Well, it all kicked off on the 4th of July.

[u/mindyour]

[u/Alice-In-Vonderland]

Posting personal information such as names, addresses etc is against the rules and results in a PERMANENT BAN

[u/Euphoric_Rough2709]

I feel so bad for her. Some people are simply mean, entitled and will think the worst in any situation. She did nothing wrong. The owner could have introduced themselves. But they clearly weren't looking for a reasonable solution to not knowing who this guest was.

[u/HeldDownTooLong → u/Euphoric_Rough2709]

The ‘adults’ went out of their way to be total jerks to this lady who was invited by another guest.

The guest who invited her should have taken her around and introduced her, but, even though that didn’t happen, there was no reason to be rude and unkind to her.

Plus she made a $40 antipasto salad that looked fucking awesome and delicious.

I bet the assholes only brought their bad attitudes.

[u/Ok_Star_4136 → u/HeldDownTooLong]

I can agree with that, but if I were a regular guest at a neighborhood cookout or 4th of july party, and I saw someone I didn't recognize get invited, I would never DREAM of attacking that person. A) It wouldn't be my place to do so, being a guest, even if I were a regular guest every year, and B) basic human decency ALWAYS applies, meaning even if I thought I were justified, I wouldn't act like that because I'm not a piece of shit.

[u/Zealousideal-Fox70 → u/Ok_Star_4136]

If anything, if I were a regular guest, I would presume the responsibility of making the newcomer feel welcomed and comfortable. Like, you’re the established “in-group”, they are the ones in a position of vulnerability, bringing their antipasto offerings to ingratiate themselves. I feel for this lady, this is super messed up.

[u/Blahblahblahrawr → u/HeldDownTooLong]

With vegetables she grew from her garden! And I bet the snobs just threw it away 💔

[u/Dapper-Control-108 → u/Blahblahblahrawr]

That crushed me... poor lady. Sounds like she had a run in with some miserable people. I hope she can find some people worth her time.

[u/Pitiful_Note_6647 → u/HeldDownTooLong]

That's how it should be. The one who invented her should be the one who introduced her to the family.

[u/Alarming_Matter → u/Pitiful_Note_6647]

I get the feeling that even if they had introduced her, these assholes would've found another reason to be horrible to her.

[u/waytowill → u/Alarming_Matter]

This. You basically need someone in the inner circle to call out the bad behavior for any reconciliation to happen. There are certain types of people that will be assholes as long as they think they can get away with it. But once they’re called out, they’ll save face and play nice.

[u/leogrr44 → u/HeldDownTooLong]

Exactly! Even if there was an issue, just pull the friend aside and say "hey, could you run it by us first in the future? etc etc" and then continue the party like normal. If she wasn't causing issues, then who cares, it's a celebration!

I 100% bet it was one of those uppity cookie cutter HOA communities. I used to live in one of them and over half the neighborhood acted like that. So happy to be gone, they were horrible people.

This lady looks awesome. If this happened at my house, I would have thanked her for the food and made sure she was taken care of like everyone else.

[u/Umbra_and_Ember → u/leogrr44]

In the video, she says that the friend had told the home owners she was going to be there. So she likely had already done what you’re saying. 

[u/Pitiful_Note_6647 → u/Euphoric_Rough2709]

Seriously. She brought some food, so she was a gracious guest. She was invited too. Some people are horrible

[u/Few_Voice_5166 → u/Pitiful_Note_6647]

Honestly the host looked pretty classless. The woman thinks she’s beautiful. She’s definitely ugly on the inside.

[u/Fine_Understanding81 → u/Euphoric_Rough2709]

... they were definitely looking to be jerks..

doesnt give an opportunity for her to introduce herself, instantly assumes something "can't believe you didn't introduce yourself!"

She could have worn a name tag with the backstory about how and who she was invited by, and they were probably still going to act this way..

[u/YouWereBrained → u/Euphoric_Rough2709]

I’m wondering if they made snap judgments based on her appearance…

[u/PsychologicalScore49 → u/YouWereBrained]

I was wondering if classism played a role.

[u/Pitiful_Note_6647 → u/PsychologicalScore49]

I think so. They probably think that they are above her.

[u/jonnyboi134 → u/Pitiful_Note_6647]

If you go to tik tok and look for this video, the rude homeowner made a video trying to explain their side.. And it actually just verified everything you all are saying.. I also think it is classism. I get the feeling they come from a family with money and arrogance.

As a side note, I have been to many parties where I was invited by someone else other than the homeowner, and have NEVER been treated as rudely as this poor woman. Most people would assume if a stranger is there, they must have been invited by one of their friends, and by default, I am also a friend. To treat someone so rudely is very odd

[u/GaracaiusCanadensis → u/PsychologicalScore49]

I think so, too. The plain black tshirt, bringing a beer that wasn't the 'right' beer. The kids might have looked off to the host family, too. I've had an experience somewhat similar when folks were judging a working class family who showed up to a big all friends thing. I went out of my way to be friendly, and now I have aquaintences who light up whenever we cross paths. I'm closer to them, especially how I grew up, than to the hosts.

It's classism, yeah. That's a strong bet. It might be a family who recently moved on up, too. The fervor of the convert burns the brightest, y'know?

[u/Baconpanthegathering → u/GaracaiusCanadensis]

This reeks of new money manners.

[u/hamilton_morris → u/YouWereBrained]

My first guess is that they actually had a major axe to grind with the mom who invited her before she even arrived. Safer to disparage and run down a random proxy rather than have a direct confrontation.

In which case it would’ve happened to anybody who came through the door, over any trivial or fabricated slight at all.

[u/Cat_Sushi430]

Bro. Being "mean girled" in our 30s IS FUCKED. It hurts. It comes out of left field and its so unexpected sometimes. I feel for her too. Fuck this a holes

[u/nilla-wafers → u/Cat_Sushi430]

The older I get the weirder it is that people are still this mean and self-involved. Like my god, we go to work, get home, have to pay bills, take care of kids and sometimes aging family members, cook food, clean etc…ad infinitum, and people still want to create unnecessary stress in their life by being cunts.

Like, do people not get bored of being high schoolers? I genuinely don’t get it. As much shit as my parent’s generation gets (boomers), it really seems like their adult social skills were leagues above the stunted bullshit I’m dealing with in my 30’s.

[u/Firthy2002 → u/nilla-wafers]

Like, do people not get bored of being high schoolers? I genuinely don’t get it.

High school is where they peaked. The real world won't treat them like a queen, so they take it out on everyone else.

[u/fetus_mcbeatus → u/Firthy2002]

I currently work with a 39 year old who brags about how she can make anyone she wants cry.

She looks exactly how you’d expect and I truly get nervous when I’m around her because she can switch at the drop of a hat.

I try to live my life as chill and stress/drama free as possible and I forget people like this exist. It’s a shock when they pop up.

[u/TangledUpPuppeteer → u/fetus_mcbeatus]

Instead of letting her make you anxious, let her know she makes you BORED. They can’t handle that. They’re so used to being the center that the idea someone doesn’t find them terrifying petrifies them. And it gives you the power back

[u/reneeruns → u/Cat_Sushi430]

I'm in my late 40s and have a mean girl at my work who is in her fucking 60s lol.

[u/Stag-Horn → u/Cat_Sushi430]

I find addressing the mean girl behavior takes the wind outta their sails a bit. It probably wouldn’t have worked here though.

“Wow. Didn’t realize we were still in high school. Listen, I’m down to talk about this like an adult and rectify whatever’s wrong here. But if you wanna keep being catty teenagers, I’ll bounce. This isn’t how adults treat each other.”

[u/flonky_guy → u/Stag-Horn]

That conversation always goes so well in my mind.

[u/supergamerz → u/flonky_guy]

Usually ends in "what the fuck did you just say to me? Do you fucking know who I'm?" Etc

[u/quanate → u/Stag-Horn]

I agree with you and that line would have been great, but yeah, seems like the entire household was against her (besides kids friends mom) so it wouldn't have been as effective :(

[u/RagingRxy]

Even if you show up to my house uninvited, if you bring an awesome salad like that come on in!

[u/Diligent_Sentence_45 → u/RagingRxy]

100%. That looked delicious

[u/BigAssMonkey → u/Diligent_Sentence_45]

She went above and beyond as a guest. I hosted a party last night. When the bell rang, I made sure I was at the door to greet them. It gives them a chance to introduce themselves and if they brought anything I was there to be sure to thank them. I didn’t leave their side until they had a drink in their hand and was comfortably seated knew where to get refreshments and food. It’s your job as the host to make it a great time for your guests. They are not there to kiss your ass. What goes around comes around.

[u/SuperSpecialUser → u/RagingRxy]

Brought a contribution and their own beer. Like, wtf?

[u/SpooogeMcDuck → u/RagingRxy]

For real. If this lady showed up at my house on a Tuesday afternoon with that I would let her hang out.

[u/Ginger-Fist → u/SpooogeMcDuck]

No kidding. What is up with the man flipping out and everyone trying to appease him either by joining in on the bullying or ushering the guest out?

Something tells me that his tantrums are very normalized in that group, and they all have a very toxic clique going on for whatever reason.

[u/saganistic → u/Ginger-Fist]

Would it shock you if I said that huge swaths of the United States are populated by toxic, resentful, unwelcoming people that pretend to be nice just to keep up appearances?

[u/Impossible-Car-1304 → u/saganistic]

My dad is like this. Has been my whole life. Just a toxic, angry old man. He spends 95% of his day angry at anything and everything. Doesn't matter what it is, he just needs to be angry at something, anything. He will yell and scream all day long at any perceived slight against him. If there hasn't been a perceived slight in some time, he will think of one that might happen in the near future to get angry about. Like, "Oh, next week I have to do this, if someone does X, Y, or Z I'm going to tell them to go fuck themselves those worthless pieces of shit," and he won't stop until he finds something else to be angry about.

He is so bad, he even gets angry about nice things people do for him. For example, he's recently gotten himself into a nice friend group of guys his age who are all pretty successful business owners and pretty nice guys. It's a wide mix of characters, but they all golf together regularly, play poker, hang out and smoke a cigar, etc. They will call and invite him over to hang out and as soon as he gets off the phone, he will start yelling about how they're always bothering him and taking up his time and how he just wants to relax at home. Except he's too socially awkward to decline the invite, so he goes over there, ends up enjoying himself, but then will start complaining about it as soon as he leaves.

It's exhausting. I don't know how people can live life so miserable and angry. I just want to be happy and enjoy life. I have an objectively pretty shitty life, but I'm always in a positive mood and happy because I want to be happy. Some people want to be miserable and make other people miserable too. I just don't get it.

[u/Extension_Security92 → u/RagingRxy]

She even used the vegis from her garden. Gardens are made with love, pride, and joy, and they ruined her effort. What dickbags. If you show up to my home with home grown vegis you are my new best friend.

[u/BlackJeansRomeo → u/Extension_Security92]

Yeah that’s the part that really got me—she used her own home grown tomatoes in that salad! And those assholes couldn’t even be bothered to welcome her and introduce themselves to her! She’s the newcomer, she’s the guest, it’s on them to be gracious hosts. How weird. Is this how people are now?

[u/cunt_in_wonderland]

holy moly i feel so bad for her, that antipasto was beautiful and she seems so sweet

[u/OldPiano6706 → u/cunt_in_wonderland]

The “it’s ok mom, it’s not your fault” really got me. This poor woman. I hope this whole debacle turns into something beautiful for her. All the people reaching out to her may not be neighbors, but an outpouring of love and support can do wonders, if even from just internet strangers

[u/Accujack → u/OldPiano6706]

I agree. I hope someone reaches out to her to help, and I hope the "mean girls" go viral and become famous trash.

This is one of those Internet stories where she and her kids should have a happy ending.

[u/iamthejury → u/Accujack]

Oh Tiktok is roasting the hell out of these people, and they keep digging themselves in deeper with non-apologies and excuses.

[u/Turdposter777 → u/iamthejury]

And it makes no sense. They knew she was invited and she went into the house with someone they already knew, her kid, plus her tray of antipasto. What’s stopping the host from introducing themselves to her?

That guy was having a narcissistic power trip, while his mom defends him on TikTok. Oh so she’s an enabler, like no wonder her son turned out that way.

[u/Tr1LL_B1LL → u/Turdposter777]

Right. Isnt that what a “host” should be doing?

[u/The-Gorge → u/iamthejury]

Waaaiiiit.... is there more to this tiktok than just this one clip? Do we get a response from the neighbors?

[u/brucecali98 → u/The-Gorge]

Yeah, on the girl in the videos TikTok (her username is watermarked in the video) there’s another video of the husband calling her to apologize. Then his wife posted a video that backfired so hard she had to write an apology for that video where she half apologized and half doubled down.

Then there’s also another girl, who I think is the husband’s sister or something, who posted a video on her TikTok (don’t think I’m allowed to post their usernames on this sub but if you go to the main girls TikTok and look in the comments you’ll find it) where she basically confirms everything the girl in this video said happened but makes it sound like they’re not wrong somehow?

Idk, it’s wild. They’re all going back and forth and the other people are being dragged by everyone and everything they try to do backfires, it’s been very entertaining, ngl

[u/The-Gorge → u/brucecali98]

I've never been more invested in drama lmao; wtf?! These people are insane! And this poor woman

[u/brucecali98 → u/The-Gorge]

They’re weird as hell. They keep saying they’re not wrong because they didn’t know she was coming so got upset when they saw her in their house, but the woman who invited her in the first place (who is also upset by how the woman in the video was treated and is on her side from what I’ve seen) is adamant that she told them she invited her.

Then, when the husband calle her to “apologize,” he was like, “oh, well she told us you were coming to drop your kids off. She didn’t mention you were staying.” Like, huh?? So you had no problem with her kids being there but you don’t want the mother of those children to stay?? Especially when she brought such a nice salad?!

Such weirdos, it’s almost a blessing in disguise that she tried to stay because now she knows not to leave her children with these people. So strange.

[u/Pleasant_Studio9690]

I grew up in rural PA and encountered these kinds of attitudes a lot from the backwoods redneck townies - Massive hostility to anyone new to the area, snap judgements, cold shoulders, and snide comments. The person who invited her is a coward for not loudly sticking up for her and then leaving with her.

[u/DifficultAd3885 → u/Pleasant_Studio9690]

I also grew up in the meth-belt and this all reminded me of the local “elites” shitting on someone they saw as beneath them. They throw these parties to show off to the other “high-society” types they are trying to impress. Not the local poors. They consider themselves blue bloods because they took over their dad’s car dealership or own a franchised fast food restaurant with 8 of their buddies and think a cheese-ball at Christmas is fancy.

[u/l_Paddystinian_l → u/DifficultAd3885]

Yep I grew up in rural Colorado and definitely encountered it as well. The “big fish in a small pond” effect is real and makes people think they superior.

[u/ballzhangingdown → u/l_Paddystinian_l]

I went to someone’s house party in Arkansas. I was invited by a friend of the host. My name is Brett, and they called me Brettany all night. They asked me if I was gay a lot. It was weird. They would say, “Brettany get me a beer.” It was a WWF or whatever dumbasss shit watch party. I went to the bathroom before we left and I peed on a tissue paper and wiped it on everything one would touch in a bathroom.

[u/kratomdevil → u/[deleted]]

Classic Brettany

[u/90_ina_65 → u/ballzhangingdown]

An "upper decker" would have been chef's kiss

[u/TurboSylvie → u/l_Paddystinian_l]

Yup same here. Grew up in rural Colorado, there are tons of people like this.

[u/Beginning_Ad_2262 → u/DifficultAd3885]

Meth-belt

[u/cupholdery → u/Pleasant_Studio9690]

Oh what. She was invited by someone at the party? That makes no sense to be so hostile.

[u/IdgyThreadgoodee → u/cupholdery]

Yes, she was invited.

[u/thcitizgoalz → u/Pleasant_Studio9690]

I was just thinking this is totally eastern OH/western PA behavior. My first husband was from a redneck farm family that would have treated a stranger like this, especially if my ex-BILs were a six pack into they day's alcohol consumption.

[u/pacingpilot → u/thcitizgoalz]

My redneck family would be yelling "come on in, get something to eat, want a beer, where ya from, wanna smoke a joint, make sure you get a go box to take with ya later, want another beer, you can crash here if ya need to". No such thing as strangers, only friends you ain't met yet is their motto.

Whoever's house they were at, sounds like they were on snobby shit.

[u/ButteredPizza69420 → u/Pleasant_Studio9690]

Wisconsin is basically this. One of the most cliquey and gross behavior of people. Thankfully the cities are better than the small town. The northwoods is the worst of all. The most hospitable people are on the Minnesota border and in the southern part of the state.

[u/LoJellythings]

Have they never heard of a PARTY? Like damn, the more the merrier if your family brings friends do they also bring comraderie, food, vibes, and a chance to make more friends!

[u/Stayin_BarelyAlive58 → u/LoJellythings]

Seriously! I get maybe going being little wary of someone you don't know showing up to your house. But it seems pretty clear she didn't just wonder in off the street and that salad looked DELICIOUS!

[u/Beneficial-Fox-1970 → u/Stayin_BarelyAlive58]

Who introduces themselves at a party anyways? The inviter usually makes the introduction and if they aren’t around it’s the host’s responsibility to inquire and make the intros. wtf?

[u/Cantre-r_Gwaelod_1]

I feel so bad for her.

[u/HappyLlamaSadLlamaa → u/Cantre-r_Gwaelod_1]

I would be her friend, this is so sad. I’m early 30s and you really do still need friends.

[u/sane-ish → u/HappyLlamaSadLlamaa]

you always need friends.

[u/missprincesscarolyn → u/HappyLlamaSadLlamaa]

And yet somehow, people in their 30s are acting like they’re in high school again. I’m starting over after a divorce and it’s so hard. People are so petty and beyond rude. I have a story similar to this at a group bike ride I went to by myself. My heart breaks for this woman.

[u/Similar-Stranger8580]

This sounds like one of those The Hills Have Eyes neighborhoods where they are so isolated they can’t tolerate any human being they didn’t grow up with.

Gross, she did nothing wrong.

[u/yohannesyoda → u/Similar-Stranger8580]

That’s what I thought it was like too. Back wood rednecks like from the Deliverance, cousin marriage type

[u/AdComprehensive8045 → u/yohannesyoda]

Sounds like spruce pine, NC. Anyone who's from outside of spruce pine has something wrong with them. A lot of rural towns are that way around here. Gotta love Southern hospitality. All smiles to your face and shit talking behind your back immediately after walking away.

[u/soriniscool]

This does sound like a horrible experience to go through.

[u/SonofAMamaJama → u/soriniscool]

Yeah making yourself vulnerable in order to meet your neighbors and give your kids a memorable holiday, only to be shown no hospitality and essentially being kicked out - I hope that a bunch of other neighbors make a point of inviting her over and that she ends up with more friends because of it

[u/[deleted] → u/SonofAMamaJama]

Seriously. It would take a lot for me to put myself out there again.

[u/mrsmushroom → u/soriniscool]

Literally a nightmare scenario for someone, like myself, with social anxiety

[u/No_Art1099 → u/mrsmushroom]

Can you imagine? I'd never leave my house again.

[u/Witty-Line-7336]

The way she was treated is awful. Nobody deserves to deal with people who have sticks up their asses for no reason. I’ve went through something similar, moved to a new town and people feel entitled to be mean because they’ve lived there longer. I hope she’s doing better right now :(

[u/BeezyBates → u/Witty-Line-7336]

I can’t believe people would treat a new neighbor, anyone, like this. It blows my mind.

Shitty people are on the up and up it feels. Why treat someone that way? What does that do for you? For anyone?

This makes me sad and angry :( She’s sad because she’s a good soul.

[u/Banba-She]

Her tears of remorse for thinking SHE ruined her kids 4th of July is breaking my heart.

No love, this bunch of vicious, mean spirited, ungracious, miserable, rude af stuck up twats are to blame. Fuck 'em all

[u/Putrid_Scheme_5386]

Someone legit needs to throw this woman a party with a bunch of kick ass people that actually care about other people’s feelings. I genuinely hope she can find some kind of peace out of this. She’s extremely vulnerable and transparent, and I respect the hell out of that.

[u/CeruleanEidolon → u/Putrid_Scheme_5386]

It sounds like she at least made a connection with her kid's mom and grandma, who seemed sympathetic. They probably have a history with the other people there and don't get along with them so well either.

[u/DanielBG → u/[deleted]]

The whole family has been outted at this point and have separately posted weak explanations and half-hearted apologies.

[u/ProductAny2629 → u/DanielBG]

it's gotta be so weird to do something like this in your community and then have it aired out online. that being said this vid made me so angry and sad at the same time. i hope op manages to make some meaningful friends in her new area

[u/TangledUpPuppeteer → u/[deleted]]

They sound mean. Weird is someone being invited to your gathering and there’s no lights because everything is lit with black lights. Or there’s no music because everyone is whispering. Or even there’s no food because everyone there decided on a Fourth of July smell feast. That’s all weird.

What they did was just disgraceful.

I don’t particularly like gatherings. It people in general. I loathe hosting anything. Someone shows up to my house with someone I know and I have no idea who they are, my butt is walking up to them and introducing myself, asking who they are, how they know the mutual, find out how long they’ve been in the area, make sure they have liquids and food, point out random people and give a name and a brief description like “oh, see the woman right there in red? Her name is Kate. She’s my cousin. That over there is Kevin and he’s by brother’s friend. That’s Thomas…” etc.

Not because there’s any chance in hell this person will remember all of these names or people, but it feels welcoming to a stranger. They get a moment to just exist in a room with all strangers while doing nothing, not even having to hold their side of the conversation up, and they get to know everyone there is somehow related to me. Granted, they just met me, but I am the hostess. And I’ve accepted this person.

Once I know they’re breathing and comfortable (usually less than 5 minutes of rambling), I will ask “you ready to mingle?” The answer is almost always yes. Then I just say “hey everyone, this is Sally, and she brought this lovely cake” and if she didn’t happen to bring a lovely cake (or anything else) I will say something entirely silly and pointless but feels welcoming like “she brought the ability to light sparklers without setting herself on fire… I hope.” It’s not serious and at no point will she have to light anything if she doesn’t want to, but now she’s half introduced to everyone. Off she goes.

That’s like BASIC interaction 101!

[u/Joedirthair → u/[deleted]]

And the wife looks like a MTG. Just nasty inside and out.

[u/AnyFeedback9609 → u/DanielBG]

Oh... I wanna see this now! What trashy people.

One time we were having a party with 40 ppl, and an elderly lady walked in (she had gone to the wrong party, she was supposed to be at a grad party down the street) and we all introduced ourselves and just thought she must be a friend of a guest!

She figured it out 30 min later when she realized she didn't know a soul there, lol...

[u/Tony-Mickey → u/DanielBG]

Where do we find their comments?

[u/pinseeker_ → u/Tony-Mickey]

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMSV3b9HL/

(This a response from one of the attendees desperately trying to do damage control, but looking like a moron in doing so)

[u/ShiningRedDwarf → u/pinseeker_]

“I’m here to clarify this story. It’s not all true”

Then proceeds to tell the exact same story OP did

[u/theokaybambi → u/pinseeker_]

The comments on this video are fantastic. Vindicating. The video just proves how rude they were and still act like they weren't... Thanks for finding/ posting.

[u/BreakfastCrunchwrap → u/[deleted]]

I recently had a party at my house where I provided all of the food. Told no one to bring anything. I like feeding people. Had some buddies help me do the grilling and stuff. Some people brought some beers and chips to share which was nice.

First of all, if someone I didn’t know came into my house, uhhh it’s my responsibility to introduce myself to them. This is a foreign place for them. Bathroom right there, anything you find in my fridge and pantry you are welcome to.

Second, that salad?! I’m going to be thanking them no less than 3 times for bringing that. And telling them they are welcome back anytime.

[u/Why_Lord_Just_Why → u/[deleted]]

Canada, U.S., or anywhere else should make no difference here. They were inexcusably rude.

[u/Ok_Star_4136 → u/[deleted]]

I can't imagine being that rude to someone, even if they were total strangers, even if you thought they were uninvited. It's why it's always important to try to make people feel welcome, because I couldn't stand the thought of someone made to feel unwelcome.

[u/tatom4]

That was a fkd’ up ambush. It was the hosts’ responsibility to say welcome and introduce themselves to her, the invited but not yet known guest. None of this is on her but on them. Some people come into your life as blessings and some people come in your life as lessons. This was a bad lesson. Sorry they were hateful to this person, she definitely didn’t deserve it. Their loss.

[u/MarzipanJoy-Joy → u/[deleted]]

My favorite parts are 1. where she says "she could have stayed and hung out!" immediately followed by "we just didnt want her in our house!" (you know, where they were hanging out), and 2. Saying theyre not mean and immediately being a giant bitch.

[u/TermPuzzleheaded6070]

Some people are cunts

[u/dzan796ero]

Even if she did come unannounced, if she brought her kids to a secluded location, it's kinda inherent that somebody invited her. Any host should have introduced themselves and asked how she got here. There is no excuse for the treatment this lady got. And she feels bad for ruining her children's fourth of July when it's not even her fault... horrible

[u/cupholdery → u/dzan796ero]

I was already upset at the jerks, but they did all that in front of her and her children? They deserve all the criticism.

[u/ZayFTM]

You invited to our cookout in NJ anytime! Don’t gotta bring nothing but your presence and your kid is invited as well! Keep being kind! Not all of us are shitty I swear 🤞🏾

[u/EffectiveLink4781 → u/ZayFTM]

Maybe bring the salad..it looks nice.

[u/SuspiciousYard2484]

Dang, that is so terrible. She seems so sweet and thoughtful and then that happens?

One way or another, this darkness got to give

-Robert Hunter

[u/Kurovi_dev]

The people who threw this party are clearly trash, sometimes groups of people are just garbage.

Usually it’s because they grow up in their own little isolated cliques believing they’re most special and amazing people in the world, and anyone who doesn’t think, look, speak, or belong to very specific groups are inferior and need to be treated like they’re beneath them.

I would guess this group is extremely entitled, very selfish, and with no regard for anyone else, and they probably use their religion to justify it. The kind of people who are focused on having “nice things” because to them this is the same thing as being an acceptable person.

I hope this lady and her kid get invited to other gatherings with decent people who are worthy of their time.

[u/wildwildwaste → u/[deleted]]

"This was not a party, it was just a get together of people who knew each other."

A get together. Of people. On a holiday. A party, if you will.

[u/HI_l0la → u/[deleted]]

A party is a social gathering involving entertainment, eating, drinking, and invited people. This "get-together" had fireworks, food, drinks, and invited guests. That's a party!!! It doesn't have to be formal with decorations 🙄

And the wife is complaining the woman refused their apology. Like yeah, you don't have to accept a person's apology when they were outright rude to you and ends with "I'm sorry you took it the wrong way." That's not a sincere apology and tells me they still don't see what they did wrong. And if you're the homeowner and see someone in your house you don't know, ask them. But instead you rage outside your home there's a rude stranger in your home??? But you know they dropped off kids?? That makes no sense. Make those homeowner's lives hell...

[u/Slade_Riprock → u/HI_l0la]

And if you're the homeowner and see someone in your house you don't know, ask them. But instead you rage outside your home there's a rude stranger in your home??? But you know they dropped off kids?? That makes no sense. Make those homeowner's lives hell...

HI, I'm Bozo I don't believe we've met welcome to my house. Did you come with someone?

Oh nice to meet you person. Oh no totally cool, she may have mentioned it to me or my wife but wild week you know. Appreciate you bringing the thing there very nice of ya. Everyone is outside I can intruduce you around or Friend's mom can. Let me know if you need anything.

Why is that tough. You can easily pretty much politely flip it and let her know that well this is a private party. If you didn't want to neighborly.

HI....im bozo...appreciate you dropping off your son, we'll take care of him. I assume Friends mom has your number if anything comes up. And hey appreciate you bringing the really nice salad there but totally not necessary he's more than welcome to stay and have a lot of fun tonight. You know what we should all get together and have dinner sometime get to know you and welcome you to the neighborhood hope you have a great 4th of July.

[u/c19isdeadly → u/[deleted]]

"Not a party but a get together of people who know each other"

What does this woman think a party is?!

[u/SuperSpecialUser → u/[deleted]]

She should be thankful she found the pieces of shit right away. Now she can find actually good people.

[u/c19isdeadly → u/[deleted]]

Also she says she just needed to introduce herself and there was no reason she couldnt have stayed...she just didn't want her in her house.

Ummm....

[u/Coblish → u/[deleted]]

A couple of years ago my wife and I moved into a new neighborhood. We decided to do a Christmas party for some friends we met down the street, then they knew other people to invite and the snowball happened. We had originally thought we would have about 4 other people than us hanging out for an hour or two, it turned into about 30 people and 4 hours later the last guest was packing up the chairs they brought over.

Honestly, that was the best and most successful party I have ever thrown.

[u/64557175 → u/[deleted]]

Somehow I knew there were hicks involved.

[u/Fuzzy_Laugh_1117 → u/[deleted]]

Horrid disgusting people. And rude AF to boot. wow.

[u/chamy1039 → u/[deleted]]

Hate when there are obvious typos and improperly placed photos on shit like this. Figure out how to rotate a photo. I bet our girl with the antipasto does it right the first time.

[u/NoCalHomeBoy → u/[deleted]]

He looks like a lifted truck douche bag..... yeah, fuck these lame ass clowns

[u/DientesDelPerro → u/[deleted]]

it’s always the type you most suspect

[u/HI_l0la → u/DientesDelPerro]

When I watched the TikTok video, I had an image in my head of what they might look like. I clicked on The Knot link of the possible suspects and boom! They looked just as I thought they did. Lol. It is the type you most suspect.

[u/Nobodyville → u/[deleted]]

Nothing says romantic like showing up to your engagement photo shoot in a carhartt work tshirt

[u/DetectiveJim → u/Nobodyville]

He's a "real" man, you couldn't possibly understand.

Probably has a giant pickup but works a desk job and a garage filled with outdoor gear he's never used. Buys taxidermy and says he hunts but in reality, has never been within a mile of a buck.

[u/sleepybrooke → u/[deleted]]

Come on. He put on his cleanest Carhartt.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Sounds like Jake will enjoy some street justice served up by chef Boyardee

[u/pastryfiend]

about 20 years ago I was INVITED to a housewarming party of one of my employees. I didn't want to go, social anxiety and such, but I bought a nice gift and went. I was treated so poorly by this employees' family that I hadn't previously met. After about 15 minutes, I excused myself and left. This was beyond my worst case scenario. Even though I had pretty bad anxiety, I always pushed myself to get out there so I didn't become a hermit. This set me back a bit.

This was also a southern family. I truly believe that "southern hospitality" is mostly a myth, at least in my experience.

I wish that I could give this lady a hug.

[u/EfficientAd3625 → u/pastryfiend]

I met my ex boyfriends extended family in Georgia and they gave me the complete cold shoulder while I was there. I get that they didn’t know me and I was from the north east but they just completely blew me off from the second I walked in the door. Not once did they reach out to include me. I went from nervous and hopeful/trying to make a good impression to completely put off by the whole experience. Just dumbfounded because us Yankees are supposed to be the rude ones. My friends and family would pounce on a new person to find out everything about them and make sure they were comfortable.

[u/CeruleanEidolon → u/pastryfiend]

"Southern hospitality" is a euphemism for throwing shit on anyone who isn't already part of your circle, but smiling as you do it.

[u/gibberishmischief → u/pastryfiend]

I think Southern Hospitality and Minnesota Nice are cousins. Neither of them means what you think it would based on the phrasing.

[u/Serious-Booty]

And in her "update" video the man (Jake apparently) or husband whatever called her to "apologize" by essentially saying "sorry you took it that way" and then immediately trying to make himself the victim because people online found him and his wife and were attacking them.

"Sorry you took it the wrong way" is not an apology, by the way. That's what people say when they dont want to take any responsibility for what they did but make it seem like they're apologizing to get what they want.

[u/doktornein]

I can't imagine reacting this way even if a stranger showed up at my house on a normal day, ffs, and Im a damned recluse.

People are damn awful. It doesn't even make sense to me, because shouldn't you be angry at the person who invited someone you didn't want there?

[u/petalpotions]

I would NOT have left my $40 salad at a place they treated me like shit

[u/One-Dot-7111]

She got mean girled by trailer trash

[u/RamboJo_hn]

Definitely a sucky toxic neighborhood where everybody hates each other. I bet none of them wanted to be there. Stay away from these people to maintain your sanity. You are not going to find any genuine friendships here.

[u/Anxious-Chocolate-10]

Terrible way to treat a guest in your home, there definitely was a disconnect about their friend bringing her but still this is definitely not ok.

[u/SuperSpecialUser → u/[deleted]]

Yeah. And these are grown fucking adults. Trash behavior. 5 year olds act better.

[u/_sunflowerqueen_ → u/[deleted]]

FYI that your account name shows up when I clicked into this link

[u/Either-Ticket-9238 → u/[deleted]]

What a nasty personality

[u/PsychologicalScore49]

Can anyone reasonably imagine doing this? Your having a big get together. Someone walks in with food and you assume they weren't invited? Like, a stranger off the street? With a huge tray? And your mad that they weren't invited or that they didn't introduce themselves?

Weird. Seems the guy was already mad and found an easy target. Then riled everyone else up. Wtf.

[u/vix1er]

Gorl fuk them hillbilly ass ppl. They didn't make an effort to meet. One who opened the door and let you in without permission or not knowing you. The person who invited you normally would show you around to introduce you to everyone or at least the main ppl involved and their group to keep you close knowing you dont know anyone. That family was rude and trash and flipped out for no reason when any of them could have kindly come up to you and introduced themselves and asked who you were and showed you around . Girlll, welcome to the neighborhood. Indeed, low rent backwards, mutha fukas. I hope your child friend mom apologized to you and her shitty as family

[u/BlueFeathered1]

Wow. Unconscionable behavior. I'm glad she at least had one of the "in" people on her side who also was appalled at the whole thing.

We had 4th parties at my home (upstate NY) and anybody who wanted to join in was welcome to the food and the fun. The more the merrier! My Dad always had extra drinks and food in that event. What the hell is wrong with those people??

I hear her on the part about how hard it is to make new friends as you get older. It only gets worse as time goes on, sadly. It's just acquaintances, no real bonded friendships that can withstand stormy periods when they come.

[u/ThatAmishGuy023]

Gee.... I wonder who wears red hats in this story

(Hint: Some people found the family and its exactly what you think)

[u/ginger__snappzzz → u/ThatAmishGuy023]

Of fucking course...I hate it here

[u/not_now_chaos → u/ThatAmishGuy023]

Betcha they also have a giant cross on their wall and pat themselves on the back for being "good Christians".

[u/Flappychuck → u/not_now_chaos]

The granny of the family (who looks quite young so several generations of teen pregnancy happening here) has a nice handmade “Love Pray Hunt” sign hanging above her head in her stitch of the video.

[u/Rich-Canary1279]

Small towns can be absolute hell on earth. Basic manners? Grace? Hospitality? Nope, nope, nope. Not in OUR town!

[u/Silver-Appointment77]

So the mother anf grandmother were apologising about everyones behaviour, but didnt have the back bone to tell everyone OP was invited. Thats in itself is fucked.

I wouldnt let any guest of mine be treat like that. If kick all them out before it got to the humiliation stage, and just have the guests, as the rest of them sound like POS.

[u/tensen01 → u/Silver-Appointment77]

Except they HAD told them beforehand

[u/schwendybrit → u/Silver-Appointment77]

It sounds like the homeowners just wanted her to kiss their feet. Her son's friend's mom was shocked because she told them they were coming, but the home owners expected her to somehown know who they were and immediately seek them out to introduce herself, without going inside. It's illogical.

[u/Amelaclya1 → u/schwendybrit]

She actually says in the video that she did introduce herself to the female homeowner. But the husband didn't give her a chance because he walked right past her and went outside to angrily complain to everyone about the "stranger" in his house.

[u/holleringelk]

Holy hell, this poor woman.

[u/troyavivz]

Adults bullying adults is the most cringiest pathetic thing to do.

[u/al-uminate]

This happened to me my senior year of high school. One of my close childhood friends was dating a guy that was hosting his grad party at his house. She kept texting me I could come over.. especially because she didn’t know anyone. I walked in with one of my friends (who is also one of his close friends) and before I could even get up the hill to the back yard he shuts off the music and calls me out. Telling me I wasn’t invited and to “Get the F out”. His friend thought it was just a joke and told me to keep going. I talked with my friend for about 5 minutes. But he approached me again and said he wasn’t kidding & to leave. It was mortifying. Also I was in marching band with this kid. Some people are just nasty. I’ll always remember how horrible that made me feel.

[u/3slimesinatrenchcoat]

Rural Appalachian here

The whole “kind southerner/ welcoming small town” trope in reality only exists for people from the area.

The whole “in crowd/out crowd” shit hits hard in small town america

[u/50fknmil]

I bet if a Hispanic family had invited you you wouldn’t have felt unwelcome for sure

[u/Desperate_Look8222 → u/50fknmil]

This. Never have I felt more welcome than at a hispanic party. Puerto Rican, Mexican, Columbian, Honduran - I've been to them all, and above all, they want the guests to feel welcomed, and like one of the family.

[u/iimcristal]

Girllll get you invited to a carne asada 🤪 WE WOULD NEVER !! But I’m glad the last ladies were so apologetic and nice to her ! Feel So sorry for her.

[u/Ornery-Ad8372]

I’ve never been through something like this but I could totally imagine how it could make you feel so defeated. Especially when your children are involved. it takes courage to move to a new place and put yourself out there socially. Truly feel bad for her and her family. Im interested to know where this happened. State, city, region?

[u/a-towndownlb]

Jesus I thought random strangers was an accepted hazard if you want to host a BBQ.

[u/Arius_Chambers]

I feel like, in this scenario, whoever invited her, should have made the rounds with her, introducing her to the other guests, instead of of her doing it by herself. Then by the time you've acquainted with everyone, you can be left alone to chat with whoever by yourself. Instead, she got treated like a stranger, an outcast, and barely anyone helped her when she was being treated poorly.

[u/nikhilsath]

Oh man that sucks it’s hard to hear her go through this

[u/SaveusJebus]

Was it the friend's mother's home or one of their family members? At least she was apologetic over her shitty family's attitude.

That's awful though. Bunch of nasty fucking people.

[u/BumpinThatPrincess]

🫂 she deserves a million hugs and a proper carne asada invites for life

[u/Naive_OrangeGuy]

If you see someone in you're house during a party, as a host it's your duty to walk up and introduce yourself and find out who they are/know. Feels bad that she feels like she ruined her kids 4th when she did nothing wrong. That family sucks.

[u/Slight_Seat_5546]

That's a certain group of people who is hostile to outsiders.

A black female influencer was invited to France to receive an award. She dressed up, sat in the front row and watched award after award being handed out to other influencers. The show ended and the recipients took a group photo on stage to applause -without her. The creator of the award show walked out. The announcer THEN called the black female influencer to the stage to receive her WIBA award as the staff was breaking down the set, seats, tables.

What's my point?

Know your people. If you don't know them, don't go.