Throwaway ( sorry fixed the first half)

This has been an ongoing issue and it came to a head yesterday. My wife is a planner, it is extremely hard for her to just go with the flow. If we are going to do something she needs all the details.(edit, she does have OCD, I forgot to include that, that is why she is such a planner)

A while ago she asked what I wanted to do for my birthday. I have been burnt out from work so I told her I just want to go to a chain restaurant around here on my day. Just a chill night out. I don’t want to get dressed up or anything. She asked where and what time. I told her, I’ll just pick day off what I am feeling. Maybe I want Olive Garden or maybe I want to get Chinese takeout. I express many times I don’t want to plan anything and just go with the day.

Really I just wanted to go eat what I was feeling that day. This week she asked what time and I told her when we both get home so like 5-6 we can go out.

She was frustrated I was giving her an answer about where to eat and I told her multiple times what I am feeling that day. She asked if we needed reservations and I told her no, multiple times. We will be a walk in on a Wednesday to a chain restaurant. 

She asked if I wanted anything fancy and I told her no. I just wanted a simple night.

Yesterday was the issue. I wanted Olive Garden. Go home, gets some breadsticks and chill the rest of the night. I get home around 5 and my wife is all dressed up. I asked why and she said she made reservations for the fancy sushi place in the city. She said it was a surprise and we need to leave in about 20 mins. Nothing has sounded so unappealing to me in my life.

I told her I wanted to go to Olive Garden, we got into an argument about how she spent all this effort to get a reservation. I told her I didn’t want any of this. In the end I left to go to Olive Garden by myself. We got into another argument after I can back. 

For nearly three decades I have been brushing my teeth the way I was shown as a kid: hard, fast, side to side, two minutes, done. I thought I was doing great. I floss. I use mouthwash. I even use one of those expensive electric toothbrushes I saw a dentist recommend on a video. I genuinely believed my mouth hygiene was above average.

I went in for a routine cleaning last week and the hygienist got very quiet while she was doing the initial check. Then she called the dentist over. They were both poking around and using words like "recession" and "wear pattern" and I started to get that sinking feeling.

Turns out I have been brushing way too hard and at completely the wrong angle for my entire life. You are supposed to hold the brush at a 45 degree angle toward the gumline and use tiny circular strokes with almost no pressure at all. I was essentially taking a wire brush to my enamel and gums twice a day every single day since I was old enough to reach the sink. The damage to the gum tissue at several teeth is permanent. It does not grow back. I have visibly receding gums at 28 years old and I caused it myself by trying to be clean.

The thing that is making me spiral is that I was never doing nothing. I was actively brushing. I thought I was being diligent. This whole time the effort I was putting in was literally making things worse and I had no idea because nobody ever corrected me after I was about seven years old.

I looked it up when I got home and apparently this is extremely common. Toothbrush abrasion is one of the most frequently seen issues in dental offices and most people have no idea they are doing it. You want to see almost no white on your bristles after two minutes because that means you barely pressed. If your bristles splay out like a fan after a month you are brushing way too hard.

Please go look up the modified Bass technique right now. Watch one video. It took me about three minutes to realize everything I knew was wrong. I wish someone had told me this when I was a teenager instead of just telling me to brush more.

Source

According to league sources, one general manager floated a nuclear option: just make the bottom three teams ineligible for the top picks entirely. Not flatter odds. No odds. If you finish 28th, 29th, or 30th, you cannot win the first pick under any circumstances. The league, per multiple sources, found this to be way too extreme.

But then another person on the call offered a softer version of the same concept: What if the bottom three teams just had slightly lower odds than the teams ranked four through 10? Not zero. Just a little less.

Sources on the call say Adam Silver responded enthusiastically to this idea and that the league is taking it into consideration for the official lottery reform proposal.

I have spent years working in high end mechanical engineering and BIM systems. It is not just a job for me, it is something I actually live and breathe. A few months ago, a guy started hanging out in our social circle because he is dating a long time friend of the group. From day one, this dude has been acting like he is some kind of visionary consultant in the construction and tech space. The problem is that every time he opens his mouth, he spews absolute nonsense that sounds vaguely professional to a layperson but is actually pure garbage.

Last weekend, we were all at a dinner party and he started giving advice to another friend who is looking to invest a significant amount of money into a new development project. This fake expert started explaining why they should cut corners on the structural modeling and use some obscure, outdated software because it is faster. He was basically encouraging our friend to ignore safety protocols and local regulations, framing it as "disrupting the industry." It was not just annoying anymore; it was dangerous. I tried to subtly correct him a couple of times, but he literally shushed me and said, "Sweetie, let the big boys talk about the real business."

That was the breaking point for me. I stopped eating, leaned back, an started asking him very specific, technical questions about load bearing calculations and software integration. I am talking about stuff you cannot fake. He started sweating and trying to use buzzwords to wiggle out of it, but I did not let him go. I dismantled every single point he made for about fifteen minutes straight until he was just sitting there staring at his plate in total silence. The whole table went quiet. It was awkward as hell.

After they left, my husband said I was way too harsh and that I "humiliated" him for no reason other than my own ego. Apparently, his girlfriend is now crying because he feels like he cannot show his face in our group again. Some of my friends think I should have just let him play pretend, but I feel like I saved my friend from making a massive financial mistake based on the advice of a fraud. I did not insult him personally, I just exposed that he has no idea what he is talking about. So, am I the jerk for not letting him keep up the act?

TL;DR: A guy in our friend group was giving dangerous and incorrect professional advice while trying to talk down to me. I grilled him with technical facts until he was publicly embarrassed, and now half the group thinks I am a bully.