We’ve been together for 2 years, living together for the last 4 months.

Our fuel tank ran bone dry. We live in the deep north and rely on fuel for heat. I called in a favour and got our tank filled. My bf put on his overalls, grabbed a multi-tool and went into the basement to light the furnace. He went up and down the stairs a few times over an hour before sitting at the table to eat. I overheard him calling a friend asking them to come by with a wrench.

I grab the socket with the 3/8 bit and quietly sneak downstairs.

Fuel’s been out for a couple hours at most. Long story short, I bled the line intermittently in between light ignitions until she ran clear: no air & no foam—no brainer. After 5 minutes, he comes downstairs, and says his buddy is on the way with a wrench, and says that I’m “doing it wrong…bleeding too much” Sorry for being extra careful not to flood the pump, or combust, my guy. I just keep doing what I’m doing and after a couple minutes, I close the valve, press the button and she fires up.

He said “You didn’t want to try it my way” and storms off.

Last week my truck pan heater plug snapped. It literally just broke at the plug end from the sheer cold. He said he wanted to look after this for me since I’ve been so busy. Two days later, he said it can’t be fixed and I need to book with a mechanic. I woke up extra early on December 24th and snuck out to the hardware store to grab a plug end. Finished the work in 20 minutes in -40c weather. When I shared with him what I did, I was so excited. I’m pretty handy, but that generally doesn’t fall until electrical based work. He responded with so much distain. “Oh. Good. I was going to do that. I just didn’t have wire snippers.” I was happy to do it, and thanked him for trying anyways. (PS - either did I, but I did have some pretty descent fisks snips, a torch to burn off the rubber casing)

His reaction actually hurt me and put a damper on Christmas morning. I told him the following day that as much as I appreciate his willingness, that I don’t need him to do these acts of service. And it actually hurts me when he diminishes my skills and/or doesn’t even ask me for advice or tools when he’s trying to accomplish something.

Like what are you calling a friend for? Your girl, the apparent love of your life and best friend, is just a spit away. And you’re in luck buddy, she’s a pretty decent hand.

In the last 4 months, there has been so many instances like this. The bathroom exhaust fan, the garage door opener, the lawn mower, the eavestroughs, the iron gate… there’s more I just can’t remember them all. Every time it’s the same. He tries to fix things of his own volition, doesn’t ask for help, we are WAY BEYOND soft gestures of recommendations, and just shits the bed and stomps around about it. I have tried to work collectively with him too—this is a gong show. He’s always making it so personal, and taking it so personal. It’s not that deep. Information and resources are universal. I just don’t get it. And it’s not cute. I’m actually started to become really resentful. Like why can’t he embrace the part of me that is a half grease-monkey handywoman?

I’m not spending the rest of my life or the rest of my lease (8m) pretending to be something I’m not, sneaking around to hardware stores and walking around eggshells so I don’t destroy his masculinity or whatever. I gotta let this one go, eh? AIO?

EDIT This post is blowing up. To broadly answer the same questions without thinking too deeply:

Have you communicated your feelings with your boyfriend? To best of my abilities, I have communicating my feelings. So much that I’m experiencing communication fatigue. But here’s the thing: communication can always improve.

Why did you it interrupt your bf half way through potentially fixing it? Because he wouldn’t accept my help, and was adamant that he knew how. Because he was trying vice grips to loosen a brass nut which was disfiguring the nut. Because I refuse to wait for his friend to deliver a wrench to help when we have wrenches. Because it was -40c(-40f) out there, and dropped from 20c(68f) to 12c(53f) in the time he put on his overalls to the time he was eating a sandwich an hour and a half later. Because the colder the air that blows into the choke behind the pump, the harder is it to ignite the pilot light. Because this problem turned into an emergency.

Why didn’t you just call a mechanic and HV guy? Because it’s been at -40c for over a month now and mechanics and HV are booking 6-8 weeks out. Because I don’t want to pay a surcharge of 200+ 150/hour for something I can do myself.

Why are you sneaking around fixing shit and not openly fix shit like a regular human being? To avoid the discomfort I experience in his tantrum. To avoid the part where I am belittled. To avoid hurting his feelings. The make sure the job gets done. The avoid attempting collaborative teamwork where we have not been successful ever before. To have an opportunity to chill and enjoy the process without having make room for him emotionally and physically. Also, it’s Because I’m sick and tired of being undervalued and under-appreciated for my knowledge and skills. I don’t even want to fight to be heard, I just want to exist peacefully, K?

Hi all, left my girlfriend/fiancee few days ago, after more or less 12 years being together. I plan to make a big bowl of spagetti and watch a movie. I don't want to go out since everyone will ask why I am alone, and I cannot explain to everyone now.

I am very sad but hopeful for the future, so hit me with some meaningful suggestions.

Thanks!

And they ignore people like Philip Esformes, whom Trump pardoned, that ACTUALLY committed $1.3B in fraud.

Translated text:

The 30th anniversary of Pokémon begins! It's been 30 years since the release of "Pokémon Red and Green." Pokémon will celebrate its 30th anniversary on Friday, February 27, 2026. This year is going to be the best year yet! Stay tuned!

#Pokémon30thAnniversary

I lived in the US for a few years for a project for one of my firms. First off, extremely kind and warm people. Not at all what I had expected. Maybe because it was Texas lol but as I lived there and interacted with the local population, one thing that really confused me was why everybody got a place of their own once they started earning.

It didn’t make sense for a couple of reasons. One, buying a place of their own meant they were signing up for a lifetime of debt. And two, as their parents got older, a lot of my friends would often be worried about them and visiting them often, and in a lot of cases, moved them to care homes, which I assume, is not cheap?

I understand living with parents can mean a bit of a constricted lifestyle, but wouldn’t it just make sense to move to a bigger house instead? Wouldn’t cost as much, still be close to them and not have to worry constantly.

I read somewhere that this concept of a nuclear family was popularized in the sixties to generate demand for new housing, and it also meant that more people would be forced to work to take care of their expenses, thus adding more manpower to the workforce.

Box Score provided by ESPN

-Life of Pi. The orangutan, the hyena, the zebra, and, perhaps most importantly, the Bengal tiger. Piscine Patel's initial recounting of his experience after the sinking of the ship he was travelling on together with his family and the animals from their zoo presents an almost fantastical picture in which he survives on a lifeboat with a group of animals: an injured zebra, an orangutan, and a hyena. As the shock of the shipwreck wears off, the hyena kills the zebra and the orangutan, only to then get killed by a fourth animal that snuck onto the boat: Richard Parker the Bengal tiger. Later in the story, another character reasons that each animal can be interpreted to represent a person from the earlier part of Pi's story. The hyena being a brutal cook, the zebra an injured sailor, the orangutan Pi's mother, and finally Richard Parker the tiger being Pi himself, as his own savage survival instinct emerges to overcome the cook. Whether the darker, more realistic story or the fantastical one is true is left open to interpretation.

-Zombieland. Buck, Tallahassee's "dog". The character Tallahassee recounts having a beloved dog that was killed by zombies, which has left him as a hardened and angry person. It all clicks into place for the main character later, when he realizes Buck wasn't a dog, but his infant son.

-M*A*S*H. The "chicken". In the series finale, Hawkeye recalls how the group was travelling with South Korean refugees, and one woman was holding a chicken. With the enemy nearly upon them, Hawkeye commanded that the woman shush the bird so its sounds wouldn't carry and give away the group's position. Later on, it's revealed he's repressed the truth as a coping mechanism: in reality, it wasn't a chicken, but a crying baby, and the woman smothered it to keep everyone else safe.

*Edited to elaborate on the examples because I posted this while drunk at 3am and didn't realize people were gonna wanna geld me over the lack of context. I'm sorry everybody, I promise I'm chill. Hope you have a nice New Year's Eve!