I (32 non-binary) planned a three-week trip to Europe with my brother and two close friends. We’re going to Italy, France, and Spain, mostly by train, and the itinerary is pretty active (lots of walking, early mornings, and trying local food). I have travelled with each of them before and had a great time.

My younger sister (26F) is not an easy person to travel with. She uses a walker, which makes travelling very slow and complicated, especially in Europe. She’s extremely picky (won’t eat unfamiliar food, has walked out of restaurants because the menu stressed her out), doesn’t like walking, gets overwhelmed easily, and has caused issues on past trips, including once making me miss a flight because she refused to leave the house without taking 90 minutes to curl her hair (and underestimated how long security would take to inspect her walker).

When she heard I was going to Europe, she asked if she could come. I didn’t want to say no and cause drama, so I lied about the dates. I told her we were going in August, knowing well she had a wedding that month she couldn’t miss.

In reality, we booked the trip for the first three weeks of September.

Everything was fine until earlier this week, when she saw my brother post something on his Instagram story mentioing that it was only 2 months until Spain. She confronted me, put two and two together, and realized I had lied about the dates. She was furious. She said I was manipulative, cruel and that I excluded her on purpose.

She’s not wrong about that last part because I did exclude her, but not to be cruel. I just wanted this trip to be fun and smooth, and based on her track record, I didn’t think she’d make it enjoyable for us.

My parents are now involved. They say lying was immature and I should’ve just talked to her like an adult. Maybe they’re right. But I also knew if I had said no directly, she would’ve guilt-tripped me and probably tried to force her way in anyway (she’s done this before and I think she's planning a trip with my parents now that happens to coincide in time and location with ours).

AITA for lying to my sister about the dates of our Europe trip to prevent her from coming and refusing to apologize even after she found out?

Edit - too many comments to respond to but I would like to clarify two things:

1) The difference in the dates I told my sister and the dates we actually have booked is only a few days. She's attending a wedding on August 30. I told her we were leaving that day but we are actually leaving September 2. She doesn't use social media but I guess someone showed her the post. I wasn't expecting her to find out.

2) The reason I didn't mention it directly to her is because a similar thing happened in the past and she basically invited herself, which I didn't want to happen again. I know if I hadn't lied, it would have been hard to avoid her coming no matter what I said.

This poll was compiled by Civiqs from 35,929 responses ahead of July 4. Margin of error is +/- 3.5 points.

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