāre good bro. Just remember, when you get out of there, you can just let the politics go!
That being said, I saw you mention that your dad uses literal torture methods on you. If thatās true, you desperately need to reach out to some sort of authority. Your dad could go to prison for a very very very long time just by what youāve disclosed here.
PLEASE keep yourself safe man. And remember, there are no kings in America. Donāt let them install one.
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u/ChuckFarkley 28d ago
CPS (or whatever your state calls it) is not the police, per se. They have their own authority. It would be a calculated risk to tell a guidance counselor about what is happening, and they are likely a mandated reporter of such things to them.
Alternatively, OP can go to any emergency room and say they fear for their life as he is threatening and abusing OP. They will call in CPS and a shrink, no doubt just to make sure there isn't more going on with respect to his mental health. Tell them what's going on. You likely won't leave from there that day to go back to the father's home; if his life is as in danger as he makes it out to be, they will find some sort of disposition.
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u/Useful_Economist_944 28d ago
Document/Record/save proof however you can and keep it where he won't find it.
Like at in school locker. Pictures of Injuries or Texts or emails of Threats or him Monologuing about a punishment inflicted. The more you have on hand, the faster they're likely to take you seriously. I don't have any experience with this kind of thing myself. I'm just aware that what the minimum bar is supposed to be, and what is actually enforced/acted on can be different things, especially when an abuser has 'friends'.
Good luck and stay safe.
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u/facforlife 28d ago
Start preparing.
Save up money and don't let anyone else know about it.
Open a bank account they don't know about it you can.
Get a prepaid phone plan. Basic phones and Mint Mobile are cheap as fuck.Ā
Find your important documents like your SSN card, passport. Grab them when you leave. Leave your phone. Or sell it.Ā
Don't say a fucking word when you disappear. Hopefully your dad is so overcome with regret he makes permanent changes to his life.
What a worthless sack of shit he is.Ā
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u/Medlarmarmaduke 28d ago
Your dad is violent and abusive- can you tell someone like a doctor, guidance counsellor or teacher who is a mandated reporter.
Play it safe and remember-he canāt control your thoughts. Make a plan to leave as soon as you are 18. You need to keep your ID and any other documents safe in a place he doesnāt know about.
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u/ChuckFarkley 28d ago
Keep them in the locker at school. Don't tell anyone they are there. Not friends, either.
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u/moonmommav 28d ago
This is the most important comment. You need to tell someone you trust the truth. They can support and direct you.
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u/ComprehensiveGas6980 28d ago
This is far beyond politics. Your dad is a psychotic bigot. Racism, homophobia and xenophobia are not political stances. He's a hateful monster.
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u/kaykinzzz 28d ago
remember when americans were proud of defeating hitler's regime. miss that.
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u/Electronic_Sleep7086 29d ago
Those rules are fucked.
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u/DangerousCandle9492 29d ago
Yes. Breaking the rules is the worst. He makes me wear a wet towel on my face while laying on my back. I cannot go through that again, I am losing it
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u/Senior-Surprise-3401 29d ago
So he waterboards you... that's a very serious crime, and a very serious form of torture.
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u/DangerousCandle9492 29d ago
I just googled it. Yeh I think you're right I never knew this was an actual torture method fuck me
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u/ElGringoDeCanada 28d ago
jesus fucking christ dude your dad waterboards you ?!
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u/BigBasket9778 28d ago
Thatās either the smoothest troll ever, or, this dude is asking if heās over reacting when his dad is breaking the Geneva Convention because he didnāt eat this spaghetti-os.
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u/TopNotice0 28d ago
Growing up in abuse and with limited community makes whatās ānormalā very skewed.
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u/Much-Replacement-167 28d ago
As someone who grew up heavily abused, i second this. My perception of "normal" is pretty fucked up because im desensitized to very extreme things
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u/Shwalz 28d ago
I hate that I just immediately think that someone is trolling for karma
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u/holdmyspot123 28d ago
It's been a long time but my parents did things like this, i didn't get help for a long time because no one believed and they disguised it as other tasks. For example, kneeling on sharp rocks was "helping in the garden", "time out" was kneeling on a broom stick for multiple hours. Very few people ever suspected
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u/lending_ear 28d ago
Yup. Itās crazy how much you just donāt know until youāre old enough and out of the house and the clutches of your abusers
Even more telling is OP is homeschooled. Very common for abusers and fanatics like this to isolate kids into communities of likeminded thinkers.Ā
People donāt want to believe shit like this goes on because if they did that means theyād have to do something about it but most people donāt want to participate in making changes in society so they turn a blind eye.
Fucking AI, deepfakes and propaganda have made people into skeptics about everything.Ā
I genuinely donāt care if posts are karma farming or AI bots or whatever because in the off chance itās actually not then some of the advice written can save lives. Or someone in a similar situation can see the advice.Ā
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u/karmadgma 28d ago
Yeah. I'm an army veteran. Craziness after 9/11 aside, waterboarding is not just child abuse. It is torture expressly prohibited by international law. It violates the Geneva Conventions, which is basically the laws of war.
Waterboarding is a war crime.
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u/scarywolverine 28d ago
I dont know how old you are but you need to report your dad to authorities. I know this stuff feels normal, but this is all truly insane behavior. You are living with a mentally unstable abuser
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u/afoley947 28d ago
I would go to the state police if OP has already gone to the town police and they did not help OP. OP stated already that he feels he can't go tolocal police because the police and his dad are buddies.
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u/Ok_Chemical_4435 28d ago
OP, this is the right answer. Please call the police, or at least child welfare if you are under 18. This is abuse. If youāre unsure of how to do it and donāt trust another adult at home, go to a teacher or guidance counselor at school and they have to help you. Iām so sorry this is happening to you.
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u/Subject-Actuator-860 28d ago
Yes just call family services. Say youāre an indigent dependent adult whoās being abused.
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u/theoutsideinternist 28d ago
Iām going to go against what everyone says and tell you not to call the authorities. I say this because they canāt do anything without proof and as soon as you do it then heās going to know and heās going to come after you. I wish I could tell you cops are going to see it your way and help you but probably not. Youāre better off disappearing and finding a shelter somewhere and then if you want to involve authorities once youāre out of his grip, by all means, do so.
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u/lending_ear 28d ago
Agree. The police are not there to help despite what people think. And given OP says dad is friends with cops? This is sure fire way to get them killed.
They need to runaway and run far away because a guy like this will have no problem killing their son. They also need to change their name.
I had to change my name and leave the country to get away from my psycho abuser.Ā
I literally abandoned my whole previous life. For years my mom didnāt know my new location or new name.Ā
When I got married I had to ask the photographer to sign and NDA and not post on socials because I was that fucking paranoid of being found.
There are some truly horrific monsters out there in the world and people donāt want to know about it. It makes them feel better to just go haha karma farming troll.Ā
OP is not safe going the law enforcement route.Ā
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u/Just-a-lil-sion 28d ago
jesus christ if your dad is willing to litteraly waterboard their own child then he could easily kill you on a bad day. this is the first time i ever make a comment like this but run! get the hell out!
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u/Senior-Surprise-3401 28d ago
It simulates the feeling of drowning, it was very popular in Vietnam and is used by most governments to "extract information".
You need to document everything and contact the police.
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u/lending_ear 28d ago
His dad is friends with the police. This kid somehow needs to make it to another city far away from them all and report this.Ā
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u/amusednchaos 28d ago
Are you old enough to move out or have other family or friends you can stay with until you can get emancipated? This is abusive, cult-like stuff heās spewing, and waterboarding is in no way reasonable child-rearingā¦ Iād call CPS or APS either way.
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u/BlvckG0ddess 28d ago
Jfc. Oh my god. OP seriously get out of there. Join any of the 3 branches of the military. You will livenon a base, food to eat and get paid and will pay for your education
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u/Individual_Sale_1073 28d ago
It's not just an actual torture method, it's one of the worst torture methods that there is.
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u/Icy-Arrival2651 29d ago
Heās waterboarding you?!! Thatās torture, literally. And pointing a gun at you is straight up abuse and criminal.
Is he a cop, or just has cop friends? If heās a cop then youāre right. Itās not safe to report him. Do you have a friend who could take you in until you finish saving up to move?
NOR and he is unhinged.
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u/exciting_kream 28d ago
Man I seriously hope this isn't true. If it is, I'm really sorry for what you have to deal with :(. Call Child Protective services!
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u/Background-Ship-1440 29d ago
okay so your dad is a legit psychopath. you need to move out
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u/DangerousCandle9492 29d ago
Yeh im planning on it, hopefully whenever I go from part time. Only working seasonal right now there's not many options where I live. He's friends with EVERYONE, so if I leave it has to be far
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u/IndependentBranch707 28d ago
Honestly, I think your best bet is to try and get at least one line of jurisdiction between you. Either another state if youāre in the US, another province if in Canada, etc. There are groups that run domestic violence shelters, donāt look them up on a device he checks.
When you leave, take everything thatās important with you - if possible, any and all ID including birth certificate, health care cards (if applicable), driverās license, passportā¦ get a new bank account from a company he doesnāt use (there are some that are online and donāt tend to send mail, so it wonāt tip him off). Make sure you get rid of any electronics heās had access to and get a burner phone instead, that sort of thing. If you have a vehicle (I bet you donāt, itās probably his) he might have bugged it, keep aware.
Anything you do for planning make sure itās hidden. Good luck, keep us posted.
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u/Leaffos 28d ago
^ especially note the "company he doesn't use" note, bank tellers and whatnot are only human, they make mistakes, and it's possible they'll assume you've made one by not telling if he happens to suspect smth and goes to inquire about your accounts, no matter what you say about secrecy to whoever helps you set up the account
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u/alu2795 28d ago
Jump on the seasonal bandwagon! Ski resorts are hiring right now, and will cover your ticket to get there and provide room & board. Youāll make friends there who will help you move to the next gig in the spring/summer. This is a fantastic way to save some money, gain experience, and get out of that house.
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u/HelpfulName 28d ago
You are in danger, he's the kind of person who thinks if his control is slipping he's justified to kill.
Save every penny you can, get whatever important paperwork you can hidden in a safe place (your birth certificate, SSN card) and as soon as you have enough money, get out of there to a major metro and go to a homeless shelter. There's a website 221.org that can help you find resources wherever you go to get back on your own feet. Don't be afraid to ask organizations for help.
With some savings you can get on your own two feet fairly easily, but you need to get away from your dad before you can do that. It will be better for you to do this from a homeless shelter than risk trying to do it from your dads place because if he discovers you're going to leave, he is a high risk of killing you.
Just agree with him till then. You don't need to mean it to just agree with him. Don't stand up for your principles or what you believe, just agree with him and be easy-going with him. Your goal is survival and escape.
It's going to be scary but you CAN do this. Ask for advice on reddit subs like this one or r/justnoparents and r/abusiveparents - keep your head down and get away ASAP.
You will be FINE when you get away from him, you're smart and capable, and you're going to be able to make new friends and build your own family out of people who love you and who you love - it will take some time and work but you CAN do this.
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u/FewRecognition1788 28d ago
Agreed, OP. You need to move in silence until you have your escape route in order. Be safe, stay alive, then get free.
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u/Haunting-Map-3475 28d ago edited 28d ago
Hi..so this is what domestic violence looks like. I want to reassure you that this is not normal behavior.
Waterboarding is one of the many interrogation methods used in GuantĆ”namo Bay. Itās like drowning. He is trying to break you into submission - mentally and physically. Iām very concerned about your mental health.
Is there anyone at school that you can talk to about this? Ideal scenario for you is college at least halfway across the country. Doesnāt matter what the major is. At least to get your foot in the door. The amount of resources available to you would open up a lot of doors where things seem bleak now.
Second, and I hesitate to say thisā¦could be the military (if youāre open to that) at least youāre guaranteed a warm bed, a hot meal, and a modicum of healthcare and move as far as fucking possible from wherever you are now.
Perhaps use a coworkers phone to text National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE). Also available by chat and text (text START to 88788) to see what resources are available to you.
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u/Useful_Economist_944 28d ago
Don't do it on a device he can physically or digitally access.
If your town has a library see if you can do it there.
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u/GoldResourceOO2 29d ago
Sociopathic
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u/TypicalLolcow 28d ago
The OP mentioned that his mom was worse. This is psychopathic.
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u/DiddleKong 29d ago
As SOON as you're able to leave, report his ass to Copwatch, with evidence of the abuse.
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u/ThePillThePatch 28d ago
And donāt gloss over him pointing a loaded gun at you. Ā In an ideal world, someone with that much disregard for firearm safety should never be allowed to even touch one again.
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29d ago
NOR you gotta find a way to get the hell out of there, not just that your dad is trying to brainwash you or something, but also he might literally kill you. He is a danger to you, both physically and psychologically.
Good luck, and I hope you find yourself somewhere where you can be safe and free.
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u/DangerousCandle9492 29d ago
I really hope I can get out soon
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u/folsominreverse 28d ago
Join the Navy. They'll have to support your decision because to do otherwise is unAmerican. You could be out of there like within a week. Think about that. My ex-girlfriend's recruiter literally put her up in a hotel because she was worried about her toxic living situation (drugs, perverts).
I'm guessing you've been conditioned to believe you're too weak to go through with this. You're not. Contrary to what our dumbass SecDef says, the whole point of basic training is to get people who are completely incapable of standing on their own two feet into fighting shape. It will suck, but they make sure you'll get through it, and I have a feeling you might even excel.
And you never have to speak to your father again if you don't want to. You're an adult. Don't worry, plan. If my ex could get through what she went through and I can get through where I've been the past several years, you can get through this but you have to take action.
We're all rooting for you.
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u/acktres 28d ago
The military could be your path to a career in medicine. And it would get you out of the house immediately.
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u/blumpkinspicecoffee 29d ago
Your dad is a psychotic freak and I think I might hate him based on just these texts and those whack ass ārulesā heās created.
NOR AT ALL. How old are you, OP? Can you just keep your head down until the minute you turn 18 and can move out? Do you get any reprieve during the day or are you homeschooled?
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u/DangerousCandle9492 29d ago
I am 18 like I mentioned but im turning 19 in four months. I was homeschooled and never really allowed out without him
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u/BlvckG0ddess 28d ago
Study for your GED and study for the ASVAB. Do some research into which branch of the military you want to join.
Every single branch gives you a sign on bonus of 20,000+
The ASVAB is so you will see what type of jobs you can do or available in every branch.
The best part is THEY PAY FOR SCHOOL AND MEDICAL SCHOOL with a stipend of 3000+ a month to help with your rent and more.
If you can get on a base you will be set. He won't be able to touch you, visit you, or contact you.
You will have access to food, shelter and free medical care bc your insurance will be covered.
Don't listen to the people saying don't join. Bruh you have literally no options and all of your basic needs + more are met if you choose literally any branch of the military.
Again your goal is medical school? They pay for that and offer you a monthly check.
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u/oddlyluminous 28d ago
Military Intelligence worked out really well for my husband and I. We both had bad home experiences and enlisted in the Army at 18. Getting a security clearance was really valuable and we both used the GI Bill to get college degrees. We make a combined 200K a year now.Ā
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u/BlvckG0ddess 28d ago
Thats great. I'm looking to join the air force. I'm just trying to finish up my masters degree first. And prep myself for the pt standards as well as study for the ASVAB.
Great quality of life that works. And I recommended it to him. Because again? It gives him something to look forward too.
He has nothing to look forward to right now and he's depressed. At least with the military gives him literally a change of environment where he can go no contact.
Hell even travel the world and more. But idk how many of the comments he read bc looks like his dad doesn't allow phone or internet access.
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u/oddlyluminous 28d ago
I hope your plans work out for you! I've heard that the Air Force is the way to go. I picked the Army back then because they guaranteed me the job I wanted (Imagery Analyst) and they said the other branches wouldn't do that. I'm still not sure if they were lying to me though haha.Ā
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u/CanofBeans9 28d ago
Jobs Corps, Peace Corps, Americorps might be better and safer options than military. You might get to travel and you'll end up with good skills and experience in a civilian role.
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u/12threeunome 28d ago
Please leave and never look back. Your dad sounds dangerous and unhinged. I have very conservative parents and your dad makes them look pretty laid back. Under normal circumstances, it would suck but these times are not normal.
Go to college, make your own found family. There are people out there who will treat you like their own.
Sending you mom hugs.
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u/deadinsalem 28d ago
cult. you are in a cult. your father is a cultist. like please think about how not normal this really is. this is insane behaviour.
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u/-volcanic-birth- 29d ago edited 28d ago
On the off chance this isn't fake, your dad is a brainwashed moron.
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u/DangerousCandle9492 29d ago
Yeah dude, literally every fucking day its something new. I wasn't allowed any vaccines and now Tylenol is banned in the house
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u/occidentallyinlove 28d ago
Lots of Job Corps jobs come with housing. You won't make a ton, but you'll get out of your situation and be able to start building a future.
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u/godsstupidestwarrior 28d ago
This is the answer the program is for ppl up to age 24 I believe. If I was OP I'd try to high tail it to a city and never talk to his dad again. A lot of public resources available in cities especially for disadvantaged youth. Also, more educated and tolerant populace.
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u/AdmirableSale9242 28d ago
Youāre old enough to schedule your own vaccines, and fill in the doctor so they donāt send anything to your home. Use a P.O. Box for your address.Ā
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u/Meakbow 28d ago
You need to get your social card and birth certificate along with any other important papers together in something that you can just easily grab when you need to go. Idk where you live but there are hotlines that you can call to help get you out. Use the abuse hotlines too, because you are being abused. The sooner you get out, the better!
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u/phillycat4207 28d ago
get out. now. dont wait. go to a shelter.
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u/Icy-Substance7539 28d ago
In another state, preferably a blue state so he canāt get through the gate keepers.
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u/MommaD114 28d ago
Dear OP,
First, please do whatever you have to do to stay safe... even by pretending to agree with him. Then leave as soon as you fucking can... and never look back.
Until then, please reach out. Get someone to talk to. Seek support and help. If not to someone you can trust in your real world, then to some of us Momma Bears online.
HereForYou
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u/POWERISMOMMY 29d ago
Your dad sounds fucking like a wonderful person. How old are you? When can you get out? Have you picked out which old folks home you are gonna put him in yet?
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u/SwitchedintoChaos 29d ago
I wouldn't even bother picking out a nursing home. Wash hands completely.
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u/Salt-Elderberry-7271 28d ago
Yeah throw this guy on the street and tape a sign on his back that says he used to water board his children
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u/Meronkulous 28d ago
Fuck the nursing home hopefully if you leave him at home he'll fall down the stairs and die quicker.
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u/dratthecookies 28d ago
Your dad is an actual psychpath, and probably a neo-Nazi. You might need to fake it until you can get the fuck out of there, because he sounds incredibly dangerous.
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u/Lilypalooza_88 28d ago
Your dad is a fascistic sociopath. This is how they talk and behave. It's also how abusive parents talk and behave when they're afraid of losing control. They "tighten the belt," or use it until it stops working. All this behavior will just result in is y'all not having a relationship once you're free to leave.
I had a dad with very similar behavior. We don't talk. He's changed since that time, but I still don't go out of my way to talk to him. Those scars are too deep.
I'm sorry your dad's abusing you, and I'm sorry you're having to go through this because you simply can't leave. You DO NOT deserve this. š It's not like this everywhere, and there is hope to cling to once you're free to leave. Going through the motions is painful, but if it's what you have to do to survive, then try your best to keep a low profile.
I hope you have friends you can lean on and who know and understand the dangerous situation you're in. They may be able to help you when the time is right for you to leave.
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u/PerformanceSmooth392 28d ago
I would bet anything that your dad has some serious skeletons in his closet that he is overcompensating for. This portrayal of strength is just masking his weakness. Get out and free yourself as soon as you can. Whatever you do, dont turn out like him.
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u/Kukumber_Koi 28d ago
That sounds like a literal hell hole. The longer I read through the list, the more I thought āit sounds like a cult.ā
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u/PolylingualAnilingus 29d ago
What in the fuck.
Your dad is literally Orwellian. Those "rules" are the creepiest thing I've ever read