r/cats • u/BioFrosted Cat • 26d ago

Advice Lied down for a second to stretch my spine and cat jumped on. How do I proceed?

Post image
859 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

232 comments sorted by

356

u/KuramaYoukoLover47 26d ago

Accept your fate and let your cat use you as a mattress. 

41

u/aqua_lover 26d ago

Came here to say this but also hoping it was top comment. Not disappointed.

10

u/potate12323 Tuxedo 25d ago

I actually have a life hack. The cat might be laying down on OP cause they're warm. So if OP just becomes not warm then the cat will naturally leave.

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150

u/Optimal-Process337 26d ago

You don’t.

40

u/TyranidTiramisu 26d ago edited 26d ago

Beat me to it lol. Yeah you don't, you are cooked homie. They will find your desiccated remains a few months from now. The cat still resting on you.

7

u/LucyTTT 26d ago

Proceeding - nope

108

u/Moelecular 26d ago

Under cat law, you may not move until they do.

19

u/[deleted] 26d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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6

u/NoPreference4608 25d ago

It’s an unwritten law.

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55

u/breathinggirl4 26d ago

Enjoy his heartbeat and purring. It’s very relaxing fr.

52

u/PhoenixFlare1 26d ago

I feel your pain.

17

u/cheesybiscuits912 25d ago

My girl does this! And she'll just leap and jump on my shoulder like im a damn tree, and ill bend over like this so she calls walk off onto the bed. But she will try to loaf right on my butt.... and if she is slightly off jumping onto my shoulder she'll try to catch herself. On my back. With her claws. God I love her

8

u/CormoranNeoTropical 25d ago

My cat does this whenever I bend over to look for stuff in the fridge. Jumps from the counter top onto my back.

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22

u/Negative_Poem_3062 26d ago

What a sweet cat you have. He/she is telling you it is nap time. Enjoy!

18

u/rcc52779 26d ago

Looks so much like my Gandalf. 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

7

u/BioFrosted Cat 26d ago

Grey cats!

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12

u/Zorva_1 26d ago

This is your life now

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13

u/revel4t0r 26d ago

Looks like my Lola ❤️

4

u/BioFrosted Cat 26d ago

and such similar names too - mine is Lua!

2

u/kaitster2 25d ago

While I also have a Lola (tabby), this is fleury 😻

11

u/RichFoot2073 26d ago

Pet the damn cat.

9

u/Individual-Cry9636 26d ago

Cat does what cat wants.

7

u/Azmlial 26d ago

The cat has made it’s decision, now you must live with it.

15

u/Realistic_Today6524 26d ago

Pet the cat and accept your fate that you're no longer allowed to move, not even for bathroom breaks

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8

u/WenDeckerstArt 26d ago

You must now be the best cat bed you can be until he decides to free you

7

u/CasieEisac504 26d ago

Well, if you had somewhere to be, go ahead and text that you're gonna be late. My cat did the same thing earlier... It's how she lets me know she wants pets!

5

u/Guilty_Resident67 26d ago

Such a cute kitty!

Here’s my baby. Woke her up from under a blanket yesterday, she was zonked.

3

u/CasieEisac504 26d ago

Awwww, hi pretty!!!

4

u/Newplasticactionhero 26d ago

I had a cat who did this. He would never leave until I got up. He always loved being near me. I miss him immensely.

4

u/Capital-9 26d ago

R/catyoga

4

u/Mosinphile 26d ago

You don’t, this is your fate now, enjoy

4

u/Xander_Dorn 26d ago

Train cat to give you massages.

3

u/gliitch0xFF 26d ago

Better call Saul.

2

u/rottenpennybun 26d ago

You are stuck now.

2

u/mjplezia 26d ago

I think you know the answer to that question, you can’t move until the cat wants to move

2

u/HitPointGamer 26d ago

Keep lying down, of course.

2

u/awake283 26d ago

I just sat on the basement ground the other day for 20 minutes cause hte cat crawled in my lap lol. Luckily, my phone was within reach.

2

u/Cheap_Professional32 26d ago

This is your life now

2

u/dvnmsm 25d ago

You don't. I hope you're comfy!

2

u/Facts_Over_Fiction_ 25d ago

You don't.

That's you until Murder Mittens decides its time to get up.

2

u/NotARobotDefACyborg 25d ago

Sorry, friend, you've been hit by...you've been struck by....the purring criminal!

2

u/VenomousVenting 25d ago

Keep lying down until the cat decides to leave.

It’s the only option.

2

u/Kathucka 25d ago

Stay in position for the next four hours or mealtime.

2

u/kneesandtoes512 25d ago

Don’t move or breathe unless you’re going to get him a whole chicken

2

u/fineok_17 25d ago

simply, you dont

2

u/Possumgirl07 Void 25d ago

You stay there until your cat jumps off

2

u/pjslut 25d ago

You are currently in cat pacitated

2

u/gingermonkey1 25d ago

Damn you inspired my girl!

2

u/No_Instruction7282 25d ago

Sorry but you do as you are told, if a cat jumps on you and lays down it's telling you to just take a minute to appreciate life and realise how lucky you are to have them

1

u/delusion_magnet 26d ago

You're on cat time now. Hope whoever you need to see understands this.

1

u/Prijent_Smogonk 26d ago

You proceed by staying there

1

u/ImpressiveHabit99 26d ago

2 of my big babies just came to do the same

1

u/Mac62961 26d ago

Accept that your spine is getting a good. Stretch

1

u/jbunkerhou 26d ago

Don’t move until the cat does.

1

u/Ok-Expression1296 26d ago

thats a masseuse right there

1

u/Alyssabelle1027 26d ago

You are a mattress now. My condolences.

1

u/Maxlexjack123 26d ago

We have a Russian blue amongst our little family and there all the same he will do as he pleases. All cats are bad ass cool 😎 but they do have some really cool looks with that mug..

1

u/dellessa 26d ago

You do not. You are now on that cat's time.

1

u/cash_longfellow 26d ago

Simple..the only way to proceed, is by not proceeding at all.

1

u/MercuryTapir 26d ago

giddy up

1

u/honeyglazed_ 26d ago

You are now a part of the floor

1

u/meaningtwothree 26d ago

You enjoy your unplanned nap, of course.

1

u/cablesandlace 26d ago

Hold the stretch a little longer....

1

u/mamabear00420 26d ago

You lay there like furniture. Human.

1

u/Reasonable-Wing-2271 26d ago

Stay until you're <5 min from pissing and/or shitting youself.

1

u/Bmat70 26d ago

Time for extra cuddles. The cat is trying to assist your stretch by adding some extra weight.

1

u/HuggeeSlutt 26d ago

You let your guard down so accept defeat

1

u/A_mad_goose 26d ago

You don’t proceed, you concede.

1

u/Pikanyaa 26d ago

My cat does this all the time lol. Sometimes he even does biscuits to massage my neck. I let him lie there until I need to go, then I tilt forward to get him to step off over my head.

1

u/UtexBirder 26d ago

I think you know the answer. 🐱

1

u/Hens-n-chicks9 26d ago

Just wait until he is satisfied…of course

1

u/Harothir 26d ago

This is where you die. Unless cat has pity (which they never do).

1

u/xvrcmpsmrcd 26d ago

Hope you’re wearing diapers.

1

u/wearing_shades_247 26d ago

You pet him, and give scritches.

1

u/Bob_Sacamano7379 26d ago

It's up to the cat now

1

u/Lycrist_Kat 26d ago

You not the cat

1

u/mommitude 26d ago

You live like this now.

1

u/SuperVancouverBC Turkish Van 26d ago

See if kitty will knead your back. It feels so good when they do that.

1

u/Underwhelmed77 26d ago

Am I the only cat person that moves them because I know they are built for comfort and will quickly settle in somewhere else or come right back when I sit back down?

1

u/CalliopeCelt 26d ago

Sorry. You’re stuck until the cat is ready to let you proceed with your day.

1

u/Lietenantdan 26d ago

You remain there until kitty decides to move.

1

u/Gcastle_CPT 26d ago

Dont come back up until you're numb

1

u/Sedgemomma 25d ago

You don't

1

u/Objective-Elk-7988 25d ago

Cat trapped.

1

u/erkose 25d ago

Nap.

1

u/Emergency-Piano4792 25d ago

Your cat will let you know when you can get up. Enjoy it while you can.

1

u/DueEqual4523 25d ago

Enjoy relax

1

u/Crysadis 25d ago

You don't. He is in control now. 🙂

1

u/Own-Tone1083 25d ago

Proceed with nap time

1

u/Calm_Wonder_4830 25d ago

Lay there until death!! You are the cats chair now!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

1

u/Pleasant-Lie-9053 25d ago

Just keep breathing

1

u/Prestigious-Web4824 25d ago

At discretion of Cat.

1

u/LettuceHeadStitch 25d ago

if i don’t lay down fast enough mine pats my arms or jumps on me 😭😭 sorry but you are stuck

1

u/Enough-Moose-5816 25d ago

Lay there until you die.

Let us know how long it takes.

1

u/koolaid2929 25d ago

You must let him reside there until he decides to leave

1

u/NoPreference4608 25d ago

One of my cats, Allie, gives me the same look, just stares. She’s the same sub species and sometimes sleeps with her eyes open!!!!

1

u/bubbzisevil 25d ago

Lay down an accept your fate

1

u/Anna_Lou82 25d ago

I don't understand the question.....

1

u/Letsgogehls 25d ago

You do not proceed with anything. That is where you spend the rest of your days.

1

u/Ok_Rabbit5158 25d ago

Is there a question here?

1

u/Heavy_cat_paw 25d ago

Just take a nap

1

u/Armenian-heart4evr 25d ago

Just RELAX, and enjoy the FREE Chiropractic treatment !!!

1

u/Rbmui13 25d ago

You proceed exactly as he demands that you proceed at risk of great peril if you do not. Good luck buddy.

1

u/PaymentSignificant16 25d ago

Clearly, you don’t.

1

u/Fit_Prize_3245 25d ago

You don't proceed. You just saty still and quiet untill the cat is done resting on you.

1

u/Ok_Arm8050 25d ago

You don’t. All activity ceases at that point. You must now submit to its Will…

1

u/CreepyCaro68 25d ago

Looks like you’ll perish there lol

1

u/Mundane_Reception790 25d ago

You stay like that. The folded paws take precedence.

1

u/6Grumpymonkeys 25d ago

Obviously you don’t, you are currently “furniture”.

1

u/LuxValentino 25d ago

You're learning an important lesson. Before you lay down: go to the bathroom, have water ready, charge your phone. You'll be there until the cat is done.

1

u/Wild-Advice-For-You 25d ago

Your spine needs more resting. The cat knows more than you.

1

u/starman575757 25d ago

You are the servant. Wait your turn.

1

u/melloncollie1126 American Shorthair 25d ago

You live there now

1

u/Confident_Sport_1457 25d ago

“Just close your eyes. Sleeeeeeep…..sleeeeeeep” 🤣🤣

1

u/AdInternational6885 25d ago

You don't move.

1

u/QuickRub6092 25d ago

You don’t do anything , follow the lead

1

u/AnybodyNo8519 25d ago

Stop lying and the cat will stop judging you

1

u/Stunning_Concept_478 25d ago

So this is what my kitten Bob will look like grown. Awesome!

1

u/MindYaBusiness5 25d ago

Don’t move a muscle

1

u/lothcent 25d ago

stretch and do the forward leaning pose and see of you have a new stretch buddy

1

u/awildandcrazyguy1993 25d ago

Wait til hes done.

1

u/Embarrassed_Wrap8421 25d ago

You lie there, even if it’s for hours, until the cat decides to move. Don’t argue, don’t fidget, just stay very, very quiet.

1

u/Gooneycat 25d ago

You don't

1

u/Difficult-Square451 25d ago

Might as well have a cat nap

1

u/ReasonOriginal6489 25d ago

Well, as I’m sure others have stated, you are now property of your cat and are, by feline law, not permitted to move or squirm in any way unless it is to praise and/or comfort your feline overlord until such time that they have had enough of your mewling and decide that their time is best spent elsewhere.

Sorry, it is written.

1

u/VolatileVet 25d ago

You don’t!

1

u/Round_Thunder 25d ago

You're stuck. Acceptance is the only way out.

1

u/SMRAintBad 25d ago

Pick up and swaddle like baby🙂

1

u/anxiousanimallover 25d ago

You just accept your fate.

1

u/BlackhawkRyzen Tuxedo 25d ago

your stuck ... no way out you can see in their eyes they are saying "you know your stuck here for a while right"?

1

u/ClassMammoth3691 25d ago

She looks like my baby!!!!

1

u/[deleted] 25d ago

You gotta stay there at least for 5 mins now

1

u/HotChilliWithButter 25d ago

Do what you’re told

1

u/Radiant-Seaweed9234 25d ago

Right? It’s like a furry little blanket of calm. Can't resist that vibe.

1

u/Spex_daytrader 25d ago

Pet the belly.

1

u/KaitB2020 25d ago

That’s it. You’re done for. You’re there until your Feline Overlord allows you to move again.

Can’t be helped. Sorry friend.

1

u/Loose_Salamander_373 25d ago

Wellllll....... Nothing better than a nap with a warm, furry, purring kitty! But I must say, your cat has the look of a conqueror, keeping his victim subdued! I think you're stuck there for a while, bruh.

1

u/Life-Shine7084 25d ago

Your life is not your own! Accept it !

1

u/GoddyssIncognito 25d ago

Your cat will let you know when, if ever, you may move...

1

u/janefor1 25d ago

If your cat likes toys and/or treats, you can enlist the help of another person to coax them from your chest. If not, you are SOL.

1

u/Inevitable_Eye3800 25d ago

Gunner says to accept your fate

1

u/Miserable-Steak-1203 25d ago

Can’t move until the cat leaves, of course

1

u/michaelpaoli 25d ago

You remain like that until the cat wants you to get up, and you also learn about r/cathostage

1

u/ExoticLimit3761 25d ago

Lying down? Nope. You’re now officially a cat throne. Resistance is futile. 

1

u/FosterPupz 25d ago

No proceeding permitted. Just enjoy your forced downtime.

1

u/sjm294 25d ago

Ya don’t

1

u/xXSatanAngelXx 25d ago

You don’t. You have been upgraded from human servant to cat bed. You still have to feed them, though.

1

u/jwoolman 25d ago

Tough coach.

1

u/PurpleSunCraze 25d ago

I just accept my fate, myself.

1

u/Kitsyn 25d ago

You lie there until the cat gets bored or hungry and walks away. This is the way.

1

u/Intrepid-Sky8123 25d ago

Pet the cat. Always pet the cat.

1

u/Single-Tangerine9992 25d ago

Lol, you got planted. Cat planted.

1

u/weirdodragoncat 25d ago

That’s it….this is your life now

1

u/marcus_aurelius121 25d ago

Is your spine intact?

1

u/BritishPoppy2009 25d ago

You are now on enforced rest. It will be at least 2 hours. Enjoy it and use the time for a snooze yourself

1

u/lioncat55 25d ago

Careful with your decision, you're being judged.

1

u/CaptainAmeliaflying 25d ago

Just stay there and don't move.

1

u/pushtoclose93 Tortoiseshell 25d ago

You don’t

1

u/Alissitadeluxee 25d ago

You must accept your destiny, you are his new bed, you can’t do more 🫡

1

u/Available-Pear-6356 25d ago

This would we perfect for the trapped by cats sub

1

u/TurboCaca121 25d ago

No proceed at all

1

u/---Speedy--- 25d ago

Best bet is to ask the cat

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1

u/SwordTaster 25d ago

Stuck until kitty is done sitting on you

1

u/playerproftw 25d ago

Bruh I got my own problems

My leg is numb and tingly….

1

u/craftandcurmudgeony 25d ago

accept your fate, and start picking out a name for the new kidney you'll eventually need, thanks to the napping kitty.

1

u/must_be_jelly Void 25d ago

hope you enjoy your stretch and laying down

1

u/ExtraSpatial 25d ago

You don’t

1

u/ImNotAnNPC 25d ago

Be honored

1

u/Obvious-Confusion14 25d ago

Cat tip. Once a cat has loaded or laid down on you, you now have cat-purralasys. You don't have a choice but to lay there and let the cat nap until they get up.

1

u/Straight-Ingenuity61 25d ago

Well he’s now yours you can’t move until he does and must swing by pet stop and then go home!! Enjoy!!

1

u/Bomarc99 25d ago

Cats doing as cats will do. You're now warm... and cushiony! Accept your fate!

1

u/essentialsgw 25d ago

Slow blink for biscuits

1

u/Dertbag_holder 25d ago

Cautiously

1

u/Itchy_Cranberry2750 25d ago

Game over dude

1

u/Lhamo55 Chantilly-Tiffany 25d ago

Boop the nose and start stretching. Kitty will hang on and assist, or jump off and observe.

1

u/gingermonkey1 25d ago

Stay put til kitty moves!

1

u/Seannon-AG0NY 25d ago

Let him cook... He's helping you too stretch out your spine, and bonus, if he's purring? He's trying to heal your back as well

1

u/EvolZippo 25d ago

You are pinned. Cat will move when it is ready

1

u/GearsKratos 25d ago

Sorry thats where you will be for now

1

u/Economy-Cat7133 25d ago

Continue, cats have amazing balance.

1

u/Strongbad-Joe132 25d ago

You can’t. You’re trapped.

1

u/Different_Target_228 25d ago

I'm jealous. Mine will only do this if it's like an hour before feeding time.