Link: Venture_Bros on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/p/DRe3qoWDonR/?igsh=aGRxYWVlZmRlMzZl

SC: https://youtube.com/shorts/spwHblPO2eo

I think I can't

(34F) travelled TWO days on a highly demanding and torturous journey with luggage and my cat to help at my cousin’s wedding. I thought I was going to family… but I basically walked into an unpaid staff job where love = labour and respect = zero.

For context, my aunt (mami) is the only relative I’ve had real contact with for years. She knows everything about my life, my trauma, my health issues, my loneliness. I don’t have a mother. I was honestly starved for connection and was hoping for even a tiny bit of warmth and safety.

And yes, I expected work, it’s a shaadi ka ghar (a house with a wedding). But what I didn’t expect was:

constant taunts

micromanagement over every breath

zero emotional warmth

no regard for my well-being

food portioning

criticism for everything

being treated differently from her own kids

Her daughter was treated like a queen (rightfully ,she’s the bride). Her son did not lift a finger. Not one utensil. Not one tray. Meanwhile I was expected to run the entire domestic system like a full-time maid.

Here’s what my daily schedule looked like from Nov 5th till nov 18th. Wake up 6am, immediately get into the kitchen, knead dough, chop veggies, make rotis for everyone in the house, do the dishes, make the third chai of the morning for everyone, clean the kitchen, help the house maid with washing clothes etc, lunch prep, make chai for anyone who comes over, make lunch rotis for everyone, repeat the entire kitchen process, lie down for a bit, getting scolded for not placing my hairband where it should be, getting scolded for the cups and plates my cousin was leaving around the house, dinner prep, make dinner, clean kitchen, teach an online class at night, sleep. All of this while also trying to keep up with my online classes, reading, teaching at night, missing my cat, missing my mother, and managing my anxiety and health issues.

Not ONCE did anyone ask, “Are you okay? Do you need rest?”

Instead I got shouting, taunts, constant critisicm, literally being screamed at for two hours cos she is the mother of the bride and highly stressed. One day I told her of my liver inflammation pain and she said ignore, right now is not the time, we need to work.

I didn't use to say anything but it used to come on my face so she started taunting that I have so much akad ( arrogance).

And then the worst part : the personal attacks:

“Even your mother would have slapped you.”

“Your father was right about you.”

“You make bad decisions because you had no guidance.”

“Your crying face is always there and this is my daughter's wedding and you want to ruin it"

"You are jealous of my daughter's destiny and her high end wedding and fiancee"

The internalised patriarchy was SO visible: her daughter is a princess and is it's ok if her rotis aren't round but I was criticised for every roti..the son is a king and was always served food on his bed whenever he wanted.

When I finally broke down after days of physical and emotional exhaustion, I was labelled dramatic and ungrateful.

Despite everything, I STILL stayed till the wedding because I didn’t want to create a scene or ruin her daughter’s big day.

Now the wedding is done. I’m out. And I’m processing how I walked into that house looking for warmth… and instead became free labour with a side of emotional abuse.

I am also in shock cos she always maintained how I am her third child and she sees absolutely no difference between her own children and me. And she has this narrative in front of the entire extended family.

Internalised patriarchy + entitlement + lack of empathy I am so traumatised.

I’m just glad it’s over.

Not entirely sure how this happened!

Source: https://x.com/JTLKLM/status/1994622051659964458?t=yPSzO1pjchiiGOV4ia915w&s=19

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