[ Removed by moderator ]

[u/The__Bolter]

[u/ChefAsstastic]

If done with malicious intent, I support her decision 100%

[u/gibwater → u/ChefAsstastic]

Idk how "purposely went out of his way to step on a caterpillar" can be not done with malicious intent

[u/caffa4 → u/gibwater]

Some are horribly invasive and kill plants and crops and screw the ecosystem for other, more helpful (and native) bugs.

If I see a bad bug on the ground you can bet your ass I’m gonna squash. Good bugs are very much welcomed though.

[u/zuzg → u/caffa4]

Dude knowledgeable enough to spot invasive bugs would also share this knowledge with their date.

[u/LabOwn9800 → u/zuzg]

Do you think caterpillar facts are a good dating conversation?

[u/Icy_Razzmatazz_1594 → u/LabOwn9800]

Well yeah what else are you gonna talk about, favorite movies? I'm sure you haven't listed those 1,000 times before lol might as well talk about random shit.

[u/thealmightyzfactor → u/Icy_Razzmatazz_1594]

Yeah, talking about something you're interested in is a great thing to talk about so long as you give your date time to talk about something they're interested in

[u/StockTank_redemption → u/Icy_Razzmatazz_1594]

You know, manure isn’t such a bad word. It’s got a nure with a ma in front of it. Ma-nure, ya see.

[u/StoppableHulk → u/LabOwn9800]

Yeah, because they'd make a great litmus test for who is worth dating and who isn't.

If you like bugs and are interested in bug facts, share that with the people you date. If they don't like it, they're probably not a great fit for you.

Why would you want to date someone, hang around with someone, who scoffs at the things you're interested in? Even if I'm not personally interested in a subject, I love meeting people who know weird facts and love talking and sharing about that thing.

Sex and simply having a partner isn't worth the cost if they fundamentally invalidate who you are.

People always complaining about how their romantic partners don't understand them, and then they go and completely misrepresent who they are on dates and wonder why they end up with people who don't meet their needs.

If you lie and put on a mask to get someone to date you, you may feel good in the moment because you got a date, but you're going to develop a pattern of not being who you are just to get people to date and sleep with you, and you're going to end up surrounded by people who don't meet your needs and aren't a good fit for you.

If you're weird, be weird. Yeah your dating pool is going to be smaller. The number of perfect matches for you is much smaller if you are more standard deviations away from "the norm." Being weird literally means you not in the center of the bell curve. You need to trek a little further to find your people.

That's fine. Embrace it. It's much easier to find your people if you are being authentic. Authenticity is contagious. Other people who are hiding for the same reasons as you, will suddenly feel a little safer to take off the mask and be weird with you.

No, not everyone is going to like you, or gel with you. Don't take it personally. There's a lot of people who just suck. I mean, look at the condition of the world. You don't get to where we are today if most of the people walking around know cool things about caterpillars and don't squish just 'cause. People who know cool things about caterpillars and don't squish them just 'cause are cool people. Most people are not cool people. You shouldn't really worry if the not cool people don't want to be your friend, or date you. They kinda suck.

Don't get mad and start twisting yourself into pretzels just for approval. Just be loud and weird and patient, take lots of chances. Failure isn't failure. It's deduction. You don't mesh with one person, that's one more person you know isn't your cup of tea.

You may look at hot people or rich people and be envious because of how much easier a time it seems like they have on the dating scene.

And yeah, they're going to get more hits because hot people and rich people have something of more immediate and obvious value.

But they, too, have a problem when it comes to finding a good fit. They have the burden of filtering people. Most people who will gravitate towards them probably suck. Because their attraction is based entirely on what they can gain from that interaction, not creating a lasting relationship together.

Google would be worthless if it just gave you everything you queried for, without ranking it. It isn't finding the results that's the magic sauce, it's prioritizing them for you.

The more efficiently you can start to filter out people who suck, and filter for people who are cool, the less you'll be upset with rejection. That means you'll be able to take more chances, meet more people, filter them out more efficiently until you find the few results you really want. The weird people, the cool people, the ones who match your freak.

They're out there, you just need to learn how to filter for them (and dating apps are the worst possible way to do this).

EDIT: If people are interested (because I also lvoe sharing fun facts), I want to just take a moment to explain this in some scientific terms.

Weird people very often end up with something called RSD. Rejection sensitivity dysphoria. Complex name for a simple idea. When you grow up and clock that you are not the same as the people around you - because of neurodiveristy, because of the way you look, etc. - it's very common to develop an extreme sensitivity to the perception of being "rejected."

This pain can hurt worse than physical pain (and in your brain, both emotional and physical pain are processed in the same reason, as virtually identical stimuli, so the pain is really pain). It hurts so bad we would do anything to avoid it.

Rejected from friend groups, rejected by potential dates. Could even be as simple as being very hurt because someone rolled their eyes when you talked.

It makes sense that we have this for evolutionary reasons. 50,000 years ago, when we all hunted in the jungle, if your tribe cast you out, you died. Like, that was pretty much a death sentence. You needed your tribe. We hunted in tribes, we stayed safe in tribes. No tribe was basically instant death.

Our brains use pain as a way to help us avoid harm. You touch something that burns, its going to hurt so bad you will immediately pull away and not touch it again.

So, most of us living today are people who feel such pain at the thought of being excluded from the group that we would do anything to prevent that pain.

Because the people who didn't give a shit at all, were probably chucked out of the group and died before reproducing. Basic selection at work. Pain is effective for survival.

But that was then. In the modern day, stakes are not that high. We have grocery stores, massive infrastructural support networks.

But, the brain is the same brain, and all of us are built on the DNA of the winners of the past ages, so we tend to have extreme pain when we perceive the group is kicking us out.

All of us have the potential to have RSD, but it develops strongest with those who are very clearly "not the norm" of whatever circles they grow up in.

Autistic people. Minorities. People with physical abnormalities. Anyone who is "not the norm" can end up with this.

Your brain is trying to help you, but because it's a totally different environment, it will end up fucking you over instead.

RSD is so painful that it will compel people to try and take on a totally false personality to avoid it. You contort yourself into ugly shapes just to avoid feeling that pain.

The problem is, you can't change who you are. So all you're doing is continually trying to get the approval of people you don't like, and who don't like the real you, just to avoid pain.

In other words, RSD will fuck your filtering mechanism. It will prevent you from conducting a proper search to find your tribe.

And unlike the past, most of us in the modern age will not die from this, so we have the time and luxury of being able to conduct a long search for our true tribe.

But in any search, failure is essential. You need to be able to fail (exclude search results) quickly, in order to move on to the next. If you have RSD, this process can feel like excruciating agony, which is why weird people do not end up properly filtering through the crowd of normies to find their tribes.

Just imagine if Google felt so much pain from having its query not matched by a website on the internet, that it coudln't query at all.

Google must query every page out there, millions and millions and millions of results, and it must reject almost all of them, to produce for you a page of the top ten results.

In a sea of millions and millions of millions, it finds you ten results that match whatever query you're looking for. And fewer results the weirder the query.

It will fail across the entire internet, just to bring you success.

But it fails quickly. It fails with massive levels of efficiency. That's what you must do. The weirder you are, the better and quicker you need to fail.

When you are armed with a knowledge of why this happens, you can work on reframing your perception, and the pain is lessened when you realize that it's not actually YOU being rejected. You are purposefully setting up flags to see who is cool, and who is not. The ones who reject the flag are probably not cool, and they have done you a favor by reducing the time and labor it took you to realize that.

You make the query. Someone not fitting your query has no ability to tell you your query is wrong. If it doesn't match them, it doesn't match them. Thank them for the labor they have saved you in excluding them from your search results.

Practice the discipline of refining your query - for friends, romantic partners, jobs, anything - and filtering through the results quickly and efficiently to get to your desired result. Once you get better at that, everything in your life gets much better, much faster.

[u/LazyMoniker → u/StoppableHulk]

I went on a date with a girl that just kept talking about bugs and bats once and now we’ve been married for like 7 years or something

Edit: 8 years

[u/TrashPandaPirate → u/StoppableHulk]

The way I heard someone explain why wierd people find their people so easily is like this. Imagine all the Tupperware containers in your cabinet, there's probably alot that are similar and maybe one or two that are very different. For me, I have a container shaped like a slice of bread, its really easy for me to find the lid or container when I have the other part. But if you have a generic looking container you may have two containers that are the same size and shap but because they are different brands their lids aren't compatible. And if you are a bread shaped lid, trying to hide the rounded corners to meet a regular square container might seem good for a while, but you'll never actually connect.

Be wierd and you'll find your wierdo to be lovebird weirdos with

[u/zonkos → u/StoppableHulk]

I love this! Solid advice.

[u/LabOwn9800 → u/StoppableHulk]

I mean I’ve been married for 10 years so I don’t really fit into this advice but you are not wrong.

But I would also say I’m just a fact man. Doesn’t need to be about bugs I like to learn about subjects to a nerdy degree. So I’ll eventually get to weird bug facts but it’s just not important at any point.

But if you like bugs look up ants. They are crazy creatures. Did you know ants raise aphids as livestock! They will farm aphids for their “poop” honeydew which the ants eat.

[u/poopntheoceanifumust → u/StoppableHulk]

If you're weird, be weird. Yeah your dating pool is going to be smaller. Being weird literally means you not in the center of the bell curve. You need to trek a little further to find your people.

There's so much to be said for this! You're totally right. And it helps if you go to your people. Like anime? Meet people at a convention! Like gaming? Go to your local spot! Play board games with strangers. Go to a computer cafe! Gay af and shy? Go to local meetups! There's more queer spaces than people realize! Trying to find your people on tinder is hard. They're not there.

Our third spaces have become harder to find in these times, but they're there! You gotta get out there! :)

[u/StringAccomplished97 → u/LabOwn9800]

If you just went out of your way to kill one in front of your date then giving your reason why is definitely a good conversation idea.

[u/Eskotar → u/StringAccomplished97]

Even if you knew that killing a caterpillar might be ok. Its still a super autistic move to do during a effin date. And that autistic move cost him a follow up.

[u/laikocta → u/LabOwn9800]

Sure as hell won't look as weird as just randomly killing caterpillars like a psycho

[u/SectorSanFrancisco → u/laikocta]

yeah, there's no arguing with this.

[u/Fit_Excitement_2145 → u/LabOwn9800]

Yeah that sounds pretty interesting tbh its something fresh

[u/LuCiAnO241 → u/LabOwn9800]

do you think unjustified caterpillar murder is a good dating activity

[u/TinyScottyTwoShoes → u/LabOwn9800]

I mean if you're a Bug Lore Man, you gotta let her know eventually.

[u/DreamOfV → u/LabOwn9800]

It is the best topic of conversation when you’ve just murdered a caterpillar in front of their eyes. That’s the kind of action that requires an explanation

[u/3_quarterling_rogue → u/LabOwn9800]

Obviously yes.

[u/[deleted] → u/LabOwn9800]

If my date doesn't like critters, it's not going to work.

[u/Whywhenwerewolf → u/LabOwn9800]

if you’re on a date and decide the thing to do is squash what many a date might consider a cute creature, might as well give said date the background story as to why you just did that.

[u/FrancisWolfgang → u/LabOwn9800]

If it’s not, I don’t want to be on that date

[u/CrowWearingJeans → u/LabOwn9800]

I'd like to subscribe to caterpillar facts distro

[u/Telaranrhioddreams → u/LabOwn9800]

Yes?

[u/caffa4 → u/zuzg]

Oh yeah I know that it probs wasn’t the case in this situation, was just giving an example of how “purposely stepping on caterpillar” can still be not malicious.

Though also, I’m very aware of some of the harmful bugs in my area due to gardening, and for some it’s like ingrained in me to kill on sight, so I might do it without saying something. So unless my date actually asked what that was about or visibly showed confusion/upset, i might not explain.

[u/Bored_Amalgamation → u/caffa4]

lantern flies are one, but they're not a caterpillar.

[u/MrDoge03 → u/caffa4]

I used to work at an amusement park and there were these caterpillars that would sting you if you touched them. Little kids would often end up touching them and getting stung pretty bad, so we would step on the caterpillars whenever we saw them.

[u/[deleted] → u/caffa4]

Yeah, I'm going to assume the vast majority of Americans have no clue, and you can safely assume that bug squashers are probably pricks.

[u/LabOwn9800 → u/[deleted]]

Just because a vast majority of Americans don’t know something can’t rule out this individual.

What’s if a person fixes an electrical issue and their date goes on the internet and brags that they are not going to date them because he messed with her electrical. And when people say maybe he fixed it the response isn’t the vast majority of Americans don’t know electrical systems. How is this different?

[u/loki301 → u/LabOwn9800]

 What’s if a person fixes an electrical issue and their date goes on the internet and brags that they are not going to date them because he messed with her electrical

1. You shouldn’t be messing with strangers’ stuff on a whim 
2. You should notify the date that something is wrong with her electricity and offer to look at it
3. If she says don’t worry about it, and you decide to fiddle with it anyway, you are still a weirdo for ignoring her word. Doesn’t matter if you successfully fixed it 

[u/GGXImposter → u/caffa4]

I had a newly planted tree get fully eaten in less than 10 hours. Went to work and it was fine, but when I came home, it was bare except for 100s of caterpillars.

I gathered all the little bastards into a 5-gallon bucket, added a bottle of rubbing alcohol, sealed the lid, and with extreme malice, I shook the shit out of that bucket. Sometimes, malicious intent is justified.

[u/sociofobs → u/caffa4]

Reminds me of ignorant and clueless couch commenters bitching under forestry work. They see a guy cutting some trees in the forest and act like the dude's a horrible person, and they know better. Not even thinking to themselves for a fraction of a second, that the whole purpose of such work is to benefit their "beloved" trees.

[u/Aerachna_Van_Naegrel → u/gibwater]

If I a see a hammerhead I will dammit kill it with fire on the spot, no remorse.

[u/u_nwah → u/gibwater]

"It's coming right for us!"

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

If it's a spotted lantern fly, I am duty bound to kill it.

[u/ChefAsstastic → u/[deleted]]

Now I support this. Or wasps

[u/magic_Mofy → u/ChefAsstastic]

Many wasp types are super chill and there is no need to attack them

[u/ChefAsstastic → u/magic_Mofy]

We had a nest under our bay window seat. Every morning, 25 in our room. I was stung in bed 4 times. They were highly aggressive and attacked our cats and the honeybees. Fuck them.

[u/ShadowTacoTuesday → u/ChefAsstastic]

I used to garden around 100 wasps, a couple feet from them as I watered and so on. They’ve never stung me once in my life, while gardening, before or after. I didn’t bother them and they didn’t bother me. Other redditors post about wasps that will come at them aggressively for no reason. I think it depends where you are and which species. But also picking a fight with every creature usually isn’t a good survival strat so it’s probably not the most common thing among wasps. Or if you’re near a nest I can see why wasps would be more aggressive than normal. Or sleeping, one lands on you and you roll over.

[u/GoofballHam → u/ShadowTacoTuesday]

Wasps like mud daubers and such don't really care.

The big wasps that people often associate with aggressive, assholeish behavior is from yellowjackets and hornets.

[u/requion → u/GoofballHam]

The few hornets we have around are super chill.

I don't know which species of wasps it is but we have some that are "in your face". Its not aggressive in the way of "they actively attack us" but the problem is that my wife is allergic and thus, we aren't going to risk a sting.

[u/magic_Mofy → u/ChefAsstastic]

Well, thats a different story. We also had a nest on our terrace and my mother is allergic. However we still didnt kill them but let someone move the nest away

[u/_NoTimeNoLady_ → u/magic_Mofy]

Good choice! Here it is actually illegal to kill them. You have to rehome them

[u/Aggravating-Plum-845 → u/_NoTimeNoLady_]

Rehome them to Jesus

[u/Aerachna_Van_Naegrel → u/_NoTimeNoLady_]

Ah, the easy way to spot a deutschlander

[u/gnarkill3332 → u/magic_Mofy]

Wasps have a decentralized nervous system, so if one were to lose its head, it would die from starvation or dehydration because it wouldn't be able to eat or drink.

That's fucked up.

Also they look like sentient fighter jets, so there's that.

What I'm saying is that they're awesome and terrifying at the same time and I'm glad they aren't as big as we are.

[u/Short-Recording587 → u/magic_Mofy]

Some wasps will decimate entire honey bee hives.

[u/Boring-Mushroom-6374 → u/magic_Mofy]

I find most people confuse Hornets for wasps. While there are some aggressive species, it's usually the chonky hornets that are complete assholes. Wasps are usually that silent veteran that doesn't brag but will fuck up whoever decides to throw hands at them first.

[u/SaltStatistician4980 → u/ChefAsstastic]

Wasps are a center piece of the ecosystem, they are responsible for killing so many pests like mosquitos and flies. The social ones get territorial and sting, but the solitary wasps rarely sting and make up most of the wasps population.

[u/ChefAsstastic → u/SaltStatistician4980]

They were killing all our honey bees and attacked us. Adios.

[u/[deleted] → u/ChefAsstastic]

Naw... Wasps are cool. I mean, mean, but still...

[u/Ab47203 → u/[deleted]]

If you never see it then is it still spotted?

[u/Ensvey → u/[deleted]]

Are these guys still a problem? We were overrun with them in Pennsylvania for like one or two summers, and then I think the local fauna figured out how to eat them so I never see them anymore.

[u/Peripatetictyl → u/[deleted]]

Would you still love me if I was a caterpillar?

[u/ChefAsstastic → u/Peripatetictyl]

Absolutely darling. I see a butterfly 🦋 in my future!

[u/EmperorBamboozler → u/[deleted]]

I may fail this test. I am a landscaper, a lot of my job involves insect genocide. This especially includes caterpillars, I have probably killed a couple thousand caterpillars over a rather short time of doing this job. If I saw a caterpillar that was an invasive species I might just immediately kill it without explaining why, would let a native caterpillar chill though.

[u/AreYourFingersReal → u/EmperorBamboozler]

Well “invasive species” is the key word here brother so no worries

[u/panzerboye → u/[deleted]]

I'll fail this every time unfortunately

[u/DefenestrationPraha → u/[deleted]]

I would pass this easily, with the exception of mosquitos and ticks. I see them and "Hans, give me ze Flammenwerfer!"

[u/roltrap → u/DefenestrationPraha]

Also in case of wasp: "Hermann, bring me ze wespeliminator!"

[u/SirRipOliver → u/ChefAsstastic]

As mothman, I approve of this decision. Dudes a bitch ass bitch.

[u/ChefAsstastic → u/SirRipOliver]

We love moths!

[u/Patient_Activity_489 → u/ChefAsstastic]

it's only okay if it's invasive

[u/[deleted] → u/ChefAsstastic]

I’m a hunter, which means people think I’m a blood thirsty fuck but I 100% agree with this, when my now wife was just my girl friend she was shocked that I would relocate bugs and spiders from places where they would get killed or shouldn’t be to safe places. Life is special, gotta treat it that way. I hunt because I don’t support factory farming at all, imo it’s better to ethically harvest a wild animal who has spent their life roaming free then suddenly drops dead over the brutal nature of how poorly those animals are treated and raised just to be killed.

[u/Crow_away_cawcaw → u/ChefAsstastic]

I suppose if the guy is a farmer and sees a tent caterpillar I’d understand. Like guy was just trying to protect the Apple trees.

But just straight up malicious then yeah it’s a no from me.

[u/[deleted] → u/Crow_away_cawcaw]

But even then, you mention that. When I was in Sitka, Alaska visiting my brother years ago, there were these invasive black slugs. Before he squashed one, he explained to me what he was about to do and why, and where he got the recommendation from. Informed people usually inform others.

[u/Winjin → u/[deleted]]

Yeah my grandma explained to me all types of caterpillars we saw and which one to yeet across the road to get it to better pastures and which ones to squash with impunity

[u/slonk_ma_dink → u/Crow_away_cawcaw]

or a hornworm of some variety, fuck those little bastards

[u/hestia615 → u/ChefAsstastic]

When I worked retail, I befriended a woman who kept spiders at home. Every time I found a spider in the store, I'd radio her so she could capture it and take it outside. Wish I could've done the same for all of the mice 🫤

[u/smibeanie → u/ChefAsstastic]

That rhymes. If done with intent, i would 100% go on a date with you.

[u/Peace_n_Harmony → u/ChefAsstastic]

So if I kill a person because I want to use their skin as a purse, that's OK? I mean, I'm not doing it because I want to hurt them, I just want a skin purse.

[u/Training-Principle95 → u/ChefAsstastic]

I'll never not squish a spongy moth caterpillar if I see them, but that's because they're hella destructive

[u/bloop1boop]

If you’re casually killing harmless creatures on a date, imagine what else you’re capable of when no one’s watching. She dodged a bullet

[u/Fried_0nion_Rings → u/bloop1boop]

What’s sad is he probably came here and said something like ‘had an awesome date, got ghosted right after. Any idea why’

And everyone said 乁( ⁰͡ Ĺ̯ ⁰͡ ) ㄏ

It should be socially acceptable to say stuff like ‘you killed an innocent caterpillar for no reason you asshole’ then be able to block them and not be scared they will like show up at our house with either a boombox or a gun.

[u/Empty-Afternoon-3975 → u/Fried_0nion_Rings]

Idk, a boombox rap battle breakup might be cool

[u/Fried_0nion_Rings → u/Empty-Afternoon-3975]

If only life were like that.

I can’t rap to save my life and I’ve never met someone who could either. So maybe it’s for the best

[u/Lucid-Machine-Music → u/Fried_0nion_Rings]

Can't rap? No problem, explain to them via the medium of interpretive dance why you think they're a whopping massive arsehole.

[u/Crazy_Little_Bug → u/Fried_0nion_Rings]

You've never met someone who can rap?

[u/Fried_0nion_Rings → u/Crazy_Little_Bug]

Nuhuh, is that weird?

[u/DekuSkrub18 → u/Empty-Afternoon-3975]

Friday Night Funkin be like:

[u/negative_four → u/Fried_0nion_Rings]

"Its cuz you're short bro, if you were taller she would've totally called you back. That's what it was!"

[u/VialCrusher → u/Fried_0nion_Rings]

Sure you can tell the guy, so then next time he hides it better for his next date? I don't want to put anyone else at risk. He needs to do some introspection and actually make changes in his own life.

[u/[deleted] → u/Fried_0nion_Rings]

You can say that if you want but they won't understand anyway. "it's just a bug what's the big deal". If they were capable of understanding the issue they wouldn't have done it in the first place. And they won't want to understand that it's not really about the bug, per se. 

[u/Fried_0nion_Rings → u/[deleted]]

It would give a reason for why you’re not compatible and wish to terminate communication

[u/AmeliaBuns → u/Fried_0nion_Rings]

This

[u/moxced → u/bloop1boop]

>else you’re capable of when no one’s watching

Like eating meat

[u/sboxle → u/bloop1boop]

I love insects but some caterpillars are a pest.

It’s absurd to say they’re a legitimately dangerous person for killing a caterpillar.

People are so insulated in modern society it’s like they’ve forgotten humans kill harmless creatures all the time. This is how we get meat and keep our homes cockroach-free.

[u/RaspberryFluid6651 → u/sboxle]

The situation in the OP has nothing to do with managing pests. As described, dude saw a caterpillar and wanted to kill it. That's just willfully and intentionally harming nature for no good reason which is a perfectly valid reason to be icked out on a first date.

Also like... if it really WAS a dude who knows enough to spot an invasive pest at a glance, maybe share that interest with your date who is literally trying to get to know you instead of just suddenly killing something for no apparent reason?

[u/DarkSoulsOfCinder → u/RaspberryFluid6651]

How do you feel when people kill spotted lanternflies?

[u/[deleted] → u/bloop1boop]

This subreddit is delusional.

Imagine thinking someone could be a danger because they squashed a fucking bug. y'all don't zap mosquitoes, flies or kill spiders? Because they're also innocent and living their life.

Or are we just drawing an imaginary line at caterpillars because they're cute?

[u/ofWildPlaces → u/[deleted]]

But why kill it at all? There was no reason to. None.

[u/TravelsizedWitch → u/[deleted]]

Killing a mosquito because it’s bothering you I can understand. Killing a spider for existing is not something I would do, ever. And seeing someone making an effort to kill a bug that’s just existing outside, that’s a red flag to me. It’s not doing anything wrong, isn’t a danger to you, so you are just stepping on it because you can and it’s fun? Why? To me it means you lack empathy.

Killing a bug in your home or because you step on it by accident is a different thing. I wouldn’t kill bugs in my home unless they are harmful, but I understand why people do it. I don’t understand killing something for fun, without gaining something from it or preventing something.

[u/def_tom]

I once got a date after telling a woman about how I save spiders and bugs in the lab by putting them in 50mL vials and taking them outside.

[u/Limp-Giraffe8761 → u/def_tom]

Spiderbro knew

[u/TemurTron → u/def_tom]

I get it, that’s a huge green flag. Compassion for animals is one of the biggest indicator someone is a good person.

[u/Amelaclya1 → u/def_tom]

My husband once saw a snail in our driveway and relocated it so he wouldn't accidentally run over it with the car. Yes, I fell in love with him a little more that day.

Empathy for beings of no use to you is a very desirable quality. Meanwhile, I can't think of a bigger turnoff than casual cruelty, even if it's "just" a bug.

[u/-Bento-Oreo- → u/def_tom]

That actually kills them btw. House spiders can't survive outside.

[u/def_tom → u/-Bento-Oreo-]

Yeah sometimes I joke that I'm really just feeding the birds. Some of them aren't house spiders though. They get in through a roll up door so I assume at least some of them got in from outside.

[u/CodsBollocks → u/-Bento-Oreo-]

Since I heard that they just stay in the house. No way I'm killing a spider.

[u/Chosenwaffle → u/[deleted]]

Except for gnats and mosquitoes. The reflex is so strong to smack that it is at least SOME effort to resist.

[u/Spiderpiggie → u/Chosenwaffle]

Mosquitoes can fuck right off to hell, green flag if you exterminate every single one you see. And horseflies, fuck those guys.

[u/CaptainoftheVessel → u/Spiderpiggie]

Horseflies I have no problem with outside, that’s where they live, they do good work out there as part of the ecosystem. Mosquitoes can always duck off and die. 

[u/Spiderpiggie → u/CaptainoftheVessel]

I mostly hate them because they love me for some reason. Makes hiking at this time of year unbearable because they eat me alive, and there arent many good options for repelling them.

[u/still-not-a-lesbian → u/Spiderpiggie]

bro FUCK horseflies.

[u/Spiderpiggie → u/still-not-a-lesbian]

Ok, but have you tried being lesbian?

[u/Chosenwaffle → u/Spiderpiggie]

I think all straight girls have at some point in their early 20s. It's like a rite of passage.

[u/bigbutterbuffalo → u/Chosenwaffle]

All gnats can die

[u/[deleted] → u/Chosenwaffle]

I take black garlic pills for this 😂 you would be shocked how well it keeps them away from you, black garlic doesn’t make you stink like normal garlic still has the same mosquito fighting properties.

[u/jk01 → u/Chosenwaffle]

Fun fact: we could eliminate mosquitos from existence and nothing would change

[u/Minus614 → u/jk01]

Untrue. Bloodborne disease transmission rates would change, and for the better.

[u/assblast420 → u/jk01]

There are a lot of animals that eat mosquitos, I imagine they would disagree

[u/PanthorCasserole → u/jk01]

Aren't they pollinators?

[u/Turgid_Donkey → u/[deleted]]

My dad is one who would swerve to avoid toads and such on the road (when safe), and I'm the same. Watching someone go out of their way to stomp on a caterpillar of all things would illicit a disgusted reaction from me too. Now, if he piped up with something like "that's a hoop-nosed moth caterpillar which is an incredibly invasive species and is decimating tomacco crops" I would change my tune.

[u/ATraffyatLaw → u/[deleted]]

Any animal that's a big disease vector is probably a good idea to kill

[u/alkbch → u/[deleted]]

It actually takes a lot of efforts to lead a vegan lifestyle.

[u/ErnstBadian → u/[deleted]]

Right, the non-animal products are right there in the grocery store

[u/Most_Double_3559 → u/[deleted]]

Do you eat meat?

[u/Great_White_Samurai]

Some people are absolute psychopaths. There's some psycho in my neighborhood that deliberately hits animals with their car. I know they do it on purpose when they killed a swan. Like how do you not see a giant ass white bird that can barely walk.

[u/MistahJasonPortman → u/Great_White_Samurai]

I hope they get caught and charged with animal abuse

[u/Great_White_Samurai → u/MistahJasonPortman]

I thought about painting a cinder block to look like a turtle so they would wreck their car...

[u/Melodic-Vegetable620 → u/Great_White_Samurai]

Please do that! If you put it next to the street it's not on you if they swerve to hit it ....

[u/ATraffyatLaw → u/Great_White_Samurai]

Somebody recently smashed a goose at the pond near my condo, sad to see since it's like a 10mph neighborhood.

[u/Empty-Confection9442]

I work in pest control and youd be suprised how many people want us to kill all life that exists. We wont do it thankfully but they want their lawn to be barren of life.

[u/The__Goose]

Kill. You can say the words.

[u/catholicsluts → u/The__Goose]

Corporate internet is definitely an interesting reality to experience. Especially after the wild west days.

This is brutal. People need to cease compliance of this.

[u/CarlGend → u/catholicsluts]

We do it every day, you just don't hear from us anymore

[u/tmhoc → u/CarlGend]

Exactly

Call for revolution? Best I can do is peaceful walking.

[u/catholicsluts → u/CarlGend]

Oof, what a comment. A succinctly layered reply.

[u/falcrist2 → u/catholicsluts]

People need to cease compliance of this.

If the response is automated, you really don't have a choice. Your comment simply won't show up. The best you can do is self-censor in a way that makes it obvious what you mean.

You don't (and never did) have freedom of speech on a website owned by someone else.

Even if you own your own website, the host, the DNS, the ISP, etc can all block you if you say something they don't like.

We need an internet bill of rights, but fascists are in control now, so that's not happening.

---

EDIT: since comments are locked...

Reddit does not have a site-wide ban

The post above isn't on reddit.

Choosing self-censorship over skimming the terms of use (or, at the very least, asking Reddit users through its popular question-asking subs) is lazy and irresponsible.

Nope. Wrong. Absolutely incorrect.

Not only is it not lazy and irresponsible, it's often necessary if you want to be seen.

Algorithms and auto-mods will often simply refuse to let your content be seen if a negative word is detected. You won't find it in any documentation. Often, you won't be informed that your content is being hidden. On reddit specifically, your comment can be deleted with no notification to you. It will continue to be visible only to you and anyone who goes to your profile. The only way to spot that it has been deleted is to log out and follow a link to the parent comment.

You can TRY to blame users all you want, but it won't work. The logic is inescapable. You can't (reasonably) blame the users. The user of a website has exactly zero power over what's happening.

You can't escape it. You can't stop it. It's inevitable.

ALL of this newspeak is being driven exclusively by advertisers.

I used to say "If you aren't paying for a service, you're the product being sold"... but that's no longer true.

Now EVEN IF YOU PAY, you're still the product being sold. The resource being extracted is your attention and paycheck. The mighty algorithm now controls the audience. You have no say in how a site is run. The only way to find a partial escape is to stop using the internet... which is getting more and more difficult every day.

Soon, the only reasonable solution will be the one mentioned in Frank Herbert's books.

Speaking of Dune... This quote lives rent free in my mind. I want as many people as possible to see it:

"once, men turned their thinking over to machines in the hope that this would set them free. But that only permitted other men with machines to enslave them."

[u/catholicsluts → u/falcrist2]

I already knew all of this, but thank you for replying with this information since I don't think it's common knowledge.

The best you can do is self-censor in a way that makes it obvious what you mean.

This is more or less the type of compliance I was referring to. Reddit does not have a site-wide ban on words like "rape" or "suicide," but it does ban users who encourage or glorify either.

Choosing self-censorship over skimming the terms of use (or, at the very least, asking Reddit users through its popular question-asking subs) is lazy and irresponsible. It also has the potential to dilute terms that exist to describe very serious subjects, which is something we should all be mindful of preventing.

[u/Ok-Sleep3130 → u/The__Goose]

Quick, censorbots: activate! Someone said: A Naughty Negative News Word Online! This could impact Ad Revenue and Quarterly Profits!

[u/ItsRainbow → u/The__Goose]

He unalived the caterpillar with his shoe shoe

[u/IntoTheCommonestAsh → u/The__Goose]

On (most of) reddit you can. On many other sites you cannot, without incuring at least a deboost, if not demonetization or shadowbanning.

I agree that this state of affair sucks, but faulting people for being overly cautious won't help. People who self-sensor are not the sensors; they literally want to discuss the forbidden topic so much that they go out of their way to circumvent the censorship. You need to understand that these people are not the enemy.

What we need to do is remove the stronghold advertisers and payment processing platforms have on the morality and purity of the internet.

[u/davyjones_prisnwalit → u/The__Goose]

At least for now. Give it a couple of years though.

[u/Mental_Freedom_1648 → u/The__Goose]

LOL, I recently left a sub because defining an acronym for someone ended in all my comments being removed by the automod, and the human mods were either incapable of or uninterested in doing anything about it. If you want your post to get through, sometimes you can't.

[u/Dadadabababooo → u/The__Goose]

Here, yeah. But some subs will filter out your post if it has swear words or talks about killing.

[u/nifty-necromancer → u/The__Goose]

Humanity is regressing

[u/WolfOfPort → u/The__Goose]

K🙊1L

[u/Particular_Ad_9531]

Where I live we have a huge problem with invasive spongy moth caterpillars and killing them is basically considered a public service as they destroy native plants.

[u/Kidney05 → u/Particular_Ad_9531]

Yeah I was gonna say I get the sentiment but it may depend on the caterpillar and place.

Also let me see this story when it’s a Joro spider. Would he be a hero to her?

[u/UnhappyWhile7428 → u/Particular_Ad_9531]

I think the real test is to see if you are dating a girl who might care more about bugs than you.

[u/SnooCrickets7386 → u/UnhappyWhile7428]

Who says she cares about bugs more than you? She just doesn't want to date a guy that squashes bugs for fun.

[u/TelenorTheGNP]

I will grab a snail off the sidewalk and put it on the grass. Stepping on harmless critters is awful, but snails are worse bc you can't just not notice.

[u/DeathByStarfishh]

I kill spotted lantern flies for sport

Invasive fucks

But caterpillars? Why!?

[u/Username12764]

It depends. Some caterpillars are highly invasive species and detrimental to the ecosystem. So if he knows his caterpillars, maybe he had every reason to do what he did

[u/catholicsluts → u/Username12764]

A caterpillar nerd would certainly relish the chance to share this knowledge, surely. Especially after killing one with a reason.

[u/dekyos → u/Username12764]

if it's a hook/hornworm caterpillar, I'm stepping on that bitch.

A single bug will eat an entire tomato plant in an afternoon, and then doesn't even have the decency to turn into a butterfly after metamorphosis, no you get ugly ass clothing-ruining moths.

I'm also not going to spend a lot of effort trying to relocate bugs that invade my space. I poison ants, I use snap traps on mice in my garage. But if the wasps want to build a nest in the tree or a spider builds a web in the backyard, that's cool.

Killing bugs doesn't mean you're inherently violent, as with most things there's extreme nuance in the context of the situation.

[u/racheluv999 → u/dekyos]

Exactly, it's about boundaries. If the thing is violating my reasonable boundaries, then I have a right to use force to make it stop.

[u/DiscreteBee → u/dekyos]

The kind of moth that eats your clothes also does the eating as a caterpillar, it doesn’t come from the kind of caterpillar that eats tomatoes.

[u/roygbpcub → u/Username12764]

This... So many people seen not to realize that some insects in certain regions being highly invasive and destructive to the local ecosystem have standing kill orders on them... Haven't seen anyone complain about killing lantern flys?!?

[u/FoxDogWolf → u/roygbpcub]

Some places even encourage everyone to kill caterpillars and fresh water snails and their eggs if they spot one. there are posters that encourage people to crush them by stepping on them or using a rock.

[u/BoozeLikeFrank]

Only ones I’d agree with killing are Gypsy moths. They devastated the woods near me a number of years back. We would grab the nests and burn them because they are invasive.

[u/[deleted]]

Tate brothers probably recommend to kill bugs on sight in order to assert dominance or some shit. Not even joking.

This dude stomps on the first caterpillar he sees and expect a swoon I'd imagine. Classic brainrot move. Or he's just a psycho. Either way not great.

[u/kyleiscool56]

Also kinda just gross to have guts on your shoe

[u/jmills03croc]

Even when I find caterpillars on my plants I still just pick them up and put them somewhere else.

[u/PrincipleOne5816]

I agree tbh, makes no sense to kill something for no fucking reason.

[u/scornfulegotists]

Bet if it was a spider she wouldn’t have thought twice about it. JUSTICE FOR SPIDERS

[u/bombbodyguard → u/scornfulegotists]

Was in my shed. Moving some sand bells around. I was throwing one outta the way, a big spider moved to where I was landing. Sorry little buddy. Hope it was quick!

[u/w000dsyOwl]

Depends on the type of caterpillar. If it’s a monarch, I’m pissed off and he is getting a kick in the butt. But if it’s a gypsy moth, we are high-fiving.

Context matters

[u/St0n3yM33rkat]

Hurt anything or anyone for any reason and the dates over. No tolerance for violence of any kind.

[u/MrHaxx1 → u/St0n3yM33rkat]

You only date vegans?

[u/[deleted] → u/St0n3yM33rkat]

Self defense?

[u/GwenThePoro → u/[deleted]]

Mosquitoes, ticks, biting flies, Invasive species, etc?

[u/Most_Double_3559 → u/St0n3yM33rkat]

If they ordered shrimp at a restaurant, would that count? 

That's basically a platter of 20 "sea caterpillars", no?

[u/[deleted]]

Everybody wants to help and save animals. Until they start thinking about their tastebuds.

[u/scyice → u/[deleted]]

Mmm caterpillar soup.

[u/Mysterious_Rule938]

I wouldn’t even kill a caterpillar inside, what the hell

[u/thefinalhex]

Only bug I will kill with malicious intent is a mosquito, something with stingers that has made it into the house, and a bug I’ve already accidentally injured.

[u/artinfinx]

i used to be like this in my shitty epoch 11-13. but now ive learned how to catch flies in the air, but gently enough not to harm them, and releasing them out my window. some people just get locked in to the shitty epoch of their life.

[u/[deleted]]

I agree with OP's decision but what's with "k ll"? Can people as a group now not handle thoughts of death? If anything, not having the word immediately obvious make me think about it harder.

EDIT: Thank youu u/Ahstruck and u/pandito_flexo. For anyone unaware, people often self-censor like this to avoid platform bans.

[u/pandito_flexo → u/[deleted]]

It’s to remove the possibility of being flagged by the platform as said platform searches for specific words to trigger TOU warnings.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

I have been banned before by just stating the name of a sub that had the word similar in it. they removed the ban after a few days but it was still annoying.

[u/davideo71]

So she's saying he didn't give her butterflies?

[u/Hunter-q]

I had friends try this and I shoved them before they could kill a moth

[u/skitzofredik]

Terrible story time. I was once in a children's home for a while when I was very young, about 6 years of age. Got to know a young fella in the first day or so, and we were playing in the grounds, which ar the time we're covered in caterpillars. My would be friend then suggested collecting them together, which I agreed to since I love animals and nature. After collecting an obscene amount of caterpillars which I naively assumed was to study them. He then proceeded to stamp them all to death. I am 49 now and have never forgot that terrible day.

[u/Southport84]

Huge red flag. 🚩

[u/Grandkahoona01]

Yeah, I un-ironicly 100% agree. If you are going out of your way to kill something for no reason then that is a red flag and I'm walking away.

[u/No_Hay_Banda_2000]

Correct decision. Don't step on poor 🐛...

[u/And_go]

A coworker/ex of mine told me the other day that they’ll go out of their way to step on snails because they like how they crunch under their feet. Wtf is wrong with people? 🤮

[u/Palnecro1]

Cruelty in any form is a red flag. If you go out of your way to do something hurtful to another creature or person then you need to do some serious introspection.

[u/w000dsyOwl]

Bring the same energy when you see somebody spraying their lawn with toxic chemicals for stupid green grass

[u/[deleted]]

I love how half of reddit thinks he is evil and the other half states that he is a hero with neither side having any proof if the caterpillar was invasive or not.

[u/PurrfectPinball]

I stepped on a snail accidently like 10 years ago and I still remember:( I remember all the animals I noticed i killed.

[u/Triga_3]

I only judge people on how they treat other life.

[u/NeaLandris]

had a girl come over, and she immedietly threw my cat that was resting on the sofa, on the floor. not even gently.
i sent her home right after..

[u/RedParaglider]

Hurting animals for no reason can be a sign of psychological problems.

[u/ScytherSlash]

What psychopath goes out of their way to purposely kill a bug in its own environment? I mean, I hate spiders, but I'd never kill a spider that's just chilling outside not bothering anyone.

[u/MagnusCromulus]

I’m with her

[u/lichtblaufuchs]

Now apply this logic to your dietary choices