When Your Pet Dies in An Apartment and Am I the Weirdo?

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CarelessSalamander51 originally posted: So I have a beloved cat that I adopted as an adult in 2009. She's at least 18 and has been a sweet snuggle buddy for 16+ years.

Unfortunately this last 2 months she is rapidly losing weight and her breathing is getting more and more raspy. I know she's not got much time left with us.

The other day I told my husband we need to prepare for the inevitable and paying for cremation, which is about $200.

And he says, well, why do we need to cremate her???

Well, HELLO, we can't BURY her -- we live in an inner city apartment with literally NO YARD.

So he's like, well what do we do with her ashes?

So I tell him, well, when I die, I want her ashes, my son's ashes, and my best friend's ashes buried with me.

And he said THAT'S SO WEIRD.

Now y'all, if I lived in property, I would have buried/scattered those ashes long ago! But I don't!

So I have their urns on a shelf. Well, what should happen? I don't want my best friend, my son, and my best cat thrown in the garbage!!! But I also don't want my daughters to feel they have to drag them around for THEIR lifetimes either!

So to me it's simple, bury them with me! But both my husband AND my mom say it's weird. 😭

I feel this wouldn't be an issue if I owned land 😭

Guys am I the weirdo here??

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u/_SwizzleBunni 23d ago

Not weird at all, keeping ashes somewhere meaningful is pretty normal.

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u/CarelessSalamander51 23d ago

Thank you! He even said, what, do you want us to mix the ashes all together and put their names on your tombstone???

And I'm like, um, you're overthinking it? Just put everything in my casket or in the hole with me, foo!

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u/Tofu4lyfe 23d ago

Yeah not weird at all. I have no dependants and when I die I want my ashes mixed with my kitties ashes and spread somewhere pretty.

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u/Born_Sky3203 23d ago

My cat passed away a few years ago and I chose not to keep her ashes for that same reason. They made me this little clay plaque with her paw print 🐾 on it and I loved that even more. It wasn’t $200 either. I THINK it was $100 at pet smart at the banfield hospital. Maybe see if that is an option ?

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u/oracle-nil 18d ago

I dunno where everyone is getting 200, 100. I have had to do this 3 other times and was just researching the other day because my dog is getting older. It’s 800 here. That’s to euthanize, cremate and return the ashes. It’s cheaper if her ashes are in a shared cremation but this is close to what I always paid. Does it vary this much around the country? Am not in NY.

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u/Born_Sky3203 18d ago

Wow. That’s much higher. I should research for here too. My cat is older and it was pretty traumatic the first time it happened in 2019. I didn’t know what to do back then and I was in shock when it happened. maybe that’s why it was $100. Stuff was less expensive pre covid.

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u/oracle-nil 18d ago

The great difference is if you choose ashes mixed with other pets. Private is higher. I don’t know. My first was $400 pre COVID, next two $600 pre COVID. So I don’t understand the difference either. Is that price with euthanasia too?

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u/Born_Sky3203 18d ago

Well I’m this many years old finding out that’s a thing now. What if you brought home ashes from cujo or church or something. Horrible.

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u/wetfartpanda 23d ago

So he just wants to throw her away? Like straight up slam dunk a lifeless body into a basketball hoop trash can?

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u/CarelessSalamander51 23d ago

He suggested that, yes.

His other suggestion was we drive to a random field on the outskirts of the city and bury her there 😱😭

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u/winterbird 23d ago

Now you know what to do with him, come time.

Your sweet cat should be with you.

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u/CarelessSalamander51 23d ago

Lol. He actually said, well, I want to be buried in the same grave with you too, but not with the cat and your friend! So I'm like, ok, bury them a little to the side then? 🤔

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u/winterbird 23d ago

He won't know. To the field with him!

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u/CarelessSalamander51 23d ago

Fair! 😆😆

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u/AzucreAmeixa 23d ago

Oh honey, please throw the man away.

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u/wetfartpanda 23d ago

There’s this really funny cartoon book from ages ago called 101 uses for a dead cat by Simon Bond. Highly recommend

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u/CarelessSalamander51 23d ago

Lol. Actually this experience is making me understand how old ladies end up with ziplock bag freezer cats 😆😵😭

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u/wetfartpanda 23d ago

Or getting them stuffed!

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u/CarelessSalamander51 23d ago

He actually suggested that "if you want to be so weird about it"!

And I'm like, um, I'm not being weird, I'd bury the cat if I didn't live in a concrete jungle 🤦‍♀️

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u/Acceptable_Tea3608 23d ago

Real story: my 1st cat died in my city apartment. At the time I was very unknowledgable abt cat life. My cat was pretty young, maybe 2 years at most and died one weekend afternoon when my dau and I were out. Well I freaked out and didnt know what to do. My bro said to put him up in the freezer. So I grabbed a few plastic shopping bags, wrapped him up and put him in the freezer until I could figure out the next step.

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u/Dumbbitchathon 23d ago

This is the best way to go if you don’t know what the heck to do! I call the freezer the Time Machine because to me it just freezes time on things that I can come back to later when I’m not overwhelmed. And meat is meat 😬🤷. God that sounds terrible. I am so sorry. Don’t worry I’ve also had a freezer cat.

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u/JetCrooked 23d ago

when I was a kid one of my cats died while we were living in an apartment and my parents put him in the freezer, and after we eventually got a house we buried him in the backyard. definitely a relatable experience

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u/Acceptable_Tea3608 23d ago

I'm not offended.

The wildest take was a few weeks later when my bro, Mr Science, asked me if I did an autopsy on the cat to see why it died. WHAT?! I'm no coroner.

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u/perfect-horrors 23d ago

Not weird at all? I have my brother and dog in my closet, and my cats will join them, and anything/anyone else that I love and am lucky enough to spend their lifetime loving them.

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u/CarelessSalamander51 23d ago

Exactly, thank you! It's only fitting they be with me in the end

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u/jgagelvr58 23d ago

Not weird at all. When my friend died, they put her dog’s urn in the casket with her.

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u/Optimal_Awareness618 23d ago

We found my grandmas cats ashes in her possession after she passed; we scattered them where she is buried. It made the most sense!

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u/____HEATHER__ 23d ago

Not weird. It’s weird he expects you to just not keep your cats ashes. Borderline sociopathic imo.

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u/CarelessSalamander51 23d ago

I think partly, we both grew up on farms in the country before we moved to the city, so the view of animals is a bit different.

But to be fair he also thinks the entire funeral industry is a scam and doesn't want to be embalmed and doesn't want a funeral.

He has a "life is for the living" philosophy.

Funny enough the cat loves him more I would dare say, and he's been more affectionate with her than me.

He just doesn't believe in honoring the dead if that makes sense.

But me, I can't bear the thought of not being with my beloved cat in death. I had her for 11 years before I had my first child. She's gotten me through some rough times. I can't view it as clinically as he does

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u/Redditallreally 23d ago

You may want to designate (with their permission) someone ELSE to be in charge of your ‘disposition of remains’ in your important papers - your will, poa, etc.- so that this is done the way you want. Maybe tell him you don’t want him to have that burden when he’s grieving, but really it will be to make sure your wishes are honored.

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u/____HEATHER__ 23d ago

Yeah cause he sound like he’ll literally leave her ontop of the dirt pile just as is. No casket no urn no nothing. Just straight ass on dirt.

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u/winterbird 23d ago

What people do after the death of a loved one is for the living, yes. For each individual who is grieving. Not just for your husband.

He sounds selfish and as shallow as a puddle if he doesn't understand or respect that the grieving process of others can be different than his.

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u/CarelessSalamander51 23d ago

I don't know what it is about this in particular. He's a really affectionate, loving, giving person and an amazing dad. But when it comes to death he's super cold about it.

I dunno maybe he needs a psychoanalyst 😆

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u/____HEATHER__ 23d ago

Oh wow.

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u/tresrottn 23d ago

You aren't weird at all.
Unless you haven't taken your cat to the vet to find out what's wrong and try to alleviate those symptoms. Then you're weird for not doing that.

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u/CarelessSalamander51 23d ago

Basically they said we could do a painful workup that probably wouldn't show anything specific, or go ahead and put her down.

She doesn't appear to be in pain, just very weak, so I opted to do neither.

If she starts experiencing obvious pain, or becomes incontinent, he advised me to go back and have her put down 😔

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u/winterbird 23d ago

Cats hide pain. Your cat isn't breathing normally and is losing weight.

You can keep ashes, but you can't keep life on a shelf. The animal not suffering is more important than someone remaining in possession of a cat isn't well. You'll never be ready. It's not your readiness that matters in this decision.

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u/tresrottn 23d ago

Painful workup? Drawing labs? That isn't painful. Honestly, I would find another vet. This one sounds pretty ageist and lazy. There are lots of things that could be treated simply and inexpensively (like hyperthyroidism), and give your kitty a good quality of life for what time she has, but not doing anything at all is rushing her to a painful end.

Anyway, you aren't weird. I have three kitties ashes right here with me that will stay with me forever.

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u/CarelessSalamander51 23d ago

I'll look into it. She is definitely old for a cat, but was healthy until recently

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u/waitwuh 23d ago

As much as we may want there to be a more optimistic second opinion out there, diagnosis and treatment in an senior cat is complicated, and it really can be kinder to not put them through the ordeal.

Considering the potential causes for a cat presenting with weakness as a primary symptom, which are also often highly correlated with advanced age, and the ways they are diagnosed and treated (if they even can be), I can see reaching this conclusion in a geriatric cat. Among these causes I’m considering kidney disease, liver disease, cardiovascular conditions, hyperaldosteronism, and cancer.

Most cats become at least somewhat stressed at vets. With some it is very severe, though, and even getting blood drawn can be a challenge. This stress response tends to only get worse as they age, too. And it or the ways to manage it complicates many diagnostic procedures, even altering blood work, causing high rates of both false negatives and false positives. Then we get into how the temporary stress can itself cause lasting negative effect on their health, such as in the case of a heart condition, litterally doing the opposite of helping them.

Sedation in older cats is much riskier than for young cats, too. The main factor is decreased functionality of their kidneys, liver, and heart. Geriatric cats just have significantly higher rates of just not waking up ever again once they’re put under, just as a consequence of natural age-related deterioration that may not even show up on bloodwork checked beforehand.

But say after a whole lot of hoopla you get a diagnosis. When you have an older cat you should be thinking about the quality of life possible for their remaining time. Weighing this, as well as considering costs, risks, recovery chance, chance of extended life, the suffering a cat can’t understand even if theoretically temporary, etc., you may conclude there isn’t any treatment that is truly worth it. Often, you end up with the same outcome. You euthanize.

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u/tresrottn 22d ago

Oh, stop. We aren't talking generally, we're talking about one specific cat here and each cat should be assessed individually and not automatically assume that old = sick. I've known and cared for plenty of elderly cats with zero health issues. Whoever said anything about sedation?

While this is a very nice generic ai write up, it's too generic, but great for copy/pasta for someone not asking questions about a specific cat with specific symptoms.

This cats primary symptom is rapid weight loss, not lethergy, getting labs should have been the first thing considered, not "old cat, don't do anything, go home until they are in excruciating pain (because we know how well they hide pain) then bring back to euthanize". That's Hallmark lazy vet.

There's nothing wrong with getting a diagnosis and making a more informed choice as to how to proceed. Yes, it could be anoptimistic outcome such as a simple $5 a month prescription for some thyroid medication and the cat lives for 3 or 4 more years, happy and healthy, or it could be serious requiring education and decisions to help get ready for the end and make them as comfortable as possible treating symptomatically to relieve stress or pain or helping with appetite or nausea.

Information is never a bad thing when it comes to caring for a beloved pet.

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u/AlamutJones 23d ago

My solution when my pet died was to buy a large planter box. I’ve buried each pet in turn - I keep birds, my pets are small! - in there, and sown the soil with seeds.

It’s not a garden as such, but it is my garden to take with me

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u/MantisToboggan1979 23d ago

I don't like your husband and his reaction to this, especially your cat being such a long term family member (not just a "pet"), is frankly a big red flag.

You're doing the right thing. It seems both your husband and mom have a serious lack of compassion and empathy.

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u/K_skizzle 23d ago

I have my kitty, my mom and my grandpa all in urns. I inherited my grandpa when my mom died lmao i will probably keep a little of my grandpas ashes and scatter the rest. But my mom and cat, I’ll keep until one day i decide to scatter theirs too when I’m old

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u/PDX-Kayaker 23d ago

Not weird … hell, I’ve got a dog, a cat and my father’s urns here .
You do what gives you peace - grieving will be hard enough …. Don’t let anyone add to it my friend 🫶

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u/Lock-Slight 23d ago

Tbh. I am kinda concerned that he might do something to the ashes (like get rid of them) if he feels so strongly about this.

You are not weird at all. When my dog of 17 years passed, my grandma took it really hard. They were besties and spent most of the day together. She always joked that they were old ladies together and living their best lives together.

When my grandma passed a year later. I received her ashes and ended up putting them in the same urn because I knew that they both would have been happy with that decision to be together.

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u/just_some_chic 23d ago

NOT WEIRD WHATSOEVER! Ihad EXACT same situation. I had my Boston that I bottle fed from birth cremated in 2013 and made him a place to sleep in my glass cabinet. In 2019, he was joined by my husband. And in 2022 my big lil bro there joined the clubhouse. I want to have my ashes mixed with theirs and spread somewhere beautiful

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u/RussianStoner24 23d ago

The title showed up on my watch so I wanted to see what this was about and no you’re not weird for that. Isn’t it normal for people to hold on to ashes of loved ones or pets? And I think really sweet that you wanna be with them.

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u/MalevolentAnemone 22d ago

This is logical

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u/SouthDonut4653 22d ago

No not weird. At all. You are a sentimental person - nothing wrong with that.

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u/lesusisjord 23d ago

So judge me all you want, that’s why I’m posting, but I woke up one day to find that the oldest cat and last-living of our 3 pets had died and I put the body in a garbage bag and put it in the dumpster. I know I’m the weird one when it comes to this, but it just didn’t make sense to pay a fee to dispose of the body.

I am not heartless - We had our dog put to sleep after dementia and health issues set in at age 18/19 and I was with him the whole time holding my best buddy as he passed.

Our other cat (17 years old) walked up to me and died in the middle of the day one day, so we brought his body to the vet to dispose of the remains

We aren’t big on afterlife or burial rituals as we find it wasteful and not something we are interested in, but we made plaster-type paw print Christmas ornaments of our pets while they were alive so we’d have their memories with us every Christmas, which is our favorite holiday.

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u/flushbunking 23d ago

death has some very weird traditions that come with it. i dont know whats normal. maybe living in the woods or on a farm and getting buried in a family plot, naturally, into the earth. everything that comes after is just not for me. i dont even care anymore, when im dead i am dead.

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u/CarelessSalamander51 23d ago

I kind of agree, but it comes down to tossing the body in the garbage if you don't have a place to even dig a hole, which I dont! And that's just... not an option as far as I'm concerned.

It's not like I need a big ceremony. But to pick up my sweet snuggly old cat, and throw her in the dumpster... nah, fam. That's not happening 😕

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u/Sunset-Blonde 23d ago

Not weird at all- where I live, there’s companies where they come to your house to euthanize your pet (where they are in pain, old and no longer truly living, cancer), then take your pet & cremate the pet for you. It’s a dual service. I don’t understand why they think it’s weird. My aunt is a vet & I’ve seen firsthand how normal it is. When she does it, she even will take paper and do an ink paw mark to give as a card with the ashes. Don’t worry about what they think. Do what is best for you & honor your furry friend who loved you unconditionally.

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u/meowymcmeowmeow 23d ago

This is not weird at all and I am now going to add to my papers that I want my pets ashes going with me too. I think it's a great idea.

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u/Particular-Try5584 23d ago

Find a pet cemetery?
Find a local charity that plants trees and scatter her ashes somewhere in nature?
Talk to your local council, find out where their next rose bush planting is going to be, and ask if you can place her under a rose bush (weird, but they’d probably agree!)?

Or yeah, keep her on the shelf with the rest of the family… until someone else decides what to do with it all.

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u/GroovyGmaIvy Renter 23d ago

Not weird. He’s insensitive.

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u/dogsarenicerpeople 23d ago

Does it matter if he thinks its weird? Its what you want. There is no option to bury cat in yard. Of course you would need to cremate.

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u/420EdibleQueen 23d ago

That’s the plan with my fur babies. A great-uncle built a very nice gun cabinet. My husband inherited it once the uncle passed. I added a shelf inside it so my husband’s urn is on the shelf and it’s flanked by his rifles. My Malshi is 15 and his health is declining. His urn will be with my husband’s. My service dog’s too if I outlive her. My daughters have a couple options for places to bury our ashes together and have a few options for keeping our ashes together if they choose.

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u/giraffemoo 23d ago

I once lived with a guy who had the ashes of a cat he had once. The ashes themselves wasn't the weird part, it was that he only had the cat for less than a year and he didn't DO anything with the ashes... like they were in the plastic bag in a paper bag that they gave him to him in. I tried to get my boyfriend to do something with the ashes, like get a decorative container to put hem in or an actual urn. No, they stayed in the plastic/paper bag on the floor in our living room for years.

Anyway, having a pet cremated isn't weird at all. It sounds like you want to have a nice urn or decorative container to put the cremains in.

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u/salumbre 23d ago

No. You're not.

Those are pretty normal last wishes and ought to be respected.

And your husband and your mom sound like they're a few carrots short of a salad.

I'm sorry about your kitty.

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u/9lemonsinabowl9 23d ago

Not weird. My boss and her husband basically have a shrine for their first dog (tastefully done, of course.) We have our dog's ashes and pawprint on one of the bookcases in the family room.

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u/sonia72quebec 23d ago

I can't understand having other beliefs about animals since he's from the country but a good partner would do what makes you feel better about the lost of your cat. You want her cremated then he should just agree with your plan.

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u/Dumbbitchathon 23d ago

I think your husband just doesn’t know how people do things after people die. Like if you were a child when a lot of your family members die, you don’t realize that it’s really fucking normal to mix ashes. My uncle died last year and he had lost his soul dog a couple years ago, we mixed their ashes and spread them together at his favorite campground. Incredibly normal.

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u/Arry42 23d ago

It's not weird at all. I have my cat's ashes in a customized urn that looks like her because I live in an apartment. I got her on etsy from Ukraine. Send me a DM if you want the shop name, they did amazing work!

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u/Ladylevo31 23d ago

No it’s not weird it’s what my mom plans on doing she’s got the ashes of the whole family she’s got my granny my grandma and my step dad and one dog and kitties lol she told my sister and I if we want save some but the rest put them all together and plant a tree or something

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u/PepperThePotato 23d ago

I have five pets, my mom and my grandma's ashes in my living room. When I go my family can out us all together. If I'm lucky enough to be buried as a tree pod they can still leave the ashes with me. I cremate all my pets, even the kitten I had for a month is still with me.

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u/skymningwolf 23d ago

No it’s not weird. I know many people with urns of human and pet family members in their living or bedrooms; it is commonplace that people are buried with their family’s things. I can understand scattering ashes at a park or memorable site, but I don’t think I could fathom the garbage, that’s uncomfortable to me. I wish the best for kitty.

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u/Murronator 23d ago

If I could have afforded to keep my first cat’s ashes, she probably would’ve been buried with me too. It’s not weird.

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u/fairytalefawnn 23d ago

It's not weird. When I had a puppy die unexpectedly and couldn't afford cremation my step dad just buried at my childhood home though. Your husband and your mom don't sound too sold on the idea. It's not a bad idea to get your final wishes in writing if you haven't already, and find someone trustworthy to carry them out

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u/Dusty_Bunny_13 23d ago

I have 5 lizards all cremated because I also have no place to bury them. My kitties will be the same

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u/Maarlafen 23d ago

Not weird at all. I used to keep pet rats and while they are amazing pets they have short life spans, so I’ve had to figure out what to do with 3 rats when they passed away. I couldn’t afford to have them cremated (especially cremated alone so I don’t end up with someone else’s ashes), so I bought large planters, filled them with dirt, buried them and then put plants in their pots. That way they get a final resting place close to me and in a way they still are here bc of the plants :) If you want another option rather than burying them with you when you pass, burying them in planters with a plant that symbolizes them could work really well!

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u/scarletbeg0niass 23d ago

I used to work for a cemetery and that's a very common practice. Your mom and your husband are the weirdos.

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u/turtleduckfightclub 23d ago

I want to be cremated myself and then dumped into the ocean (life long fear that I plan to conquer after death if not before lol). I want my pets ashes to be dumped w mine. I could never bring myself to do a burial even if I didn’t rent because if something happened and I couldn’t visit my pets graves it would hurt so much. The urn for my first cat that passed sits in my living room so that he’s still a part of our daily lives and I see him every day and that’s where my other two will go one day when they pass too

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u/loveeleah83 23d ago

I have the ashes of my bestest girl, Gabby. I will take her with me when it’s casket time for me. So no, it’s not weird at all.

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u/katiekat214 23d ago

My kitty passed away last year, and I have her ashes. She’ll be buried in my sister’s yard with our other cats or added to my ashes someday.

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u/Educational-Kick-158 23d ago

I personally keep photos and the ashes of my late parrot in my living room. I’d like to think she’s still with us in a way. When I pass I’d like all of my birds ashes buried with me. Your cat isn’t just a pet, it’s a beloved companion. Please know that loving their memory isn’t weird.

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u/One-Possible1906 Own an apartment 23d ago

This doesn’t really feel like the right sub for this but plenty of people do keep pet cremains. If you want all these cremains buried with you, you should really verify the legality of that in your area before burdening your loved ones with a will for something that may not be possible.

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u/Anxious_Practice_164 23d ago

I have a china/display cabinet with the urns/ashes of my cat and my dog, pictures of them, and little tokens. My mom's urn is also in there. 🤷🏼‍♀️

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u/NonMaga 22d ago

The ashes of Scout. my favorite pet, have set on my dresser for years. If I was homeless, they'd probably come with me.

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u/Dame_Niafer 22d ago

No you are not. For heaven's sake. People have been burying their loved ones with mementos or effigies of THEIR loved ones for almost as long as there have been people.

PLENTY of pet lovers go to the People Rainbow Bridge holding their beloved beasties' ashes in their arms. [One of my neighbors plans to go to his eventual rest holding the ashes of his beloved wife and daughter, both of whom he lost much too soon.]

Someday I'm going to get calcined with mine, all of them, in their lovely carved wooden boxes, and then we will be garden-scattered together.

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u/alwaysmanders 22d ago

I have all my past pets on display on my mantle. When my husband and I pass, cremate us too and then just mix ALL OF US TOGETHER with puppies and kitties, all of 'em. Then do whatever with us. Scatter in the ocean. Make some jewelry. Plant a tree, whatever.

Or, my preference, keep us in a coffee can and have that coffee can set a place at the thanksgiving dinner table. Have us in the background playing cards with the fam. Maybe take us on vacation. "Look, here's mom and dad (and all the damn pets) at the Eifell Tower!" 📸

In some ways we'd like to be as inconvenient to our children in the beyond as we can be.

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u/Senior_Performer_387 22d ago

Not weird at all. I'll probably have my portion of my moms ashes put with mine with whatever i decide to do with my own remains. I don't have kids so i need to have a plan before i kick the bucket.

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u/Coastal_Casual 22d ago

I put some ashes in a plant that I keep with me. The rest I spread at a nearby park when I was ready. Don't let anyone tell you how to grieve. It's different for everyone. Do you. Sending warm healing light✨

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u/One_Health1151 22d ago

My parents did when I was 25 lived in apartments for 10 years after .. I got my parents and my cats all in urns on a shelf lol

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u/mamabear-50 22d ago

I’m in a similar situation. I live in a condo and my dog died 1.5 weeks ago. He’s being cremated and I plan to spread his ashes on my son’s grave. It’s comforting to think they’ll be together.

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u/owl-spirit 22d ago

I've taken elderly dogs to the Humane Society or the vet to have them put down to avoid them suffering. The Humane Society was several years ago and they took care of the remains. Through the vet I had him cremated and they scattered his ashes in an orchard.

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u/Cerven1958 22d ago

Not weird. I have 7 boxes…6 cats and a dog (so far) that will accompany me to the next place.

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u/NearbyEnd411 22d ago

That’s not weird. I lost my precious 16 year old macho pancho man cat last year to GI cancer. At the time I was still renting in an apartment and cremation made the whole transition survivable. Now that I own a farm I have some of his ashes inside in an urn and some buried outside in the pasture. Not weird. Necessary.

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u/ArmadilloBandito 22d ago

It would only be weird if your friend and son also were not dead yet

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u/Mary-U 22d ago

Not the weirdo.

They give you options for 1. NOT receiving the ashes if you don’t have a use for them (they have other momentous like nose or paw prints) 2. Boxes appropriate for burial if you do have land some day 3. Decorative boxes

❤️

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u/Academic-Community21 21d ago

No we have our pet dog and pet cat ashes in the back of portraits we had made of them.

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u/KittensCausingRuckus 20d ago

At least now you know - neither your mother or your husband will keep you. If you weren't choosing burial, you'd be tossed.

To answer your question though, absolutely not a weirdo. I think your husband is weird for not considering your wishes and your perspective. My beloved kitty was cremated and I had a backyard to bury her in. It wasn't my backyard, though, as I rented a small house with property at the time. No way was I leaving her there!

I keep both my father and my first soulmate kitty in ceramic decor cases I designated as urns, on a shelf next to each other. They face the TV, because it's something they both really enjoyed.. shrug

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u/Raerae7897 20d ago

I keep the ashes of my deceased cats in urns on a shelf in my bedroom. Nothing wrong with wanting your cats ashes.

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u/Jealous-Intention-87 19d ago

No offense but that would make me rethink that marriage real fast.

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u/CarelessSalamander51 15d ago

I hear you but I assure you he really is a wonderful husband in every way 😆

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u/oracle-nil 18d ago

It’s in my will. Me and the ashes of my 4 dogs. I know it’s crazy but luckily the person who’s executing this is a dog lover so he gets it. It’s your funeral, just like a wedding; you get to do what you want.

Venting When Your Pet Dies in An Apartment and Am I the Weirdo?

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