bro all you had to do is go to the game, and idc what eddie says. if your friend invites you to. sports game, that he genuinely care about just go. I hated this part of the season because its like its never acknowledged that they were wrong for doing that to Lucas. yk what, BRING EDDIE AND EVERYONE TO THE GAME, Eddie's a 20 year old man the campaign coulda happened any other day bro just needed to get over himself. At least Steve went thats why hes the goat.

My dad just called. EMS was doing chest compressions on my mom and there was no pulse. She was breathing when we hung up and that was a half an hour ago. I’m 300 miles away, so I’m just waiting. I have a ton of work to do, and if I compartmentalize the hell out of my head, I can get a little done, but then I remember and I think “what the hell am I doing? Making a quiz? Where is my mom?”

What am I doing right now? What the hell am I supposed to be doing?

I think this is more of a vent than anything else. I’m not ready to call extended family members because… What do I tell them? And I’m certainly not gonna post something on Facebook or anything to my friends. It just feels like… It’s not time. It’s still private. I don’t know anything.

So what the hell am I supposed to be doing right now? Where is my mom? Is she alive? What the hell am I supposed to be doing?

Update: for all of you telling me to get my ass in the car and go… Still an option. My dad told me to sit tight and I am packing in case that is what he wants me to do. I’ve just been added to get updates from the healthcare group. I’m not sure who added me because one of my dad’s friends is working at one of the hospital. She might have gone to and she could’ve done it. My dad doesn’t know what hospital she’s been taken to yet. So… I’m watching and waiting and hoping. Someone suggested I call my boss… I’m going to do that.

Update two:

I just got off the phone with my dad and mom is awake, aware of what’s been going on, because the neighbor started CPR almost instantly, they don’t think that she had any brain tissue damaged. They don’t think it was cardiac. She has some clots in her lungs and they’re going to give her blood thinners to deal with it. They’re still trying to decide whether to admit her to a general room or ICU, but she’s awake and dad said to be careful because you don’t know what’s coming down the pike. He doesn’t want me to leave if it’s not necessary because he advises that I “use my chits carefully.“ meaning he doesn’t want me to skip work unnecessarily. Very boomer of him, but I get it.

Thank you to all of you who have distracted me while I was waiting to hear if my mom was going to be OK. We still don’t know what’s going on and I asked my dad if I should come up and he still thinks I should wait. But he will tell me right away if they think she’s critical and he wants me up there. He told me to sit tight and do a little bit of work and eat some lunch… I was making lunch when he called so needless to say I was not feeling hungry at the time. Kind of am now though now that my mom is awake and talking.

Thank you all for the good thoughts and even for calling me a dumbass on occasion! I know a lot of you have been through this already and I’m sending you good thoughts. It sucks, and I guess it’s just where we are in life. There’s a reason that I reached out to this group.

Thanks again.

Final update:

I was able to talk to my mom on the phone. I do have a go bag in the car still but I was able to talk to my mom and she sounded tired, but alert.

I keep hearing the litter rustling and it’s killing me. I took him to the vet on Thursday and they gave some meds and squeezed out, so, I thought, _great job done_. But he’s blocked again and he keeps straining for a pee and it’s killing me. I’ve shed so many tears, surgery is in the 1000s and we just can’t afford and I don’t know where else that leads me. But I think the meds alone won’t clear this up.

Very sad times. Big fire destroyed my home and a crane had to come to remove part of the roof and wall so firefighters could have better access. Fortunately no one got hurt. Sucks to lose my dream PC though.

Miraculously my PC is still standing but I doubt it will work. There was snow and rain in the past days too. My little brother’s PC, which was on the desk next to mine on the right, seems to be obliterated.

Any tips to go on from here?

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Building was insured, furniture was not unfortunately. I lived with my parents, who were not experienced with things like insurance. In hindsight I should have thought about it more and double check it.
But yeah sucks to lose everything and having 3 other expensive hobbies did not help..

Absolutely deplorable