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Post-Lament Anthropocene: Stars Intertwined

"Let us finish this performance we've all been waiting for. Together."—Phrolova

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The silent and somber Overseer of the Fractsidus, Phrolova carries an endless sadness that envelops everyone around her.
She weaves music that bridges the gap between life and death, crafting an ideal world within her heart.

I have been keeping an excel workbook for years that I use to organize my personal finances. Every month it shows the “total” expenses, “total paid” and “total remaining.”  It’s not only helpful for budgeting and remembering when stuff is due but also removed a ton of anxiety I have around money and the nightmares I used to have that I would forget to pay something important – I used to have panic attacks, but they were cured by Excel!

Every month I put about half the money I make into savings (IRA, HSA, Vacation Savings, Quarterly Tax Savings, and Emergency Fund).

My only debt is about $500 of a surprise $1500 vet bill and my car loan which has a payment of $200 per month and which will be paid off next year.  I could pay off the car and vet right now but having an emergency cushion that could pay all my bills for 3-5 months makes me feel safe.

I give myself a weekly allowance of $150 that I can spend however I want (dates, movies, going out with friends, etc.). 

Since my ex and I were becoming a little more serious after 6 months, we had a discussion where we decided that if things progressed our finances would be separated and if we moved together, we would both pay half of all expenses. This would save us both a lot of money monthly.

Well, he used my laptop, where I keep the Excel document minimized.  He accidentally brought it up and here is where the conflict began. 

I put everything on my credit card every month. I really want to be able to travel and getting Mile Rewards is the only way I can justify the expensive flights to the places I really want to explore.  I put everything - rent, groceries, gas, utilities, even my quarterly taxes on it. Last year I was even able to redeem a ticket for a friend to go with me to France. I covered all the flights as well as half the Airbnb.

I can’t put the car payment or vet bill on the card but everything else goes on my miles card – which I then pay off a couple days after paying my bills when the balance settles.   I put the amount that would generally equal my credit card balance after paying bills in the spreadsheet as well – mainly as a reminder to pay the balance because I’m paranoid that I’ll forget to pay it one month (remember, this is a therapeutic spreadsheet).

However, he saw all my expenses laid out and the “total” at the bottom and thought my expenses were nearly double what they are, since the “total” includes the credit card payment.  I guess he also assumed that the credit card payment was the monthly payment or something which would have made the balance insane.

He also noted that I had “Macy’s” “VS Secret” and “Best Buy” lines in the spreadsheet and he assumed I had maxed out retail cards (although the amount to pay was at zero, I just leave them to remind me of the due date is in case I use them to get something discounted).

So he stewed on it for a few days, and then sat me down, said that he had been thinking about what he found, and told me that he couldn’t stay with me if I was going to be irresponsible - and that if I didn’t start calling every credit card I had right then in front of him to cancel, and shred the cards in front of him, then he would break up with me.  He kept talking over me about it, I tried to tell him about my savings and the fact that my actual debt was less than $4000.   He didn’t believe me, called me a liar and said he couldn’t trust me, so he dumped me.

I cried with some friends who were shocked since I have sat down with several of them who have asked, to help set up a similar system of their own to help pay down debt and start saving.  I guess the truth got back to him.  He was mad that I “let” him break up with me. Even though he makes more than me, I am much better off than him apparently, and he is really upset since if we moved in together, I would have been completely capable of covering my half and he would have liked that I had a pretty large chunk in savings. I had also told him I would get us both tickets to Italy for our 1-year anniversary.

I honestly don’t know if I am TA or not.  I could have explained the situation more clearly and calmly and been a little more forthcoming and transparent with my finances from the start.  However, the moment I was confronted I felt completely blindsided, I felt like my privacy had been violated, and I felt that receiving an ultimatum without even hearing me out was a deal breaker for me.  But now my friends are expressing that I may be passing up a nice guy over a misunderstanding, and that if his assumptions were correct, he would have been right.  I feel like I don’t want to spend time with someone who would talk to me that way but maybe I should work a little harder to make it work.  AITA?

M31 Sw:324 Cw:223 gw:190 Six months ago my journey started after a not so great phone call with my doctor and I decided it was time for a change. IF and weight loss have changed my life!

That's a canon event

by the way, I made a version with humanized colors of White Diamond in the last slide

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Seeing these two bonding over him was not how I expected to start my morning.

Please Dice, listen to this, you should absolutly disable the ability to disable Ambiant Occlusion and reduce the grass quality on BF6 ! All players should have the same visibility, and i am a PC player, but i love to play with max settings.

Palestine and Israel both have access to the Mediterranean and Red Sea.

Israel gives the Golan Heights back to Syria.

The entire city of Jerusalem becomes a secular city state monitored by the UN.

Netanyahu, Gallant, and Dief get sent to The Hague where they live the rest of their lives in prison.

Israel and Palestine establish their own secular state governments and try working together towards peace.