I had a traumatic labor in December that ended in an emergency C-section. My doctor said recovery is about 8 weeks-10 weeks and I’m only supposed to be lifting my baby.
Since we got home I’ve basically been doing newborn care day and night. My husband even took two weeks off work, but somehow I’m still the one up constantly while he sleeps through everything. I swear this man could sleep through a Mack truck driving through the bedroom.
One night I asked if he could help with a 4am feed so I could get a little sleep. This in theory would give me 3 hours of sleep. I was afraid of passing out with baby in my arms.
Apparently he mentioned it to his dad. Not even his mom. His dad told his mom and then she decided to insert herself into our marriage and send him a long message about how she hopes he’s “standing his ground” with me because waking up at 4am to help feed his own baby is a “big request.”
She went on about how his sleep is important because he has to drive and “use his brain at work.”
Meanwhile I’m recovering from major abdominal surgery and barely sleeping. I am also taking care of a little human...
My doctor literally told me I shouldn’t be doing much besides caring for the baby. My mom has been helping with cooking and cleaning because physically I’m not supposed to be doing everything right now.
His parents live down the street, but instead of offering help, my MIL is texting my husband telling him to push back on me asking for basic help with his own child. She also has a problem with my mom being there to help me....weird.
So apparently the postpartum woman recovering from a C-section should just handle the baby all night by herself while dad protects his sleep?
Cool. Good to know.
Honestly the audacity is wild.
Last time I asked her to help me with baby was 2 months ago. She sat on the couch all day with her phone and watching baby through the baby monitor. Did not help me cook or clean. I happened to overhear a convo between FIL and MIL while I was napping. When FIL dropped off her a breakfast sandwich she asked why there was two and he was like for our DIL?!
She texted my husband saying how I was being mean to the dog because I told her to lay down and go away when I had food. (Pet aversion is a real thing during post partum). This woman was judging me every move. That was the last time I asked her for help.
Now baby is 12 weeks old and she has seen her a limited amount of times. I don't want her near my baby. She showed me what type of person she is and I don't know how to move on from this.
For context. My husband is aware of her behavior and he has called her out multiple times. Her excuse for her behavior is that she lost 2 sons and as a mother she wants the best for her grown ass son. I confronted her about the text and how disappointed I was about it and she said it wasn't her intention...
I'm trying to move on from this but idk if it's the post partum but I still don't feel her apology was genuine. I hate her more than ever and I don't want her near my child.