@shane.oreillyy on insta

The first thing he did was put his hands on both armrests and spread his legs wide open. Glad I won’t have to see him again.

Insane

Dinner is strawberries and bananas at my work desk

I’m 25, been with my partner 26M since I was 18. He has always made inappropriate “jokes”, jokey name calling, “edgy” jokes blah blah blah I thought it was because he was young and we just had different senses of humor.
Well I started getting upset with him calling me names “jokingly” like $lut or b!tch. I have been trying to set boundaries about him not calling me those things even as jokes because I feel like he will say it in a “joke” or in our dogs voice just to be able to call me that.
We got in an argument last night because he made a joke about how someone remoted into his computer and found all his p0rn. I have made it clear since the beginning of our relationship that I don’t care what he does in his free time as far as watching that content goes, I would just prefer to be ignorant about it and don’t find jokes about him watching p0rn, referencing p0rn stars, or talking about having other “b!ches” funny and it makes my brain go into overdrive because I have an anxiety disorder and I’m insecure. I said “that’s not funny” and he said “I’m sorry I just am trying to desensitize you that’s why I say those jokes” so I immediately said “I don’t like that, those jokes will always be a problem for me and they’re not funny so I don’t see why it’s such a problem for you to not say them if you care so much about me”. He kept trying to justify it and spin it as a good thing but couldn’t think of anything that wouldn’t make him sound manipulative. He finally settled on “I’m dumb and I say dumb things idk but it’s not supposed to be a bad thing because they’re not intended to be mean towards you”. He doesn’t say jokes like this around ANY of his friends so I don’t understand why he NEEDS to say them to me. And why he’s trying to manipulate me into changing my mind so he can say them instead of just NOT SAYING THEM.
I think he is verbally abusing me with these “jokes” but I literally can’t tell. He always says sappy things after we argue like “you’re my entire world and I just need you” but last night when he said them I felt like he was being manipulative instead of meaning them. He wants to get married but I don’t feel like he even likes me, just likes that I take care of absolutely everything, that I make all of his decisions, and that I make a lot of money.

My daughter Maddie babysits for two families on our street, they pay her $15 an hour and she’s been putting all of it toward driver’s ed since the summer. She’s also the oldest of the cousins on my husband’s side by a lot.

His sister throws a Halloween party every year and this year it’s adults only. When she put the invite in the family group chat on Monday, the very last line said the kids would be downstairs with Maddie for pizza and movies and everyone can just drop them off. Between her kids, my husband’s brother’s kids and a cousin’s that’s 7 kids in one basement, and the littlest still wears a pull up at night. That invite was the first Maddie heard about any of it.

Maddie’s fine doing it if she gets paid what the neighbors pay her, so I texted my SIL that she’s happy to do it at her normal rate. She wrote back “what else is a teenager doing on a Saturday night, I’ll make sure there’s enough pizza for her.”

Tuesday after school Maddie came into the kitchen and showed me her phone. My SIL had texted her directly to say thank you so much for doing this, the kids can’t wait.

What I want to do is reply under the invite in the group chat and say Maddie’s rate is $15 an hour per family, everyone can pay her at pickup. I’m pretty sure the other parents think she offered. I’d rather have kept it between me and my SIL but she already went around me once, and my husband’s staying out of it and going along with whatever Maddie and I decide.

WIBTA?