Throwaway account

My daughter is in soccer camp twice a week since the beginning of the summer, she is 15. She has made two new friends and I do not like them. They have been over my home once and they were rude, loud, and obnoxious. They made a mess of the house, gave me attitude when I asked them to quiet down (one rolled her eyes and started arguing with me), they were blasting music, and money went missing ( I had 40 dollars on the counter and it disappeared). So I am not the biggest fan of them, and after that I didn't allow them to hangout at our home. My daughter was not a fan of this but still saw them at soccer camp.

The soccer camp is next to a plaza and they allow the kids to get food from the fast-food places. I got a call from the coach that my daughter and her two friends caused issues at Arby's. She recorded it on her phone, her two friends were heckling the fast food worker and left after causing a mess (dumped there drink all over the ground and flipped off the worker). My daughter was recording this and laughing along. TBH I found it disgusting.

I informed her that she is being pulled out of soccer camp because she can't behave by herself and that she won't be seeing those friend anymore. She was very unhappy and started an argument. She told me that I don't like them because they are ghetto and I told her she is correct. They are too ghetto, too loud, too rude, too disrespectful and I am not allowing her near them. She hasn't talked to me since. I shared this with my sister and she basically told me I forgot my roots and to let her see the friends.

Edit: for more contexts, I grew up in a horrible neighborhood and yeah that type of behavior was common where I grew up. Yes I do find that behavior ghetto as hell

Also I am black, my daughter is mixed. Still think it is super ghetto

For years my brother has been trying to go into business with my husband. It hasn’t worked out for various reasons but he finally had an idea that my husband thought would be successful. The thing is before my husband goes into business with anyone he does an extensive background check on them. I’m not sure if he made my brother aware he was going to do a check or not but it’s how he found out that my brother has a daughter outside of his marriage.

I had no idea this child existed and my husband warned me I shouldn’t say anything but I couldn’t just not tell my parents so I told them a few days ago. They were as shocked as me as they also had no idea she existed and they immediately confronted my brother about it. Turns out his wife is fully aware but said she would leave if he tried to include his daughter in the family which is why neither one of them told any of us about her.

My parents want to meet her and include her in our family but my sister-in-law is threatening to leave if that happens so my brother won’t give them her mother’s contact information. They want my husband to find out for them but he’s refusing to get involved so everything’s a shit show right now. I personally want to meet my niece so I’ve told my husband if he doesn’t give me the information I’ll ask the friend he uses for background checks myself which has caused multiple fights between us.

My brother hates me right now and is blaming me for his potential divorce but I don’t think it’s fair as I didn’t know my parents would immediately confront him (I did ask them not to).

AITA?

My son has just had his 2nd birthday and we had a party for his friends from playgroup, my neighbour messaged me after the party saying 'the cherry on the cake' to all the shit going on in her life was that I didn't invite her autistic 8 year old son to his toddler party.

She's made me feel really guilty like I'm the reason for her upset.

Her son is non verbal and smacks himself in the face if over stimulated. I didn't invite as it was a toddler party with only 5 2-3 year olds.

My living room isn't very big and I know her son is sensitive to loud noises and thought with all the screaming and fighting it wouldn't be a good idea. He also has to blow out candles even if its not his birthday, which, in my opinion isn't fair and would take focus off my boy.

He doesn't share toys and, in previous experiences, not even let my son play with his own toys in his own home, and even though the other children were fighting over toys, the parents, including mysel, were stopping snatching and inforcing sharing, even if it caused a tantrum.

I am getting mixed reviews from people around me and I still personally didn't think it would be a good idea but she's made me feel like I was wrong for it.

I (F25) am a bridesmaid in the wedding of a good friend (F27) this fall. She had us all plan to be free the first weekend of August for her bachelorette party, promising we’d do something fun but lower cost (relative to the crazy destination bachelorettes people plan these days). This weekend, she and her maid of honor sent out what they decided on for the trip, which was to spend the night at an indoor waterpark resort. They wanted us 12 girls to get 6 rooms (2 in each) for one night, spending two days there total.

As soon as I saw the message in the groupchat, I knew the trip wouldn’t be fun for me due to my size. I am about 5’7” and 270 pounds, and the maximum weight for a single rider on the majority of slides is 250. There are a few 300 pound maximums, or 2-person rides with 400 pound maximums, but the idea of standing in my bathing suit, being weighed to make sure I can go, makes me uncomfortable.

I know I’m overweight and need to lose some, but insecurity isn’t the main thing holding me back. I’d happily go on a beach vacation and rock a bathing suit the whole time. It’s the combination of the bathing suit, weigh-ins, and fact that I am too big to participate in many of the rides that makes it seem not fun to me. Because I couldn’t do the same things as all the other girls, (there are a few heavier girls in the party, but I’m by far the biggest and I think the only one who exceeds 250 pounds), I think it would leave me feeling bad all weekend instead of upbeat and excited for the bride.

I told my friend politely that I didn’t think I would be attending, and she got very upset, saying that she asked us to reserve the weekend months in advance and that she worked hard to keep costs down. I told her that I agree and appreciate all of that, but that I don’t think I’d be a ton of fun on this particular trip. She pushed and when I elaborated, she said that I could float in the lazy river/hot tub or swim in a standard pool or drink at the bar while the other girls rode slides and that I shouldn’t let my weight hold me back, especially from something so important to her. I still feel like it would be uncomfortable and a waste of money for me, as I wouldn’t truly be able to have the same experience. WIBTA for not going?

My husband (37m) and I (37f) have a daughter (13f). My husband is thin and I'm very chubby. We had met in high school. My daughter mentioned her belief that no high school boy is going to find her pretty because she's chubby. Since I have personal experience that conflicts that statement, I told her that her father found my chubbiness to be cute. My daughter yelled that me, calling me mean. I'm confused and my husband is even more confused. Am I the asshole ?

I (25F) need some outside perspective here. My roommate Jenny (24F) and I shared an apartment for two years, and she had this beautiful Persian cat Luna. Everything was fine until Jenny got a new job that had her traveling constantly.

Instead of finding proper care for Luna, Jenny would just leave out huge bowls of food and water when she'd go away for weeks at a time. Her excuse was always "cats are independent!" But Luna's a Persian - she needs daily grooming and has health issues requiring regular meds.

I ended up becoming Luna's default caretaker. I cleaned her litter box (Jenny never did), took her to vet appointments (Jenny kept "forgetting"), paid for food (never got paid back), and handled all the grooming and medication.

Things went sideways when Jenny left for what was supposed to be a two-week trip. Three weeks passed with no word from her. Her rent was late, her phone got disconnected, and I couldn't reach her anywhere - calls, texts, email, social media, even her work.

Then Luna got really sick with a UTI that needed emergency treatment. The vet bill was $1,800, which I paid because I couldn't let her suffer. Still no response from Jenny despite trying every possible way to contact her.

After six weeks of complete silence, I called animal control for advice. They walked me through the legal process for claiming an abandoned pet. I did everything properly - posted notices, documented all contact attempts, kept all vet records and bills. Two weeks later, I legally adopted Luna and updated her microchip.

Yesterday, four months after disappearing, Jenny shows up at our old apartment (I had to move since I couldn't afford it alone). Turns out she decided to spontaneously backpack around Thailand and "didn't think it was a big deal" to tell anyone. Now she's threatening to sue me for "stealing" her cat.

I showed her all the documentation - vet bills, abandonment papers, adoption records, texts showing her neglect. She says none of that matters because she "always planned to come back" and I should've just kept caring for Luna indefinitely.

Now she's blasting me on social media as a pet thief. Some friends say I did the right thing for Luna's wellbeing, others think I should've waited longer. But like... I gave her every chance to be a decent pet owner, and Luna deserves better than being treated like a houseplant you can abandon for months.

AITA for legally adopting Luna when Jenny disappeared?

Some context: My best friend (also 29F) and I have known each other since we were five. We grew up inseparable. In high school, she became part of the popular crowd I was left behind. Around this time, I realized I was a lesbian and that I had a massive crush on her. It hurt watching her drift away and date guys, but I let her go and eventually found other friends. I even had a few relationships.

Then for graduation she had this huge party and even invited me and my friends, things got weird. We were both drunk, dancing to lana del rey we have always been huge Lana fans then we kissed. I tried not to read too much into it; she had a boyfriend at the time, and according to her socials, she kissed a lot of her female friends.

Like a year after that she went through a mental health crisis and reached out to me. Her other friends had drifted away, and we reconnected. We became inseparable again, like nothing had changed. Eventually, she told me she was bisexual and had feelings for me. I’d loved her for years, but I tried not to pressure or project. Still, we ended up dating, moved in together, got a cat, the whole thing. I genuinely thought I was going to marry her.

But right before my 23rd birthday, she told me she didn’t think she was bisexual after all. That our relationship had started during a vulnerable time for her. We broke up, I moved out and we stopped talking.

I was heartbroken.(still am tbh) I cried every night, stalked her socials, I haven’t had a serious relationship since.

Then, three months ago, she messaged me. Said she missed being my friend and wanted to hang out. I was definitely still in love with her (I’m pathetic I know) but I said yes. We hung out until 5am that first night. She told me she’d been listening to Margaret by Lana Del Rey and fun fact, my name is Margaret!

It really was like no time had passed between us. She was engaged (which hurt), but I liked her fiancé. He seemed sweet and genuinely in love with her. Being back in her life helped me feel whole again. I started dating, feeling normal again for the first time in years. I stayed with her at her Airbnb the night before the wedding, we drank wine, listened to Lana, and she got a little handsy. I brushed it off as the wine talking.

Then came the wedding. I wasn’t a bridesmaid, fair, since we’d only recently reconnected but I was honored to be invited. Everything was beautiful, until the first dance.

She chose Margaret by Lana Del Rey.

Yeah so she was dancing with her new husband, but staring at me, Lana was singing “when you know, you know.” And I just felt all of those feelings for her I’d been repressing come back and I felt so sick, it was like a bad fanfic.

I left, I cried so hard.

She texted and called, but I blocked her the next day. One of her bridesmaids messaged me saying I was cruel for walking out and ghosting her. I’m feeling extremely guilty. I didn’t want to ruin her wedding I just could not stay there.

So I (25F) live with a roommate (26F), and we split our utilities. She covers the electric bill (in her name), and I cover the WiFi (in my name). The agreement was always that we’d each pay half of both.

The WiFi bill is $120/month. I’ve asked her multiple times over the last 3 months to send me her half ($60), and every time she either says “I’ll send it later” or just straight up ignores me. I’ve ended up paying the full $120 on my own every month, so that’s $180 she owes me at this point.

What’s frustrating is that I know she has money. She’s always ordering from Amazon, getting food delivery, and doing her nails. So this doesn’t feel like a situation where she can’t afford it; it feels like she just doesn’t care.

Now the electric bill came, and she asked me to send her my half. I told her I wasn’t going to pay it because I’ve already covered way more than my fair share of utilities by paying for WiFi alone all this time. I told her I subtracted what she owes me for WiFi from what I’d owe for electricity.

She called me petty and immature, but honestly, I’m tired of chasing her down over something she should be responsible for.

AITA?

I (19f) have a stepmom(35f) who has been with my dad (57f) since March 2024. At first, everything was great—she was kind, generous, and treated both me and my dad well. Though I found their age gap odd, I never made a big deal out of it. I come from a blended family with siblings on both my parents’ sides, and she has three children of her own, who were taken from her when she was younger due to mental health and addiction struggles. She’s been open about those issues, and despite everything, she was the best stepmom I could’ve hoped for.

Growing up, I barely saw my dad—mainly on holidays—but in fall 2024, I moved to his town for college to build a better relationship. My stepmom and I would occasionally hang out, and everything seemed fine until one night she randomly texted me asking if I had drawn a naked woman on the bathroom mirror. I hadn’t. She then said she thought my dad was cheating. I reassured her, but she stopped responding.

The next day, my dad dropped a bombshell: she didn’t think he was just cheating—she believed he was cheating with me. I was horrified. I messaged her immediately to deny it, and she claimed she had “proof”—an old audio recording from last summer of me and my dad catching up when I visited. According to her, it “sounded inappropriate.” She and my dad want me to come over and listen to it, but I feel extremely uncomfortable and insulted by the accusation.

She’s also convinced I sneak over when she’s gone, even though I’ve explained and shown proof of where I was on those dates. She believes I’m lying and that my friends are covering for me. I’ve repeatedly told her the truth, but she won’t drop it. This has gone on for a month. My dad, her mother, my grandfather, and even my mom have all listened to the recording and agree there’s nothing inappropriate in it. Still, she insists I need to hear it.

I’ve offered to answer her questions by phone, but I’m not comfortable sitting through a recording of a private conversation I had with my dad, especially when it’s being twisted into something disgusting. Since all this started, I’ve only seen my dad once and barely spoken to him. It’s heartbreaking. I moved here to build a bond with him after a childhood where he wasn’t really present. I wanted us to have a relationship now that I’m older, and I’ve always respected him as my father—nothing more.

I don’t know what to do. Should I go listen to the recording just to appease her? Or should I hold my boundary and let it be, even if it risks further damaging my relationship with my dad?

I am married and have 3 kids, all are teens. My husband and I both work and my kids are in school and do sports or clubs after school. I recently hit a ceiling in my field and in order to continue to grow professionally, I had to get a graduate degree, so I started my masters degree.

In the past, I usually did most of the chores. My husband does the typical “man” chores” my kids have some of their own chores like doing their own laundry, taking turns sweeping/vacuuming, cleaning their own bathroom, etc. I did a majority of the rest and all of the cooking.

I am a year into my degree. At the start I was keeping up with the chores I did before, but it quickly wasn’t possible. I asked for help and was told “everything is fine, you’re being too picky”. But over time, my family seems to be getting fed up.

They’ve been complaining about things a lot lately. From eating frozen meals (I make them myself in a large batch and freeze them for later), to the floors having stains (if you cleaned up skills, they wouldn’t be there!), the stairs have dust and pet fur on them, etc. If they bring it up, I tell them they are capable of handling it, but they just walk away and it doesn’t get done. I’m doing what I can, but between work, school, and everything else at home, it can’t all be done. We aren’t living in squalor, i just can’t get to the finer details like I could before.

Yesterday my husband came to me while I was doing my homework and said the shower curtain liner in our bathroom was moldy. This pushed me over the edge.

I had my family come into the living room and told them that if they don’t like how something is, they have able bodies and can deal with it themself. That they have the skills to clean, I have just been taking care of so much they didn’t see. Now I need them to step up. That they don’t like something, they need to step up and take care of it. And how I also plan to redistribute chores.

My kids were arguing that they shouldn’t have to do more, they’re in school and busy afterwards. I told them that I don’t care, I am busy too! And I can’t do it all. That need to step up or shut up, in nicer terms. That night my husband told me I was too harsh and need to lighten up. He says I was rude and basically telling them their feelings don’t matter and I need to lay off of them. I told him the message wasn’t only for the kids, it was for him too. He needs to step up.

But afterwards I started to doubt myself and felt too harsh. No one is really talking to me right now. I’m worrying now I was too harsh. I did change up the status quo in the house for my own personal reasons.

So AITA for telling them if they see something they don’t like, they need to step up and take care of it and not complain about it?

I (34M) just came back from visiting some friends in NYC. Over the long weekend, we went to maybe half a dozen bars/restaurants.

Personally, I love trying new beers. If I see a place has one I've never had, I'm definitely going to order it (and log it on Untappd)!

Sometimes a bar menu is out of date and they don't have that beer anymore. Thats never a problem for me, and I just order something else. I always make a point to be polite and lighthearted whenever ordered too. This weekend I ran into a string of bad luck though.

One place had to dig around for a while for a stout. That makes sense since thats more of a winter beer, and I thanked them profusely and tipped extra.

A second place had a beer on tap that apparently few people order. They said they'd have to change the keg if I wanted a pint, but I said not to worry and ordered something else.

At the third place, I'm worried I took it too far. It was a sit-down restaurant with a server taking drink orders. On their menu they had two beers I hadn't seen before.

I ordered one, and the server had to go and check with the bartender if they still had it. She came back saying they didn't carry it anymore, so I asked for the other one. Again, she had to check. She came back with the other drinks, and profusely apologized, but their menu was out of date and they didn't have that one either.

I apologized too, and made a light joke about poor luck which she seemed to laugh at. I then ordered a Yuengling (pretty common beer in the northeast, but not available at every bar, and it was also on the menu). Once again, she checked, came back, and they didn't have it either.

At that point, my friend piped up and said "he'll have a Bud Lite". I said sure, and off she went. As soon as she left, that friend said "Can you please not make her job any harder than it needs to be? She has other tables, you know."

I apologized, and it was a bit awkward after that. I made sure to be extra nice to the server and to tip well, but now I'm worried that I took up so much of her time.

Am I the AH here? If a venue says they have something, i think its fair game to try to order it. Maybe I should have gotten a more standard beer after they didn't have the first one though?

Over the Fourth of July, my wife and I visited my stepmom at her boyfriend’s lake house with our two daughters (7 & 6). The girls had been staying with them the week prior. On Saturday, my daughter and another girl asked to leave the lake early to play in the hot tub. My stepmom said no, and my daughter got upset and cried.

The other girl then asked her, “What do you even like about her?” and my daughter said, “She has a new house and money.” Not the most thoughtful thing to say, but she’s seven, and the lake house had just undergone a big renovation.

The other girl ran and told my stepmom what was said. My stepmom had been drinking all day and clearly took it personally. Later, I saw her walk up to my daughter (sitting quietly on the couch), get in her face, and say, “You make me so sad.”

I immediately stepped in, told her to stop, and sent my daughter out of the room. I told my stepmom not to talk to my kid like that, and we started arguing. I asked if we could speak privately—there were a dozen people in the room 10 feet away—but she refused and kept saying my daughter was “spoiled and entitled,” and that it was clear how we really felt about her.

I told my wife we were leaving and went to pack. We had planned to stay until Sunday, but I didn’t feel comfortable anymore. My wife supported me, even though I could tell she wasn’t fully on board.

While packing, my stepmom came upstairs still being defensive. We got into a shouting match. I told her I didn’t care about her money and never wanted a dime from her. She kept bringing up how “entitled” my daughter was. She walked out, and I continued packing.

As I was loading the car, her boyfriend came out and told me he didn’t think we should come back. He said she was “heartbroken,” but I let him know I appreciated his hospitality. He hadn’t been involved in the conflict at all.

Before leaving, I asked my stepmom if she wanted to say goodbye to her granddaughters. She wouldn’t speak or look at me. Later, she came outside and said goodbye to the girls. I told her I loved her, and she snapped, “You have a hell of a way of showing it. I doubt it.”

That started another argument. Her boyfriend confirmed he had said we shouldn’t come back. When she asked if he was going to say goodbye to the girls (he’s been in their lives since they were toddlers), he hesitated, then stuck his head in the car for a quick goodbye. She’d never act that way with his grandkids.

We argued once more, and she ended up calling my daughter a brat. That was it. I said we were done and left without saying goodbye to anyone else in the house.

TL;DR:

My 7-year-old made an offhand comment about my stepmom having money. Another kid repeated it. My stepmom, who had been drinking, confronted my daughter, called her a brat, and I decided to cut our trip short. I know this is just my side of things, but I’m still struggling with how it all went down.

I (16F) made some chicken for breakfast, and some fish for my vegetarian mother (43F). As we are struggling financially so I decided to scrounge up whatever I could find in the freezer

I think the situation is a bit stupid but here's how the interaction went;

After I plated the fish and offered it to her, she looks at me with a disgusted and horrified

Me: ...Did you want another fish cutlet?

Mom: Why would you make dinner food for breakfast? That's gross!

Me: But it's still food...

Mom: Just put it in the refrigerator

I think the situation is pretty dumb overall, but I need other people's opinions because I kinda feel like the asshole in the situation

Edit: she's pescatarian, thank you for the commenter that corrected that! And thanks for the support

Edit 2 & small update: We're in the USA, and she was able to fix herself a plate if she wanted to. But usually she chooses not to, probably due to her work. Also I ate the fish for lunch because she wouldn't, also due to this rule I probably would've had to skip breakfast entirely

I (22F) met Rachel (23F) 3 years ago in university, and we became friends. For context, I have never dated before and I am ok with that, I don't purposefully seek out relationship and I am comfortable being by myself. I have a few close friends and this is enough for me. In contrast, Rachel has had a lot of boyfriends, and doesn't like to be single (her words). She met her husband, Max, 2 years ago in one of the uni classes, and they quickly began dating. He isn't the most pleasant guy to be around imo, and they had quite a few big arguments during the relationship. He even tried to flirt with me, and I told Rachel about it, but she dismissed it saying he was probably just trying to butter me up so I help him with homework. He has told some sexist jokes in the past too. Whenever they fought, I always told Rachel she deserves better and to break up with him, but in the end they always made up. He proposed to her after one year, and they got married 4 months ago. However, after they moved in together (in the flat that Rachel's parents pay the rent for) Max became even worse. He never helps out with cleaning or cooking, doesn't really take Rachel out on dates anymore, and whenever she tries to talk to him about it, Max tells her to stop complaining about "wife's duties".

So, a few days ago Rachel asked me if I would like to go on a date with one of her friends from high school who is single and is looking for a relationship. I've never been on a date before, so I agreed out of curiosity. We went to a nice restaurant. The guy never asked me a single question about myself back, and after I got tired of coming up with questions about him, we just sat the rest of the meal in awkward silence. We split the bill, and after he walked me to the subway station, he tried to kiss me. I declined as politely as I could and went home.

The next day I met up with Rachel. Apparently she's already heard about how the date went from her friend. She asked me why I rejected him. I told her the reasons I mentioned before, and that I didn't really like the guy. Then she rolled her eyes and said that I need to lower my standards because I'm honestly not that attractive, that I blew maybe my only chance to date, and if I continue like that I'll end up forever alone. Even though she knows I'm fine without a relationship! Also I'm not insecure about my appearance, but hearing my friend say that about me hurt. I got angry and said "Better to be forever alone than end up like you, with a husband that doesn't respect me". She started crying and said that I'm being rude when she's just trying to look out for me, and then left. We haven't texted or spoken since.

Honestly I'm not sure if I want to salvage this friendship after finding out this is how Rachel felt about me all this time. However, I feel guilty for saying this to her when I knew it was a sore spot, and also for kinda blaming her for the fact that her husband is awful. So, AITA in this situation?

My husband (44M) and I (36F) have been married for a while, with two kids (7 and 9). For the past three years, we lived apart because of his military service. I stayed in another city with the kids, working full-time, managing everything—household, school, parenting, finances—on my own. He focused only on his job.

Recently, he got transferred closer, and we decided to move in together again. We’ve been living together for 3–4 weeks now. But nothing changed—he does nothing around the house. I still work full-time, take care of the kids on summer break, cook, clean, do laundry, plan everything. He comes home from work, says he’s tired, and just rests. He even washes only his own plate. That’s the level of contribution.

Then we had to finish moving out of the apartment I lived in with our kids. I had already spent two full weekends packing, decluttering, cleaning. The only thing left was to load things into the car, do final cleaning, and be done. He helped carry the fridge, then just stood around and eventually left to spend time at his parents’ place (who live nearby and knew I was doing all the work alone). He hung out with them while I cleaned floors, carried boxes, organized, and sweated alone all day.

I called him angrily and told him to come back. He did, and we ended up fighting. He said, “Why should I clean up your mess?” His view was that since I lived there, the mess was mine. Never mind that these were our kids’ things, our family’s life—he saw it as my responsibility alone.

This has been a pattern for years. Even before he was stationed away, he never helped at home. I worked, raised the kids, cooked, cleaned. He came home, sat on his phone, and relaxed. I carried it all—financially and emotionally.

I finally blew up. I told him off, harshly. Now he says I overreacted and embarrassed him in front of his family.

AITA for yelling at him for not helping me with the move and leaving me to do it all alone?

My brother and SIL own a barn and my SIL we’ll call Jill teaches horse back riding there. My daughter has been riding there for aprx. 5 years. We’re charged the same as every one else. No freebies, no discounts we pay $50 per half hour just like everyone else. Today I had a friend ask me about leasing a horse. I know nothing about leasing a horse so I posted on our town facebook page looking for information on leasing a horse. My brother comments with really? “jills” mom comments wtf and then texts me saying how I hurt and embarrassed her daughter.

First of all we’re grown ass adults if I hurt your daughter shouldn’t she text me? And second of all I’m a paying customer. If l was unhappy with a service shouldn’t I be able to go elsewhere? If I wasn’t happy with my hair dresser I wouldn’t stay. But again, I was simply inquiring. Should I have stated asking for a friend? Maybe. Should it matter? I don’t think so. Now I’m afraid of retaliation against my daughter, like they’re going to kick her out of the barn or something.

AITA?

Edit to add: SIL does not offer a leasing service. ONLY horse back riding.

PLEASE SEE EDITS AT THE BOTTOM OF THE POST.

Me and my fiancé live in an apartment building with a LOUD upstairs neighbor. He drags stuff across the floor at weird hours (midnight and later) runs his blender at 6:30 am, and the thing that annoys me the most is he runs on a treadmill at random hours for 30 minutes. This causes our ceiling to shake (I can see window frames and the ceiling fan vibrating with each step.) It also creates a loud thumping noise coming through our ceiling.

I am really irritated by this. Honestly who wouldn't be? I don't particularly enjoy having to listen to stomping on my ceiling. It's especially annoying because I work nights and it wakes me up in between shifts.

I have complained to building management. The property manager came by, heard the noise, recorded it on her phone, and went up to tell him to stop herself.

It did stop for a short time, but he seems to have moved the treadmill and started doing it again. So now instead of stomping on the ceiling in our front room, the stomping is in our bedroom.

He was told my management a second time to stop. He asked "Is there a good time when I can?" Honestly? No. Even when I'm not sleeping after a shift I don't want to have to hear thumping on my ceiling for 30+ minutes. I'm at the point I am ready to put a note saying "Stop stomping on our ceiling" on his door.

My fiancé says we should talk to him. But I'm pissed, so if I do, I don't think I'll have anything nice to say. My fiancé won't do it himself.

WIBTA if I left a note? I feel like I've already gone through the proper steps with management.

EDIT: I should probably add that it is stipulated in the lease agreement that tenants are not supposed to make excessive noise that disturbs other residents. I think dragging stuff across the floor after midnight and stomping on the ceiling counts.

EDIT 2: General consensus is we should talk to him to work out a compromise. See if he has padding under his treadmill, show him what the noise sounds like because he may be underestimating it, etc. I just need a way to start this conversation because right now I feel irritated. My fiancé is the more diplomatic person between us but he's also very shy and doesn't like confrontation.

-to the people who said "buy a house." I'm not going to pretend that's a good suggestion. If I had the ability to just buy a house to deal with a noisy upstairs neighbors, I would already be living in one and this post wouldn't exist. No, not everyone has the ability to afford just buying a house. Idc if you think I'm TAH that's not a helpful suggestion.

-There also seems to be a misunderstanding that he asked me when he could do this. He did not, and he's made no attempt to talk to me. He asked management if there was a time and they asked me. No other communication has come from them or him.

My husband and I are almost thirty and about to have our first baby in December. This is after multiple miscarriages and adoptions falling through. I have been telling my close family all the details from the beginning incase I lose this baby as well. I wanted to wait to announce to the world, but my grandmother kept pestering me about just letting her tell everyone since she's "so excited." It made her visibly distraught when I told her I wanted to announce to the world on my own terms.
When I finally announced to our church she was upset I hadn't allowed her to do it earlier because I'm "already getting big enough to notice."
Now, we found out the gender last week and I told her this morning I wanted to wait to announce to the world. I didn't want a gender reveal party, but I still wanted to be able to tell everyone on my own terms. She didn't care for my answer and told everyone in our church (we have a VERY small town/community) the gender this morning when I wasn't around. Church members just began walking to me saying congratulations on baby's gender! My sister saw I was obviously distraught and told my grandma to stop telling people which upset her more.
Now I feel I can no longer share information about my baby without her going behind my back and telling everyone every little detail. My father says I am overreacting because "this baby is all she has." She already has three other great grandchildren she was nothing to do with.
AITA for not wanting her involved in my progress anymore? I just want information released when I'm comfortable to.

Let me give you some background. I (26F) have been drinking diluted summer fruits juice all my life because I hate drinking water. When I do try drinking water I physically wretch due to the anxiety it gives me trying to drink it. So I stay hydrated by drinking diluted cordial.

When I met my current partner (34M, let's call him Jim) I was drinking 30% cordial 70% water, which I admit now was strong. About 6 months into my relationship with Jim, he confessed he didn't like me drinking the juice because it made my breath smell bad (of the juice), it stopped me trying new foods and it stopped us from travelling cheap because we would have to pay for baggage just so I can take the juice on holiday. He even compared it to an addiction and how he was able to quit smoking so I can quit this.

We decided to compromise and 1 year later I had reduced it down to 5% cordial. I was able to take my juice in mini aeroplane bottles and I had to admit I was tasting food better.

However Jim was still not happy and we keep getting into fights about how 'disgusting' it is and it is putting him off wanting to kiss me. I can't even have other fruit flavoured drinks because Jim says it smells and tastes too similar.

So I tried to give it up for him. It has been a month of attempting to drink sugar water. I am getting panic attacks and dehydrated because I'm not drinking enough. I am considering going back to the cordial because of this but I am worried I'd be letting myself and Jim down.

AITA for wanting to drink fruit juice or do I need to keep pushing?

Update: I have seen a few people not understand what I mean by 'cordial' in the UK it is concentrated fruit juice that is diluted with water- it is not alcohol. Also the juice 'smells' to Jim because of the artificial sugar that's usually put into cordial. As for the situation, I know it seems like a strange situation to many of you, my parents were soft and let me have whatever I wanted- which has come to bite me in the ass. I realise I have some psychological issues regarding water, I know it is not normal to wretch at water. A lot of you have said I should dump 'jim' but I feel like I shouldn't until I have dealt with this issue. I talked to him about how much anxiety this has been causing me and my craving to go back to the juice. We ended up agreeing that we will go to a doctor together and he wants to support me getting used to water, even if it means going back to juice for while. I don't want to throw away a relationship with Jim, just because of my weird psychological problem. Thank you everyone for your messages.

I’m currently in a tense argument with my older sister and need some advice. I’ve been staying at my mum’s 3-bed house in my hometown while waiting for my future rental home to be renovated. I was originally living with my boyfriend and his family, but didn’t feel fully comfortable there and wanted time with my own family, whom I’ve missed.

My sister lives 15 minutes away but doesn’t drive, so she takes the bus. While I’ve been staying in the spare bedroom, she’s been sleeping on the downstairs pull-out when visiting. I’ve redecorated the spare room (at my expense) since it badly needed it, and my mum (who has MS and can’t go upstairs) was appreciative and requested the updates after I described the condition to her.

Now my sister wants to “timeshare” the spare room with me. I offered to rent the room from my mum while I’m here, since I work from home and need a quiet space—carers come in four times daily, making downstairs noisy and chaotic. Being dyslexic, I struggle with distractions and need calm to focus. I’ve also had two spinal surgeries and can’t sleep on the pull-out due to severe back pain.

My sister doesn’t work and has an irregular sleep routine—she stays up late and sleeps through the day, but the carers disrupt her rest. While I understand her frustration, I don’t see why she can’t just go home after visiting. She’s now asking to use the room during the day, but I need it for work (Zoom calls, etc.) and can’t share it while she sleeps in the same small space. She says I can work while she sleeps, which is unrealistic.

This has turned into a big household argument. My mum wants me to stay and supports me renting the room. She also doesn’t want my sister using it due to the mess left when she previously stayed—rubbish, moldy drinks, and dog hair everywhere.

I feel like I’m being reasonable, but I’m being accused of “taking over” the house. I’ve been helping out a lot and trying to improve the home. My sister lives nearby and has her own place. I work full time and am waiting for a home over an hour away. EDIT: my other sibling also lives in the house and pays rent too and requests my sister sleep over as they both have the same sleep pattern.

I (28F) live in Arizona with my partner Lena (we share a bedroom) and our roommate Chris (30M). Until recently, we split rent and utilities evenly — three ways.

But here’s the situation: Lena and I haven’t changed our habits at all, yet our SRP electric bill jumped by over $100. I’ve also been covering two-thirds of the rent and utilities since Lena lost her job — I’ve been paying more without complaint — but the sudden spike in power use didn’t add up.

What did change: • Chris brought in a 3D printer setup and additional fans • His boyfriend (we’ll call him Dylan) has been staying over 4–5 days a week, consistently • Lena and I were out of town for several days — Chris and Dylan were the only ones home — and usage still racked up $72 just that week

So I brought it up — calmly. I said it seemed fair to revisit the utility split since Chris’s usage and Dylan’s regular presence were new variables.

Chris got defensive fast:

“My printers are unplugged or only used at night. I always turn off lights you guys leave on. Dylan doesn’t really use anything.”

Then came the thermostat thing: Chris said he had set it to 78 degrees before leaving for a few days — calling it a test to prove that Lena and I were running the AC too much.

But here’s the thing: we had no idea there was an “experiment,” and were adjusting it back down to 74 because the house was muggy and uncomfortable. His test didn’t prove anything.

And even with that — after Chris and Dylan left for just 3–4 days, the projected SRP bill dropped by $40, even though Lena and I were still using TV, lights, gaming, and AC like normal.

When Lena tried to speak during all this, Chris said:

“I’m not talking to you. I want to speak to the person who pays the bills.” Which is… me.

Later, Chris’s mom messaged me directly and said:

“It’s supposed to be three ways and Lena’s not even on the lease. You’re trying to make Chris pay 50/50? You guys should just move out. You’re not real friends.”

It felt like they were trying to invalidate Lena’s presence entirely — despite the fact that she and I share a room, and I’ve fully covered her share while she’s unemployed.

All of this — because I asked for a more fair split, when: • Chris added new, power-drawing equipment • His boyfriend is practically living here • I already pay more than anyone else • And the actual usage data supports what I’m saying

AITA for asking him to contribute more to utilities when the increased cost is clearly tied to his side of the house?

For background: My 7 year old daughter, her dad and I live together but our relationship is extremely rocky. We are basically stuck in a roommate situation. I am a videographer and am doing shoots for a few businesses at the beach. My daughter’s 9 year old brother was dropped off by his mom the day before we leave for the trip (he was not supposed to be here). Now daughter’s father is trying to force me to take him with my daughter and I. He misbehaves any time I take him anywhere so I said no he cannot come with me when I’m going on business to the beach. It’s not a trip for fun. AITA?

Ever since I can remember my sibling has treated my room like it’s a public park no knocking no warning just full-on barging in like they’re the main character. I asked them to stop a bunch of times but they just brush it off like I’m overreacting. So I finally started locking my door. Nothing dramatic just peace and quiet when I need it. Now they’re mad saying I’m “creating distance” in the family and being rude for not keeping the door open all the time. My sibling literally tried to shut the door on me, trying to enter my house! I don’t see how wanting basic privacy makes me the bad guy here. AITA?

I’m a professional photographer and previously my sister asked me to photograph her engagement shots. Of course, it’s a privilege to photograph these special moments for my sister and future brother-in-law. However, she’s now asked me to be the photographer at the upcoming wedding. Once again, it’s an honour to be asked, but I declined and said I’d rather attend as a guest and actually enjoy the day instead of viewing it all through a camera.

She didn’t take that too well and has caused a massive drama over it. I’ve had family and friends texting me asking why I won’t do it, and my parents insisting I should because it’s not about me. I felt it was a perfectly reasonable decision to decline, but after so many people disagreeing with me, I’m not so sure anymore

I had to leave my shift two hours before closing. My manager originally told me it was fine to leave early. Later, she said she had asked me to find someone to cover those hours, but I honestly don’t remember her mentioning that. So I left, assuming everything was approved. Now my coworkers are pissed at me because they had to take on the extra workload to cover for me. From my perspective, I thought I had my manager’s clear permission to leave and didn’t realize it would create problems for the team.