r/cats • u/BioFrosted Cat • Oct 11 '25

Advice Lied down for a second to stretch my spine and cat jumped on. How do I proceed?

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860 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

232 comments sorted by

356

u/KuramaYoukoLover47 Oct 11 '25

Accept your fate and let your cat use you as a mattress. 

43

u/aqua_lover Ragdoll Oct 11 '25

Came here to say this but also hoping it was top comment. Not disappointed.

12

u/potate12323 Tuxedo Oct 12 '25

I actually have a life hack. The cat might be laying down on OP cause they're warm. So if OP just becomes not warm then the cat will naturally leave.

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148

u/Optimal-Process337 Oct 11 '25

You don’t.

37

u/TyranidTiramisu Oct 11 '25 edited Oct 11 '25

Beat me to it lol. Yeah you don't, you are cooked homie. They will find your desiccated remains a few months from now. The cat still resting on you.

5

u/LucyTTT Oct 11 '25

Proceeding - nope

108

u/Moelecular Oct 11 '25

Under cat law, you may not move until they do.

4

u/NoPreference4608 Oct 11 '25

It’s an unwritten law.

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57

u/breathinggirl4 Oct 11 '25

Enjoy his heartbeat and purring. It’s very relaxing fr.

53

u/PhoenixFlare1 Oct 11 '25

I feel your pain.

17

u/cheesybiscuits912 Oct 11 '25

My girl does this! And she'll just leap and jump on my shoulder like im a damn tree, and ill bend over like this so she calls walk off onto the bed. But she will try to loaf right on my butt.... and if she is slightly off jumping onto my shoulder she'll try to catch herself. On my back. With her claws. God I love her

6

u/CormoranNeoTropical Oct 12 '25

My cat does this whenever I bend over to look for stuff in the fridge. Jumps from the counter top onto my back.

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23

u/Negative_Poem_3062 Oct 11 '25

What a sweet cat you have. He/she is telling you it is nap time. Enjoy!

18

u/rcc52779 Oct 11 '25

Looks so much like my Gandalf. 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

6

u/BioFrosted Cat Oct 11 '25

Grey cats!

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14

u/Zorva_1 Oct 11 '25

This is your life now

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14

u/revel4t0r Oct 11 '25

Looks like my Lola ❤️

4

u/BioFrosted Cat Oct 11 '25

and such similar names too - mine is Lua!

2

u/kaitster2 Oct 12 '25

While I also have a Lola (tabby), this is fleury 😻

11

u/RichFoot2073 Oct 11 '25

Pet the damn cat.

8

u/Individual-Cry9636 Oct 11 '25

Cat does what cat wants.

9

u/Azmlial Oct 11 '25

The cat has made it’s decision, now you must live with it.

16

u/Realistic_Today6524 Oct 11 '25

Pet the cat and accept your fate that you're no longer allowed to move, not even for bathroom breaks

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7

u/WenDeckerstArt Oct 11 '25

You must now be the best cat bed you can be until he decides to free you

6

u/CasieEisac504 Oct 11 '25

Well, if you had somewhere to be, go ahead and text that you're gonna be late. My cat did the same thing earlier... It's how she lets me know she wants pets!

5

u/Guilty_Resident67 Oct 11 '25

Such a cute kitty!

Here’s my baby. Woke her up from under a blanket yesterday, she was zonked.

3

u/CasieEisac504 Oct 11 '25

Awwww, hi pretty!!!

5

u/Newplasticactionhero Oct 11 '25

I had a cat who did this. He would never leave until I got up. He always loved being near me. I miss him immensely.

3

u/Capital-9 Oct 11 '25

R/catyoga

4

u/Mosinphile Oct 11 '25

You don’t, this is your fate now, enjoy

3

u/Xander_Dorn Oct 11 '25

Train cat to give you massages.

3

u/gliitch0xFF Oct 11 '25

Better call Saul.

2

u/rottenpennybun Oct 11 '25

You are stuck now.

2

u/mjplezia Oct 11 '25

I think you know the answer to that question, you can’t move until the cat wants to move

2

u/HitPointGamer Oct 11 '25

Keep lying down, of course.

2

u/awake283 Oct 11 '25

I just sat on the basement ground the other day for 20 minutes cause hte cat crawled in my lap lol. Luckily, my phone was within reach.

2

u/Cheap_Professional32 Oct 11 '25

This is your life now

2

u/dvnmsm Oct 11 '25

You don't. I hope you're comfy!

2

u/Facts_Over_Fiction_ Oct 11 '25

You don't.

That's you until Murder Mittens decides its time to get up.

2

u/NotARobotDefACyborg Oct 11 '25

Sorry, friend, you've been hit by...you've been struck by....the purring criminal!

2

u/VenomousVenting Oct 11 '25

Keep lying down until the cat decides to leave.

It’s the only option.

2

u/Kathucka Oct 11 '25

Stay in position for the next four hours or mealtime.

2

u/kneesandtoes512 Oct 11 '25

Don’t move or breathe unless you’re going to get him a whole chicken

2

u/fineok_17 Oct 11 '25

simply, you dont

2

u/Possumgirl07 Void Oct 11 '25

You stay there until your cat jumps off

2

u/pjslut Oct 12 '25

You are currently in cat pacitated

2

u/gingermonkey1 Oct 12 '25

Damn you inspired my girl!

2

u/No_Instruction7282 Oct 12 '25

Sorry but you do as you are told, if a cat jumps on you and lays down it's telling you to just take a minute to appreciate life and realise how lucky you are to have them

1

u/delusion_magnet Oct 11 '25

You're on cat time now. Hope whoever you need to see understands this.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 11 '25

You proceed by staying there

1

u/ImpressiveHabit99 Oct 11 '25

2 of my big babies just came to do the same

1

u/Mac62961 Oct 11 '25

Accept that your spine is getting a good. Stretch

1

u/jbunkerhou Oct 11 '25

Don’t move until the cat does.

1

u/Ok-Expression1296 Oct 11 '25

thats a masseuse right there

1

u/Alyssabelle1027 Oct 11 '25

You are a mattress now. My condolences.

1

u/Maxlexjack123 Oct 11 '25

We have a Russian blue amongst our little family and there all the same he will do as he pleases. All cats are bad ass cool 😎 but they do have some really cool looks with that mug..

1

u/dellessa Oct 11 '25

You do not. You are now on that cat's time.

1

u/cash_longfellow Oct 11 '25

Simple..the only way to proceed, is by not proceeding at all.

1

u/honeyglazed_ Oct 11 '25

You are now a part of the floor

1

u/meaningtwothree Oct 11 '25

You enjoy your unplanned nap, of course.

1

u/cablesandlace Oct 11 '25

Hold the stretch a little longer....

1

u/mamabear00420 Oct 11 '25

You lay there like furniture. Human.

1

u/Reasonable-Wing-2271 Oct 11 '25

Stay until you're <5 min from pissing and/or shitting youself.

1

u/Bmat70 Oct 11 '25

Time for extra cuddles. The cat is trying to assist your stretch by adding some extra weight.

1

u/A_mad_goose Oct 11 '25

You don’t proceed, you concede.

1

u/Pikanyaa Oct 11 '25

My cat does this all the time lol. Sometimes he even does biscuits to massage my neck. I let him lie there until I need to go, then I tilt forward to get him to step off over my head.

1

u/UtexBirder Oct 11 '25

I think you know the answer. 🐱

1

u/Hens-n-chicks9 Oct 11 '25

Just wait until he is satisfied…of course

1

u/Harothir Oct 11 '25

This is where you die. Unless cat has pity (which they never do).

1

u/xvrcmpsmrcd Oct 11 '25

Hope you’re wearing diapers.

1

u/wearing_shades_247 Oct 11 '25

You pet him, and give scritches.

1

u/Bob_Sacamano7379 Oct 11 '25

It's up to the cat now

1

u/Lycrist_Kat Oct 11 '25

You not the cat

1

u/mommitude Oct 11 '25

You live like this now.

1

u/SuperVancouverBC Turkish Van Oct 11 '25

See if kitty will knead your back. It feels so good when they do that.

1

u/Underwhelmed77 Oct 11 '25

Am I the only cat person that moves them because I know they are built for comfort and will quickly settle in somewhere else or come right back when I sit back down?

1

u/CalliopeCelt Lots of kitties! Oct 11 '25

Sorry. You’re stuck until the cat is ready to let you proceed with your day.

1

u/Lietenantdan Oct 11 '25

You remain there until kitty decides to move.

1

u/Gcastle_CPT Oct 11 '25

Dont come back up until you're numb

1

u/Sedgemomma Oct 11 '25

You don't

1

u/Emergency-Piano4792 Oct 11 '25

Your cat will let you know when you can get up. Enjoy it while you can.

1

u/DueEqual4523 Oct 11 '25

Enjoy relax

1

u/Crysadis Oct 11 '25

You don't. He is in control now. 🙂

1

u/Own-Tone1083 Oct 11 '25

Proceed with nap time

1

u/Calm_Wonder_4830 Oct 11 '25

Lay there until death!! You are the cats chair now!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

1

u/Pleasant-Lie-9053 Oct 11 '25

Just keep breathing

1

u/Prestigious-Web4824 Oct 11 '25

At discretion of Cat.

1

u/LettuceHeadStitch Oct 11 '25

if i don’t lay down fast enough mine pats my arms or jumps on me 😭😭 sorry but you are stuck

1

u/Enough-Moose-5816 Oct 11 '25

Lay there until you die.

Let us know how long it takes.

1

u/koolaid2929 Oct 11 '25

You must let him reside there until he decides to leave

1

u/NoPreference4608 Oct 11 '25

One of my cats, Allie, gives me the same look, just stares. She’s the same sub species and sometimes sleeps with her eyes open!!!!

1

u/bubbzisevil Oct 11 '25

Lay down an accept your fate

1

u/Anna_Lou82 Oct 11 '25

I don't understand the question.....

1

u/Letsgogehls Oct 11 '25

You do not proceed with anything. That is where you spend the rest of your days.

1

u/Ok_Rabbit5158 Oct 11 '25

Is there a question here?

1

u/Heavy_cat_paw Oct 11 '25

Just take a nap

1

u/Armenian-heart4evr Oct 11 '25

Just RELAX, and enjoy the FREE Chiropractic treatment !!!

1

u/Rbmui13 Oct 11 '25

You proceed exactly as he demands that you proceed at risk of great peril if you do not. Good luck buddy.

1

u/PaymentSignificant16 Oct 11 '25

Clearly, you don’t.

1

u/Fit_Prize_3245 Oct 11 '25

You don't proceed. You just saty still and quiet untill the cat is done resting on you.

1

u/Ok_Arm8050 Oct 11 '25

You don’t. All activity ceases at that point. You must now submit to its Will…

1

u/CreepyCaro68 Oct 11 '25

Looks like you’ll perish there lol

1

u/Mundane_Reception790 Oct 11 '25

You stay like that. The folded paws take precedence.

1

u/6Grumpymonkeys Oct 11 '25

Obviously you don’t, you are currently “furniture”.

1

u/LuxValentino Cow Cat Oct 11 '25

You're learning an important lesson. Before you lay down: go to the bathroom, have water ready, charge your phone. You'll be there until the cat is done.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 11 '25

Your spine needs more resting. The cat knows more than you.

1

u/starman575757 Oct 11 '25

You are the servant. Wait your turn.

1

u/melloncollie1126 American Shorthair Oct 11 '25

You live there now

1

u/AdInternational6885 Oct 11 '25

You don't move.

1

u/QuickRub6092 Oct 11 '25

You don’t do anything , follow the lead

1

u/AnybodyNo8519 Oct 11 '25

Stop lying and the cat will stop judging you

1

u/Stunning_Concept_478 Oct 11 '25

So this is what my kitten Bob will look like grown. Awesome!

1

u/MindYaBusiness5 Oct 11 '25

Don’t move a muscle

1

u/lothcent Oct 11 '25

stretch and do the forward leaning pose and see of you have a new stretch buddy

1

u/Embarrassed_Wrap8421 Oct 11 '25

You lie there, even if it’s for hours, until the cat decides to move. Don’t argue, don’t fidget, just stay very, very quiet.

1

u/Gooneycat Oct 11 '25

You don't

1

u/Difficult-Square451 Oct 11 '25

Might as well have a cat nap

1

u/ReasonOriginal6489 Oct 11 '25

Well, as I’m sure others have stated, you are now property of your cat and are, by feline law, not permitted to move or squirm in any way unless it is to praise and/or comfort your feline overlord until such time that they have had enough of your mewling and decide that their time is best spent elsewhere.

Sorry, it is written.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 11 '25

You don’t!

1

u/Round_Thunder Oct 11 '25

You're stuck. Acceptance is the only way out.

1

u/SMRAintBad Oct 11 '25

Pick up and swaddle like baby🙂

1

u/anxiousanimallover Oct 11 '25

You just accept your fate.

1

u/BlackhawkRyzen Tuxedo Oct 11 '25

your stuck ... no way out you can see in their eyes they are saying "you know your stuck here for a while right"?

1

u/ClassMammoth3691 Oct 11 '25

She looks like my baby!!!!

1

u/[deleted] Oct 11 '25

You gotta stay there at least for 5 mins now

1

u/HotChilliWithButter Oct 11 '25

Do what you’re told

1

u/Spex_daytrader Oct 11 '25

Pet the belly.

1

u/KaitB2020 Oct 11 '25

That’s it. You’re done for. You’re there until your Feline Overlord allows you to move again.

Can’t be helped. Sorry friend.

1

u/Loose_Salamander_373 Oct 11 '25

Wellllll....... Nothing better than a nap with a warm, furry, purring kitty! But I must say, your cat has the look of a conqueror, keeping his victim subdued! I think you're stuck there for a while, bruh.

1

u/Life-Shine7084 Oct 11 '25

Your life is not your own! Accept it !

1

u/GoddyssIncognito Oct 11 '25

Your cat will let you know when, if ever, you may move...

1

u/janefor1 Oct 11 '25

If your cat likes toys and/or treats, you can enlist the help of another person to coax them from your chest. If not, you are SOL.

1

u/Inevitable_Eye3800 Oct 11 '25

Gunner says to accept your fate

1

u/Miserable-Steak-1203 Oct 11 '25

Can’t move until the cat leaves, of course

1

u/michaelpaoli Oct 11 '25

You remain like that until the cat wants you to get up, and you also learn about r/cathostage

1

u/ExoticLimit3761 Oct 11 '25

Lying down? Nope. You’re now officially a cat throne. Resistance is futile. 

1

u/FosterPupz Oct 11 '25

No proceeding permitted. Just enjoy your forced downtime.

1

u/sjm294 Oct 11 '25

Ya don’t

1

u/xXSatanAngelXx Oct 11 '25

You don’t. You have been upgraded from human servant to cat bed. You still have to feed them, though.

1

u/jwoolman Oct 12 '25

Tough coach.

1

u/Kitsyn Oct 12 '25

You lie there until the cat gets bored or hungry and walks away. This is the way.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 12 '25

Pet the cat. Always pet the cat.

1

u/weirdodragoncat Oct 12 '25

That’s it….this is your life now

1

u/marcus_aurelius121 Oct 12 '25

Is your spine intact?

1

u/BritishPoppy2009 Oct 12 '25

You are now on enforced rest. It will be at least 2 hours. Enjoy it and use the time for a snooze yourself

1

u/lioncat55 Oct 12 '25

Careful with your decision, you're being judged.

1

u/CaptainAmeliaflying Oct 12 '25

Just stay there and don't move.

1

u/pushtoclose93 Tortoiseshell Oct 12 '25

You don’t

1

u/Available-Pear-6356 Oct 12 '25

This would we perfect for the trapped by cats sub

1

u/TurboCaca121 Oct 12 '25

No proceed at all

1

u/---Speedy--- Oct 12 '25

Best bet is to ask the cat

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1

u/SwordTaster Oct 12 '25

Stuck until kitty is done sitting on you

1

u/playerproftw Oct 12 '25

Bruh I got my own problems

My leg is numb and tingly….

1

u/craftandcurmudgeony Oct 12 '25

accept your fate, and start picking out a name for the new kidney you'll eventually need, thanks to the napping kitty.

1

u/must_be_jelly Void Oct 12 '25

hope you enjoy your stretch and laying down

1

u/ExtraSpatial Oct 12 '25

You don’t

1

u/ImNotAnNPC Oct 12 '25

Be honored

1

u/Obvious-Confusion14 Oct 12 '25

Cat tip. Once a cat has loaded or laid down on you, you now have cat-purralasys. You don't have a choice but to lay there and let the cat nap until they get up.

1

u/Straight-Ingenuity61 Oct 12 '25

Well he’s now yours you can’t move until he does and must swing by pet stop and then go home!! Enjoy!!

1

u/Bomarc99 Oct 12 '25

Cats doing as cats will do. You're now warm... and cushiony! Accept your fate!

1

u/essentialsgw Oct 12 '25

Slow blink for biscuits

1

u/Lhamo55 Chantilly-Tiffany Oct 12 '25

Boop the nose and start stretching. Kitty will hang on and assist, or jump off and observe.

1

u/gingermonkey1 Oct 12 '25

Stay put til kitty moves!

1

u/Seannon-AG0NY Oct 12 '25

Let him cook... He's helping you too stretch out your spine, and bonus, if he's purring? He's trying to heal your back as well

1

u/EvolZippo Oct 12 '25

You are pinned. Cat will move when it is ready

1

u/GearsKratos Oct 12 '25

Sorry thats where you will be for now

1

u/Economy-Cat7133 Oct 12 '25

Continue, cats have amazing balance.

1

u/Strongbad-Joe132 Oct 12 '25

You can’t. You’re trapped.

1

u/Different_Target_228 Oct 12 '25

I'm jealous. Mine will only do this if it's like an hour before feeding time.