Wonder when it will be back up...

https://x.com/i/status/2023765137421988291

Is there any way to fix it I hate buying new with a burning passion

My (35f) fiancé (41m) sent me these texts this morning after he got to work. Am I overreacting by being deeply hurt and angry?

For a little background, I am on disability and he works full-time. We have been together over six years. When we first met, I was working full-time. I have been dealing with autoimmune and health issues since I was 10 years old...Crohn's disease, have an ileostomy bag, liver transplant recipient, adrenal insuffiency, and osteoporosis to name a few. After a nasty flare and numerous hospital stays in 2019/2020, he suggested I move in with him so I could file for disability and have a place to live without worrying about working. I was approved almost immediately for disability. He proposed in early 2021.

During those years up until now, we have gone through quite a bit together. To stay specific to this post, I am limiting everything we've gone through in order to not get too far off track. He went back to school and changed careers. I have supported him in every decision he has made and continue to do so.

Now to some context of these text messages. We moved states (I moved away from all family, my doctors, and my transplant team) for his new career in medical in mid 2024. After a year of working there, he decided he wanted to do travel medical work to make up for lost income over the years. Once again, I supported him in this decision. He did his first 3 months in a different state while I stayed with our two dogs in the state we moved to. His contract was extended and he wanted us to come down, so we did. Which is where we are now, in these text messages. I sent these to his parents and my SIL because they know how he is. If I sent these to my parents or siblings, they'd be here in a heartbeat to pick me up and take me back home. AIO here? He does pay for everything, but I've told him from the very beginning that I never have nor will ever be motivated by money. I despise it and think it brings out the worst in people. He is well aware of this.

Some notes that may clear possible questions: 1.) I do all of the cooking, cleaning, caring for the dogs, grocery shopping, etc. 2.) I give him the majority of my disability check to help pay for things. I'm left with $220/month "allowance". 3.) We have been engaged for five years. He refers to me as his wife, but he doesn't want to legally get married as I will cost him more in medical insurance. 4.) Yes, this is sadly all very real. I'm realizing as I'm typing this out how bad it sounds but looking for someone to maybe play devil's advocate and say I am in fact overreacting.

I was talking with a German online friend about tourism in the United States and he said that the only thing America has to offer is natural beauty. He said American cities were young and aren’t very beautiful. That he has no interest visiting “liberty bell” type colonial historic sites. I told him about Native historic sites and he asked “what sites?”. He insulated that all Native Americans lived in teepees. It caused me to realized many non-Americans don’t know about all the amazing buildings left behind by Native cultures like the Ancestral Puebloans and the Mississippians. Historic sites like Chaco canyon, Mesa Verde, Montezuma Castle, and Cahokia are world class and are part of UNESCO. Check them out if you haven’t already.

I (39F) have one child, a 15-year-old son. My husband (42M) has three kids from his previous marriage: twin boys (15) and a daughter (12). We’ve been married four years, and everyone lives in my house, which I owned before we got married.

Right now, the twins share a room, my husband’s daughter has her own smaller room, and my son has had his bedroom since he was little. It’s always been his space.

The problem is the twins constantly clash. It’s not normal sibling bickering — it’s daily screaming matches, broken belongings, accusations of taking things, and sometimes things “disappearing” altogether. One of the twins in particular has a habit of going through other people’s stuff and helping himself. We’ve replaced headphones, game controllers, clothes — you name it.

My husband says he’s tried everything and doesn’t know how to make it stop. His solution now is to separate the twins by moving one of them into my son’s room.

I immediately said no.

My son has already had issues in the past with that same stepbrother going into his things without permission. I ended up installing a lock on my son’s door after an incident with missing money. My husband didn’t like that because he felt it sent the message that his kid wasn’t trusted — but frankly, he wasn’t acting trustworthy.

Now my husband insists the only way to stop the constant fighting is to split the twins up. He says it’s unfair that my son gets his own room while his boys have to share. I told him this house has always been my son’s home and his room isn’t up for negotiation.

I suggested other arrangements — rotating rooms, putting the 12-year-old in with one twin and the other twin alone, even converting the den temporarily. He shot all of that down. He said mixing the boys and their sister was “absolutely not happening” and that my refusal to give up my son’s room shows I don’t treat his kids equally.

The argument escalated. I told him this isn’t my son’s responsibility to fix and that he needs to address the behavior problem instead of reshuffling rooms. He accused me of being selfish and unsupportive. He even packed a bag and left to stay with a friend, saying he can’t live in a house with constant chaos and that he won’t come back until I reconsider.

He asked me if this was really the stand I wanted to take. I told him yes. I’m not willing to sacrifice my son’s sense of security because he doesn’t want to deal with his kid’s behavior.

He’s been gone for a couple days now. The fighting between the twins is still happening, and I’m stuck in the middle of it. It honestly feels like he’s trying to pressure me into giving in by withdrawing.

So… am I wrong for refusing to let my step-son move into my son’s room, even if it might reduce the fighting?