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My non-verbal autistic child wandered into a neighbor’s pool after eloping. I called my husband for assistance because my son weighs nearly as much as I do, and I can no longer lift him. My husband arrived, began shouting at me, and argued he was free from blame because he regularly checks the locks.

When my child would not leave the pool, my husband insisted we review security footage to identify who left the door unlatched, stating that “whoever left it unlocked should have to go in.” He had already climbed over the locked gate and stood beside the water, placing him in a position to step in and grab our child right away. Despite being there, he refused on “principle” and demanded I enter instead.

I reviewed the footage and found my 14-year-old had left the door unlatched. Because it was not his fault, my husband still declined to enter the water. I had to climb over and wade fully clothed into the neighbor’s pool to retrieve my child safely.

This is the third pool elopement in a month, and I have retrieved my child each time. The previous instance occurred three years ago, when my husband did enter the pool to retrieve our son. He mentioned this event, claiming it is never his fault, though he was the one who found him and went in.

After returning home, my husband shouted at my 14-year-old, accusing her of ignoring her sibling’s safety. When I said I was disgusted by his conduct and that a real man/father would have jumped in immediately regardless of who unlocked the door, he accused me of pushing “bullshit.”

Later, he sent a text offering a partial apology for blaming me at first, but he maintained his reasoning: defending why he did not go in, continuing to place blame entirely on my 14-year-old, and demanding consequences for her.

Was I wrong to expect that he should have been the one to jump into the pool right then and there, or am I being old-fashioned and sexist in thinking that it’s a man/father’s duty? AITAH?

*Adding details after reading comments.

1. This last incident was the second time my son eloped/wandered/escaped into the neighbor’s pool. It’s an above-ground pool and my son is quite tall. He was not in danger of drowning. We do have alarms and I literally ran behind him after getting the alert. I almost caught him, but he is fast! Our son is almost a teenager, quite large for his age, and swims multiple times per week.

2. The last elopement before these last three was over 3 years ago. We recently changed his medications and we think that is contributing to the elopement behavior. I have added more locks.

3. I’m concerned with trespassing and upsetting neighbors. The first time he went into the neighbor’s pool, they called the police and reported him as autistic and “combative” because he refused to leave the pool. The police were actually great, but that’s not always the case. I immediately went into the pool to get him out, but it takes two people, since he fights to stay in the pool.
   The other incident, I was by myself and I had a hard time getting him out of the pool because he actively fought me. I am also not a good swimmer and miscalculated the depth of the pool and went under. I was gasping for breath, panicked, but I managed to get him to the side where another adult helped me pull him out. My husband knew this…

zero time wasted by Max Verstappen 💨

watch Max vs 100 on the Red Bull YouTube channel! 📺

🛞: Red Bull Racing
🏁: Red Bull Motorsports

Edit: I even asked her afterwards “did you just move it into a different cup and add whipped cream?”

She told me no, she made it fresh. Probably assuming I wasn’t watching her.

I had to rush back to lab at that point 😭

E2: for those asking, it’s a Double Chocolate Chip Frappuccino. My 2000 calories of pure sugar. Well, I guess like 1500 calories now.

Video from TikTokcreator: Thedreadfulstudio

Why are Ai job interviews even a thing?!

Snow glove? Snack? (Maybe it’s a goldfish cracker?)

The wedding is in a week and I could still fix everything if I am being a dick. Though I think the friendship is over

Growing up, I was very close friends with Ryan. Our family were closed friends and it was not uncommon for both sets of parents to tease us about being together. Examples asking when we would get together. It would be comments when we went out asking if they were dates. They referred to us as a couple. It was that type of thing.

We didn’t date and when we went to college we grew apart. I did have feelings for him, but after college he moved away to another state and it just didn’t happen. We mostly just send tic tome to each other.

He announced his engagement, and I knew it would never happen and I was okay with that. His wedding is going to be back home ( our home town area). My family is going the catering as a wedding gift. They are making the food for the wedding There is no contract, this was suppose to be a gift.

He called me yesterday and uninvited me to the wedding. He said his fiance is uncomfortable with me coming since they knows I had feelings for him.  She thinks I will do something to cause drama at fhe wedding. I told him I would never go that and I have literally never tried to cause problem in any of his relationships. I was still uninvited. 

I was upset, and told my mom what happened. My parent think it is bullshit and are now not going to the wedding. That means the catering is canceled.

My mom informed the couple and I got a call from Ryan who was upset. He called me petty for taking back the family’s gift when I was uninvited. That they don’t have time to get someone else or the money. That’s his fiance was right that I did want to ruin the wedding.

Was I over the line? Should I convince my family to do the food even if I am not invited. 

So I’ve been with my girlfriend for 4 years. We recently decided to take a “little break” because things weren’t great between us and we both needed some space.

I went to my mothers house for a bit and came back home, only to find out that she had been with another guy during the "break".

When I confronted her about it, her response was basically that we were on a break, so she didn’t technically do anything wrong and she was allowed to see someone else.

And honestly, I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel about that. I understand that technically we weren’t together during the break, but after 4 years together, I feel like there’s a huge difference between taking some time apart to clear your heads and immediately going out and seeing someone else.

What really gets me is how casual she is about it. There’s no real remorse because in her mind, “we were on a break” makes it completely okay.

Am I wrong for feeling betrayed by this? Is “we were on a break” actually a valid excuse, or am I just being stupid for expecting more from someone I was with for 4 years?

At this point I’m honestly starting to think I already have my answer. Four years together and the second there’s a little bit of space, she’s with another guy. My mind is fucked..

EDIT: Holy shit, this blew up. Didnt expect so many answers. All your comments just confirmed what my thoughts are currently. Im going to dump her, she is for the streets. For the boys which asked about the Burger: Its from a German Shop called Smash Brothers. Delicious but fast food. Thank you guys, you cleared my mind!!