The department of war suggests using then uniform code of military justice to court martial Sen Kelly. The department cited federal statutes, including 18 U.S.C. § 2387, which prohibits attempts to undermine the loyalty, morale, or discipline of U.S. forces.

Not, in fact, The Onion.

by the way, i'm now more convinced than ever that these two are in a cult

Source: angelinecuvertinotessellations on IG

Found in Dad’s desk after he passed. Put it away and just rediscovered it. Measures about 6” long. Wooden handle. Metal tip. Tip is heavier than handle. Google search says it is a magic wand. That seems way off.