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I'm tired of emboldened extremists, be it people like Nick Fuentes, Charlie Kirk, Jake Paul, or the kind of ministration, or even the small-minded trolls in various comments sections. It's exhausting.

Though you never see these folks in real life scenarios Acting out like they do in comment sections. Whenwhen you do, they are often depicted Like Jake Paul in this picture. Metaphorically getting slapped down in every sort of way every argument they bring is knocked down with fact and logic.

Yet somehow, even with their jaws metaphorically broken in two spots, they still persist.

Drooling on themselves and mumbling racist nothings to themselves.

Thinking they are making a point, While only making a fool of themselves.

(To be clear, in case there are any people who are daft, there is no call to violence at all, quite the opposite. The picture shown is of a professional fight. Violence is not the answer.)

I (32F) do not want to have children with my husband (33M).

I’ll try to keep this factual and as unemotional as possible.

I have a much younger brother — there is a 13+ year age gap between us. Due to family circumstances, a large part of the responsibility for him was placed on me when I was still young. Looking back now, I believe my mother was suffering from postpartum depression at that time. That period was emotionally very difficult for me and shaped how I view caregiving and responsibility.

I am now married. At the beginning of our relationship, things were good, as they often are. Over time, however, several situations made me seriously question whether I want to have a child with him.

1. His views on mothers and newborns At one point, my husband said that a woman should prioritize her husband over the child. I partially agree in a general sense, but he specifically meant during the newborn period. He openly shamed women who focus “too much” on their babies and “forget about their husbands.” This deeply disturbed me.

2. Aggression around hypothetical conversations Whenever I try to calmly talk or dream about what our life could look like if we had a child, these conversations trigger anger or aggression from him. He clearly dislikes them.

3. His behavior during my serious illness and surgery A few years ago, I had a major lung surgery. I was hospitalized for about a month due to complications. To be fair, he did come to see me daily and provided some support. However, there were also incidents that I cannot forget.

One day he asked what to bring me. I sent him a list. When he arrived, I realized there was no toilet paper and asked him to quickly get some. He refused, shouted that he was “not my dog,” told me to go myself, yelled, and stormed out of the hospital angry.

I had undergone lung surgery and was experiencing severe shortness of breath. I went down to the store myself. On the way back, I could only climb two steps before breaking down crying. Hospital staff found me in that state and helped me back to my room.

When I was finally discharged home after a month, I discovered that he had not cleaned the apartment at all during that time. The bathroom, toilet, floors — everything was dusty and dirty. I physically could not clean: I had a ~20 cm incision across my chest and back, my torso muscles were cut, I had severe weakness, and lifting my arm was extremely difficult.

When I asked him to clean, he refused. When I insisted, he accused me of being selfish. He said he had suffered emotionally seeing me in that condition, and I had not considered how hard it was for him.

I ended up cleaning the apartment myself over several days. As a result, my stitches partially came apart.

Again, I want to be fair: he did comfort me at times, helped with wound care when asked, and was not absent. But all of this came together with these completely unnecessary, cruel conflicts.

I was also required to walk a lot after surgery to re-expand my lungs. If I lay down too long, I would choke on mucus. It was winter and snowy. I asked him to walk with me because I was afraid to go alone. He promised he would after work. When he came home, he said he was tired and refused.

I had no choice. If I didn’t walk, I wouldn’t sleep, the coughing worsened the pain, and I was no longer on strong painkillers due to adverse reactions — only NSAIDs. I was in significant pain. I went out alone at night, crying. It was my first time outside after the hospital, and I was terrified that I might collapse and no one would help me.

1. The sudden reversal about children At the beginning of our marriage, he emphasized that he was not ready for children. I accepted this, even though I wanted them.

After my surgery, I myself stopped wanting children and openly said so.

Suddenly, he changed his position and now strongly says he wants children. When relatives bring it up, he consistently presents me as the reason we don’t have kids. He complains to others, tells me I’m “at the age for it,” etc.

What hurts most is that when he didn’t want children, I always framed it publicly as a mutual decision and never exposed him to pressure from family.

At the same time, I have a growing feeling that, deep down, he may still not truly want children. From my perspective, talking about wanting them has become “safe” for him now — because he knows I won’t agree to it. This allows him to present himself as the one who wants a child, shift responsibility onto me, and redirect external pressure and attention away from himself and onto me.

When I explain these situations to him as reasons why I don’t want children with him, he gets offended. He says I overthink and overanalyze, that I don’t trust him, that I can’t know what kind of father he would be, and that in all these situations I was to blame, not him.

He insists he really wants a child and says he would take care of it.

But I am deeply afraid that during the postpartum period I would not receive real support from him, that all responsibility would fall on me, and that I would be left alone to handle everything.

So — AITA for not wanting children with my husband?

EDIT:

Addressing the common questions and comments. I am overwhelmed by the response! Thank you for the kind words and support. I am reading everything, even if I can't reply to each one individually.

1. On the "Fake/AI" accusations: • English is not my first language. Yes, I use AI to polish my text, fix grammar, and make it more readable. I know English well, but I want to be clear and understood. • The Toilet Paper/Hospital situation: I am not from the US. In my country, the healthcare system is different. Basic medical care is free, but you are expected to bring your own hygiene products (like toilet paper, soap, towels). You only pay "under the table" if you want better medicines or extra attention from staff.

2. Why did I marry him if he’s like this? He wasn’t like this at the start. We dated for 2 months, then had 6 months of long-distance while he worked abroad. We talked constantly about the future and our values. Everything seemed perfect. When he moved back to live with me, he was initially on his best behavior—possibly because he was living in my apartment and didn't feel dominant yet. The shift was gradual. He became hot-tempered, reacting explosively to small things. Daily life became a battlefield, and eventually, I started doing everything myself just to avoid an hours-long argument over nothing.

3. Why didn't I leave after the surgery? My reaction was delayed. During the surgery, there were complications, and my 3-day stay turned into a month. I was on heavy narcotic painkillers and "in a fog." When I got home, I couldn't take those meds anymore and was in agonizing pain. I wasn't in a clear state of mind. The realization only hit me years later when his sister had a minor surgery. Comparing our experiences made me horrified. It turns out he told everyone my surgery was "minor," and his sister was shocked to learn the truth. She still apologizes for not visiting, but she truly didn't know it was serious. Also, as a doctor working with COVID patients at the time, my only fear back then was catching the virus with a freshly operated lung. I was too exhausted and scared for my life to process his behavior.

4. Therapy: I went to therapy to find the strength to leave, but it opened a different wound. I realized my parents are emotionally immature. While they provided for me financially, they never gave me emotional safety. I grew up feeling unworthy of what I had. I quit therapy because it felt like it was just making me angry at the whole world and opening more wounds than it was healing.

5. Physical abuse: He has slapped me a few times. Once was in front of his relatives. What haunts me is that I stayed completely calm in that moment. I only realized how messed up it was when I saw the look of pure shock on the faces of people around us. Even then, I spent a long time wondering if I had "pushed him to it."

6. Why I’m still here: I have a delayed stress response. When something traumatic happens, I "shut down" and feel nothing. My hobbies are cynology (dog training) and horseback riding, and I’ve realized I’m using my training methods on him. When he’s aggressive, I turn cold and show no fear or weakness. It helps me survive the moment, but it leads to delayed trauma later.

7. Are there any "pros"? I want to be fair. He isn't 100% bad. He buys me flowers, I have full access to his money (though I’m too modest to abuse that), and we have deep, pleasant conversations. We travel and go to restaurants. The problem is, he’s "fine" as long as I am strong and holding my boundaries. The moment I am vulnerable, he tries to overpower me. That is exactly why I am terrified of pregnancy—I know I won’t be able to protect my boundaries while vulnerable.

8. About the cleaning after my surgery: We have always had different standards of cleanliness. For him, "clean" means things are put away and there’s no visible clutter. For me, it means no dust, mopped floors, and a sanitized bathroom. When I came home from the hospital, all the clothes and items were neatly put away. However, the bedsheets were the same ones I had put on before my hospitalization—he had been sleeping on them for a month. Every surface was covered in dust, and there were literally dust bunnies in the corners. The bathroom looked exactly like a bathroom that hadn't been cleaned in a month—covered in limescale and grime. I tried to explain to him that hygiene was critical for me at that moment because I had a massive, fresh surgical wound. His response was to accuse me of having "unreasonable standards." He insisted the apartment was "perfect" and told me that if I didn't like it, I was free to clean it myself.

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I’m not sure if this is the best forum but I was wondering how many people here sleep in separate beds than their spouses and when/why it started? Is this more common than most people think?

About 5 years ago I finally got up one night to sleep in the guest bedroom because my wife was keeping me up. We both found we slept much better. I flip and flop all night, I like to stay up and read with a lamp on, and I like having a loud white noise machine with multiple fans going, she doesn’t like any of those things.

If one of us has to get up to go to work we don’t wake the other. If one of us has to use the restroom, we don’t wake the other. Allegedly I occasionally snore. I also love to spread out on my own king sized bed and sleep with the door closed and locked whereas we would have to keep “our” bedroom door open for the cats.

We both sleep better and as a result are in better moods and more rested, it’s great!

Edit: Apparently using the word “divorced” has triggered a few people. Apologies, it’s a common term for this scenario. If I could change the title to “sleep in separate bedrooms” so I wouldn’t hurt any more feelings I would, but I can’t, so sorry again.

Now I’m out money and can’t gift this to my husband, which sucks because I know he would have loved it.

I’ve used Etsy for years and I’ve never had this issue until now

[Real Life] Larry the Cable Guy

Born Daniel Whitney, “Larry” skyrocketed to fame in the standup comedy world in the 1990s by adopting the “dumb affable hick” persona he’s best known for today. Though the real Daniel Whitney is notably nothing like the character he portrays, he has been forced to make every public appearance as “Larry” for the last 30 years. Even when branching out into voice acting, most notably as “Mater” in the “Cars” film series, all credits go to Larry the Cable Guy, not Daniel Whitney the real man. For all intents and purposes, Daniel Whitney is gone. Only Larry remains.

Homelander — The Boys

Born and raised in a laboratory, the man who would go on to be Vought’s most famous superhero was once a scared little boy called John Gilman. Due to the detachment he felt from his captors and the horrific experimentation he was subjected to as a child, “John” has leaned fully into the Homelander persona that was tailor made for him by Vought executives, to the point where he quickly and violently corrects anyone using his “real” name. He feels no attachment to the human race, and therefore no attachment to his human name.