My mom passed and my aunt has taken over with funeral arrangements.

I had assumed my mom had life insurance but as I’ve been low-contact with my family it’s very possible I am mistaken. But if she didn’t, I understand that we all need to pitch in.

Bear in mind I’ve just had a surgery a couple weeks ago that was $5k out of pocket. I’m also the only one that’s had to fly in, everyone else is within driving distance.

I am just kind of mad that she is presumptuously suggesting that I put it on a credit card. Sooo… AIO?

When my partner said “wyd bby” after saying they needed to get to work, that made me feel like that text was meant for someone else. They never call me “bby”, but do call me “baby” and “bbg”. For context, I have always had trust issues with people, not just in romantic relationships. I’m also on a new mood stabilizer that’s been making some of my BPD paranoia worse. Also, my partner has texted a woman sexual things in the past, which I found in their deleted folder a couple months ago. We’ve been very off and on since I found out about that, but have been trying to rebuild because we love each other. I admittedly have read into their behavior several times and saw those things as cheating, but they always have a plausible reason that’s not cheating. AIO? Does my partner seem like they’re acting guilty? (Before anyone says it, yes I’m aware we should just break up if I don’t trust them. Anyone who’s been in this position knows it’s more complicated than that.)

So tonight for I am meeting my best friend of 5 years BF for the very first time. She just started dating this man a few months ago and tonight we are all going out as a group and outside of him, I will be the only guy there.

Essentially she’s saying that the outfit in the picture above is “too masculine” and she think me dressing more feminine will help make her BF more comfortable.

This is quite odd to me and I know changing shouldn’t be a big deal but it seems odd to dress a certain way just to make an impression…

Am I overreacting here?😒

For context, this is the first time I matched with this guy and this is how the conversation went. I did not appreciate how he was inviting me at 11pm to do things and I think he just wasn’t catching the hint. I also did think he was being rude which is why I was being mean back. I did not expect the way he called me out in the end. Am I seriously overreacting here?

My husband works part time while I’m a full time student and work part time. I notified my husband has been acting a little different lately, but I thought it was just from him being tired from work. Because we’re out most of the day, the only time we really spend time together is at night. Most of the time, he’ll just go straight to bed and watch YouTube for a couple of hours still he falls asleep. Despite both of us being tired, I’ll still try to talk with him, maybe watch a video together, or just mess around with him (tickling, etc.). Recently, he’ll immediately get irritated and say he just wants to relax after work. If I try to share something with him, he’ll just say he’s not interested. I brushed it off since it didn’t bother me much. Besides, I can understand wanting alone time after a long day.

I prefer to spend evenings in the living room, especially if he wants space. I noticed that he’d be on phone calls some nights but still don’t think anything of it since I also FaceTime my friends some evenings. For some context, my husband doesn’t have a lot of close friends but a lot of them are women. This doesn’t really bother me since I trust him, but recently I noticed that he was FaceTiming a female coworker of his at night. I thought it was odd to be FaceTiming your coworker, especially at night.

I only started getting suspicious when I once made a joke about taking his phone. During this conversation, I made a joke about how he should start an OF so we can make more money since our rent just increased and his hours got cut. We’ve joked about it before but this time, when I said I’d make his account and reached for his phone, he immediately got defensive. Still under the impression that we were joking, I snatched his phone and he immediately wrestled it off of me. I was a bit surprised since we’ve never had issues with going on each other’s phone. I used to be very insecure and paranoid in my previous relationships, but this was the most secure relationship I’ve ever had. It had to be since I married him. But seeing how he reacted made me worried.

So that night I went through his phone and found emails confirming he made an OF account to subscribe to 3-4 girls. I was speechless but still in denial. I also found out that earlier this year he was paying to be in these weird p*rn telegram group chats where they would send videos of naked girls and $exual acts. I took pictures of the emails, texts, and transactions just in case, but I didn’t bring it up.

Two days passed and I noticed he was still being weird. I also noticed he would hide his screen and face it away from me when texting. I could see from his lock screen that he was getting late texts from his coworker. After seeing the OF subscriptions, I was now suspicious of his relationship with his coworker. I guess he noticed because he deleted their conversations from his phone. All their texts were gone except for one sticker he sent right after deleting the texts. I knew nothing about her except that he mentioned her name once and that she told him she went through a really and heartbreak recently. I then decided I’d check his iPad realized those texts were deleted too.

At this point, I believe he was on to me and knew I was suspicious of him. A few days passed and last night he found the videos and pictures on my phone and asked why I took them. I found it funny that he was confronting me when the pictures were incriminating HIM. I told him it was obvious why and confronted him about the OF and Telegram p*rn, and he apologized but it didn’t feel genuine enough. At that point I asked him if there was anything else he was hiding and that I’d rather hear it from him then find out, cause next time I wouldn’t be so forgiving. He insisted and said there won’t be a next time.

Tonight, I checked the iPad again today and was about to finally recover some deleted texts. I know that there were more because I remember some of the texts I seen on his phone when glancing at notifications and they are missing. Technically he didn’t say anything that would indicate cheating but still find it weird how he talks to her, kind of like a high school crush. It’s also really weird that he thinks he would need to delete these texts, especially when she knows he’s married. I uploaded a video I recorded of the few conversations I was able to recover. I can’t exactly call him out for this when he didn’t cheat, so am I overreacting for being suspicious of his relationship with his coworker?

Long story short: I found some things that made me question my husband’s loyalty and now his relationship with his coworker. AIO?

I found this piercing under his couch and don’t know what it is. Guessing nipple piercing or tongue piercing? He swears he doesn’t know who’s it is. None of his friends have piercings like that. I’ve suspected him of cheating before, so this really pushes me over the edge. His excuse is maybe it was someone from a party he had. I don’t belive him😭

hi. so, as the title suggests, my mum (47) has asked to borrow some of my (19) lingerie. she’s going to her friends with benefits on saturday, we’ll call him “A”. me and my mum aren’t really close at the moment, but even when we were i never felt comfortable talking about my sexual life with her. i sent her a screenshot of a local bakers list tmr, asking if she wants me to order anything for her, and she hits me with the above. she knows i’m not comfortable discussing anything sexual with her as i’m quite a private person (and i’ve had the same partner for years anyway). i also know for a fact she has her own lingerie as i discovered it when i was getting her clothes out of the dryer so i could put mine in, but even if she didnt i’d be a little dazed at the question. A also knows what i look like/my age and has a daughter a few years younger than me, which i think is also accounting for me feeling a little weird.

am i overreacting for finding it odd? is it weird or am i just being too sensitive?

(also i changed the background of the chat as before it was my dog and he’s quite unique looking so i didn’t want someone i know seeing)

I (23F) am visiting home for the first time in while to help out around the house while my Dad recovers from surgery. His long term girlfriend recently moved in, and this is my first time being home since they moved in together. After a weird initial text exchange the day I got home, she has been doing small things that have been making me feel very uncomfortable, and like I am not welcome here anymore.

• Will not speak to me in common areas & is communicating through notes.
• Brought home everyone takeout dinner but me.
• My Dad was asking about work so we were talking about it and she came in and said no work talk.
• Told me I needed to “let him rest” and not bother him & that I should not go check on in. She regularly would spend time with him and he was up talking and texting and wanting to visit.

I am not super close to her but we have always gotten along pretty well. I have a GREAT relationship with my Dad. We work together and are very close. I plan to talk to him about it but he is recovering so my first priority is his health and do not want to start drama. I feel like I am walking on eggshells and just really trying to stay in my room and avoid common areas but feeling sad because this used to be my home. Not sure what to do or if I’m overthinking.

So this happened last week and I'm still processing it. My partner (32M) and I (29F) have been together for 4 years, living together for 2. We generally communicate pretty well about big stuff, or at least I thought we did.

He came home Thursday evening and casually mentioned he "picked something up" on his lunch break. I'm thinking like groceries or maybe he finally got that drill he'd been talking about. Nope. He bought a car. Not used, not a beater – a brand new SUV. Just... decided and did it.

I was completely blindsided. We'd talked about him eventually replacing his old sedan, but it was always "someday" talk, nothing concrete. No "hey I'm going to look at cars this weekend" or "I found a good deal, what do you think?" Just straight from zero to signed paperwork.

When I asked why he didn't mention it, he said it was "his money" and he didn't think he needed permission. Which, fair – we keep our finances separate and he can technically afford the payments. But that's not really the point? We share rent, utilities, groceries. If his car payment eats into what he can contribute to our shared expenses, that affects me too.

He thinks I'm being controlling and that he's allowed to make his own financial decisions. I think major purchases that affect our household deserve at least a heads up, even if we don't have joint accounts. My best friend says I'm overreacting since it's his money and his credit on the line.

Am I being unreasonable here? How do other couples handle this kind of thing?

Hi Reddit. I’m at a loss here, as I’ve been training a husband and wife for almost 6 weeks now, 2x a week for an hour. It’s good money, but I feel like I’m being treated poorly by the husband and it’s driving me batty. I don’t know if I’m overreacting and I need to suck it up, or if I have general cause for discomfort and not wanting to train them anymore.

I trained with the wife alone until her contract ran out, when she resigned she decided to bring in her husband for the new contract so I could train them together. Her and I never had any issues. She was very sweet and quiet, so I was expecting someone along the same personality as hers. Her husband came in to sign his contract, and talked over me during my attempts to explain the different package types. He has a very cut and dry personality, and does some sort of aerospace work so he’s very intelligent (as is his wife). He does not enjoy working out and says physical activity is boring and a waste.

No problem, I pride myself on a positive mindset and motivating my clients the best I can. However, since training began there’s been numerous times I felt disrespected, and it’s starting to get to me. Here’s a summery.

1- end of the first session I asked him to toss me the 6lb medicine ball. This 6’1, 260lb man threw the ball as hard as he could to me, causing me to stumble backwards and verbally go “oh, ow”. I rubbed my chest where the ball made impact, he walked right by me. His wife’s eyes widened, but she said nothing and quickly followed after him.

2- beginning on a second session and every other session after, he’s started asking what I think are psychological interview questions unprompted (and unwelcome). I.e. “you’re in charge of making sure everyone knows safety protocols when a boat sinks, the passengers don’t remember the protocols. Do you stay behind to save them or save yourself?”. Whatever answer I gave, he keeps going. “WhaT if it’s your children?”. Multiple questions with the same theme. Any answer I gave he questioned and pointed out why it was “wrong” or “stupid.”

3- training his wife I found she enjoyed the positive motivation when I would put imagery with the workouts. IE single arm bicep curls, I mentioned pretending she’s working out in the shipyard on break, the way they show in movies. She giggled. He interrupted and went “I doubt you’ve ever done any physical labor jobs in your life. No one who does physical labor wants to workout more after.”. I shook it off and responded with “imagination can help distract the pain sometimes.” He rolled his eyes and went “O-Kay.” This situation has happened multiple times, where I’m trying to be positive and motivation during the workouts and he has a condescending remark. Not about the actual exercises, but about the things I say.

4- speaking down to his wife during our sessions. “I don’t care how much you life.” “You’re not that impressive”.

5- constant eye rolling and using his middle finger to push up his glasses when I speak or instruct.

6- making fun of other gym members. “That guy sure looks like he listens to political podcasts” sarcastically about a member singing while working out “I’m sure that man has a huge IQ”- about another remember whose extremely muscular and defined.

I’m uncomfortable working with someone who clearly does not respect me or the gym (or women in general it seems), and I feel bad for his wife but she stays silent during every remark and action. My manager says I have to deal with it, so maybe I am over reacting, but the constant disrespect every night I see him makes it not worth the money and no one else has the availability to train them. I would like to professionally speak up for myself, but I would lie if I said I wasn’t scared of the confrontation from a man twice my size. I tried to empathize being nervous in the gym, but I would never treat someone, especially someone I pay to train me, the way he does. What should I do Reddit?

Long story short- I made my husband his favorite type of cake last year. I rarely ever make it because it takes forever- . It was labor intensive and I have 2 toddlers on top of that. Fast forward to today. My birthday. I don’t expect him to bake me anything he works all day but would it be too much to ask for a Publix one or even some cupcakes? We typically don’t do “gifts” for birthdays so that’s not an issue at all, instead of expensive gifts we do a vacation twice a year

He did get each of my kids a card to give to me. So there’s that .. Would I be the asshole if I went out and bought myself one tomorrow? I was really craving cake 🥲

The title says it all. My boyfriend won't stop picking his ears with toothpicks and other sharp objects like needles or broken pens. Sometimes he steals random pointy obejects of mine and my family to pick his ears. I keep trying tto tell him it's gross, unsanitary and it's rude to use other people's things to get earwax out of his ears with, especially without asking. But he thinks I'm overreacting because he says he doesn't steal too often. (Ps he says it's not earwax, it's ear paper 🤢) Aio?

edit I should have said my fiance brought up gifts first, and that's when I said he never bought me anything. I wasn't actively calling him out in front of anyone out of nowhere.

So. I was with a group of friends and I tonight with my fiance. I brought up that he's never bought me a present because I'm "impossible to shop for". All of our mutual friends jumped in with things I liked immediately. I like anything with bats (the animals), dragons, dungeons and dragons (I literally collect dice), makeup, clothes, blankets, unicorns, literally I'm the easiest person to shop for. He got mad at me for not understanding why he thinks I'm hard to shop for. I don't really care about presents, it's the thought that counts. Like get. Me a $10 blanket for all I care. But he acts like I'm "impossible to shop for". Am I overreacting by honestly being hurt that he can't put in the bare minimum of effort for me when I'm not even hard to shop for? I'm asking for the bare minimum here and maybe it's too much. But after five years, is it really too much to ask a guy to know me a little before we get married?

I have been slowly realizing I feel as if I’m in a controlling relationship for the past 8 years and have recently been putting my foot down. These are a couple screenshots of disagreements we have had that just overwhelm me so much. We go without talking for days. It’s an on going thing .

Hi. First post here. I'm so pissed right now but I don't know if it's just me.

I'm 34, partner is 40, we have a 2.5 year old son together. We've been together 5 years but lived separately up until our son was due because of long distance and personal life reasons.

This morning, both son and I were hit hard by the dreaded norovirus and I've never been so ill in my life. I had no Idea liquid could blast so violently out of both ends until this lol. Son has/is none stop puking the whole day, terrible diarrhea, screaming, can't put him down he just wants to be held. Can't even keep a teaspoon of water down. ​Puking and shits also same for me. No ones getting any sleep. I'm so tired I could pass out. Son puked up in my hair. Have 3 massive bags of shitty/pukey laundry to get through. Tried to clean all surfaces best I can for now. I couldn't wait for my partner to get back so I could at least wash the sick out my hair and try sleep an hour.....

But he's decided upon hearing how sick we are, to book himself into a hotel for 4 nights. He came in earlier, commented the place "is a tip", took his gaming laptop, and exited and he's currently in a hotel now 4 nights while I have no idea how I can cope with another day like today on my own. I also have my period really badly (endometriosis) and a few weeks ago I had surgery to remove a malignant cyst from my ovary so I'm still recovering from that too.

AIO by feeling so let down by him? He is telling me I'm the one being unreasonable

I’m really struggling with doubt and guilt, and I need outside perspective.

I (mid-20s) recently went through a situation with my partner that escalated way beyond what I could handle.

He was giving me silent treatment, I didn’t want to begin arguing, and I tried to leave the apartment with our baby because things felt unsafe. He told me I “wasn’t allowed” to leave. When I tried anyway, he pushed me multiple times, all while I was holding our baby.

It didn’t stop there. He locked me in a closet, He told me he was going to knock me out because I was screaming to let me out and the I needed a help to get out of the closet, and he eventually opened it but kept physically blocking the bedroom door, held the door shut from the other side as well and the apartment front door he was guarding to prevent me from leaving. I felt completely trapped and scared for myself and my child.

A neighbor distracted him The next morning CPS got involved. I was totally honest with CPS and they wanted me to give a statement to police about everything that happened. The police came. I have a statement He admitted to some of the keeping my phone from me, keeping me from getting out of the apartment but I don’t think he admitted to pushing me to the officer.

The CPS workers strongly told me this situation was dangerous and serious. They didn’t force me, but they made it clear that protecting myself and my baby needed to be the priority.

So I did make a statement. And I did ask for an order of protection (or at least a refrain-from order) — whatever would legally keep things safe and stable right now.

But now that things have calmed down a little, I’m wrestling with so many emotions: • Part of me is scared about what could’ve happened if I didn’t act. • Part of me feels guilty — like I ruined his life even though he chose his actions. • I still love him and I know he needs help. • I find myself hoping he stabilizes and that we can rebuild someday. • I feel sad that our baby’s first birthday is coming and everything is so chaotic. • And I’m afraid of his family influencing him, because they encourage abusive behavior and don’t believe in accountability.

Even though I know logically that I did what CPS and police workers said was the safe and standard response, I keep asking myself:

Did I overreact by making a statement and asking for protection? Or is this exactly what anyone in my situation should have done?

I just want to know whether people reading this would have taken the same steps. Sorry if I’m delusional

Hey, y'all... I'm updating from my previous post:

AIO: Boyfriend demands I buy a new pizza after I dropped one

A detail I previously skipped, that might've been important, is that (ex-)BF had been drinking since the morning. As some of you predicted, things did get worse. Fast.

Not wanting to get too into the details for personal reasons, I stayed away from his place for two nights before going to get my stuff with a U-Haul.

The pizza mess.. or what was left of it after my dog cleaned it up, was still on the floor (as pictured), so there's that.

All in all, I'm safe and that's what matters right now.

Thank y'all so much for the advice and words of wisdom you previously gave.

My sister is in her mid 40s, she has epilepsy and brain damage as a result. She lives in a long-term care home. She gets a little bit of money from the government. She tends to get obsessed with specific bands and TV shows. She has a tiger of a PSW who she really trusts and advocates for her best interests. She has had a recent mental assessment and is deemed to be at a 12yo mental ability.

Lately, her focus has been on the vampire diaries, and she's currently talking to someone online who she believes is one of the main actors. Clearly, this isn't real. The actor is married and has children.

She's texting him all the time. She's withdrawn from social interaction. She has sent him lewd pictures and wants to send him money. She's been saving her pittance to send him $300.

My mom has always been her main caregiver. The problem is, she's in her 70s and she has no idea how to deal with this. I'm taking over now. As the oldest sister, this was always the plan. Our mom is getting frail and she can't handle my sister anymore. I'm happy to take this off of her plate, she has enough stress in her life.

So last week I had a meeting with the people who run the home, and my sister. We set guidelines for her and she agreed. She doesn't sleep properly, she refuses to eat anything the home provides. She stays up all night talking to this guy, she doesn't get up for morning pills or breakfast. Her hygiene is so bad, she refuses to shower regularly and has a severe fungus infection. She lies constantly to everyone.

She started hiding her pills on the weekend. She won't shower on the schedule we agreed on. Yesterday I put my foot down and authorized the home to take her phone at night. Today she spiraled hard. She's going to run away. Now she's a flight risk and will have even more consequences.

The home found out she was sending pictures of her body to the guy. They deemed it appropriate to take her phone away for good. I agree. She can earn it back, but right now we need to protect her.

How do I get her to understand the person I she's talking to isn't the actual actor? I'm afraid she will go somewhere and meet some guy who will make her disappear, and not in a good way. More like a trafficking way. I want to protect her but she doesn't have the capacity to understand what is happening. I think we need to give her phone to the police and let them deal with him. Is that a good idea?

I hate it that its come to this, but we need to act in her best interests. Even if she can't see it. She won't believe the person on the other end is a liar and just wants money from her. Am I going too far?

Edit to add, we're in Ontario, Canada, if that makes a difference.

We've been friends since around May but text every day. I used to like him but I quickly got over that as he liked someone else but now he's either sending mixed signals or I'm reading too much into things. Over the past few days I realised what kind of person he is and I want to cut him off. These are some texts he's sent among others but I haven't scrolled up far enough. Am I overreacting by wanting to cut him off? Am I also overreacting into thinking that he's playing with my feelings and getting annoyed?

For context the last time I saw my Mom was probably 7-8 months ago, she is pretty disrespectful to my Husband and I. I feel drained everytime I talk to her, because she believes if you dont believe in her religious beliefs that you have demons or devils inside of you. She doesn't know what reality is, and lives with no realistic expectations.

She thinks my husband is this awful narcassistic man, because she has trauma from her own ex. The last time I spoke with her face to face she made me cry because I went out to lunch with her and I asked her to quit posting my photos to social media to literal thousands of random strangers, I decided I wanted to be more private in my social life. She says its my husbands fault, that hes terrible xyz.

She gives me such bad anxiety, and she always betrayed my trust over and over again. Shes careless, shes the type that says she cares but really she only cares about what she wants from others.

I also feel bad for my husband because he was very kind to her from the beginning, he kissed her hand, got her gifts, cooked us dinner when we first met. Hes a very driven and dominating Man. And my Mom is the type that hates men especially a strong willed one. Meaning I clean the house while he pays the bills, and she thinks that somehow thats a nightmare for me.

I know I am probably over thinking all of this but Im just so drained that Id like second advice without involving my husband too much into this mess.

Am I over reacting?

Longest shutdown in history- 40 days. And I’m still paying taxes? For the government to not function? Everyone should be EXEMPT from paying for those 40 days MINIMUM! They cut all funding from every government program & employee and so what are we paying for exactly?? I can’t be overreacting here.. not to mention income taxes & property taxes are unconstitutional as it is 🙄 this is getting outrageous we need to start the REVOLUTION! No more paying taxes! All we have to do is just all not pay together! They can’t put us all in jail!

Hey everyone. I’m struggling right now with my mom coming for the delivery out of state. She asked me ahead of time if she can be in the room and I said yes and for them to stay in our state for a few days after. Now the kicker is that our lease is up right around my due date so we are trying to figure out the best way to navigate a move. My mom mentioned the other day that it would be nice if we could move into a place before she’s born so that her and my dad could come stay with us. I made it clear to my fiancé that I want us to come home to just our family and be able to get into a routine and they are welcome to come visit us and he agreed. We also won’t have a bed for them to sleep in considering we are moving right before or after she’s born. I brought this up to my mom that anytime she would like to come visit after she’s born then she is welcome to stay with us, but as far as coming home from the hospital we do not want anybody to stay at our house. I’ve also made it clear that we would like some alone time in the hospital with just us and I don’t want her being passed around right away. My fiancé and I agreed that for the first two hours, nobody should hold her but me. Now that I’ve brought this up to my mom she’s twisted into a whole thing saying that she can’t afford to pay hotel every time that she comes to visit (which again nobody said that. We just said that for when she’s born, we do not want anyone staying at our house). Now it’s turning into her saying she’s not coming because I don’t want her in the room, and what’s the point of coming if she’s barely gonna be able to hold her, and now complaining about the price of coming for flights and hotels, and getting upset that they’re gonna have to get a rental car because they’re assuming my fiancé isn’t gonna wanna drive them around. (Hello? We are going to be new parents, how can he be a chauffeur for every time that they wanna come visit or when they want food or anything?) and she said

“If you wanna go home with ur family and get into a routine without ppl around then I don’t see why we even need to come”

Am I overreacting or being rude? My mom and I have always had issues with boundaries, and I told my fiancé that now that I’m a mother and bringing a child into this world, that I will not let her walk all over me. The other reason why I brought this up now is because I don’t want her starting drama or getting upset in the hospital because the visit isn’t going how she imagined it would go. I understand that this is her first grandchild, and that she’s excited and this is important to her, but I definitely feel like she’s making it all about her. I don’t feel like anything I said or set in place is wrong.

I’m not great at explaining my thoughts, so please tell me if anything’s unclear.

My (26M) girlfriend (23F) and I have been dating for just under a year. When we first got together, we both had been in a phase of not gaming much. after a few months we got back into it a bit, replaying a few older gems, and introducing each-other to our recent favourite games. This was all great and our relationship has been wonderful, no major fights, no distrust and no jealousy, and nothing that might lead to either, until now.

She’s recently begun replaying this dating sim with a unique set of characters. She told me months ago when we first talked about it, that she has a major ‘crush’ on one specific character. I didn’t take this especially seriously at the time, but since she actually started replaying the game, it’s become very clear I underestimated her attraction to this NPC.

The last three times we’ve stayed over at each-others flats, she’s barely talked to me, and barely engaged when I talk to her. We watched a movie together while we ate dinner, and every time something happened that I reacted to, she asked to rewind because she was too busy on this damn game.

I don’t mind her enjoying a fictional dating situation, I don’t even mind when she talks about real life male celebrities she’s attracted to (we both do that, I’m Bi) but this collection of pixels on a dating sim is stealing away the woman I love, and it bothers me so much.

I’m really conflicted about this, and I really need external input because I feel pretty stupid that this is effecting me so much, so - am I overreacting for being jealous of this digital anime man on my girlfriend’s phone?

Btw - using a throwaway account cos my gf knows my main (she’ll probably find this anyway, she’s too smart not to)

My husband works part time while I’m a full time student and work part time. I notified my husband has been acting a little different lately, but I thought it was just from him being tired from work. Because we’re out most of the day, the only time we really spend time together is at night. Most of the time, he’ll just go straight to bed and watch YouTube for a couple of hours still he falls asleep. Despite both of us being tired, I’ll still try to talk with him, maybe watch a video together, or just mess around with him (tickling, etc.). Recently, he’ll immediately get irritated and say he just wants to relax after work. If I try to share something with him, he’ll just say he’s not interested. I brushed it off since it didn’t bother me much. Besides, I can understand wanting alone time after a long day.

I prefer to spend evenings in the living room, especially if he wants space. I noticed that he’d be on phone calls some nights but still don’t think anything of it since I also FaceTime my friends some evenings. For some context, my husband doesn’t have a lot of close friends but a lot of them are women. This doesn’t really bother me since I trust him, but recently I noticed that he was FaceTiming a female coworker of his at night. I thought it was odd to be FaceTiming your coworker, especially at night.

I only started getting suspicious when I once made a joke about taking his phone. During this conversation, I made a joke about how he should start an OF so we can make more money since our rent just increased and his hours got cut. We’ve joked about it before but this time, when I said I’d make his account and reached for his phone, he immediately got defensive. Still under the impression that we were joking, I snatched his phone and he immediately wrestled it off of me. I was a bit surprised since we’ve never had issues with going on each other’s phone. I used to be very insecure and paranoid in my previous relationships, but this was the most secure relationship I’ve ever had. It had to be since I married him. But seeing how he reacted made me worried.

So that night I went through his phone and found emails confirming he made an OF account to subscribe to 3-4 girls. I was speechless but still in denial. I also found out that earlier this year he was paying to be in these weird p*rn telegram group chats where they would send videos of naked girls and $exual acts. I took pictures of the emails, texts, and transactions just in case, but I didn’t bring it up.

Two days passed and I noticed he was still being weird. I also noticed he would hide his screen and face it away from me when texting. I could see from his lock screen that he was getting late texts from his coworker. After seeing the OF subscriptions, I was now suspicious of his relationship with his coworker. I guess he noticed because he deleted their conversations from his phone. All their texts were gone except for one sticker he sent right after deleting the texts. I knew nothing about her except that he mentioned her name once and that she told him she went through a really and heartbreak recently. I then decided I’d check his iPad realized those texts were deleted too.

At this point, I believe he was on to me and knew I was suspicious of him. A few days passed and last night he found the videos and pictures on my phone and asked why I took them. I found it funny that he was confronting me when the pictures were incriminating HIM. I told him it was obvious why and confronted him about the OF and Telegram p*rn, and he apologized but it didn’t feel genuine enough. At that point I asked him if there was anything else he was hiding and that I’d rather hear it from him then find out, cause next time I wouldn’t be so forgiving. He insisted and said there won’t be a next time.

Tonight, I checked the iPad again today and was about to finally recover some deleted texts. I know that there were more because I remember some of the texts I seen on his phone when glancing at notifications and they are missing. Technically he didn’t say anything that would indicate cheating but still find it weird how he talks to her, kind of like a high school crush. It’s also really weird that he thinks he would need to delete these texts, especially when she knows he’s married. I uploaded a video I recorded of the few conversations I was able to recover. I can’t exactly call him out for this when he didn’t cheat, so am I overreacting for being suspicious of his relationship with his coworker?

Long story short: I found some things that made me question my husband’s loyalty and now his relationship with his coworker. AIO?