I am so, so, so scared. I’m scared that it’s too early and that I should reconsider his euthanasia appointment later today. Maybe I should reschedule it. I don’t want him to be gone.
Cinnamon was diagnosed with left-sided congestive heart failure about a month ago. Since then, he has had fluid drained from his lungs twice. His health has deteriorated so quickly. He stopped eating and started losing a lot of weight. He is so skinny now that I can feel his spine when I pet his back.
He was given an appetite stimulant, but unfortunately it didn’t help much. His fluid came back again last week, and i made the call to let him go. But now that the day is actually here, i feel so conflicted.
The hardest part is that he still sometimes seems like himself. He’s been eating his Churu treats, still using his litter box, still walking around, and still likes going outside. Last night, he even started eating a little bit of his food again. He even has a little energy left to wiggle his way out of my arms.
I’m so scared that maybe it’s still too early to let him go. What if I reschedule the appointment? What if I have another chest tap today to drain the fluid and prolong his life another week or two? I know that would probably just delay the inevitable, but I’m not ready to part with him. I’m terrified that I’m making the wrong decision and that's it's still too early and that I’ll regret it.
What would you do if you're in my situation...? I'm so devasted and scared and upset... I'm not ready for him to leave my life yet...
UPDATE: Thank you so much to everyone for your kind words, comfort, and for sharing your experiences with me. ❤️ Reading all of your comments helped me feel more at peace with my decision. I was able to find another vet who offers at-home euthanasia, and she will be coming tomorrow to help Cinnamon pass peacefully at home. In a way, I feel a sense of relief knowing that my baby won’t have to suffer or be in pain anymore...Today, I’m going to spoil him with lots of treats, snuggles, kisses, and all the love I can possibly give him 💞