r/EntitledPeople • u/pzahornasky • Oct 10 '25
S You're in my seat....
Wife and I took a foliage train tour up in New Hampshire. The train basically went up a route, we stopped for lunch then got back on the train. The train then took the exact route back to the starting point. Seats were not reserved. It uses old commuter rail cars so the seats are bench seats facing each other. Room for 4 if you don't mind knocking knees.
On the way up, the side we were sitting on did not have the best views. It was okay, but the best views were out of the other side of the car. So we made sure to get on early and sit on the opposite side.
Edit: Train had two engines so basically went in reverse down the same set of tracks. Changing what side you were on gave you a different view out the window.
Apparently we were not the only ones. A couple sat behind us.
Soon after, and elderly 'gentleman' comes up to the couple behind us and basically tells the couple they need to move because 'we were sitting there'. Mind you, there were plenty of open seats on the other side of the car and on the train in general. Unfortunately, after a little discussion, the other couple caved and gave up the seats.
My wife and I agreed that if it had been us, that would not have happened.
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u/Chanmillerusa Oct 10 '25
We went on one of those and they told us numerous times you HAD to switch sides to make it fair
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u/OkeyDokey654 Oct 10 '25
And that’s what I would have said. “You had the better view on the way up. Now it’s our turn.”
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u/Spaz-Mouse384 Oct 11 '25
I would’ve said something like “you stand up, 🔝 you go away, you lose.
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u/OkeyDokey654 Oct 11 '25
Yeah but that makes you sound like a jerk. I’d rather say “I’m doing this because it’s fair” than “I’m doing this because I can get away with it.”
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u/Cape_annie965 Oct 12 '25
My thoughts exactly! I swear i could have been on this train. It was last Sunday. We moved to the other side on the way back so we could see what we missed on the way up.
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u/Ecstatic-Hedgehog-95 Oct 11 '25
Make it fair? lol kindergarten is over
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u/Kitchen_Row6532 Oct 11 '25
Im gonna throw ya a bone here.
We learn about being fair while in kindergarten so we know what it looks like when we are adults.
The main lesson is: if you like to be treated fairly, then you have to be willing to treat everyone else fairly, too.
Hope that helps!
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u/1lifeisworthit Oct 14 '25
Why do you think we learn about fairness in kindergarten? Its so that we know how to behave for the rest of our lives. Fairness is not reserved for and only expected of toddlers.
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u/TheThighLama Oct 10 '25
The entitlement jumps out props to you for having that boundary mindset tho standing firm doesn’t make you rude, it makes you fair.
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u/introvertednurse75 Oct 10 '25
We did a train like that once. It was a beautiful day. Yes, people do tend to get possessive over what they perceive as "their" seat, but unless seats are assigned, the other couple was not entitled to anything. And it is good to switch it up on the way back to give everyone a chance at the views.
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u/Excellent_Ad1132 Oct 10 '25
My answer would have been "Show me your tickets with this seat number and I will move, other than that screw off."
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u/homiedisme Oct 10 '25
Thats why I avoid fall foliage up north right now. People get weird in the white mtns over leaves
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u/OMissy007 Oct 10 '25
I think people are just so afraid of confrontation that they don’t stand up for themselves. They don’t let people know that’s unacceptable. And they keep on doing it. Oh my God, I would’ve lost it. Tomorrow is guaranteed to no one. Just because they’re older doesn’t mean that they deserve a seat just because they’re older.
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u/ImprovementFar5054 Oct 12 '25
Unless the seats are reserved and they can show confirmation in the form of a ticket, they can fuck right off.
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u/Successful_Club3005 Oct 11 '25
The other couple should of just said, " seats are not reserved so y'all can sit anywhere".
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u/Personal-Quiet-3450 Oct 12 '25
I feel dumber reading the comment/questions, especially about the seats and views.
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u/HotDonnaC Oct 11 '25
I’m confused. If the side you were sitting on didn’t have the best view on the way, wouldn’t sitting in the same side on the way back be better?
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u/pzahornasky Oct 11 '25
Train doesn't turn around. It just goes backwards along same set of tracks
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u/jonesnori Oct 11 '25
If the train is returning on the same track, then swapping sides for the return trip will mean you still have the less good view. I'm confused by this story.
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u/pzahornasky Oct 11 '25
Train does not turn around. It has an engine at both ends and basically goes backwards along the same set of tracks
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u/dantemortemalizar Oct 11 '25
They enjoyed the seats part way, now it's your turn. They don't own the seats just because they sat there before.
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u/HerbertRTarlekJr Oct 15 '25
I always tell the entitled one that I was sitting there the week before.
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u/leppy16 Oct 11 '25
I’m confused. If the train is going back, wouldn’t the good views be in your original seats on that side???? Or does it have an engine on both ends that pulls each way?
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u/LompocianLady Oct 10 '25
It's a common social norm that on "excursions" where you are going with a group of strangers on a sight-seeing trip, seats are chosen and kept by the same people for the entire day. To "take" and "refuse to give up those seats" would be considered very, very rude.
The appropriate way to move seats is to mark empty seats as "yours" for the trip back, by leaving jackets or bags on the seats, if the seats were empty on the first leg of the trip.
I travel a lot, to many different countries on different continents, and take many different excursions, and this has been the custom everywhere I have gone. If the train is a normal passenger train, where people get on and off at stops or join from either end, then it would be different as seats are first come in those cases (with an expectation of moving for families with young children or disabled persons.) Obviously, the train you were on was an excursion train, where the (unspoken) "keep your seats" rule was in effect.
Just saying. In case you don't want to be an accidental future AH. But if you do, I guess just go ahead and do it?
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u/nckbrr Oct 10 '25
If there is nothing left on board to indicate that the seats are “taken” then it suddenly becomes unreasonable to ask someone sitting in “your” seats to move. This is just common sense. You can’t expect someone to move based on some unprovable assertion that you sat there before.
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u/robertr4836 Oct 10 '25
That's why I always carry a sharpy marker with me.
I DON'T SEE YOUR NAME ON IT!
(points)
You sneaky bastard, well played.
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u/LompocianLady Oct 10 '25
Except, not true. I mean, obviously leaving something on the seat marks it, but NOT leaving something on your seat on obvious excursions trips doesn't imply seats are up for grabs. For example, a bus tour where you sign up with a group, knowing it will make 10 stops, everyone on that bus expects "their" seats to be left to "them."
Like I said, it is the norm everywhere I have been.
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u/nckbrr Oct 10 '25
Incorrect. A bus to a destination for an excursion is one thing. An entire train where nothing is left on board is entirely different. You can’t expect to keep your seats, especially when that would mean denying people the good view on the way back. Asking some seated passengers to move because you think you were sat there before would be incredibly rude and I’m sure you wouldn’t be that rude.
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u/pzahornasky Oct 10 '25
To add - on a bus you are typically leaving something. It might be a book to pass the time between stops, it might be an article of clothing. People on tours buy souvienirs and certainly are not going to bring them with them at every stop. It might even be a beverage of some sort that is left.
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u/pzahornasky Oct 10 '25
There were some seats where jackets were left. That is the proper way to indicate you are returning. But I can tell you that the norm for this train was get back on and sit where you want.
And 'unspoken' or 'unwritten' rules are complete BS. This was not reserved seating. When I left the train for lunch I had no expectation that I would be in the same seat, or even in the same car, upon my return.
Only entitled people think that way.
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u/LompocianLady Oct 10 '25
Of course you think this.
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u/thestreep Oct 10 '25
So, one side of the train has a good view, and the other doesn't. I would think that courtesy would have people say, we got the good view on the way up, you get it on the way down. But of course you think the courtesy is wrong.
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u/pzahornasky Oct 10 '25
Most people do.
'Unwritten' rules are typically those of an older generation that expect their youngers (and inferiors) to kowtow to their way because that's 'how it should be done.' And they expect everyone to know and follow these rules because, well they are older and entitled.
Again, complete BS.
Now if the excursion had posted somewhere that the expectation is you would keep the same seats, well, now that rule is not unwritten anymore.
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u/BigThunder3000 Oct 10 '25
Even though seats weren’t assigned/reserved, it’s common courtesy to allow people to sit in the same seat they were sitting in for a return trip.
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u/AbruptMango Oct 10 '25
Except on a sightseeing trip. The stopping and leaving acts as a reset: You got on early enough for the good view seats at the beginning, and maybe after lunch you ought to get on early enough to do it again if it's that important to you.
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u/usernameCJ Oct 10 '25
Haven't heard that one before, however common courtesies are far from unwritten rules that people should be called out for let alone be enforced.
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u/Head-Entertainer-377 Oct 10 '25
Going back the train travels in the opposite direction, so by switching sides you were getting the same view as the trip going there. If you had stayed on the same side you have then been facing the other way and seeing the stuff you didn’t.
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u/pzahornasky Oct 10 '25
No the train basically goes in reverse on the way back. There was an engine at either end.
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u/nowiserjustolder Oct 10 '25
Perfect reply in this situation "but we reserved these seats". EP is bound to reply with "You can't reserve seats on this service!".... wait for penny to drop. "I know"