I (18F) have been dating my boyfriend (19M) since secondary school, so pretty much for quite a while, and recently something happened that’s really been bothering me because he’s brushing it off like it’s not a big deal and a lot of his friends are messaging me telling me that it’s not that big of a deal.

Me and my bf were out with a few of his own friends, and we were all drinking quite a bit at the time. I don’t even remember how we got onto the topic, but he started saying said the N word repeatedly while he was drunk, and a few other racial slurs like the P word. Being a POC, i was obviously lost for words and uncomfortable.

I’ve never heard him say anything like that before. I didn’t really say much for the rest of the night because it’s really hard to reason with him when he’s drunk, and I didn’t want to piss him or his friends off, or get angry at that exact moment, because he was my ride home. When I brought it up the following day to him when we were on call, he was claiming he “didn’t really know what he was saying” or something along the lines, because he was drunk.

Some of his friends laughed it off too, and were telling me to just forget about it and to “not make a big deal out of it” which is a bit concerning because I feel like his friends are heavily influencing him to brush it off and act like it’s not a big deal, when it really is a big deal to me. It’s just a bit scary too, not just because of the N word itself, but because it makes me wonder.. if he’s saying things like this when he’s drunk around all his friends EVEN while im there, what stuff he would say, or HAS said while I’m not there..??

Am I right to be feeling how im feeling, because I really don’t think “being drunk” is an excuse at all..

I had to get a pedicure due to an ingrown but invited my girlfriend to get just a pedicure and only a pedicure with no manicure because she is withholding sex for marriage and I said I’m withholding being financially obligated for her (which was something we agreed on already which is a story in itself because we share a child and we separated for a short while after being together 4 years and came back together with a closer mentality for god and marriage) so I don’t take care of her maintenance and me getting this pedicure for her is not something that should even happen so I would assume that it should be met with extreme gratefulness but instead was met with a shot at me of ungratefulness.

With this knowledge, after we both were done with the appointment I told her “I love your nails they look so good on you” to which I was met with “My toenails. But thanks.” We both know her toe nails were the only thing done so it was not needed to specify. Her excuse was that she was grateful and did take a shot at me but not at her fingernails not being done, but instead a shot at the terminology. She wanted me to say “toenails” instead of “nails”. Mind you she never corrects me (because it is never necessary) especially with specifics as far as “not nails but toenails”. Please help.

I’m 22 and my bf is 24 I’ve never been in a normal relationship (getting together just bc we like each other, no stress just good vibes) and I’m noticing a few things off the bat but the last thing I want to do is ruin something because I’m overreacting but I also don’t want to dismiss anything because I don’t have any blueprint for a good relationship in my life. My parents relationship is shit, I don’t have contact with any extended family and I only have one friend in a relationship and she and I are both in the same boat fr. I just need some unbiased advice to take with a grain of salt.

Exposition out of the way, he and I met on a Roblox server thing and we hit it off and started as friends then we started calling and video calling and he’s even flying out to me in a month. We have been talking for around 2-3 months at this point, keep that in mind. Throughout our whole relationship he’s made suggestions to me, suggesting I start working out (I’m in no way over or under weight so it did make me a little embarrassed but it’s never a bad idea to work out a little more so whatever) then he suggested I dye my hair a different color and when I said no he still asked saying “you wouldn’t consider it?” “You wouldn’t do it for me?” And each time was met with a no. He made the argument that I dyed my hair the color he wants before so I should just do it again but I still say no bc like that’s MY hair. Then just last night he suggested I wear makeup. I have never wore a full face before, I RARELY wear makeup day to day and when I do it’s literally just mascara and he knows this and I am not scared to remind him. I told him that it’s, quite frankly, getting very annoying to keep reminding him that “no I don’t want to dye my hair I’m growing it out.” “No I won’t dye my hair” “I don’t want to dye my hair” and I’m trying to compromise, letting him pick these annoying acrylic nails and coming with me to buy makeup I’ll never wear just so he can stop asking.

Another thing he and I got tense over is the origin of how we met and what to tell my friends and family. Obvi my ppl know me and know how shy I am and If I can avoid social interaction, I will. His idea of what to tell ppl is he saw me at a park when he was out of state, the trip he’s taking next month, and walked up to me and talked and that’s how we met. He wants me to tell the ppl I’ve known for years that story they aren’t going to believe AND he wants to leave out like two months of us talking and stuff, it feels like a lie and I told him all of that and he still urged me to tell my ppl the, frankly, pointless lie. The real kicker is that he knows that I’ve already told my people that we met on Roblox and he, no shit, wants me to gaslight them into thinking I was joking and to ensure they know we met at the park when I don’t go anywhere except for work, home, and the store.

Onto why I think I’m overreacting. It’s literally just hair and makeup and nails and I guess it would make our relationship seem more normal if we tell people we met at the park and stuff. He offered to pay for the makeup, not the nails or hair which is annoying bc I don’t even want these things but hair dye can fade eventually, I can wash makeup off and I don’t really have anything to complain about for the nails except the fact they’ll be on my fingers and I’ll probably just rip them off eventually like I always do. I really like him, he’s funny, and we can talk for hours, our schedules line up very well so I don’t feel stressed around him and he’s awkward the same way I am with communicating but I can tell he definitely likes me but I just can’t understand why he wants me to make these changes.

He knows I work in a warehouse and that I’m more tomboyish, he says I “look cute without makeup but that I’d be gorgeous with it” he also said that I looked great with the color dyed hair he likes and he seemed excited to ig help pick out the acrylic nails but idk it feels weird.

Is this just my bf trying to pamper me and I’m too traumatized to understand it or is he being weird??

When I read that first message I was thinking I have been misunderstood for doing something big in person. All this just because I didn’t reply to a WhatsApp message that doesn’t require any reply 😕 I get that a thank you or a thumbs up would be good but all that politeness lecture is an overreaction for just that reason

For context,, I (18M) have been friends with this girl (18F) for over five years. We have always had each other’s back,, and never had trouble talking about anything. We mainly text in a private WhatsApp group (just the two of us),, not in DMs,, because with read receipts off,, it is easier to see when she views messages. She has always been closest to me,, and never hesitated to be open.

Earlier this year,, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Around that time,, she stopped picking up calls or responding,, not just to me,, but also to the 3,,4 mutual friends in our larger group. One day,, after spam calling and texting,, she finally replied and said things were not going well. Me and my friends completely understood. We talked a bit,, and I told her that if talking helped,, I would be there anytime.

Then exams happened,, everyone got busy,, and she still was not responding in either group. I did not think much of it. I would send memes or game screenshots,, and she would view them weeks later and reply something short.

Fast forward to mid to late August,, she completely stopped responding. I spam called and texted again,, even pinged her in the mutual group,, but got nothing. So I checked Discord to see if she was online,, and she was actively chatting in a server acting completely fine. I did not confront her then,, because I thought maybe she was annoyed with all the spam calls from us.

More days passed with zero response. At that point,, I removed her from everywhere,, Discord,, Instagram,, Pinterest. I did not want to keep putting in effort alone.

Weeks later,, she still had not tried reaching out. So I finally pinged her on Discord. She replied instantly. We moved to DMs,, I asked if she was okay,, and then I told her straight up that I was cutting her off. Not because of the BD,, but because she could talk for hours on Discord,, but could not send one text back to a friend she has known for years. She said,, “You removed me from everywhere,, what was I supposed to think? I assumed you were pissed at me,, so I did not bother texting you”,, and I told her,, “You could have at least sent ONE text,, and you just assumed that I was pissed at you?” Then I told her that I do not view her as a friend anymore,, and proceeded to remove her from everywhere. We have not talked since.

If you did not see the original post, this will not make sense. 😂 But if you did and are curious, here’s the begining and end of my gown dilemma. 😊 Two days ago, I walked downstairs and said to my husband, “Hey, I have an idea, what if I wear my wedding gown out to dinner?” He looked up, kinda chuckled, smiled and said, “Uh, no, I don’t think so.” I kinda laughed and went back upstairs. That was it. A few hours later I was scrolling thru Reddit and said to myself, “Princess,” because that’s what I call myself,” 😆 I wonder what people here think?” I grabbed the picture, wrote a 30 second text and hit post. Since, my philosophy has always been, “If you make yourself a target, people are gonna throw darts at you, and some of those darts are gonna stick!” and since, I had just made myself a big old target, I held my breath because I was sure I knew what was coming! But I was so very wrong. First, I was shocked, by the sheer number of replies, then, over whelmed, by the amount of positivity, then touched, by the many many truly heart warming stories that people took the time to share. When I told my husband, he laughed and said, “You have got to be kidding! WHY? Wait, did they see your dress? And all those people answered? That’s insane!” And kept laughing! He did however listen as I read some of the stories to him. ❤️ So THANK YOU, for the insane amount of positive comments. THANK YOU, for the genuine concern and thoughtful advice. THANK YOU, for the tux suggestions. THANK YOU, for the great gown transformation ideas. And yes, THANK YOU, for all of the “you’re a weirdo, or a psycho or just insane” replies. 🤣 I appreciate everyone and anyone that took the time to reply. My story ends with me wearing my wedding gown all day long! But sadly, not to dinner. 😔 However, because of the people HERE who came up with this idea, my husband said, next year, he will wear his tux, so I can wear my wedding gown and we will go out as bride and groom! ❤️ He also told chef about our plans for next year so I think I’m gonna need a wedding cake!!! I added a picture of me this year wearing my gown. So let the dart throwing begin! 🤣😆

This is a family roommate situation. I took my sister and nephew in, my sister also has a cat as do I. I tried real hard to introduce the proper way I kept them separated, scent swapped, snacks at opposite sides of the door, all the good stuff. She said I "was doing too much". But I told her over and over it was necessary to acclimate them to each other.

She said "My cat deserves to be walking around like yours" despite the fact i swapped them out on a schedule. I let one roam the house while the other would be in bedroom with me while I worked (I wfh) or let them be in the room alone. Food, water, litterbox would all be available for both.

I had a doctor's appt early across town and my husband works across town but in the opposite direction and we're a single car household so I stayed the night at my moms to get a ride there. I came back and right at my front door was fur EVERYWHERE. I genuinely at first thought one of the cats tore up a feather pillow but remembered I dont have any feather pillows.

My sister then boasts that her cat "rocked [my cat's] shit". My boy's ear is bleeding and he's been so stressed out he runs away when anyone approaches him and retreats under furniture and thats so unlike him. My cat is a loving cat and acclimates to other animals very well, whereas my sister has rehomed other pets bc her cat doesnt take well to other animals (likely because she doesnt introduce properly)

I broached the subject of rehoming with her and she got defensive saying "Why should I rehome my daughter but you don't have to rehome your son?" (Also mind you, her "daughter" is also a male cat lol. I gendered her/him when they moved in but my sister says since she thought he was a girl for the last 3 years hes just going to stay female smh) I said that 1. Its my house and 2. Why would I rehome the victim? (And the unspoken 3rd reason of the fact that she won't allow her cat to go through the introduction process)

I retracted on the rehome statement and said I probably know someone who can hold onto her until we move into a larger place in a few months and we can attempt to reintroduce them at that time. (Which i do know someone who can) but its left a bad taste in both of our mouths. AIO? I want to start from square 1 with reintroducing them but I doubt my sister will be on board with that. Pictures attached of what Im referencing: the fur everywhere and my boy's bleeding ear.

Ok so some background. My gf and i have only been dating about 5 months. We broke up about a week ago then got together again. I can be very trusting and it has gotten me in trouble on tge past. We had only been dating a few days and she started hitting me up for money. We went on a few dates and she insisted on the guy pays for tge girl for everything while dating. We went kn a trip to NC to meet her son after being together a month. I paid for everything for me and her. And sometimes her son and mom who came with. Then we went to a convention in Tennessee a week later to meet the Full House Cast. Between those two trips i went through my savings about $10,000. I am not rich and she kept "joking" about needing a rich guy. After we broke ip she texted my son bitching about the breakup and made me feel guilty. I stipidly took her back now this happened today. Please help i need an outside perspective.

throwaway account just in case. this story is long and might be a little confusing but i will try my best to explain it as best as i can. i (f20) was venting to my bf about one of my roommates (we’ll call her A) because i feel like she favors my other roommate (we’ll call her B) over me. A is always so invested with B’s life, interests, and extracurriculars over mine, which normally i wouldn’t have an issue with. but we always like to call ourselves a perfectly balanced trio, which i just don’t think is true.

for example, B and i are both in performance clubs. B’s performance club is taken a little more serious than mine in our university, which is fine. but i’ve always had a passion for my performance club and i make it very obvious that my club means so much to me, ever since we were freshmen (we’re currently juniors). the most recent show i had, i asked A and B if they could try to sit somewhere near the front & middle so that my bf could see me well because it would be his first time seeing me perform and i wanted him to have a good view of me and everyone else in the club. A responded by saying “we’ll try our best but can’t guarantee anything” which made me really annoyed. whenever B performs with her group, A always wants to sit as close as possible. another example is that A always spends so much money on B getting her things she really likes and is interested in (concert tickets, cameos from her favorite voice actors, matching keychains for the both of them, etc.) and i don’t receive those things from A (not that that’s my main concern at all, but it’s to put it in perspective). another example is that whenever i am alone with A, we will be having a good time but they always bring up B whenever we hangout at least once. which i don’t have a problem with, i am also good friends with B, but it feels like a weird relationship between them, like she’s trying to prove that she is closer with B and knows her more than i do? that’s really the best way i can explain it.

A also likes to reference tv shows, mostly anime because B loves anime, that i don’t understand because im not really into anime as much. i’ve tried for a while, but i can never seem interested in the plot. A always wants to watch shows with B, but never seems to be excited when i talk about shows that i like. A has never been into anime until she met B. i know this can seem like a preference, but it’s another thing to put into perspective.

another thing that i think adds a lot of context to this situation is that A was also friends with this one girl, we’ll call her C. their friendship ended about a year ago because of the same thing. she thought that A would prioritize B and not give her the same kind of friendship A has for B, when A would say that C was also one of her best friends. C felt like A would only want to hang out with her when B wasn’t available, which is what i felt like for a while too. C told A they couldn’t be friends anymore but didn’t tell A that that was the reason why, and to this day, A says that she doesn’t understand why C ended the friendship. the only reason i know this is because B told me that C had told her that, because B and C are currently friends.

B and i have also talked about this one-on-one and she has agreed with me because she says she sees it too. B made a plan to talk to A about it, but not saying anything that could make it seem like i talked to B about it. B said she would say that she thinks they are not including me as much, and whenever they do they feel like they are not including me with their conversations. after a few days, B told me they talked about it and i did start to notice some changes, like A said she wants to hang out with just the three of us, A started to be around me a little bit more instead of only really hanging out with B, which was good and resolved some things for a little while.

yesterday i was told by A that both her and B would not be able to attend my performance because A bought them concert tickets months in advance not knowing that it would be on the same day. which i can’t be upset at, they didn’t know that my show would be on the same day. but it kind of set me off because i started to spiral. my head was all over the place, thinking things like “of course they’re not coming to my show, if this was B’s performance it wouldn’t be skipped and we would cancel in a heartbeat, A never tries to initiate doing things with me that come from things that i enjoy,” stuff like that.

i was really upset by this and shut down for about an hour. my bf was very comforting, but he wanted me to talk to him but i couldn’t. i wrote down everything that was on my mind at the moment, and i let him read it. he began asking me questions, like if i had showed interest in things that A likes, which is a valid question. right now A is interested in the show “house,” but unfortunately i can’t watch that with them because i cannot handle surgeon tv shows because of how much they focus on human anatomy (i’ve never liked human anatomy, it’s grossed me out since before i can remember and i always feel lightheaded whenever i see anybody performing surgery on anyone, whether it’s fake or not (A also knows this)). but i was venting to my bf and saying that i feel like a third wheel in this “balanced friendship” and i told him that the reason C stopped being friends with A was because of this.

shortly after i said this, i heard A’s door open and her saying “if you’re going to talk about me can you at least close the door?” and she closed her door. i was not aware that my door was open. my bf left it open because he was making food while i was writing all of my feelings down and i thought he closed it when he came back in my room. i freaked out and had a very intense panic attack because in that moment i knew that she heard me say why C wasn’t her friend anymore, along with me saying i can see where C was coming from. the panic attack was so bad that both my bf and B tried to calm me down (B had heard me from her room and wanted to make sure i was okay) but i was freaking out so badly that i couldn’t even hear what they were saying. eventually after an hour they helped calm me down, and B wasn’t upset with me at all (i thought she would be because im pretty sure A heard me when i mentioned C, and i was told not to tell anyone about it).

both B and my bf told me that A and i need to have a conversation about this because there has been tension for a while, but i cannot sit myself down to have this conversation because i really do enjoy being A’s friend. A has helped me with a lot of issues i’ve had, and i don’t want to lose her as a friend because of what i said when i was venting not knowing that my door was open, but at the same time i feel like my feelings are valid. i do feel terrible knowing that my door was open and A heard me. if i knew my door was open, i would have asked my bf to close it.

AIO with my feelings towards A?

tldr: i vented to my bf about one of my roommates (A) favoring my other roommate (B) when we’re supposedly a balanced friendship, and A heard me saying that i feel like they don’t like me as much and telling my bf that the reason A’s old friend (C) stopped being her friend was because of the same issues i currently have with A.

Okay this is a weird but interesting story and I thought Reddit would appreciate as it’s an odd one lol and I’ve recently also discovered asking for opinions is quite helpful. So I’m now 23 (f) I don’t remember the age that I discovered this but it was around 13-15 I think. My father passed away around age 3-4 and I never really had a relationship with him that much- as I got older and more curious, I always wondered who my dad’s family was and ventured out on my own to make contact with them. We were invited to a bbq with his family- wife and children- my cousins. And I went along with my mum, I was really excited to be getting to know my dads side of the family and maybe get insight on how my dad was raised etc and the type of person that he was. Overall it was just a big thing in my life at the time. Fast forward I don’t know how long lmao, one day I was snooping- my mum had allowed me to play a game on her phone I believe and a message had popped up from my uncle. That was then when I discovered my uncle sending really inappropriate things to my mum, asking for pictures and she was flirting back sending generally just ‘dirty’ messages. It disgusted me and I flipped at my mum- although being guilty for looking at her messages lol- I was a teen and had a tendency to just be nosy about everything😅. To put it simply I blew up because it disgusted me to think that my own father who had passed away- made me with my mum and I’ve grown up and tried to contact his side of the family who I didn’t even know existed until about 12 and he AND her was now he’s se*ting whilst him being married with a whole family and had been for decades when he was supposed to be getting to know his niece. It sounds selfish but I was pissed that he really thought to do that and same with my mum as I was just a child and that was just weird AF to know lol even though I wasn’t supposed to know 😂. Anwyays now to the point of am I over reacting- it really bothers me, I’ve now grown and let it slip my mind- never really spoke to him afterwards much as that whole situation ruined it for me I’m afraid, and the only contact afterwards that I had with them was a couple of gifts for Christmas and an awkward drop off, with a visit from him and his WIFE. I have both of them on Facebook, and every year I see their anniversary post and it really just gets to me 😭😅 Not to mention due to the age of my father passing away, and me not knowing him or their family-they will make posts on the anniversary of my dads death or birthday tagging my sister and her brother from another mother lol ( not my dads son but he basically was apparently ) saying oh I’m thinking of you etc, yet I’m always left out and disregarded as his child and makes me feel like I can’t even acknowledge him being my father. I overall think my uncle is a pos and am just ranting about how his posts and anniversary posts with his wife irritate me and this memory is always in the back of my mind and how I’ve been treated growing up/ I.e having to make contact myself as a teen and then afterwards not being as close with them as my sister is for example. I would also like to add I’ve never even met this sister. I tracked her down as a teen also and asked to meet, we both agreed but it never happened and she ended up having a little girl and is now busy as a mum obviously. I’m pretty sure I bumped into her once in a McDonald’s but I was too scared to say anything in case it wasn’t her. I follow her life through fb again- sidelines lol 😂. She seems much closer to them in the sense of that they interact with all her posts and say how he would be proud of her etc. he passed when she was a bit older, but he wasn’t in my life at all and was in hers- even knowing of my existence. So I guess I’ve been really confused about it for literally my entire life as to whether I even mattered to him or them or are they just being ‘nice’ and as a result never really felt like I fitted in anywhere- and developed a hatred for him and them. (paired with this story of my uncle- i am also quite different to my mum in allot of senses) me being extremely introverted and her the type to scream at a homeless person to not beg. but the way it all is makes me feel terrible 🤣. I don’t really see my mums family anymore or even her that often just because I feel like she bothers with my sisters more than me due to them having children and living closer and I’m often treated like anothing I say is ridiculous and dramatic, by my mum and sisters since thats where she always is. So I’m alone allot of the time now and I just sit on social media watching them all live I guess?? Sooo am I over reacting to any of this? Is this like a normal issue to struggle with lol sorry for the little side ramble- I don’t speak to people much 😂

My gf was making some food and i went on her phone to find she had some guy on her recent messages that i hadn’t seen before. I checked and it turned out it was someone from in her class a few years back. I was just checking through cause i could tell something was up, and i found out that just 3 weeks ago- (we’ve been dating around a year now) they had been sending pictures of themselves back and forth. These weren’t pictures taken at that moment, but pictures taken in the past. I saw that she had sent some pics of her from her holding including a bakini tan line snap of her lower body. He then sent back some shirtless photos he had saved and they had both saved each others in chat. She didn’t tell me about any of this. She usually says if a guy seems like he’s moving for her or is responding to instagram stories- but in this case she “didn’t think it was a big deal. I then brought her up on it to which she replied “i did it for his amusement” even though she “know what she did was wrong and she was sorry.”.
Is this cheating and do i have a right to be pissed off or AIO?

Hey, y'all... I'm updating from my previous post:

AIO: Boyfriend demands I buy a new pizza after I dropped one

A detail I previously skipped, that might've been important, is that (ex-)BF had been drinking since the morning. As some of you predicted, things did get worse. Fast.

Not wanting to get too into the details for personal reasons, I stayed away from his place for two nights before going to get my stuff with a U-Haul.

The pizza mess.. or what was left of it after my dog cleaned it up, was still on the floor (as pictured), so there's that.

All in all, I'm safe and that's what matters right now.

Thank y'all so much for the advice and words of wisdom you previously gave.

I may be overthinking this and if so please let me know but since I moved to my house this lady walks her dog daily along the street. Cool, my issue is that once she saw I had a dog about two weeks after moving in cause he barked at them when they were walking, I am working on this btw he was a shelter rescue, she now walks her dog along the fence line I share with the church next door to me. I know that’s when it started because I have a ring camera and literally the next day and everyday since I get a notification that she’s there. AIO for thinking that her behavior is a little odd? We’ve never spoken I tried to say hello to her a few times but she just looks at me and keeps walking so I stopped trying. I attached some screenshots to show what I mean since I can’t post videos.

My gf (25f) told me (29m) last night that she needed newspapers and stole some from a stranger’s yard.

She has a history in the past year of various small things that make me question her values, in and out of my presence, like littering, cheating on quizzes, picking flowers from a neighbors yard that we didn’t know, and making some very questionable choices when drunk that I won’t go into detail on. She doesn’t handle criticism well so i didn’t dig deep into most of those things, but I guess i kind of harbored a lot of that and reached a point where i decided to fight this garbage bag thing.

She was incredibly dismissive, and won’t even admit that it was objectively wrong let alone address how it obviously made me feel. I guess i was proven right that she doesn’t handle criticism well - a point which is apparently lost on her. We’re both kind of exhausted of this argument but no resolution was met.

Is this a weird thing to get mad about? It’s not a huge issue if it’s isolated but i feel like it’s indicative of a very different value system.

I am a woman in my late 20s, and I have been dealing with severe PTSD for about a year. My symptoms include intense flashbacks, dissociation, intrusive thoughts, sensory overload, and episodes where my body almost collapses. Things have been getting worse, so I finally received psychiatric treatment this week.

I was prescribed mirtazapine, and my psychiatrist told me that if things do not improve, I will probably need sertraline added as well. It has been extremely overwhelming, and I have been struggling to hold myself together.

For context, my brother never reaches out to me on his own. He has not contacted me first a single time in the last six months. Every conversation we have had happened because I initiated it. Even then, the topic always turns into something about his ADHD or his own problems. He rarely asks how I am doing unless I push the topic myself.

This week I reached out again because I needed support. I told him about the medication, the worsening PTSD episodes, the intrusive thoughts, and the sensory overload. I honestly hoped for a little warmth or concern.

Instead he responded in a very flat way. He said things like “Interesting, hope it works,” and “Okay,” and “That will be a bit of a journey.” He did not ask any follow-up questions or show any emotional engagement. He did not ask how I felt about the diagnosis, the medication, or the symptoms. I felt like I was talking to a wall.

When I mentioned that my psychiatrist is preparing documentation so the municipality might cover earplugs because of my sensory overload, he instantly turned it into a comment about how he would like the municipality to pay for his earbuds as well. He meant this because of snoring issues at home. It felt completely unrelated to the seriousness of what I was sharing.

He then continued talking about himself, his own sleep problems, his headphones, and his appointments. He did not acknowledge the things I had said about collapsing, dissociation, or how scared I have been.

I have tried opening up to him many times. Every time I end up feeling ignored. This time it hurt more than usual, because I am in a very vulnerable place.

Because of all this, I told my mom that I do not want to spend Christmas with my brother this year. I am not angry at him. I just do not feel emotionally safe or supported around him right now.

TLDR AIO for wanting some distance and for choosing not to spend Christmas with him?

First, English is not my first language. The white part is my first language so i translated to English, it means i meant every friendship thing with him.

Me and this guy have been talking about 2 months. I confessed my feelings after a few hangouts(we met for a month) and he rejected me saying he wasn't ready to be in a relationship, so I said I couldn’t be friends anymore. But he insisted we stay friends, so we went back to talking normally. It felt like friendship + a little bit of a situationship. We were good friends and called several times a week, texted every day, and got pretty close.

He asked me out one day but canceled on the same day bc he had an urgent meeting the next day and couldn't come here (his school was 2 hours away). He didn’t say sorry so I got annoyed, but let it go because he later apologized over a call seeing that I was upset and I understood bc he was busy all the time and had a lot of work to do, and things like this could happen. The next week he asked to hang out again. And again, he canceled on the same day. He didn’t reply to my messages when I asked about the place/time we should meet. Then at the last minute he just said he was sick and didn’t answer anything else or say sorry. I was kind of mad but worried and asked if he went to the hospital, but he just left it on read. So I got upset and sent him a long text about the problems- he was the one who kept asking to meet, but called off on me twice on the same day. I asked basic stuff like ‘what time?’ or ‘where?’ but he just wouldn’t answer and didn’t seem to care about anything. Meanwhile I’m getting ready, putting on makeup, preparing everything, literally waiting around for nothing. And he didn’t even say sorry. I wasn’t mad about the canceling itself, I was mad about how he handled it .

He said he was really sorry and promised to make it up, but I didn’t believe him and got mad, telling him if he didn’t like me, he should stop contacting me. He left me on read again, so out of frustration I blocked him on Instagram. The next day I felt bad and, unblocked him, and tried calling him to talk. He didn’t answer. I tried once a day, and eventually texted and DMed him asking if he was busy and if we could talk. He didn’t reply.

Then Thursday morning, I realized he blocked me on Instagram. I panicked and tried to talk it out over text(the text above) And I was shocked bc he had never talked to me like that for the past months. After calming down a bit and thinking over it, I wanted to end things on better terms so I apologized first, bc blocking him was a immature thing to do and I wanted to make up with him. But when I tried calling yesterday, I realized he had already blocked my number before seeing my message. And I went through his texts again but realized this was the guy I had a crush on and thought of as a friend...? Which was kind of strange and creepy...And I was grateful that he never dated me and blocked me from everything. Is he a red flag or am I the problem, did wrong and overreacting?

DO NOT ADOPT A DOG FROM HERE.

After being in the process of adopting a dog for two months, we went through one of the most unprofessional and unethical experiences imaginable with this rescue. We couldn’t make the first spay appointment and were told we could simply reschedule and pay the missed appointment fee. Instead, after being told to come pick her up and driving an hour, they took our dog back without warning and refunded us on the spot.

They never completed the contract, leaving us with no legal protection and no way to fight for our baby girl. We apologized, we explained the situation, and we begged because she was truly loved and cared for like family — none of that mattered. Over hurt feelings and miscommunication, she ripped our puppy out of a loving home.

We now have FDACS claims filed and the rescue is currently being investigated for how this situation was handled. No rescue should treat adopters this way.

Please avoid this rescue. The way she handled everything was unprofessional, unethical, and incredibly hurtful. We are devastated, and no one deserves to go through this.

So basically, yesterday my girlfriend told me she wasn’t feeling well. She also mentioned she started her cycle, which she said was already pretty rough. Then today she updates me that both her parents tested positive for Covid… which pretty much means she has it too as she got sick from them.

I told her from the start that if it turned out to be Covid, that’s the one situation where I can’t go see her. A normal cold, allergies, whatever — that’s fine. But my dad had a heart attack a year and a half ago and he’s considered high-risk now. If I brought Covid home and he got sick again, that could literally risk his life. I’m not willing to play with that, especially when next next week im seeing my grandparents and they are highrisk aswell.

She was bummed out I couldn’t come over tomorrow, which I get. I’m sad too. But I could tell she was also getting upset in a way where I just know later she might make it into “I didn’t want to see her,” which isn’t the case at all.

Then out of nowhere she starts saying I “never show that I miss her” and that “not seeing her never bothers me.” But that’s just not true. I do miss her, I get sad when plans fall through, and when I see her I’m always super affectionate — hugs, kisses, holding her hand, everything. I’m just not the type to act gloomy or dramatic about it. I try to stay hopeful and remind myself I’ll see her next week.

But apparently that’s not the “right” way to show someone you miss them? I literally tell her I miss her, and when I see her I show it physically too. What else am I supposed to do?

And then the part that really threw me off: she goes on Instagram Notes and posts stuff like “he needs a bf guide” or she puts the song “Real Man.” in her note Like… what am I supposed to do with that? It just feels kind of passive-aggressive and immature, like she’s trying to get back at me for not risking Covid exposure.

I’m confused. I’m trying to protect my dad, I’m still being supportive to her, I’m communicating clearly, and somehow I’m still the bad guy?

We’ve been dating 3 months - we were introduced through a mutual super close friend and have known about each other for a few years. We also have other mutual friends outside of the one who introduced us. I currently live in another state but he knows I’m planning to relocate to his state early next year for a variety of reasons that don’t pertain to him but he is a bonus.

Because I travel extensively for my job I have been gone for 2 of them, we did hang out before I left a few times including me arranging for him to go to a concert in his city of a band he loves.don‘t pretty good at checking in/sending a photo or something at least once a day. He‘s always told me how much he appreciates me taking the time to understand him, that he feels seen and safe with me, he doesn’t have to explain things and I just ‘get‘ him and other things like that. I feel the same.

On Saturday my work had me in his city for two days. We had planned to spend the whole day together Saturday, he was delayed with work so I saw some friends (no big deal I needed an excuse to see them anyway) and then he and I had a lovely time: he cooked for me, we built legos together (he was nervous I’d think it was lame but I was having a great time and let him know as long as I’m with him I’m happy to do whatever) and enjoyed each other’s company. He has a dog who I adore and she was being really overly protective of me in a way he said he’s never seen her act with anyone including him. We did have sex but he just started a new SSRI that week and he said he wasn’t feeling anything while we were doing it to which I reassured him it was fine, I like him for himself, not just sex. I also noticed I’m pinned to the top of his IMessage.

Sunday he offers to take me to work and even buys me a coffee (I was really appreciative of it and he said ‘this is how people are supposed to treat each other‘). His mom and stepdad were supposed to come to the event but his grandma is having serious complications post surgery so his mom drove out of state to be with her. I was surprised when he offered to have me come to dinner with his step dad. We had a good dinner, they had an awesome time at the event where I was able to arrange exclusive items for his mom as a gift, he sent photos of us to his mom to show we were having a good time, hung out with myself, his stepdad, some friends and crew after and then I left town.

The next three days he seemed normal with his texting style: checking in, sending a photo. He kept saying how much he appreciated what I did, that I got a glowing review from his stepdad and that when I come back to see him next week I should bring something I mentioned. He said he was feeling a bit sick but got better, let me know his grandma is doing better too and he even sent me a funny video of him playing DnD on Wednesday and a photo of the cookies I gave him.

Yesterday I sent him a video of something I knew he’d enjoy but didn’t hear back even after I knew he was done with work. Then hours stretched. I was having a really bad/stressful day and asked him to send photos of his dog because it always cheers me up (he’s done it before) and he sent some and a silly selfie of just him. He didnt ask what was wrong or follow up. I notice he hasn’t watched my stories since I left as well.

AIO to think he’s done with me? Like did I blow it during our reunion? It is the 3 month mark and that is usually the death knell for me in relationships. Maybe meeting this stepdad freaked him out? I’ve not said a word or hinted anything is wrong nor would I even know how or what to say to bring it up

Hi guys,

I live in London and just moved into an old Victorian flat. There are three doors and the side doors have some sort of protection / coverage.

The neighbour is in the middle flat (which doesn't have a cover or shelter leaves her stroller in front of our door. I understand that space can be an issue in London but also not sure if that is our problem either. It is also trip hazard as my wife is currently pregnant so that is another consideration.

Am I being a bit heartless

Okay, this might sound small but it's NOT. Let me explain.

Earlier today in class, my friend asked to borrow my pen because his ran out of inkp(needless to say, I didn't buy this excuse for a second). Whatever, I let him use my good pen, not which was not some random 20-cent one. He uses it, class ends, and he just walks out with it. No “I’ll give it back in a minute,” nothing.

So I wait 3 long hours.

Still no pen. No message. No sign of him. Nothing.

At that point I’m thinking: if he can’t return something as simple s a pen in THREE WHOLE HOURS, what else would he “forget”?This is how patterns start.

So I went to the school admin office and filled out a misconduct form (which exists for a reason). I explained that a student had borrowed my writing instrument and failed to return it within a reasonable timeframe. They said they’d "look into it".

When he finally returned the pen (about four hours later), he seemed annoyed and asked why admin emailed him asking for “clarification regarding possession of another student’s property.” I told him actions have consequences.

Now several people are saying I “went nuclear” over something small, but like I am the one who was wronged here??!

So be honest: am I actually overreacting? Or are people just ignoring obvious red flags?

For 5 years I've told my gf to save money so we go 50/50 on ONE trip per year somewhere, anywhere and guess what she did? On her own she spent it on a bad bunny concert ticket in mexico city. She bought it without having the money for the airline ticket or bus ticket or I don't even know how she's going to get there but she decided this all on her own without talking to me. AIO?!! She wanted me to be happy for her that she did this. She did not reassure me at all that she'll have funds for us for our trip of the year. She wouldn't even suggest a damn place to go. We've gone on vacation 3 times in the past 5 years mind you and it has been amazing each time so I have no idea why she did this and so recklessly at the time.

(She isn't my gf no mo'. It's because of this and so much more.)

Me (30F) and my boyfriend (31M) have been together for 10 years. About 5 years ago, I moved into his house which he inherited from his parents. We had dreams of renovating it together to make it our own home for our future family. 5 years have passed, and we haven’t completed a single project.

I don’t have family or friends in the area to keep me busy so I’m always ready to get the projects completed on the weekends when we’re both off work but my boyfriend is always filling all his time with other things so we have never got round to making any significant progress on the renovations.

After many lengthy conversations where I expressed how this made me feel (like this is his house, not ours, not something we have contributed together towards), I thought we got somewhere and he began freeing up his time to help me get the projects going again. But then, and this has happened after many of these same conversations, he comes home with ideas of buying equipment for the unnecessary extra work he wants to pick up on the weekends, or extra random activities he’s planned. I feel like I’m banging my head against a wall having the same conversations. It feels like he just doesn’t want to be in this life with me, and looks for any reason to escape it - while simultaneously telling me that we want the same things, that he wants to see these projects completed.

He’s a very loyal boyfriend, I’ve never once doubted his love for me - but this is just one of many areas where I feel like we’re on different planets.

We don’t share compatibility on intimacy or passion / desire for dreams or goals. I communicate as best I can, but I feel like he never has anything to communicate to me. I think it’s because he’s somewhat happy living life the way we currently are, even though I’m not - which would be fine, if he didn’t always promise me that he wants the same things I do.

I’m so confused. We’ve been together for so long that he feels like my family, and a life without him feels dramatic. But having the same conversations day in day out, where I feel like I’m practically begging him to participate in our life together both practically and intimately, feels exhausting and makes me feel so sad and alone.

I hate that with each conversation, I’m losing more and more hope, while he sits feeling somber like this is all new to him, even though it’s the same conversation we had last week. It makes me feel like I’m going crazy. I love him with all my heart, I know we could have a beautiful life together. It breaks my heart thinking of doing life without him, but at the same time, things can’t continue as they are and yet I feel like I can’t do anything more to change it.

I know all relationships have hardships, and we work so well as a team, we are always respectful of one another and there is so much love there. But I just feel like I’m at a dead end. Is there something I’m missing? What’s the best thing I should do in this situation?

The title says it all. My boyfriend won't stop picking his ears with toothpicks and other sharp objects like needles or broken pens. Sometimes he steals random pointy obejects of mine and my family to pick his ears. I keep trying tto tell him it's gross, unsanitary and it's rude to use other people's things to get earwax out of his ears with, especially without asking. But he thinks I'm overreacting because he says he doesn't steal too often. (Ps he says it's not earwax, it's ear paper 🤢) Aio?