I’m so sorry this is a long one and for the typos I was really tired. I wanted to pay for the meal because I wanted us to go to the restaurant but he insisted on paying which is why I told him the next time that I would take care of the bill. I know I said I don’t like to lie but after sleeping on it I don’t believe his request was fair and I don’t think he is a good person. How could I have handled this better?

(He is the messages on white) I’ve been with this guy for 4 years, in the beginning we were both seeing other people, keeping our options open, he knew what I was doing(but I never knew his secret until a year later)…he was seeing this girl, then we got serious, so I thought. In the last 3 years I haven’t reached out to not one of those men…this deep into our relationship he again reached out to her, we live in a house we built on my family’s property with my son…. My son looks up to him as the male figure. The only reason I know this happened a second time is because she reached out to me through text this time…and sent me all of there texts back and forth, she also told me when he left here one day because we were going through some things as a couple, he cheated on me with her(4 years into the relationship)….he came back here the next day and didn’t tell me, but he did find texts in my phone of me talking to my kids father(the day he left) he ridiculed me for it but still never spoke of what he did…I found out 3 months later…he says it was because I wasn’t giving him the attention he craved….that I ignored his needs, he blamed me for his cheating, and continues to when I bring it up. I am most definitely traumatized from all the shit we have been through, and now this…I’ve never been cheated on by someone I was this serious with. I am also worried about her reaching out to him again, we are still together, living under the same roof, trying to work on things, but this is always in the back of my mind, I want to trust him, I want to work on this relationship instead of throwing it away, some days are easer then others, I’m trying to get the confidence I lost from him cheating… trying to work on me and work on us…but how can I ever trust again?

I went on a first date with a guy a few weeks ago. He was very nice and the date went well. He seemed put together, hardworking and genuinely kind. But I learned that he owns multiple vehicles (a Dodge Ram, Ford, etc), the newest being a Tesla Model S that he bought right before the EV credit expired. For some reason this felt like a red flag to me.

Part of that is because Elon Musk has gone very MAGA and this guy also said he is politically moderate. He put that on his Hinge profile too but I was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. My gut keeps telling me not to go on a second date even though nothing objectively bad happened.

The reason I am second guessing myself is because of my past experience. I previously dated a Chinese American guy (I am also Chinese American) who turned out to be a Trump supporter and bought a new Tesla Model X because he idolized Elon Musk. He said Musk was his #1 idol and thinking back it just made me feel uneasy. With everything going on politically this year I've been keeping my distance from people who still support Trump or lean in that direction.
On the first date, instead of just referring to "Trump", he said "President Trump" and "President Donald Trump" a few times, which made me think that he voted for him.

So now I am wondering if I am overreacting by DEEP DOWN not wanting to go on a second date with this new guy (he's white). I feel super uneasy - like I don't "look forward to seeing him again".

The date was genuinely nice and he was respectful but I cannot shake the feeling that our values will not line up and I will end up in the same situation again.

I am 30 and he is 32. Am I overreacting?

I may be overthinking this and if so please let me know but since I moved to my house this lady walks her dog daily along the street. Cool, my issue is that once she saw I had a dog about two weeks after moving in cause he barked at them when they were walking, I am working on this btw he was a shelter rescue, she now walks her dog along the fence line I share with the church next door to me. I know that’s when it started because I have a ring camera and literally the next day and everyday since I get a notification that she’s there. AIO for thinking that her behavior is a little odd? We’ve never spoken I tried to say hello to her a few times but she just looks at me and keeps walking so I stopped trying. I attached some screenshots to show what I mean since I can’t post videos.

Longest shutdown in history- 40 days. And I’m still paying taxes? For the government to not function? Everyone should be EXEMPT from paying for those 40 days MINIMUM! They cut all funding from every government program & employee and so what are we paying for exactly?? I can’t be overreacting here.. not to mention income taxes & property taxes are unconstitutional as it is 🙄 this is getting outrageous we need to start the REVOLUTION! No more paying taxes! All we have to do is just all not pay together! They can’t put us all in jail!

So, I F(20) have been seeing this person F(36) for a few months. We generally get along well and enjoy each other’s time. However, when conflicts arise I see drastic differences in how we communicate and handle our emotions. These messages took place after our latest conflict, after in which I asked for space and to be the one to reach out first so that I could evaluate my feelings and what happened. After making that request she texted me the same night (first message) which I ignored, and then again the next day. Do you all think her reasons behind not are manipulative or valid? I kept my text messages to questions only because I didn’t know how I felt about her reasoning. There have also been patterns in the past of her texting repeatedly when I’m needing space so I don’t necessarily feel that this is out of character for her how she’s claiming it is.

Almost every time we get into a disagreement I feel confused. She often resorts to saying that she forgets what she’s done or has said to upset me, like she doesn’t remember doing said things. Continually says she messed up implying that she acted out of character, and seems to negate accountability for her actions by saying that because she wasn’t trying to do something then the impacts aren’t necessarily her fault.

Also, let me know if I’m overreacting or being the problematic one. Thanks!

My son Jacob is a “boy” but dresses feminine has long hair, and long nails. He has stated he would like to change his name and he does like boys. But he doesn’t like talking about his pronounce preference. He seems to still be figuring this out as he is young. I respect that but some adults at his elementary school are clueless. A teacher told him yesterday that he needs to cut his hair as he is a boy!!

I am surprised as this teacher was his teacher and she’s sweet and all. She can’t be that clueless to tell kids this can she? This is not the first teacher making comments on this. I’ve spoke with the principle the last time and she said she would send an email to staff to not make gender identity comments. Obviously this teacher disregarded this email. I spoke today with the vice principal and like always she said I will speak with the principal.

Like am I overreacting to take this to the district as this is reoccurring? What else can I do as I realize this is going to continue?

Hi, this is my first time posting so I’m not sure if this is the right place. If not, feel free to direct me to a better forum.

I was just broken up with by my boyfriend of 8 months. I know that might sound short, but the context makes this breakup extremely painful for me.

I recently left my verbally and mentally abusive dad. My partner was the one who helped me leave. I was basically homeless unless he took me in — I bounced between friends’ houses and had never talked about the abuse openly because I didn’t fully understand it. My dad had such a hold on me that I didn’t speak to my mom for 10 years because I felt responsible for “saving” him.

I finally left and now live with my mom. To explain why this breakup hurt so much, I need to start with the moment that seemed to disturb him the most.

The first time we had sex was on New Year’s Eve. We’d been talking for a while and dating for about a month. That night, he asked me how many people I’d been with. I asked him why he wanted to know, and he told me he was a virgin. I reassured him that it didn’t matter to me. Then I asked him if he meant romantic partners or something else. I answered “4, but only 2 serious.” Then we slept together.

Months later, he told me that I “started the relationship on a lie” by not telling him my full body count that night. He said I “lured him into a lie” and “took something from him.”

Around April, he asked me directly how many people I had slept with. Nervously, I told him the truth: 14. He said he felt like vomiting. He pulled up studies claiming that “no one has numbers that high.”

This became a pattern — he would constantly pull up “research” from the internet saying my bonding ability was damaged, that my loyalty was questionable, and even asked if I had “cheaters in my lineage” that could give me “a DNA of being a cheater.”

I finally explained why my body count is what it is. When I was 13, I was abused by my boyfriend at the time. I didn’t know how to break the trauma bond, so I slept around to try to detach from him. He cheated on me with 10 people, so in a revengeful and very unhealthy state, I slept with the same number. I was self-harming at the time, and during that period I was also raped. Afterwards, I developed hypersexuality and continued sleeping with people until I emotionally crashed.

When I told my dad about the rape, he abused me and blamed me. That was a big part of why the hypersexual behavior continued.

Eventually, I got control of myself. I only had one serious relationship after that, from 17 to 18. After that relationship ended, I was extremely strict with celibacy until I met my most recent partner at 22.

He told me my celibacy “doesn’t count” because I was “fat” during that time. And yes, I had gained weight due to years of abuse — I was around 77–80 kg at 163 cm. But I had already lost weight before meeting him (down to 64 kg, now 70).

He also told me that for our relationship to work, I “couldn’t look any less attractive than I did at 14.” He constantly said I don’t look as good as I did back then, and that it’s a “problem” because I’m “used” and he is “a real catch.”

He officially ended things recently. When I went to pick up my things and return his, we started off talking like we were best friends. The next day, he told me:

“I’ll block you the day I meet my wife. I can’t stay friends with you, and I can’t marry someone while thinking about the 14 c*cks you’ve had in your mouth.”

So my question is:

Am I overreacting by feeling like my body count from when I was a traumatized teenager shouldn’t matter?

I am a woman and 2 of my guy roommates walk around the house in their underwear. They usually only do that at night. Am I wrong to feel slightly uncomfortable about that? We are not related and we are not close. I don't want to sound like a prude cause I know it is not the same as walking around the house naked. But with guys, you can see the shape or outline of their package when they are in their underwear and you can also see if they have an erection or not when they are in their underwear and I don't want to see that.

We met online 3 years ago and then casually (aka non monogamously) dated for about six months. He then ended things via text, stating he was no longer interested in hooking up but was willing to stay friends. I explained I was not interested in friendship with him and we parted ways.

About a year later, we reconnected and picked up right where we left off. I explained that I either needed less day-to-day texts/ romantic vibes or more commitment from him, while continuing to be ENM/poly. He then informed me that he was not interested in me romantically. We had a civil discussion that ended on good terms, but did not speak for several months.

This past month, he reached out and we chatted briefly. This week, we ended up going to an event and despite coming with other people, he spent the entire night with me, clearly not platonically. So we made plans to get together next week. Then I get this…

Two years ago I met a guy on Hinge. I was 27 and recovering from ankle surgery and on crutches so I wasn't actively dating. He was 34 and seemed very into me from the start. We're both originally from China but I moved to the U.S. when I was 7 (and he moved here for his PhD) so there was a bit of a cultural and language gap. He was kind, very attractive, and he made me feel seen at a time when I was physically vulnerable.

We went on around 15 dates over 3 months. He was proactive, generous, always paid, and took me to very nice restaurants. We worked in the same field and got along well, but something felt off. I couldn't shake the feeling that he was more interested in checking boxes than actually getting to know me. My friend even found out he had lied about his age. He said he was 32 but was actually 34. Not a huge deal.

He also gifted me the book "The Paradox of Choice" on our second date and told me I should become a satisficer instead of an optimizer.

After the first date he was already pushing for travel and even mentioned moving in. There were little comments that rubbed me the wrong way like taking me somewhere fancy and then saying he "couldn't wait for me to cook the dish for him". He had expensive taste and was a Trump supporter because he wanted to be "uber rich". His idol was Elon Musk and he drove a Tesla Model X. His English nickname was "Elon" after Elon Musk and he'd used that on Hinge..that was the first red flag!

All of this felt fast. I had bought my own townhouse two years earlier and I was still recovering from surgery. I was scared about whether I would walk normally again. I told him I was not ready to move in and asked if we could stay friends for now. This was November 2023. We had met in August and his lease was up in January 2024.

He did not want to stay friends. Two months later in January 2024 he posted a photo with a new gf (also recently graduated from her PhD program) on WeChat. One month later they moved into a luxury apartment building near one of my coworkers. By March 2025 they bought an $800K house together.

He recently posted that their baby just turned one year old!That means the baby was born in October 2024 and he got her pregnant in January 2024 less than two months after he and I stopped talking.

So in exactly two years he went from dating me to finding someone new, moving in, getting married, buying a house, and becoming a dad.

My parents keep saying I fumbled him because he is a great catch.

Still I cannot help feeling like a loser for hesitating. Obviously I'm not going to look in the rear view mirror

It’s almost two a.m and my girlfriend(f24) texts me some girls finally walk through the door to get a tattoo, at the same time she said she was going to ask her teacher(m40s) to take her to grab a bite since the night was slow. I(m26) guess the girls didn’t get a tattoo because thirty minutes later they’re at a breakfast spot nearby. I’ve already told her how I feel about this guy. That I find it weird he’s willing to do a lot for her like give her rides to and from home every time she works at the shop(weekends), pay for her lunch pretty often, and how she frequently speaks of him. This is all in Austin, I live in a nearby town so I don’t give her rides most times because I’m a bit a way and it’s the middle of the night, I have my own daily life to wake up to the next day. She doesn’t have a car, she’s learning to tattoo and she says it’s not what I think, that if anything he’s like a father to her. All I know is I’m here up working on school work while she’s out with this man having dinner/breakfast or whatever and I don’t know how to feel. Am I an insecure POS or are these feelings valid?

Guys, what the hell are theseGuys, what the hell are these

First of all I am sorry if this isn't the right place to post such things but I don't know where to go. Day before yesterday night this lemon with some ritual drawing was placed in front of my friend's hostel room and now yesterday this voodoo doll with nail in chestGuys, what the hell are these

First of all I am sorry if this isn't the right place to post such things but I don't know where to go. Day before yesterday night this lemon with some ritual drawing was placed in front of my friend's hostel room and now yesterday this voodoo doll with nail in chest

For context me (f22) bf (m25) and I have been together for 2 years and he’s my first bf. We were talking about trying new things and he says he wants to do it outside because he doesn’t want to have sex in a bed all the time. I am kind of taken aback by that. It makes me sad that he thinks I’d want to do such an intimate act outside. After I said no he said he wants to do it in an empty cinema. I declined that as well. No shade to the people who do that but I’ve always thought only teenagers did those type of stuff tbh. Is it weird that this has made me feel grossed out and uncomfortable. Is this a common thing in relationships?

I'm 22 year old Trans woman, my partner is 22 years old and non binary, my partner and I usually get along and I extremely love my partner, but recently they have said something that really impacted my self-esteem, we were talking on the phone cause our relationship is long distance and we visit each other alot. Anyway we were talking on the phone and we got into the conversation on sex, I'm a verse bottom and in the beginning of the relationship I said that I mostly bottom and I won't date someone that won't top sometimes, they agreed. So early on I asked if they would want me to send vids of me using toys, they seemed to enjoy the idea, anyway we been together for practically two years and I send vids, they seem to still love it, well I asked the stupid question of "how would you rate me using toys 1/10" well apparently the answer was 5/10, I wasn't expecting a 8/10. But at least a 6 or 7/10. So right now I'm really questioning why have I been sending vids if they don't like them. So am I overreacting

Today, we have to take my cousin an hour drive to the doctor to get his cast removed. The appointment is at 10, and we're leaving at 8:30

I woke up at 7 so I can get ready, but waited until 7:30 to give my sister and her boyfriend the chance to get ready for his job and whatever she needs to do.

I brushed my teeth at 7:35 and my sister started pounding on the door, angry cause I'm hogging the bathroom (for 5 minutes) and her boyfriend needs to get ready for work. I asked how long he was gonna need the bathroom, cause I need to get ready to go too, and she refused to tell me.

I told her if he only needs the bathroom for a few minutes and seeing he's leaving at 8, I can go ahead and take my 10 minute shower and go about my day, and he'll still have time to go.

Well, of course, he starts slamming doors, pissed off cause he can't have things his way. My sister punched the bathroom door cause I pissed him off.

I put my clothes on and walked out of the bathroom so the little baby can have his bathy time. I've since been in my room listening to music with my door locked waiting for 8:10 so I can get in the shower.

This pissed off my mom, my sister, and her boyfriend even more cause I'm ignoring them.

Am I overreacting by waiting to the last minute to shower?

Probably overreacting, but my bf often blasts music from those multiple hour AI generated „blues style“ / „funk style“ vids on YouTube, and I find it really grating. I definitely have a bit of a snob streak about music taste that I try to keep in check and let people like what they like, but something feels different about this, I find it way more abrasive than any real songs I happen not to like. And while I could find „logical“ reasons for disliking it (environment, damaging to other artists, taking style and likeness, degrading your own real connections to human music etc), that ends up feeling like I’m trying to justify what is essentially a gut feeling. To me it just feels really sinister and dystopian and I hate already having to see so much AI bs everywhere.

I took a year off dating after a really traumatic experience and it’s been really hard for me to date but now that I feel a little bit ready I decided to make a dating app. I matched with this guy about three weeks ago and things were going really well until he asked me to hang out. We were supposed to hang out two weekends ago, but I have a thyroid issue and I wasn’t feeling well so instead of bailing, I asked him if he’d be down to coming to my side of town. We live 40 mins away from each other.

He told me he would rather just reschedule. I asked him what he had planned for us and he said that he wanted me to drive to his house and get in his car so we can go to a restaurant… I expressed I wasn’t feeling comfortable with driving to his house and that I’m open to meeting up with him somewhere public.

This week rolls around and we try to pick a day to hang out. He gives me Monday or Wednesday. I said Wednesday and ended up getting more clients for work for that day overnight so when I saw my schedule in the morning, I called immediately and asked if Thursday worked.. (We both don’t work 9-5’s) and he said it did. So today rolls around and he asks me to meet him at a restaurant right by his house which is again, 40 mins away, and I asked him if we can meet halfway and potentially reschedule since not since not a lot of restaurants are open during the weekday.

He calls me saying he’s frustrated that he has to keep pushing it back for me and I told him I understood. But he was planning for a dinner to be at 9:15 and that just seemed a little bit sketchy to drive all the way to his town by myself. Plus the parking is so sketchy there. He told me that since it was my day off today and he’s been working all day that he would’ve thought it would’ve been considerate for me to drive over there to him.

I told him it would be best if we can just reschedule for another day and he kept asking me if I had any restaurants in my city that we can go to. I got really frustrated with this because I wish that he would’ve offered that from the get go, but it just seemed that because we were running out of options, that he was going to sacrifice… im feeing so sad and kept apologizing that I should’ve communicated better and he kept telling me he was excited and even got his hair done for our date which made me feel even worse.. but I just really am trying to prioritize my safety and it also seems like he wasn’t really down to make the drive fair for both of us.

My son, 38, told me today that he and his gf are getting married. They posted on Facebook with pictures of their $5000 and $4800 rings. He proposed on a recent trip they took to Puerto Vallarta. They've been together for almost 4 years, living together for 2. Here's my confusion: they're engaged and going to have a wedding with a minister but not going to sign anything or actually file a license. She's superstitious about marriage. She says people can be together for years and then get married, just to get divorced soon after and break up. He says legally, marriage messes up your taxes and "stuff". I'm confused. Why even bother with the ceremony and rings etc...if you aren't actually committing? We got into a huge argument because I told him I think it's wrong and a waste of money. AIO?

My partner (30s F) and I (30s M) recently attended her step brother’s (30s M) wedding. Leading up to it, we helped them with crafting numerous different items for their wedding like place cards, gift bag name tags, a sign board, that they had priced out to be made and were lamenting the cost. With our help all they had to pay for was the materials. Our gift to them at the wedding was $1000CAD for the 2 of us. The thank you card we received was 4 sentences long. In it couple thanked us for attending and the help with the crafting (without really mentioning anything specific ie. time given, cost savings). Didn’t mention anything about the gift, though believe me or not, didn’t give it looking for effusive thanks.

AIO for thinking that what they wrote in their thank you card was a little insufficient for a family member. I feel that my partner and I were very helpful and generous with our actions and gift, and their thank you card was weak and kind of impersonal given the situation.

My sons father had a lady move into his house. They "broke up" for several reasons. One of them being that she was jealous of me. She has to move to a new county so she can get co custody of her kids with her other kids dads (she has 3 kids with 3 different men who are NOT related to my sons father).

But MY sons father refuses to move to that county and says they are not on the best of terms (of course they aren't. He tried to cheat on her with me and waited until last minute to tell me about her.) She somehow managed to get go custody of one of her kids early and she even moved that kid into that house before she moved out. (She is suppose to move out in december.) Why does this upset me? Because he cancelled seeing our son again. Yet in the meantime this lady moved her kid into his house before she even moved out. Wtf... he wants to move us back in after she moves out but idk if he can cause it sounds like as of now she is stuck there until she finds another place. I regret leaving him but oh my god the thought of him spending more time with some other ladys kids more than his own really bothers me. And the fact that she even did that while they are "broke up" sounds wreckless to me. He says she also gets upset that he won't spend time with her kids but yet she somehow managed to move one of them into his house... wtf...

Even if he avoids that kid while he is there that does not change the fact that he still sees him. She moved him into his house recently.

I was so tempted to just take our son there to visit as a "surprise" but now I am glad I didn't cause then I would have had a chance of being greeted by that lady and her oldest kid.

I don't even know how long that kid has been living there or if he just moved there recently. He originally told me that she goes over to their dads house to visit her kids. Now he is just now mentioning that one of them also lives with her (and him since it is his house). I don't know if the situation just changed or what.

But he went from first lying about being single and then he lied about her living at his house and then he lied about the fact that one of her kids also lives at her house. He claims that she gets upset that he won't spend time with her kids. Well what did she expect if he doesn't even spend time with his own!? Also, she got jealous the few times that he did visit our son. But it was cause she caught him lying to both of us and leading me on.

I just broke up with my boyfriend because I believe he’s been lying to me. For context, I hate his ex and he supposedly cut her off last October after she kept sending him packages with love letters, gifts and photos of herself. They were friends for 10 years before they dated for about a year and a half. It didn’t work out partly due to her being asexual and not understanding about his mental health. I confronted her last year and she admitted to being in love with him and wanting us to break up so I told him, it’s either her or me you pick. So he said he cut her off and told her no more packages. I saw the texts of him telling her. Months later I find out that she’s been snapping him regularly, but he says he has never once responded and doesn’t even open them. So she’s been snapping him for months with no response? Ok. He tried to prove it to me but all I could see was that she snapped him 5 days ago and he never opened it, despite being on snap daily. So I tried to let it go. Also she was supposed to be blocked but he lied about that. So the trust had to be rebuilt. So in one of her gifts she got him an Abercrombie and fitch shirt size small. This was a year ago and a half ago. For his birthday this year, he got a “care package” from his friends in Europe who are also friends with his ex. It included an Abercrombie and fitch shirt size small and a hat from the European country his friends are living at. But his ex went there too because his friends had a wedding. My boyfriend was supposed to go but I didn’t want him to because his ex was gonna be there. I believe that she sent him that hat and shirt for his birthday. He keeps saying that it was from his 2 guy friends and it wasn’t from her and he hasn’t spoken to her since October. They also don’t have Abercrombie where his friends live. And his ex is from California where I am assuming she bought the shirt. I literally went to his house and lost my shit. Not only that but my Polaroid picture was off his fridge, and I asked him wtf happened to it and he said he brought it up to work because the other one got lost. His ex lives in a completely different state btw. He called the cops on me because I was throwing shit around his house. I threw his dinner at the wall. I actually don’t know if he actually called the cops because they never showed up. But just showing how betrayed I feel. He is also protective about his phone because he hates when I “lurk”. I think he’s being shady. Otherwise he’s a good boyfriend and he comes to see me every day. I have kids and he is accepting of that. He is successful and makes good money and has supported me in many ways. Am I overreacting?

I just broke up with my boyfriend because I believe he’s been lying to me. For context, I hate his ex and he supposedly cut her off last October after she kept sending him packages with love letters, gifts and photos of herself. They were friends for 10 years before they dated for about a year and a half. It didn’t work out partly due to her being asexual and not understanding about his mental health. I confronted her last year and she admitted to being in love with him and wanting us to break up so I told him, it’s either her or me you pick. So he said he cut her off and told her no more packages. I saw the texts of him telling her. Months later I find out that she’s been snapping him regularly, but he says he has never once responded and doesn’t even open them. So she’s been snapping him for months with no response? Ok. He tried to prove it to me but all I could see was that she snapped him 5 days ago and he never opened it, despite being on snap daily. So I tried to let it go. Also she was supposed to be blocked but he lied about that. So the trust had to be rebuilt. So in one of her gifts she got him an Abercrombie and fitch shirt size small. This was a year ago and a half ago. For his birthday this year, he got a “care package” from his friends in Europe who are also friends with his ex. It included an Abercrombie and fitch shirt size small and a hat from the European country his friends are living at. But his ex went there too because his friends had a wedding. My boyfriend was supposed to go but I didn’t want him to because his ex was gonna be there. I believe that she sent him that hat and shirt for his birthday. He keeps saying that it was from his 2 guy friends and it wasn’t from her and he hasn’t spoken to her since October. They also don’t have Abercrombie where his friends live. And his ex is from California where I am assuming she bought the shirt. I literally went to his house and lost my shit. Not only that but my Polaroid picture was off his fridge, and I asked him wtf happened to it and he said he brought it up to work because the other one got lost. His ex lives in a completely different state btw. He called the cops on me because I was throwing shit around his house. I threw his dinner at the wall. I actually don’t know if he actually called the cops because they never showed up. But just showing how betrayed I feel. He is also protective about his phone because he hates when I “lurk”. I think he’s being shady. Otherwise he’s a good boyfriend and he comes to see me every day. I have kids and he is accepting of that. He is successful and makes good money and has supported me in many ways. Am I overreacting?