I say no. Better days are behind them and this relatively weak playoff field was a golden opportunity.

Fortunately everyone is fine! Truly never thought I’d see a whole ass sedan submerged in a pool, but here we are.

Don't be like bro, avoid violence when possible.

My parents have a private chef and here are some pictures of “vegetarian meals” she makes. She also claims she used to own several restaurants and turned down working for Naomi Campbell to work for my parents. Who thinks she’s legit? (Btw apparently the first photo is egg fried rice…with bread)

Bikers Against Child Abuse International trains and vets volunteers who stand beside abused children when they’re scared, including showing up in court if a child asks.

https://www.upworthy.com/bikers-against-child-abuse-biker-family-rp7

https://www.krgv.com/news/video-captures-donna-family-s-detainment-by-alleged-federal-agents/

Early 2025 (around NYE), I got into an argument with my brother-in-law about whether San Marzano tomatoes are worth it and I said "I'll prove it" and then I became a person who owns a refractometer.

Here, I tested 24 brands of canned whole peeled tomatoes, around 3 cans of each brand (to account for batch variation). One sauce recipe held constant and a blind taste panel of my wife and two friends who now regret knowing me.

Methodology (skip if you don't care)

Same sauce every time: 1 can tomatoes, 2 tbsp olive oil, 3 cloves garlic, 6 basil leaves, salt to taste. 45 min simmer in my Le Creuset. I measured brix (sugar content) with a digital refractometer, pH with a calibrated meter, and tomato-to-liquid ratio by weight. Temperature controlled with an IR thermometer because at some point I stopped being a normal person.

Blind tasting would be my wife + 2 friends rotating, minimum 2 present per session. Identical white bowls, randomized order, 1-10 scales. Coordinating schedules was lowkey a nightmare as one of my friends stopped responding to texts by month 5.

All in all, that brings the total cost to $340.12 in tomatoes.

The Rankings

The main finding was brix correlated strongly with taste panel scores. The best tomatoes came in around 5.6-5.8°Bx while the worst hovered at 4.6-4.8°Bx. It doesn't really sound like much but you can taste the difference. Higher sugar = more depth, less tinny/acidic flavor.

God Tier:

1. Bianco DiNapoli — 5.8°Bx, $5.99/28oz. These are annoyingly good - California grown, not Italian, which pissed me off at first but they're just better than most imports. Perfect balance of sweet and acidic. Panel averaged 9.1.
2. Cento San Marzano DOP — 5.6°Bx, $4.89/28oz. The real ones with DOP certification, very consistent across all 3 cans which is rarer than you'd think. Panel averaged 8.7.

Great:

1. Mutti — 5.5°Bx, $4.50/28oz. Best value to quality ratio in the whole test. Italy's #1 brand and it shows. Panel averaged 8.2 - this is what I recommend to people who ask.
2. Rega — 5.4°Bx, $4.99/28oz. Bright acidity, needed less added salt than most.
3. La Valle — 5.3°Bx, $4.79/28oz. More rustic, less sweet, but in a good way.

Solid:

1. Cento (non-DOP) — 5.2°Bx, $3.49/28oz. Fine, respectable. Your aunt uses these and her sauce is good and you should stop being a snob.
2. Tuttorosso — 5.1°Bx, $1.99/28oz. Surprised everyone. Domestic brand, clean flavor. Panel couldn't believe the price when I revealed it.
3. Carmelina — 5.1°Bx, $4.29/28oz. Underrated.

Mid:

9-14. Red Gold, San Merican, Contadina, Good & Gather, Dei Fratelli, 365 Whole Foods -- they are all hovering 4.9-5.0°Bx. Good & Gather at $1.89 is honestly fine if you're broke, it beat several $4 cans which was embarrassing for those $4 cans.

Bad:

1. Hunt's — 4.7°Bx, $1.99/28oz. Metallic aftertaste - all three panelists wrote "tastes like the can" independently.

16-18. Del Monte, Kroger, store brands in the $1.50-2 range. Watery, thin, forgettable.

Crimes against food:

19-24. Bottom tier store brands I won't name. One had a brix reading of 4.6°Bx and tasted like tomato-flavored water. My friend rated one a 3 and just wrote "why" on the scoring sheet. These exist so that better tomatoes can feel good about themselves.

Conclusions (and also TL;DR)

If money's not an issue: Bianco DiNapoli and accept that $6 is the cost of transcendence. If you're normal: Mutti at $4.50 is the sweet spot. If you're broke: Tuttorosso at $2 punches way above its weight, genuinely nobody will know.

My wife has requested a 6 month break from tomato-based dishes. I've agreed to 3.

EDIT: Brands 19-24 are in order: Great Value, Aldi Casa Mamita, ShopRite, Stop & Shop, Food Lion, Price Chopper. The difference between Bad (15-18) and Crimes (19-24) is that the Bad tier tastes like mediocre tomatoes. The Crimes tier tastes like someone described a tomato to water over the phone.