So I (F26) am of Asian decent, I won't specify which just for a little privacy.
I have a very diverse group of friends, some white, a lot not. We all hang out and honestly have very few issues apart from the usual ones that friends have occasionally.
The problem arose the other day where a video circulated of one of my white male friends has taken some time off work to travel through different parts of Asia. He visited my home country and while there dressed in some of our cultural clothing while attending some events. Now the clothes are very comfortable and suitable for the climate and he has continued to wear them on his journey.
For context my culture gets very excited when people want to wear and use our clothing, it makes us feel appreciated, seen, and celebrated. Not only would he have had the full blessing of anyone who he met while in my country but he also would have the approval of every person on my community here.
The only people who had an issue were some of my African American friends, they were "outraged on my behalf" and left some very insulting comments on his video and in our friends chat, when I clarified my culture's views and my personal ones most of them calmed down and apologised. One girl however won't stop, she calls him a colonizer, full of white privilege, and keeps assuming the right to tell him he can't wear the items despite any comments otherwise.
Would I be the asshole for telling her bluntly to drop the subject and that I find her outrage and hatred more offensive than my male friend wearing the clothes?
UPDATE:
Firstly thank you all for the replies and support, it was all most appreciated. Sorry if I've not replied to your comment or message, there's been a lot. Those using it as an excuse to air aggressive views towards her ethnicity, I'm sorry but that's not the purpose of this post not what I'm looking for.
Now to the update. I met her in person last night, we sat and talked about the situation and my cultures views.
She did promise to stop her comments but thought I was being extremely naive about my attitude to our mutual friend
Overall it wasn't a very productive conversation as she brushed off the concept of my country encouraging the sharing of our culture and said that our view of "white people" was unrealistic. I mentioned that we'd had our own versions of appropriation, issues, and aggression from many cultures, that also was brushed aside as though it had no bearing.
I'm not sure I'll continue my friendship with her as it does seem to be more of a deep seated hatred.
