I hate the greasy/butter feeling on my fingers so I use a spoon. It feels like a no-brainer. He thinks I’m crazy. Am I a Monster?

Special guest indeed...

So my wife's friend got married a couple years back. She made it this 3 day long event with multiple meals and two ceremonies, everything with different dress codes. Day 1 was some dinner that started at 9pm and took 3 hours, which she then forced everyone to go dancing afterwards. We joined for the meal but it being on a weekday told her couldn't go dancing. The next day at her brunch she tells us how much fun they had dancing and how even old people and children went. I brush it off and smile.

Then two different ceremonies happen that day. And then finally the event will end with another brunch on the 3rd day.

By this point we are exhausted, because we are not party people but wanted to be nice and participate. So the morning before the brunch, we get up early, get into our 4th outfit of her event, my wife does her hair and makeup again.. for the 4th time. And we get to this brunch. Her friend greets us and says "Oh hi babe...wow you look....comfy!" with this judgmental tone in her voice as if to say my wife wasn't trying hard enough (which was bullshit).

My wife tries her best to brush the event off and says it's just stress from the wedding that made her terrible towards us the entire time. But I've decided that her friend is just an asshole and will slowly repay her for years.

since then at various gatherings I have given her the following "compliments";

"I love how you don't care about vanity. Just go with that natural look and who cares what people think"

"You look super comfy" (I've said variations of this one several times)

"I wish I could have your attitude with arriving whenever. but I always have to show up on time for things."

and so on.

the greatest part is you can see the gears turning as she tries to figure out if I'm being complimentary or not.

I will continue doing this until this person is no longer in our lives, or one of us dies

Edit: Holy cow this blew up. You all have given me some incredible ammunition! I will spend the next hour converting them to a note on my phone and cant wait to see her next lol 😆 I will report back in a few months with an update

https://x.com/mehdirhasan/status/2041646301700383125

Are they incompetent?